Freeloading uncle want us to be his free babysitter

Context

1) maternal Grandma is very traditional

2) Uncle is 50 and his Vietnamese wife is 28. They have a 7 yo daughter and a 5 yo son.

3) uncle married and have kids to “carry on the family name”. He said it’s because my grandma “forced” him to.

4) Uncle has been living with grandma and doing odd job all his life so, not much savings and now driving grabcar. He doesn’t seems to want to work harder for his family.

5) Grandma gave uncle a huge amount of money when his wife got pregnant with their first child and gave him almost all her savings when the son was born.

Grandma became bed ridden, uncle refuse to chip in for the maid

Fast forward 3 years later, my grandma’s health deteriorated and was bed ridden. Uncle and his wife didn’t want to take care of her (and have no knowledge to) so we suggest to hire a caretaker.

Uncle is the one who holds grandma’s ATM card and he refused to chip in for the maid. So me, my mother and my brother paid for the maid. We stopped giving monthly allowance to grandma since we’re paying for the maid.

Uncle got into small incident, refuse to work at all and live on grandma’s savings

Last March, my uncle got into a minor accident while on his job and he stopped driving grab altogether. He survived on grandma’s savings which is already almost used up by him since none of us give her allowance anymore.

June, my grandma was hospitalized and on her deathbed, she requested us (my mother, brother and I) to help out my uncle as much as we can, especially to provide for our little boy cousin. We honestly have enough of my uncle already especially after he stopped working.

Grandma willed everything to my uncle, but he refused to pay a cent for her funeral

My uncle inherited everything from my grandma but refused to pay a single cent for her funeral.

Fine, again, we paid for a simple funeral and then gave him a sum of 3K (20% was from the jewelries grandma left for her. she only kept a cheap jade bangle as momento. The rest, we unwillingly top it up together with her.) and told him never to look for us for money again.

Called and said he got no money, ask us help him take care of his children

Not surprising, he called my mother a few months later, claiming he has no money and have to take care of his 2 kids. He wish we can help him.

Mother turned him down but hesitated. My brother have stated he will not chip in anymore as he have his own family, and will be welcoming his 2nd child soon. I know in the end my mother gave my uncle money and during CNY, she gave a lot of angbao money to the kids.

Useless uncle refused to work, only depend on wife’s hawker assistant salary

The problem is, my uncle is reluctant to work hard for his kids. He just work part time on and off, depending on his wife who worked in a hawker stall. He had asked for money thrice already after CNY. My mother just kept giving him.

Recently I think the wife gave up on him already and left with the daughter. If I were the mother, I also will just bring the daughter.

The son is so spoilt by my uncle that he has no respect for his mother and will hit his sister whenever she made him unhappy.

The daughter’s needs is also always sacrificed for the son. But I really wonder how she can get the daughter a Vietnamese citizenship but that’s beside the point.

Wants to throw his son for us to care, on pretext that he needs to find a FT job

Now, now, my uncle is hinting us to help babysit his son while he “look for a full time job”. He will work hard blah blah blah but that’s what he always say! Like forever promise to work hard but always end up asking for money.

My mother turned him down because she is not ready to quit her job just to babysit his child. But my mother hesitated when my uncle go all pity and guilt tripping her. I have to step in and tell my uncle to apply for subsidies and send his son to childcare or go to social welfare.

I did say something nasty like don’t be a beggar and kept trying to guilt trip us. If he is so desperate, he can sell his flat and downgrade or rent a room out.

And he stomp off angry when some neighbors looked out of the units. I guess my mother was shocked I said those things. But at the same time she agree with what I said.

Came back to ask for help again and gave a lot of excuses

Uncle didn’t come to us for a whole week but then he started coming back again, stating nobody wants to rent his room and the economy is bad blah blah.

He cannot work because he must take care of his son etc. I offer to help him look for tenant as I have friends who work as property agent but he is wishy washy about that.

Tbh, the location of his flat is good and many people will be willing to rent or buy if he is not picky. I also recommended him a job as PT cleaner which he only need to work a few hours a day (flexible) and pay is reasonable.

