My wife has a real hard time being intimate. Most of the time I have to initiate things, which doesn’t always feel right to me.

I feel like she’s just doing it to please me. When we do she does seem to enjoy it, but that’s beside the point.

Lately , she has gotten into the habit of playing with my taint up and one day she eventually ended up playing with my behind. She started fingering me.

It was a real turn on for her. It drove her wild. I don’t like it and I didn’t say anything because she was enjoying it and has a problem being intimate. What do I do?

Netizens’ comments

1. You should probably talk to her about it. You can tell her that you liked that she enjoyed it but didn’t necessarily like it yourself. It might be hot for you to hear her talk about what she enjoyed about it, and that might lead to a good conversation that helps you explore each other’s desires.
2. Just poop on her finger and scare her off it.
3. If you don’t like it you have to communicate that. There’s nothing wrong with not being into something your partner enjoys. You could reflect on why you don’t like it if you really want to try to continue it. Is it uncomfortable? Is it a mental thing or a physical dislike? Either way your consent is important here.
4. if you legitimately do not like it , communicate it. do you know why you dont like it? is it a comfort thing?
5. If you’re not wanting something to happen you should feel able to say so
6. Here’s the hard truth. OP has the right to not like it AND should talk about it BUT it is extremely likely that wife will shut down when she hears her attempt at adventure is not mutually enjoyed.

Colleague leaving – What exactly is this feeling?

So I have a colleague who is leaving the company soon. Ever since I joined a couple of years back, he has always been the friendly, easy-to-approach colleague who is always willing to lend a helping hand.

At first, we don’t talk to each other at all (mostly just hi bye, smile, super formal kind) but as we started working more closely together for work, we gradually got closer.

Honestly, really didn’t expect him to leave so when I heard the news, I couldn’t contain myself. I suddenly felt sadness.

Even during the farewell, I teared up. As someone in the 20s who just started working, I’m still trying to figure out what this feeling is. Is it normal to feel this way when a co-worker suddenly announce departure?

Netizens’ comments

1. I’ve felt this way with colleagues of both genders. The sad reality of corporate life is that people with come and go as you progress in your career. Some of them were dear friends who you’ll keep in touch it, but most likely you’ll never see them again. I have seen colleagues of both genders with platonic friendships tear up during farewells. It’s ok to be sad. Take your time to process your emotions.
2. It means you had a good working relationship and probably consider each other as friends. Try to keep in contact!
3. this happened to me recently albeit a little differently. Initially when she left i was indifferent to it , then i started teaching a new lady hire 3 months later and she was like a carbon copy of that colleague.
   I suddenly missed the colleague who left quite dearly, yes i am a guy and yes i am not into her , she was a good friend.
4. I feel like it’s normal. I’ve felt this way for colleagues, no matter their gender. Just make sure you keep in touch with them once you leave! However, maybe he doesn’t feel as close to you since he didn’t warn you beforehand that he was going to resign.

I can’t forgive myself for my dog’s death. Its been nearly 30 years

Monty was a great dog. He was my best friend in a time when I was socially crippled with extreme shyness.

I loved him but I didn’t take care of him as well as I should have.

I could have done more research into what kinds of food would have been more healthy. I could have trimmed his hair more often in our really hot summers. I could have used better quality soup on him which left his fur lifeless and dull when it could have been beautiful and shiny. I should have been even more attentive in his old age when he got depressed

Here’s what I say to console myself. I lived in a pre-internet world where dogs are not appreciated. As a result there weren’t really much opportunities for any kind of research.

There were very few veterinarians and those that existed were lacking in resources. I myself had to act as a nurse in at least 2 cases where the vet had to operate on my dog’s ears.

I had no idea what kind of food or products were good for a dog. As a result I’ve never been able to shake the realization that he was malnourished and he often covered in ticks that I had to spend ages removing one by one.

Most of all, I was a kid and had to do most of this on my own.

None of that seems to work. There was always more I could have done. When he became sick in his old age and because of his health issues I should have paid even more attention to him.

 Is it selfish not to be wanting to live with parents in laws?

My parents have passed. My parents in laws are quite old, and they’re reasonable people to which I’m very grateful for. Our relationship has been good all along, except for when it comes to my children – I’m the no bs, no myth kind. I like to have everything based on science. They’re, of course, the kind who believe in myth and old sayings. But apart from that, it’s all good.

Recently my husband and I were talking about what’s going to happen to one parent when the other one passes….. Here’s the thing, I am a very personal person. I like my own space, I enjoy a quiet home. We’ve been living alone (husband, I and two kids) since we’ve been married.

My home is really my nest and I enjoy being at home. My work also allows me to be home. So it’s been really nice. My in-laws are the type that will enter rooms whenever, and they’re loud as well. They touch my things (I don’t blame them for their habit, I just don’t like having my things moved around when I already organise it).

I feel like my boundaries and space are crossed whenever they’re around. There were a few times they stayed at our place because their place was under renovation. I was basically confined in my own room because they invaded the living room, and their belongings were everywhere instead of being in their own room (we gave them one room for that temporary stay) and I couldn’t stand it. I felt silly that I had to be confined in my own room while it’s my own house.

So I believe living separately is ultimately the perfect arrangement because there’s less conflict and I enjoy spending time with them whenever we meet. But the problem is I feel like my husband is disappointed about this, thinking that I don’t like his parents.

