I (24M) am witnessing cheating in my workplace. My colleague (29F) is cheating her husband (30M). Her husband is an acquaintance

Relevant background about me – I(24M) have joined my first job in a big tech company. New to the corporate ecosystem. It’s been around 6 months here.

Recently I found out, My colleague(29F, recently married (8months)) is having an extramarital affair in the workplace.

I’ve met her husband(30M) a couple of times and he is a nice and innocent guy. I feel bad for him. I thought of tipping him off about the situation.

Then I came across a post where a similar situation was being discussed. People over there were ridiculing the OP and telling him to mind his own business. This made me wonder if I should let it go and mind my own business or let her husband know.

I don’t know how to feel about this situation. Please guide me if this is normal in the workplace and if I should mind my own business as it doesn’t concern me. Also, if I let him know about this, what would be the consequences?

Ps. I’ve met her husband a couple of times. My perception of him was formed during those meetups.

Netizens’ comments

1. I personally was a little angry at my bfs coworkers when they all knew about his cheating then wanted to “feel sorry for me” when I found out. I had talked to them before and thought we were acquaintances as well. Apparently not.
   Tell him anonymously. He won’t know it’s you. She won’t know it’s you. And you won’t have him mad at everyone when he finds out. Tell him sooner than later.
2. Dude, would you want someone to let you know if you were being cheated on? If yes, please let the man know.
3. It would be nice to tell the husband. He should know. But go in knowing this has a high probability of messing with your career. If you tell him be prepared for that.

Fired for something that should’ve been a minor warning, found a job that paid 20k more

As the title states .. I was fired for breaking some tooling on a machine. Something that could’ve been an easy warning but for some budgetary reasons I was let go.

One of the worst parts about this job, and the reason I wasn’t too hurt about being let go was the owner. He micromanaged everything and if you didn’t do it his way, you were wrong.

(Even if he was wrong in the first place) to their credit they didn’t say it was a malicious thing.

Cue looking for work and only getting a single response. Literally.. only one place called me back.

Did the interview process, they sent me an offer letter and I nearly fainted. 20k more than I was making at my last job.

I didn’t believe it was real but .. I was applying to jobs that I knew I was qualified for and not just anything that was out there and landed this one.

And working there has been awesome, salary position.. very little micromanaging, no single owner that has to have his way .. it’s dam near perfect.

Netizens’ comments

1. This should be a wake up call for a lot of people here.
   Quit settling for the pay you have and look for something better.
2. You could send your former boss a Thank You card with a copy of the offer letter (company info redacted) inside.
   “Hey [Ex-boss], thanks for letting me go. My new boss is better anyway and so’s the job.”
3. I’m glad it worked out well for you! Wish you well in your new position.
4. Most jobs have a dollar amount on things you can break. For example, there is a difference between hitting another car’s side mirror and completely rear-ending them, although both are considered accidents.

Hi everyone, I really need some advice on how to cope with working hours. Ok, so abit of context.

Im from SG and graduated here. However, I moved overseas to a Nordic country to work for several years and just moved back here and I simply cannot cope with the much harsher working conditions back home.

Here’s some fact about my previous employment:

– My income is approx SGD$13000-ish when converted (but do not be fooled into thinking thats high because taxes are 46% here and the cost of living here is much much higher)

So even though Ill be taking a 5k pay cut if I move back, after taxes and CPF, I’m still better off in Singapore.

I had no problems finding a job here because it is an industry Singapore is just starting to venture into and thus, most companies lack experienced workers in said field whereas my country of employment has had decades of experience with it.

Now here’s the problem. I have to start at 8.30am and I realised that I’m only going home at 7+pm and I even have to come back on weekends! I know this sounds normal to most people but it really is not for me. Technically speaking, this would be my first employment in SG so I’m telling myself things will get better once I’m used to the lifestyle back home (after all I freaking lived and studied my entire life here) but I really can’t. Its just too big a jump.

Previously, my working hours were from 8.30am to 4.30pm with a 1.5 hour lunch/nap break in between and we are mandated by law to be provided with a minimum of 24 weekdays of paid leave per year (which companies are required to extend to a minimum of 25 days after 5 years of employment). Here the leave I get is barely enough for me to get a break!

So I’m asking how do I cope with the working hours here? Will I get better with time? because I truly feel MISERABLE working here. Maybe I just became weak after working in a country with good labour laws.