But he just came up with many excuses like what if he ended work late and misses his son’s pickup time. Work a few hours enough to cover transport fees or not!? Blah.

I honestly feel he is just trying to get us to babysit free for him! or worst, he might just run away leaving us with his kid. I really think he is capable of that!

I am really afraid my mother might go soft again if he continues. I know he has been calling and texting her daily. I WFH 2-3 days a week, he waited at the void deck for my mum to go home so I won’t be there to chase him off.

I know in the end it’s my mum’s choice but it will be my brother and I who will have to “foot the bill”. Since we’re the ones giving the money (allowance) once she stop working. (I don’t think my uncle will ever pay us, we have to be grateful if he doesn’t even run away!)

We definitely want to support our mother BUT not some freeloader’s kid.

Stuck studying and waiting for time to pass

I have one more year to graduate, feeling stuck because I have to work hard now and waiting for the time to graduate and feeling like I have to keep working hard to be the same as my peers even if i may be burnt out.

Want to start working as soon as possible because of finances

Also bc of family and financial issues I want to start working asap. And I am also worried that studying this degree was not a good choice.

I feel like I’m not treasuring this moment in life well but it’s also tough.

I’ve had friends who have had to drop out of school to take a job and provide for their families. Others have had to take on part-time work to supplement their family’s income while still trying to finish their education.

It’s an incredibly difficult situation to be in, and it’s no wonder that many students like me are desperate to finish their education early.

For those who are able to find a way to make their education and employment balance, there can still be challenges.

Many students are unable to work full-time due to their studies, and this can be a huge financial burden on the family.

It can be difficult to find the energy and motivation to keep going when you know that your family is struggling to make ends meet.

I encouraged my husband to pursue his career overseas for better opportunities which was before COVID. I always believed if a man wants to cheat, he will do so whether he is near or far away from the wife.

Friends warned that my husband might cheat, but I was confident

My husband has good track record (as far as I am aware) and trust was the reason why I even allowed him to work overseas. My friends warned me but I was confident of myself, of him and the foundation of our marriage.

Things were ok and he came back regularly pre COVID and I thought we were managing long distance very well. He brings more money home and comparatively lower expenses (rental and education are expensive if we moved) with us staying in SG and then COVID struck.

Life won’t be so smooth to let you have everything. When you have one thing, you lose something else too. Like one commenter mentioned, minds can wander when you are alone in foreign land, especially COVID days when people feel helpless, isolated and thus fall to temptation.

I agree to a certain extent but I feel that cannot be an excuse because I remained faithful during the days when he was not around and I was a single parent for the past few years.

Then I checked his phone and realised he was cheating

I accidentally found out about my husband’s trails on his Google search and history of webpages he visited.

I was shocked to see what he was searching over weeks and it’s definitely an affair going on. I was in a dilemma to confront or not.

I was totally heartbroken, cried many nights, lost weight and cannot understand why he can do that to me. His betrayal was a big blow to me, a failure of me and my marriage.

Given my character, I cannot let this go without knowing the truth. I got myself prepared with divorce advice from lawyers i.e asset distribution, appropriate grounds for divorce (adultery is very hard to prove so don’t bother), how to have better chance on child custody, work out how much monthly support to get from him for the children to be prepared for the worst.

He apologised and wanted to make amends

Eventually I confronted him (with more evidence) and truth always hurts. My husband admitted he made a mistake and promised to make up for it. I think it’s important that a man has the courage to admit his mistake and he did not blame others for it.

It was a very tough time and I underwent marriage counselling to help myself and to know how to go on. Counselling helped me reflect that the relationship probably weakened over the years when we were apart and COVID exacerbated our problems.

Maybe I neglected his needs both emotionally as I was busy with kids and work, and also physical needs were impossible to fulfill even I want to.

On one hand it was my kids as they are close to the father and I do not want my children to grow up with a broken family; and I still love my husband very much and the other was struggling with my pride, the heartbreak, the loss of trust and I did consider to divorce him just to punish and make him regret his actions.

Know what you want and your priorities are important. Also ask yourself, after knowing the truth, can you forgive and continue the relationship? If you will forgive, is it then necessary to confront?

