How do you guys afford dating in SG?

For backgrounds context, 23M in uni GF is 23 F full time working.

My gf have been keep asking me to buy her expensive stuff like Dior perfumes, LV bags etc. I have entertained her whims for quite a while. I have footed almost every bill when we have a date out. She always want to eat at those cafes that cost u 80-100 bucks per meal.

Although she didn’t really demand stuff like forcing me to buy etc, she will try to guilt trip me buy sending me all those articles, insta posts, tik tok and YT vids of how other boyfriends are spoiling their gfs with luxurious gifts and how they are treating them as queens by treating them to Hai Di Lao and stuff.

I mean I bought her a Mac before and treated her mookata and other buffet too. But everytime we go out for a date, I am the only one spending for both of us.

Is this normal? She will usually say it’s a guy’s job to treat the girl and foot ll the bills but I think it’s getting out of hand.

I came from a well to do family so.i.can afford more than other people but that doesn’t mean I have spend on everything right?

What are your thoughts and to those who are in rs, how do y’all cope?

I love her and I dw to say I don’t have money or dw to spend which will make me look bad and she might leave

EDIT: I suggested splitting the bill but she said it’s a turn off for her.

Netizens comments

1. Sounds like she’s using you instead
2. Depends on how hot she is, and if she is traditional, if she wants you to be traditional and pay for everything, she has to be traditional as well, stay home, cook for you, do chores etc.
3. I ain’t saying she a gold digger
   • Well I’ll say it then. She’s a gold digger.

Chatty girls outside bars

I’m visiting Singapore for the week. Walking down the road at the back of boat quay I get a lot of smiles and ‘hi’s from young girls in short dresses who are sat at tables outside bars. What’s their game?

I’ve just smiled, said hi back, and walked on without breaking stride as this is clearly scam territory. I’m just curious what they’re intentions are?

Is it simply to get you into the bar or is it more than that? I assume conversing with these ladies is going to lighten my back account significantly?

Had anyone fell for this and what happened?

Netizens’ comments

1. They’re hostesses working at the bars. A friend of mine (ahem) actually went there once before. He shared with me that one would have to pay $64 to buy the girls a drink after which they’ll sit and chat with you, and based on that one sample size visit, will also partake in cuddly-like actions that will release oxytocin in your body.
   • (OP) I assume that extra curricula wrestling wasn’t included in the $64 dollars?
2. The girls there indirectly pay to work at the bar, OP. One common variant is that they buy bottles at a discounted rate, but then get you to buy them drinks (from the bottles they own) at a higher rate. It’s one way to make a living. *Shrug*
3. Hostesses. Want to try get you in to drink together, i.e. buy overpriced drinks for them and their friends. Some (but not all) may also be prostitutes.
4. I worked at Boat Quay for close to 2 years and the whole stretch is a smoky, loud scam. If you want a good night out, walking 20 mins up the river to Robertson Quay is much calmer and more family-centric. Or if you want cheaper local food, Maxwell Market or Chinatown are less touty places for tourists to go to
5. If your pockets are deep enough you will be able to go all the way. Probably in the ballpark of $300-500

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a few months now and things have been going great. We’ve been having a lot of fun and getting to know each other better. But the other day, something happened that left us both a little bit shocked.

My girlfriend and I were in the shower together and she asked me to wash my penis. I thought it was a bit of an odd request, but I didn’t think too much of it and just did it. I figured she wanted to make sure I was keeping myself clean.

Cream Cheese

But then, after I had finished, she gasped and said “Oh my god, what is this?” She had noticed that I had a foreskin and that there was something white underneath it.

I was a little embarrassed and didn’t know what to say. I had no idea that I was supposed to be washing under my foreskin. I’d never heard of it before and it had never been explained to me.

My girlfriend was really shocked and asked me why I hadn’t been washing it. I tried to explain that I didn’t know I was supposed to, but she wasn’t convinced. She said that it was very important to keep the area clean and that I should have been washing it regularly.

When she pulled back the foreskin, she was even more shocked. Underneath was what she called “cream cheese”. She said it was a build-up of bacteria and dead skin cells that had accumulated over time.

I was mortified. How was I supposed to know that I was supposed to be washing under my foreskin? It had never been explained to me and I had no idea. I was embarrassed and my girlfriend was angry, but she said that it was important to keep this area clean and that she would help me do it in the future.

We both agreed that it was important to educate men on the importance of washing their genitals properly. I was so embarrassed that I had never been taught this before and I felt guilty for not knowing.

So, from that day on, I started washing my penis properly. I make sure to wash underneath my foreskin every time I shower and I always make sure to use a mild soap to avoid irritation.

It’s been a few months since that incident and my girlfriend and I are still together. We’re both glad that I’m now taking better care of my body and making sure I’m keeping myself clean.

It’s been an eye-opening experience for me and I’m glad that my girlfriend was there to help me understand the importance of proper hygiene. I would encourage any man to make sure they understand the importance of washing their genitals properly and to never be embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help if they don’t know.

Hey guys, need some advice. Here’s some backstory.

Boyfriend, let’s call him Joe, and I have been dating for around 6 months. I assume we both like each other quite a bit and I genuinely believe that he’s a good person.