I assured him that I love them, especially since my parents have passed, I take them like my own parents. At the same time, I know my own boundaries and I respect personal space a lot. I wouldn’t like to have any unnecessary conflicts to happen.

My Sis-IL is the “filial piety” type which makes it worse. She loves her parents so much that whenever there’s family conflict, she will have opinions that are in favoured of my parents in-laws – even justifying the wrongs for the sake of my parents in-laws.

She can’t take in her parents because she’s living with her in-laws. So I find her really annoying at times because she has all the support she needs to raise her kids (both her parents n in laws help her) while she works and enjoys her life. She also always has her own parents house to “go home” to anytime. I don’t have that as my parents are no longer around.

My current house is my only home. It’s literally the only place I could call home. So naturally I’m protective of it. I’m afraid both my husband and my SIL will see me as someone who’s ungrateful for my kind parents in laws, thinking I don’t love them. At the same time I know I’d go crazy if they live together with us. Not to mention, space constraint is also an issue in our house. Both our kids will need both bedrooms in the future.

Please help. I would really love to know what do you all think about this (some of you might think I’m ungrateful but just let me know nicely) , and how I should I approach this respectfully.

So yeah I needed to get this off my chest. It’s thrown me for a loop. I was with my husband since I was 21. We got divorced two and a half years ago. We just grew apart and mutually agreed that the best thing for us was to go our separate ways. It was relatively amicable as these things go. We have three boys (22, 19, and 16).

My sister also is in the process of a divorce. Her soon to be ex was cheating on her with a coworker of his. My sister has two kids. (10 m and 6 f). Apparently one-night last year after my cousin’s birthday party the two of them ended up “doing it”. I remember the night because my sister showed up in a very revealing outfit and was turning heads all night. Little did I know one of the heads she turned belonged to my ex-husband!

They’ve been sleeping together off and on ever since. I know they’re both adults and neither is in a relationship but it still seems weird to me and I don’t understand why my sister would go there. For that matter, I don’t understand why my ex would do this. He’s a really attractive man, he always has been. He shouldn’t have much trouble finding a woman to date yet he chose my sister?!? Perhaps he’s more angry about our divorce than I thought?

My niece mentioned to me that he’s been around with mommy a lot. So I asked about it and he just flat out admitted what’s been going on. When I ask my sister she didn’t even try to deny it and said they’re both adults and they’re not hurting anyone. According to her it’s just physcial and there are no intentions of them being together as a couple.

I don’t know why this has bothered me this much. Maybe because when I met my husband when we were in uni and my sister was in primary school. Were they looking at each other while they were both married?

I asked both of them if they ever messed around while we were married and they both denied it. Maybe I’m foolish but I believed them.

My (30M) workmate (50F) keeps trying to set me up with her daughter (18F

We work a Sunday shift together every week, I work with other clients throughout the week but we always have this shift together.

We work with a client who sometimes doesn’t want to engage with us or may be at the hospital or something so we often spend the majority of the shift gossiping in the office.

This means that it’s just us two talking.

I am single so I guess it’s not that weird and I always laugh it off but the thing is I’m not too sure what her angle is.

It’s been brought up maybe three times over the space of two months so I guess it’s not just a whimsical statement.

She has shown me photos of her daughter dressed up at parties and in a bikini on holiday.

Harmless? Weird? Maybe she likes me? I don’t know

Netizens’ comments

• Why does she want her 18 year old daughter to date 30 year old coworker

• I’d be super concerned if my 30m coworker tried dating my barely legal 18 year old 🥴 what a weirdo

My husband and I used to have a 2 income home but in 2020 we’ve lost our home and one of our incomes (his). We moved into a smaller apartment, had to sell many things and give up most of our “costly” habits.

My husband has an expensive habit of going to the spa for a weekly massage session. we live in an town area so this stuff is ridiculously expensive. A single session is $250, and he has to have it every week so that’d be nearly $1000 a month!. I offered him to have his session at a regular spa but no, he has to get it from that luxurious spa near the restaurant we used to go saying the lady who gives the massage is an expert and he’s used to her.

The problem is I’m the only income earner and I’m struggling to make ends meet. I’m also pregnant and need to save money to prepare a nursery. I told him to cut his sessions but he refused. I told him I won’t be paying for them anymore and he said he’d get the money himself.

Yesterday I checked and saw that he’s been using my credit card for his sessions for a whole month and had maxed out completely. I found that out when I went shopping for baby essentials and the cashier said I had no money. I had to return everything then went home and went off on him. I told him he maxed my card out and made me look like an idiot at the store, he said he didn’t tell me cause he knew I’d have an issue with it. I demanded he pay back the $1000 he spent but he refused, I yelled at him calling him irresponsible and he got upset and called me selfish and told me to stop playing victim and that this is affecting both of us since he’s going to be a parent too and it’s stressful for him and I keep dismissing his own needs as a human.

I went upstairs and he went out. He started giving me silent but I kept demanding the money back. he said I shouldn’t expect it back since we’re married then my money is technically his and I should stop using his unemployement against him.

Here are what netizens think:

• You sure he go for spa or he go for special, where got so expensive one

• He sure take the money go for some “special” la.

• He stole from you to buy a luxury, Immediately cut him off from all access to your money and credit. Don’t give him any money at all. And seriously reconsider living with him since he steals from you.

• Confirm the spa got happy ending one lah