He is no longer working overseas and we are working towards mending this relationship. He remains a caring father to the children. I am sharing my story with you and others who may be going through the same thing. To share with you that this won’t be an easy path.

On one hand, you are afraid of being betrayed again and on the other hand, you want to give him, the marriage and your children a second chance to make things better. I choose the latter.

It takes two to rebuild: for him to be honest and admit he made the mistake and really make effort to do things that can help mend the relationship and for me to show him that I can still trust him.

To this day, we never mentioned about it ever since then. Once buried, don’t ever dig it out to talk about it again. If it’s one sided effort, it’s only a matter of time that the marriage is over.

If possible, marriage counselling for both may be good before things get out of hand i.e literally having a mistress/family out there.

In any case, get yourself really prepared for the worst i.e to walk out of this marriage before confrontation.

When you are prepared to lose it all, you have a better chance for the outcome you want. I wish you all the best.

I have never been the type to take advice from a fortune-teller, but when my friends dared me to go to one for fun and ask about my love life, I thought why not.

I mean, it’s not like I was taking it seriously, right? So, I decided to go to this old fortune-teller and asked him what he saw in my future love life.

He told me that I am like honey which attract bees, implying that many guys will come to me

He seemed to take my request seriously and closed his eyes for a few moments before opening them again. He said, “You are like honey, and there will be many bees that will be attracted to you.”

I thought it was an interesting analogy and I couldn’t help but smile.

Fast-forward two years, and I am still single. I haven’t had any luck in the dating game and I’m starting to think that the fortune-teller was wrong.

I mean, shouldn’t I have been surrounded by a swarm of bees by now? Where were they?

I started to doubt the fortune-teller’s words and started to wonder if it was all just a joke. Maybe he was just trying to be funny and I was taking it too seriously. That must have been it.

But then again, I started to think that maybe the fortune-teller was right and the bees were just taking their time. Perhaps they were getting ready to swarm around me and I just hadn’t noticed yet.

Either way, I was still single and it was starting to affect my confidence. I was starting to think that maybe I was unlovable and that I would never find someone who would love me. I started to doubt myself and my self-esteem started to suffer.

I wish I had never gone to that fortune-teller. I thought it would be fun, but it only made me feel worse. I was still single and I had no clue when that would change.

I was beginning to think that I was doomed to be alone forever.

It was the worst moment of my life when my girlfriend threw away my Xbox and PlayStation 5. As if that wasn’t enough, she refused to compensate me for my losses. I had invested a lot of money in both these gaming consoles and they were not replaceable (limited edition Xbox, and PS5 stock in SG is almost cannot find one).

It all started when my girlfriend started to get attention-seeking behavior.

I was in a relationship with her for almost two years, and during this time I had always been very supportive of her. I always gave her the attention she needed, and I was always there for her whenever she needed help. But it seemed like she always wanted more.

She started to become increasingly jealous, and she would often accuse me of talking to other girls. This was never true, but it didn’t stop her from getting angry and throwing things around.

One day, she threw my Xbox and PlayStation 5 out of our bedroom window. This was the last straw.

I was absolutely devastated. I had spent a lot of money on both these consoles and I didn’t have the money to replace them. I asked her to compensate me for my losses, but she refused. She said that it was my fault for not giving her enough attention.

At this point, I had had enough. I told her that if she wasn’t going to compensate me for my losses, then I didn’t want to be in a relationship with her anymore. I broke up with her, and I kicked her out of my home.

It’s been almost a year since then, and I still haven’t been able to get over the loss of my Xbox and PlayStation 5. I had invested a lot of money in them.

It’s unfortunate that my relationship ended the way it did, but it was the best decision I could have made.

My ex-girlfriend is still trying to get my attention, but I’m not falling for it. I’ve learned my lesson, and I’m not going to let anyone take advantage of me like that again. I’m still angry about what happened, but I’m trying to move on and focus on the positive aspects of my life.

It’s sad to see how someone can be so selfish and take away something that’s so precious to you.

I was devastated when my wife, She told me her boss had molested her. I was so angry and couldn’t believe that someone would do something like this to her. I wanted to confront him and make sure he never did this to anyone ever again, but she begged me to stay quiet because she needed the money.