At the very beginning of our relationship, 6 months ago, I saw Tinder on his phone while sitting next to him. I asked Joe why he uses Tinder and his answer was to meet new people. At the moment, I dropped it but later on, during a conversation on the topic, I told him it bothers me and he apologized, saying he understands and that he will delete it.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, It came to my attention that he follows random girls on Instagram. Because of Joe’s past use of dating apps, I brought it up and he said he just follows random girls on suggested because he thinks they’re attractive. Okay, not so suspicious but I kept this in the back of my mind. Sometime later, I noticed on Joe’s Playstore that Tinder and OkCupid had been downloaded and deleted. FYI, I saw this because we use each other’s phones and I needed to download an application on his phone. He denied using it and explained that he doesn’t know why that happened. In the meanwhile, he is still following random girls on IG.

I was not convinced, and one day, while he was sleeping, I looked through his application download history. To my surprise, I saw at least 10-15 ‘dating apps’ and the likes download then deleted through various intervals since June. I told Joe and he initially denied it, then confessed telling me that the reason why he uses such apps is that he thinks that adult videos is ‘too fake’ and that he uses these sex/dating apps to look at women’s photos or videos to PCC/beat the aeroplane. I asked him if he talked to any of these girls, he said no. After later ‘questioning’ he also claims to have talked to around 10 girls. I checked out these apps and the girls are like amateur ‘cam girls’ who get paid in coins or whatever. But I do know that he has chatted with real girls in our city from regular dating apps like Tinder or OkCupid.

Joe expressed his guilt and apologized. He said he knows it’s wrong but that it’s like an addiction and he has unsuccessfully tried stopping before. This issue was discussed for 2-3 days. At times, he would freak out or get angry. Claiming that I should forgive him because he immediately forgave me for kissing my female friend when I was drunk a while back. Telling me he knows what he did is wrong but that “It’s not that big of a deal and I don’t think it’s cheating. So I can’t understand why you can’t forgive me?” Backstory on me kissing a girl, as soon as I remembered, I told him what happened the next morning. I’m bisexual and we had discussed the idea of me fooling around with women before.

I don’t think Joe actually met up with any of these women.

My biggest problem is that this is a long-term thought out lie. If Joe was honest with me about this, it could have been discussed and solved. Now my head is fucked. I really like him but my trust is broken.

I’m not sure how to proceed and honestly, I’m just looking for some outside opinions and insight. What are your thoughts? What should I do? What would you do in this situation?

Thanks.

We’ve been together ~3 years and it has been incredible. We have told ourselves we want to spend the rest of our lives together and we’ve been living together for a year and a half.

For the past year though I’ve been questioning everything and especially for around 3 months I’ve been seriously unhappy and struggling to find enough reasons to stay with her.

The dilemma comes from the fact that the girl I knew when we met for the first time and for the first 2 years is not the same as what she’s been like for a while now. I’d happily spend my life and make an amazing family with that girl, wherever she went. The issues are basically:

– She studies law and stresses over it too much, while her classmates put in minimal effort and get higher grades

– She has no self-confidence despite my efforts to boost it DAILY. She thanks me, she appreciates what I do for her and say to her but she keeps on hating her looks and smarts (she’s a 10/10 hottie and way more intelligent than most people our age I know)

– A consequence of the above issue – she has barely any social media presence, posting twice a year, which in my opinion contributes to her having confidence issues and she won’t go out of her bubble

– She sees herself as her 15-year0old self, having been constantly ridiculed for being chubby and other reasons kids/teens make fun of others for. This makes it so that she puts every single interaction through that prism and can’t come to terms with the fact that she has become a wonderful woman in her 20s with her chubbiness!

– My “love language” is hugging, kissing, just 24/7 touching, while hers is gift-giving and acts of service so I don’t receive what I give out and she prefers small gifts to hugs and whatever and I suppose this is a big incompatibility

– Her libido went from high to almost nonexistent, while mine has consistently remained high as hell. I don’t make her get intimate when she doesn’t want it of course and I keep waiting for her to initiate because I’ve tried too many times and failed. I crave intimacy, yet she pushes even that away, despite me not wanting it to lead to “erhem” most of the time – I always want ample foreplay but we can’t even get to that point at all anymore

– She’s in a constant state of not knowing what the hell is happening around her, she’s very uncoordinated and this is true for conversations as well – despite her amazing sense of humor she gets too nervous and anxious when we’re with other people and she says stupid/banal stuff and can’t participate well in most flows of conversation at parties/etc.

A lot of these issues she says are due to the stress from university and I get that, but she barely studies throughout the semester and she crams 10-day 24/7 study sessions before exams in which she is in a nonstop crisis and then somehow her knowledge doesn’t get appreciated and she gets lower marks than her dumber colleagues.

I’ve communicated my issues and she says she hates that she’s like this, but she says I just need to wait until things get more calm in her life until she can be the confident, sunny, strong woman she was…. but in my opinion her life is TOO calm and she’s just using the university as an excuse.

Since her constant crises with whatever prevents us from living normal early-20s lives and I’m the only one who makes money in the relationship (she doesn’t work because of uni, although if she worked part-time or even full-time – she’d still have enough time for studying because she crams it in the evening anyway and does nothing all day)

I’m feeling unhappy, unloved, unfulfilled. I would never cheat, but I’ve been having these intrusive thoughts about girls who have what my GF is lacking in terms of confidence, freedom to do anything and LIVE life, healthy social life and etc.

I have reached the point where I am tempted, what should I do.