Here are what netizens think:

• verything is about opportunity costs. When you said pay is better off, you aren’t really better off in this way. Bcos in terms of time, work arrangements, you’ll need to do more. So by getting a higher pay, lower taxes you’ll need to pay the opportunity costs of having longer work hours. Its now up to you if you want to sacrifice your time in return for money isn’t it? Happiness vs Money vs Time. Which is your priority in life?  in any case there’s always trade offs.

• Given the high and extremely progressive income tax in Nordic countries, it is rational for them to take more leisure and less work.Given the low and less progressive income tax in Singapore, it is rational for us to take less leisure and more work.Its all about making rational decisions for the people in both countries.

• Well, I work for a Nordic company in Singapore and I also have experience working overseas hence understand what you are saying.Work life balance is supposedly better in Nordic companies (Swedish/Finnish/Danish). But still if based in Singapore, you need to manage your expectations to put in more. You cannot expect to get paid better and yet expect the same benefits. It doesn’t work that way.Manage your expectations, or otherwise, you need to go back to where you were. Singaporeans are known to be resilient in adversity. Give yourself some time, and I’m sure you will slowly get used to be home

Getting furious with my husband over how messy he left the kitchen counter and then exploding when he pointed out how “messy” I made the bathroom?

Last night my husband went out, drinking with his friends and got home at like 1 AM and decided to make himself a frozen pizza.

When I got up, it literally look like a bomb had gone off in the kitchen. I worked about 60 hours this week and as soon as I got home, I clean the kitchen because tomorrow I’m hosting my family for my dad’s birthday.

Even though my husband was hung over, I roasted him out of bed and was livid at what a mess he made. I don’t think I’ve been that mad at him in a very, very long time.

I can admit that he was hung over and probably not thinking straight, but when he said that before, I start yelling at him over, what a mess he made over the kitchen counter, I need to take a look at the bathroom counter because he can’t even and I “take a shit in there in the morning” without stepping over stuff.

I lost it.

Not only because the bathroom is messy because it takes me forever to to get ready in the mornings but the bathroom is my space.

That’s how he needs to look at it. It’s my place where I get to do what I want and be as free as I want and if it becomes a mess then, so what, no big deal.

We spent the better part of the morning yelling at each other and finally he told me he was too hung over to deal with us and he was going over to his brothers house and not to expect him home for my dad‘s birthday.

I’ve been angry texting him all afternoon and finally responded that if I don’t understand why I’m in the wrong for starting this whole thing, then I need to really “check myself.”

What is the basic standard of living for you?

Recently there have been a lot of noise in the social media space discussing about income and the standard of living in Singapore. Every other day you’d see street interviews conducted asking folks on how much they’re earning and if it’s sufficient to survive in Singapore.

Some argue that a salary of $5000 is not enough to survive in Singapore and you cannot even meet the basic standard of living, while another group argues that $5000 is sufficient if you choose to live a simple and modest lifestyle. There’s also another group who are earning $3000 and is able to live happily but one earning $8000 thinks that he is just scraping by.

Caveat: Understand that there are other factors into play such as single income breadwinner in a family of 4 vs a single man living with his parents.

But from your POV, what does the BASIC standard of living mean to you and do you think what you’re earning is enough to sustain it?

Netizens’ comments

1. As your income goes higher and higher nothing will ever be enough, for you at least. Your desires and basic wants change. At 23, you’re content with MRT+bus commute while at 35 you need a car, due to changing social situations (like getting a family), jobs and income. Forget that maslow’s hierarchy; really this is just a natural change in financial and social position.
   Many of my older people in my social circle even after they rake in 5 digit salary, they still live like they’re on 3k. For my peers who take in 3k, they live like on 1k.
   For high-income earners, I invite you to look back and see how you lived life when you had a fraction of your current pay; you’ll be shocked to find out how good you yourself are/were in saving!
2. Single man living with family.
   Basic standard of living for me is to have enough money to pay my bills (Phone bill and Online subscriptions (Disney+, Netflix, Amazon, HBOGO)), groceries, public transport and a monthly outing at a restaurant with my family.
   For me, overseas trip even to SEA countries is not a priority. I see it as a luxury cos travelling stresses me out lol. As for car, I don’t want to own one.
   So far my previous pay of 3.1k is more than enough for me and I’m happy with it.
3. Basic standard of living
   – Walk into hawker centre, eat anything without thinking the price (on average, most stalls. Less solo chill crab etc.
   – Go home take bus/mrt/walk usually. Once in a while take grab won’t feel too pain.
   – Groceries all buy basics, will catch discount items 30-40% of the time.
   – Still can pay utility bills.
   – Still manage to save 20% of income to investment. We all know that you won’t survive in retirement life with just CPF.
4. For me it’s simple:
   – As long as I have a house, a bed, water supply and electricity I have my safety needs fulfilled.
   – Enough to buy groceries or food which can cover 3 square meals.
   – Able to go out once or twice a week to enjoy myself. Yes money will be spent but as long as I can spend it then it’s fine.
   – Able to splurge on something once or twice a month. Whether it be expensive ice cream or a shirt as long as it makes me happy.
   – About 1-3 friends to keep me happy.
   Idk what is the minimum to keep this standard of living but $2500-$3000 a month should be enough I guess.
5. Unpopular opinion: a basic standard of living should also include mortgage/rent and savings. Housing costs are something that most will be paying for some time so it’s important to factor them in your calculations so that you are not living paycheck to paycheck.
   Keeping that in mind, 5k is probably comfortable for an average lifestyle for a single person, without having to scrimp or budget too much (can stay in a hdb that is not too small, go for holidays, eat at restaurants etc.). For a comfortable life with some luxuries e.g. condo, car for yourself (not shared by two or more people), the number is probably closer to 10k.
   I think the biggest determinant of how much is enough comes down to how many people you are supporting on your salary. A single person earning 5k a month may have more to play with than someone who earns 20k but is the sole breadwinner supporting 5 people.