She had been working for her boss for a few months and had been hoping to get a promotion. She thought he had been helping her to do so, and she trusted him. Then one day, he asked her to stay late to finish a project and when they were alone, he started to touch her inappropriately.

She was so scared and felt powerless, she didn’t know what to do. She wanted to tell me, but she was worried that if she did, her boss would fire her and she would lose her job. She needed the money, but she also felt violated and didn’t want to be in the same room as him ever again.

After I heard what had happened, I wanted to go and confront him but She begged me not to. She knew that if I did, it could put her job in jeopardy and she would be unable to provide for our family. I tried to explain to her that she didn’t deserve to be treated like this and that there were other ways she could make money, but she was too scared and felt like she had no other choice.

So we decided that she would stay in the job and I would do everything I could to protect her. I kept an eye on her boss and made sure he never had a chance to be alone with her. I also made sure to be around when she was working late and I even got a job at the same company so that I could be there for her.

At the same time, I was looking for other ways for us to make money. I started a side business and worked extra hours so that we could make ends meet without She having to depend on her job.

It was hard work but it was worth it if it meant that she would be safe and not have to be subjected to her boss’s inappropriate behavior.

Finally, after a few months, she was able to quit her job and move on to a better one. We were both relieved and grateful that she was able to get out of that situation. I am so proud of her for standing up for herself and finding a way to make ends meet without having to put up with her boss’s behavior.

I used to love dating. It was an opportunity to get to know someone new, see if I had chemistry with them, and potentially move on to the next stage in our relationship. But that was before I realized that every girl I went out with wanted to go to the fanciest restaurant in town, and I had to pay for it all.

Its not because limbei no money.

It all started about a year ago. I had been talking to this one girl for a few weeks, and we hit it off pretty quickly. We decided to go on a date, so I suggested a nice restaurant that I knew was reasonably priced. She quickly shot me down and said she wanted to go to the fanciest restaurant in town. I was hesitant, but I’m a bit of a romantic, so I agreed.

When we got to the restaurant, I was immediately taken aback. The prices were outrageous—just one appetizer was over $20. I had to bite my tongue and allow her to order whatever she wanted. I was already feeling uncomfortable, but it only got worse when the bill came. I had expected to pay for my own food, but she had ordered enough to feed a small army. I ended up paying close to $270 for dinner that night.

Needless to say, I was a bit put off. I had expected to have a nice dinner, not break the bank. I decided to give it another chance, though, and went on another date with a different girl a few weeks later. The same thing happened—she wanted to go to the fanciest restaurant in town, and I ended up paying a hefty bill.

I started to realize that this was a pattern. Every girl I went out with wanted to go to the fanciest restaurant in town, and I had to pay for it all. I was fed up and decided to stop dating altogether.

I still think about the girls I went on dates with, and how much money I wasted on those dinners. It’s a shame, because I really enjoyed getting to know them. But I don’t regret my decision to stop dating—I was getting tired of constantly having to pay for fancy dinners.

I also feel like I’m saving money now. I don’t have to worry about having to pay for extravagant meals anymore, and I can use that money for more important things. And I don’t have to deal with the stress of trying to find a girl who doesn’t want to go to the fanciest restaurant in town.

I still enjoy going out with my friends and meeting new people, but I’m not interested in dating anymore.

I was coming home from the gym after an exhausting workout and feeling pretty proud of myself. I had worked hard, pushed my limits and was eager to collapse into bed for a well deserved rest. Then I saw her. My girlfriend was on the couch, the TV was on, but she was not watching it.

She was sniffing my gym clothes.

I had to do a double take to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. But sure enough, my girlfriend was there, with my sweaty gym clothes in her hands and her nose buried in them. I was so shocked that I couldn’t move. I just stood there, watching her as she inhaled deeply, like she was smelling a bouquet of roses.

Finally, I snapped out of my trance and cleared my throat. She jumped, dropping the clothes and turning to face me. I could see the guilt in her eyes, and I knew she was embarrassed to get caught. I was embarrassed too, not only because she was sniffing my gym clothes but because I had this weird feeling that I was invading her private moment.

