My wife (27F) got a tattoo and I (29M) am inexplicably furious when I look at it or her now. Where do I go for help?

This is so beyond my character and it’s so stupid but the emotions are real and they’re out of control.

I’ve been having panic attacks into the months leading up to it every time its mentioned, but I soldiered on thinking I would get used to it.

She got it yesterday and now any time I see her, and doubly so if I see that thing, I feel nothing but pure contempt, hatred, and resentment.

I’ve had to completely remove myself from the household for the time being or I risk doing something stupid. This isn’t like me at all and i have no idea what’s going on. It’s just a tattoo!

I love her so much, and she loves it and I want to be happy she’s happy but instead I feel no love or even care for her when I’m in the same room. I’m scared of myself.

I’m just looking for some perspective on what I should do. I recognize how messed up my own head must me right now, and how stupid this is.

This isn’t me. I want myself back. I’ve already cut some deep verbal wounds because I want her to hurt, we separate rooms I calm down, realize how stupid I’m being, go to apologize, and my blood is boiling again when I see her.

I need help but I don’t know what help I need. Please, any direction on where to go or what to do.

I’m prepared to be crucified. I deserve it. I am the bad guy here.

My coworker is a construction supervisor he seems to have worked on a lot of projects and has a lot of experience. He offered to be a sort of mentor to me since I am very new to construction. I agreed and said that would be great.

My actual supervisor didn’t mention anything about me helping this guy but I do it because I am a team player and because it would be nice to build a good relationship and learn from people with experience.

The problem is that this guy is very old to the point where he struggles both mentally and physically to perform any task. He kind of reminds me of my father and it’s very sad to see him like this. So I try to help as much as I can. He unfortunately either knowingly or unknowingly started taking advantage of this. I told him three times now as tactfully as possible that I have some things I am working on and that I will handle whatever he wants when I am done but he doesn’t seem to want to back off. He has been given work on a project that won’t happen until a year from now while I am given work on a project that we are currently doing.

I need to be on top of my work so that it doesn’t reflect badly on me. So in terms of urgency my project should come as a priority. Yet this guy would basically hand off task after task to me that he is trying to do for his project the entire work day to the point where I can’t do my own work at all. Keep in mind all the tasks he gives me are essentially to help him understand the project better.

Things like overlaying drawings. Arranging them in certain ways or color coding certain things or just writing up something in a table. It never stops and they are so minor, tedious, and pointless that I get more upset because now I have to continue work from home in the short amount of time I have after a 12 hour work day because I am essentially this guy’s unofficial secretary.

Am I wrong for complaining to my boss about him?

A Singaporean guy recently posted on Facebook and stated on how he wishes he was a girl as he would be able to make millions easily. He said that he could easily earn $5,000 a day by selling his body or selling his bath water.

Here is the full story.

Sometimes I wish I was a girl. As a 23 year old, if I was a slightly pretty girl, it is extremely easy to make millions. In the past, the one of the easy way for a girl to make millions is to become a prostitute. For example, on the forums, local university girls have an hourly fee of 700 dollars. Some of the younger ones would request to as high as 1000 and if you go to higher end escort forums as much as 5000.

Considering an low count of 5 clients a day, that amounts to 5000 a day. Do it 5 days a week and they could make around 100k a month, possibly out earning some of our ministers and definitely out earning the ‘mediocre people who earn only 500k a year’. I know of girls auctioning their v*rginity for multi-millions to Arabian oil barons. These days, there are a lot more options for girls these days. They can be a twitch streamer or a Instagram model. Belle Delphine makes around 2 million a month feeding her octopus pet and selling her bath water for up to $30 a bottle (which was sold out in hours).

Only fans is also another platform for girls to make money fast. With technology, they don’t even need to meet their clients physically. The possibilities are endless as long as there are legions of h*rny teenagers (and half grown men) in their mom’s basement to exploit. Unfortunately as a male, my options are rather limited. I did consider providing anal services even though I am not gay, but the pay is quite low and the market is rather small in Singapore.

Unfortunately, I don’t look like Brad Pitt, so no girls would pay me for company. Even if I manage to get to FAANG or hedge funds, I would only make 200k-500k a year by my 30s which is very mediocre compared to what these girls could make at their 20s. Realistically, I would probably work in a regular job, maybe earn my first million by 40 or 30 if I am extremely lucky which is rather sad ngl.

I’m a woman turning 30 this year and I’m finding it really hard to find a partner. Most guys looking are in their early 20s and most guys my age are already with someone.

I work in audit and I work very long hours. I admit I’m married to my job but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to “settle down.” And by “settle down” I just mean having someone I can partner with for the rest of my life. I don’t even care if I have children. I’m indifferent. I just want a guy whom I can spend time and grow old with.

Been on several dates and I realize very few guys want commitment. I only had one relationship that failed because he cheated on me and justified it by claiming I’m too busy with my work. I have already tried my best to spend time with him but audit is a really tough job. But anyway, that’s in the past.