A woman shared how her husband wiped out his savings to buy a luxury car and told her that it was to reward himself, she then questions the need to make such a buy when they are trying for a baby.

Here is the story:

“I’m so angry that my husband bought a luxury car and wiped out his savings in the process, and it’s going to be a lot out of our pocket every month.

We still have our joint savings that he didn’t touch, but I just felt like he was too impulsive.

I asked him if he ever considered that he wouldn’t be able to pay off the rest, and he asked why I was such a pessimist.

He explained that it’s something to reward himself, to push himself to work harder, and it’s probably the one and only chance in a long while before he buys something for himself since we are trying for a baby.

To be fair to him, he is always very generous to his family and friends, and has the mindset that money can always be earned back.

But I can’t stomach the fact that he willingly made such a huge purchase just like that, and the thing is he only drives probably less than 5 times a month as he doesn’t drive to work.

I just feel like the money can be put to much better use like investments and other stuff???”

Editor’s note: This is going to be one of those “oh I wish I hadn’t done that” moments a few years down the road.

I need serious intellectual advise here.

I bought my partner a box of condom consist of 12 pieces in it as my partner kept complaining each time we are doing it there’s an bad odor. Which I thought it would helped. But it didn’t, and my partner did not like the feel of using condoms during the intercourse. So in totality 4 pieces were used out of 12 during this whole phrase.

Moving forward, as couples we tend to have quarrels and arguments. So happened that when I was at my partner’s place, I asked casually where are the condoms that I purchased, my partner replied due to the arguments that we had, it was thrown away.

Subsequently, a few months later passed, I was searching for something and chanced upon the exact condom box kept in a table drawer which was not used frequently and I realized the balance pieces are only left with 6pieces. I have yet exposed or confronted my partner about it till now.

Now tell me, what would you advise or do if you’re in my position?

Here are what netizens think:

• Poke tiny holes in it and soak it in chilli pepper oil. In time the truth shall surface…

• The correct question is how many times your partner has been doing it without a condom.

• Leave him since he lied to u that he never use, somemore on someone else

• Maybe he used it on others to see if the bad odor was present.Maybe he wore it for fun.

• Never trust a person who lie if you confirmed is the same box.

• He makes animal air balloon out of it

• Maybe He chew it like bubblegum

• Buy a new box in case not enough for next runs.

• You should turn out all the lights and ask if he’s got a flashlight.

Noticed boyfriend/fiancé has a habit of glancing at girls back and forth multiple times whenever we are out together.

It’s quite apparent till the other girl has noticed, so it’s not discreet anymore?

Broached the topic of how it’s made me uncomfortable and embarrassed for 4 times this year already, and he kept explaining in his POV, he’s just looking at a general direction…

This makes me feel like he’s denying what he did and he told me to nudge him whenever I feel uncomfortable.

Am tired of this act cus it feels insensitive and disrespectful. And he’s denial makes me feel like he’s invalidating my feelings.

He tells me I should’ve told him immediately and nudge him if I feel like he’s making me uncomfortable. Honestly it makes me feel almost like I need to smack my pet in public when it’s misbehaving???

And it becomes my fault that I didn’t tell him or stop his behavior???

Does he get a serotonin high when he does it??

Madly disappointed. Why does he keep doing it and I’m getting tired I don’t know if this is a lost cause