Before I could say anything, she spoke up. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know it’s weird but I just love the smell of your sweaty gym clothes. It’s like . . . breathing in the essence of you.”

I had to admit, it was a pretty romantic sentiment. But I was still confused. I mean, why did she feel the need to sniff my gym clothes?

My girlfriend explained that she loves the feeling of being close to me, even when I’m not around. She said that when she sniffs my gym clothes, she can feel like she’s right there with me, feeling my energy and getting a sense of who I am.

At first, I was a bit taken aback. But then I started to think about it and realized that maybe she was onto something. After all, smell is one of the strongest senses we have, and it’s closely linked to memory and emotion. So maybe my girlfriend was trying to capture a piece of me and keep it with her.

I still wasn’t sure how I felt about my girlfriend sniffing my sweaty gym clothes, but I could understand why she was doing it. So I decided to let it go and just enjoy the moment.

After all, it’s moments like these that make relationships so special.

I have been in the army for about a year now and I have a very close friend in my bunk.

His name is “John” and he has been in the army for much longer than I have.

We have become very close and we are always up to something. I recently dared him to do something that I thought he would never do, and that was to shave off one of his eyebrows for $10.

John was a bit hesitant at first and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to do it or not. I told him that it would be fun and that it would be a good way to make some money. He wasn’t sure what to do but I kept egging him on and eventually he agreed to it.

I went and got my razor and shaving cream and I set up a chair for him in the middle of our bunk. Everyone else in the bunk gathered around to watch and they were all laughing and cheering him on.

I was a bit nervous because I didn’t know how he was going to react when he actually shaved off his eyebrow.

John sat down and I started to shave off his eyebrow. He was a bit hesitant at first but eventually, he got the hang of it and he was able to shave off the entire eyebrow. Everyone in the bunk was cheering and laughing and I could tell that he was a bit embarrassed.

But he wanted the money to buy cigarettes

When he finished, he looked in the mirror and he couldn’t believe what he had just done. He said that he felt like a different person and he was very proud of himself for going through with it. I gave him the $10 and we all laugh.

John has since grown back his eyebrow but he still remembers the time when I dared him to shave it off for $10.

I recently had the misfortune of paying to speak with a fortune teller. At first, I thought it might be a fun way to pass the time and perhaps get a glimpse of what was to come.

Little did I know, I was in for a rude awakening.

When I arrived at the fortune teller’s place of business, I was met with a flamboyant and colourful setup. There were signs advertising readings for “love”, “career”, and “spiritual guidance”. Thinking this would be a fun experience, I decided to take the plunge and booked my appointment.

When I sat down with the fortune teller, they asked me a series of questions about my life, my hopes and dreams, and my future. I answered as honestly as I could, feeling a bit silly but still confident that I was going to get some interesting insights.

But then the fortune teller began to give me their “reading”. It was the most generic and predictable advice I had ever heard. They kept repeating the same phrase over and over, telling me that I needed to take risks, follow my dreams, and believe in myself.

The man said his master is from China some ancient mountain turtle dono what

I was beginning to get frustrated. I had paid good money to hear something original and insightful, but instead I was just being fed a line of cliches. I asked the fortune teller to give me a specific example of how I could make my dreams a reality, but they simply shrugged and said I should just “believe in myself”.

At that point, I knew I had been scammed. I had paid good money to hear a fortune teller talk rubbish, and that’s exactly what I got. I realized that I had been taken for a ride and I was feeling pretty foolish.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this experience was not that uncommon. There are many people out there who think they can find answers in fortune tellers, and they pay good money to be told what they want to hear. It’s no different than the people who pay scammers to tell them they’re going to win the lottery or get a big inheritance.

In the end, I learned an important lesson. Fortune tellers are not a reliable source of information. They are simply people who are getting paid to tell people what they want to hear. They may have some interesting insights, but it’s important to remember that they’re not giving you any real advice.

So, if you ever find yourself tempted to go to a fortune teller, just remember that you’re likely paying them to talk rubbish. It’s better to take your hard earned money and invest it in something meaningful.