I want a low-maintenance guy who can be comfortable being by himself but who is happy to spend time together when time permits. Surely there are guys like that? Don’t guys have to work in the 30s as well?

All the house-husband types are already taken.

Here are what netizens think:

• I’m dating anything that walks, please take me

• There is definitely someone out there who is also scratching his head and searching high and low for a girl like you. Just that both of you could have missed each another or you both have not met. Be a little patient, and look around. He could be around you. Good luck and don’t give up hope.

• Find a house husband like already house husband so when u free can go n talk n grow old with him, when u r not free he can work on his family…

Husband acts like he prefers my daughter over me

I got married & gave birth when i was 18.

The marriage eventually ended & i remarried, bringing my daughter along when she was a teenager.

Now my daughter has grown up and married. However, my husband’s behaviour seems weird recently.

He will want to include my daughter in every outing or meal. I can’t go “paktor” with him anymore without him asking me to call my daughter to come along.

Once during dinner with friends, he chose to sit beside her instead of me, taking up the seat meant for her husband. When i asked him to move over & sit with me, he just said he prefers to sit there with his girlfriend.

I trust my daughter not to have anything of that kind with my husband, but i don’t trust my husband anymore. He would rather go to her for opinions and help everytime when he has a wife just beside him. I tried to talk to him about it but he always changes the subject.

Do i have the right to suspect him?

Here are what netizens think:

• Don’t call your daughter out la. Just say she wants to spent time with HER HUSBAND

• Yes..your suspicion is valid..he is up to no good..speak with your daughter so you can have a sense of her take on this..hopefully she is not already into a forbidden messed up rs with him.

• You siao ah, daughter mah. U old hag.

My (26F) mom passed away at childbirth, so it was pretty much my father (50M) and me, with the occasional visits from my grandparents (from both sides), since I lived with just him, I took on a more masculine style and likings, like ”one of the boys” but the only boy was my father. I was Rexy (for T-rex, because I was obsessed with them for years), I had no barbies (he bought me a few but I was like ”ew), and I had almost 0 dresses or skirts, he also did my hair really awful every time.

When I was around 12, he began dating this woman called Maria who had a daughter (15 at that time) named Stacy, while Maria was a total sweetheart, Stacy was horrible. She tortured me for not looking like ”a girl should do”, for liking ”man stuff” like cars, bikes and stuff like that, I have to admit that I also didn’t had many friends while growing up (neither female or males) so my person was my dad, and as I grew up I got involved with what he liked. To make things short, Stacy would often throw awful comments about me being a boy, a weirdo, etc and my dad would do these same comments in a slightly different way, but they hurt me more because he was confirming that while Stacy was ”his daughter”, I was his ”son”. What broke my heart was that he called Stacy ”Peach” like Mario’s princess while I was T-Rex.

I did a 180° in my looks at 15, I brought dresses, skirts and dyed part of my hair a sweet pink which made Stacy laugh at me even more and my dad was like ”woa! Pink? that’s for girls”. In my 16th birthday, Stacy put black dye in my shampoo and ruined my whole look, I guess it was the stick that broke the camel’s back because I cried so horrible to the point of not breathing and I told my dad in front of Maria and Stacy what she had been done all of those years, along with my dad awful remarks and subtly enabling Stacy’s awful comments.

In the end, he left Maria and Stacy because it was obvious there was no going back for me after that, he eventually married my now step-mom when I turned 20. My dad apologized, we talked about it and a year after that we attended therapy until I was 24 I don’t like to talk about it, I think it broke my relationship with my dad in a way we will never be able to fix, I know he doesn’t have my back.

Yesterday, while talking he tried to joke about it and I said that I didn’t want to remember it because I’ll never forgive him for joining Stacy in her terrible ways, he said it couldn’t be possible that I’m still holding a grudge, I say I am, and that I always will because he absolutely broke my heart and confidence, he tried to argue, but my step-mom said that he needed to let go because my feelings are my feelings. I still cry when I remember it, but he says I’m an AH because he left them and made amends with me.

“My boyfriend is a huge fan of buses and can tell what model is the bus by simply listening to the engine. He can even memorise bus plates and sometimes I tell him over the phone the number of the bus I’m taking, and he has the superpower to tell me the exact plate number and bus model of the bus. I suspect he has autism.

Well that’s okay with me.

What’s NOT okay is that whenever we go out, he likes to keep whatever rubbish we created and bring it home to throw! if we ate McDonald’s or KFC outside, he will put all the rubbish in his bag to bring home. He does not allow me to throw away a bag that is not full, so he tries to make it full using whatever rubbish we created outside. the house really stinks because the rotting meat has been in the plastic bag for several days. He also do not want to use the bin as the plastic bag does not fit any bin perfectly, so it is an exposed plastic bag. I have thrown up several times because of the smell and we argue a lot over the smell of the rubbish.

Last but not least, he does not want to hang clothes on any pole to dry as he thinks the poles are dirty from bird shit, dust or other people touching it. So all our wet clothes from the washing machine will be dumped on our bed. Some nights I have to sleep on cold, wet bed because the clothes have not fully dry.

He also does not allow me to sit anywhere whenever I come home from outside. I have to sit on “dirty” chairs and not simply any chair. I cannot sit in the floor too.

I’m not able to break up with him as he would threaten to kill me or my family or himself. He will also make trouble for me at my workplace. I feel so trapped and no one to turn to. I can’t tell my friends or family about this. I’ve turned to AWARE but they can only help people who are married. What should I do? Sometimes I feel like dying to escape from all these misery.”

Here are what netizens think:

He needs professional help.You need someone in the industry to find resources you can turn to.Keep asking around.Keep up the hope.Start by writing down your option on paper and clarity would come.Edit: there is no one agency or organisation that has all the answers. The most important thing is the mindset and not feel trapped.That’s why keep asking around and get options. Only then you can be empowered.Your own well being is important as that would also have an effect on the boyfriend. Whom I guess you also want to be happy. Although it seems like it won’t work out don’t mean both can’t have a happy life aheadEdit 2 threats like killing you or family or himself is constituted as criminal. Calling the police to seek guidance is one way.There are also hotlines to call.1767 samaritans of Singapore1800 777 0000 national anti violence hotlineGet options. Empower yourself. Then pull the trigger and stay the course of action.Lastly. If you have a trusted person. Be it a family member or a friend. Time to confide in them.They might not have the answers but the conversation is important.Societal pressures and norms might prevent you from doing that and that’s why journaling or writing down is like a conversation you have with yourself.Although best to talk with someone and best with a professional. Because professionals are trained listen and give advice best suited to your situationEdit 3I implore you to take the tiniest step today that would safeguard yourself and the ones you love. Have courage. A stranger here is rooting for you. 

I dont know why some ppl can find this post amusing. Pls keep all possible evidence of his violent and threatening behaviour( if it is verbal, take a note of date/time/place and content). File a police report, block contacts and end relationship with him immediately. Easier said than done, but for your safety, it has to be done

I found out a few months ago people change their underwear every day. I’m 24.

Apparently I am supposed to be changing underwear on a daily basis. This is not something I was ever told growing up and I had a very normal upbringing.

Neither parent ever pointed out I any issue when I would wear the same underwear for a consecutive day. I don’t know how this slipped through the cracks because it seems very routine for everyone.

For my entire life I’ve worn the same underwear for 1-2 weeks at a time. Apparently this is horrific. Thought everyone did this.

How do you people not run through underwear like crazy? I have enough of other clothes to not need to do laundry for several weeks.

EDIT: I should clarify after I found out a few months ago I do change underwear daily now.

Netizens’ comments

As I was reading I was expecting to read 1-2 days not weeks

I swear my GF is always checking out my brother when we are all together.

So I (18M) and my girlfriend (18F) still live at home and so does my brother (20M).

Whenever we are out together or at the dinner table I’ve noticed over my girlfriend and I’s one year relationship that she is always turning away from me the minute my brother starts talking but barely even looks at me when I am, regardless of how long.

On top of this when conversation has stopped she is continually looking at his features like, vascular hands and other features.

One time my brother and I were having a gym session and I looked back after I had finished my squats to my girlfriend staring at my brothers arms as he was doing bent over dumbbell rows.

Please let me know if this is probably me overthinking something here or I should be feeling a little frustrated or something about this stuff and how to go about it?

Netizens’ comments

The options I see are:

1. Suffer in silence
2. Talk to her about it
3. Break up

I have a lot of resentment towards my mother-in-law

She is not a bad person, in fact she is very kind and helpful from her heart. She is the type of friend who will go all out to help you no matter what problem you have.

However, her dynamic with my husband is bad… really bad. She was a single mom since he was 7 and she was probably too young to manage a child so he was on his own a lot. Then she was absent during his growing up years leaving him with relatives while she worked and also fall out with the relatives due to her easily offended behavior.

When he got into adulthood, he had to in turn take care of her like a parent which included managing her finances, taxes, her rental property, her medical appointments, basically she doesnt learn/know anything and depended on him a lot and sometimes I see how that stresses him out. They argue a lot when they talk too which is where all my resentment is arising from.

My husband is one of the sweetest man I have ever met until it comes to his mom. But being her only son, he cannot shun the responsibility so all the interactions stresses him and out and in turn stresses me out.

Next, I know she is easily offended so I am always cordial to her to keep the boundary. Means I give her respect but I can never give her love. I know she wants to love me like a daughter because that is in her nature, she has a lot of love and a lot of strong feelings.. but I just can’t because of resentment and boundary. I keep the boundary so that we will not have a relationship so we will not have a chance for conflict. In other words, I do not have any desire to be personal with her on any level and I think she can sense it.

Lately, the resentment got stronger because she said she is having anxiety and that also worried my husband. I have no sympathy towards her, I feel that she is weak and useless and burdening my husband. Additionally, I feel like a horrible monster because I have so much sympathy for even people on the streets, the homeless but I have no sympathy for her. I feel horrible and angry when I think of her. I dont like this version of myself.. Just ranting.