GF’s international family have said that they’ll never accept our relationship, even though they’ve never met me. Looking for advice

My partner and I met in Feb 2020, right as the pandemic was kicking off. We instantly clicked – we had so much in common, it just felt natural. We spent our lockdown pretty much living together, in a new relationship, and everything was perfect. We knew it was meant to be really quick.

Partner had to return to her home country in August 2020 for a wedding, and the border closed behind her. We have been trying to get her back ever since while continuing our relationship long distance. Not even distance could get in the way – we are still completely obsessed with each other and are absolutely adamant that we want to spend our lives together. It’s been 506 days and counting long distances.

Last week, we finally got her flight booked to return. However, today I randomly got a message from her brother (I’ve never really spoken directly to her family due to the language barrier) saying that they will never accept our relationship and that they will never accept a relationship where the partner isn’t from their home country.

GF and I are absolutely adamant that we want to spend our lives together – her family’s approval is obviously incredibly important, but it’s not more important to me than our relationship, and her happiness.

How do I approach this? I’ve made it clear that I’m willing to earn their approval, but they won’t even come to the table. Any and all advice is appreciated.

Here are what netizens think:

• Right now work on your own relationship and being together. Make that your focus for now since you have been apart from each other. You have time to deal with her family. Just work right now getting together and going forward.

• Hey. I grew up in a family where this was the case. My dad’s mother gave him an ultimatum and he went to spend his life w/ his wife (my mom) instead of prioritizing his mother and her wishes. As a result I’ve never met my dad’s side of the family.

• Your best response to this is living well. Become successful and take great care of your partner, and leave them behind you.

A netizen shared how she is addicted to pain meds.

Here is the story:

“Not really sure of where to start. I’m 23 and I’ve been addicted to really strong painkillers since I was 12.

My mum first gave me them when I was 12 when I had my first period and was dealing with a lot of pain.

The pills give me this euphoric feeling about half an hour after taking them. This feeling lasts about 45mins to an hour but after that feeling wears off I go into the worst mood.

I can always feel myself coming down from the high and I become tired and angry. Then it’s another waiting four hours before I can take more.

It’s the only thing I look forward too everyday. I’ve been quite sick from them lately (nausea, headaches, dizziness and hot flushes).

I have managed to come off of them once before for 6 months but I injured myself and ended up being given the same pain killers in hospital which restarted my addiction.

I’ve been to a therapist for it but it didn’t really help. My doctors have no issue giving them to me even though they are aware of my addiction.

The last time I tried to come off of them I couldn’t take the anger and miserable feeling of knowing I have no high to look forward too.

I forgot to mention the reason I think I’m addicted to pain killers is because I’m already on antidepressants and anti anxiety pills.

I guess my plan is to come off of pain meds eventually but I’m not sure what will give me the same high safely. No one knows about it and it is awful.”

Editor’s note: PLEASE speak to someone about this, talk to a psychiatrist.

This happened about a year ago. My husband and I were married for 6 years. We had some issues while married including frequent business trips, not doing any chores while home, expecting that I would cook something for every meal while also working full time. Just generally lacking empathy or affection

He died while away on a trip in a car accident. They gave us all of his belongings and it took me a few months just to want to have a look through them. To settle his property we needed to find out where he kept his money. All the accounts I knew didn’t have as much money as I thought we should. I looked through his work phone to see if there was any bank accounts I didn’t know about, just to realise they were full of pics with his ex. I didn’t want to look, but had to. His business trips were all to see her. There were messages from when we first met each other till today. Even during the wedding he messaged her saying he hoped it would be her next to him. My entire marriage was a sham.

I talked to the husband of the girl and showed him all of this, almost as an act of revenge.

A year later, I still go to therapy, attempted suicide once and can’t trust anyone, possibly ever.

Here are what netizens think:

• First, sorry to hear, I can’t imagine your pain. Second, remember, how other people view or treat you does not define who you are or your self worth. Don’t penalize yourself for other people’s fault. Hope you continue your therapy and believe in that one day, someone will recognize your worth and treat you with respect.

• I hope you learn better ways to process your emotions about all of this, and come to understand that you are not at fault. “Other people’s behaviors are a reflection of themselves.” What your husband did was a reflection of him, not you.

• I’ve gotten a lot of comfort and support from strangers in the past during some of the worst moments of my life. A good person doesn’t have to be somebody you know. I’ve had unbiased strangers help me put things into perspective or simply been kind enough to listen until I felt better. I’ve paid it forward and helped strangers get back on their emotional feet in the past, as well. And then we part ways.

The world has changed much in the last 20 years, after stepping into the age of digitalization many older formats of films have become outdated and eventually disappeared from our lives.

A man met an elderly uncle at a coffee shop when he was drinking beer and the uncle asked where can he watch RA films as there are no more R cinemas in Singapore or illegal DVD.

Here is the story:

I was drinking with my friend at a coffee shop in Hougang and an uncle who wanted to share the table sat down.

Shortly after drinking, the uncle strikes up a conversation with me asking the usual stuff “I work what, do what, married already or not etc”. He started to ask me about my mobile phone and ask about the stuff it can do.

He seem hesitant at first and he finally broke the question, he asked if I know the last time Chinatown got the special cinema, I told him that I knew about it but I had never been to it.

He then asked me where people watch those kinds of films as there are no more illegal Pasar Malam DVD stalls, he said that the phone can do much more than just call but he does not know how to get access to those films.

He took out an old Xiao Mi phone and asked if his phone is capable or he has to change a new phone. I told him his phone can definitely do it. He then asked me how to do it. So I taught him how to surf the net.

He immediately called the beer auntie and treated us to another 3 bottles of beer, he then thank me before leaving.

Haha, we know he confirm chop stamp heading home to explore the newly found “treasure trove”

9 years ago I clogged the toilet with a massive poop and humiliated an innocent girl by letting her take the blame

I was 18 years old, my friend lived in a student flat and there were about 10 people around drinking and having a good time. I ended up briefly leaving to go to the shops to get some cigarettes and other bits and pieces but stopped on the way out to take a poop. The poop was huge, 9 years later it was still the biggest poop I’ve ever seen and when I tried to flush it away it clogged the waste pipe and formed a water-tight seal so the bowl just filled up. Since there was no water flowing out the toilet it wasn’t loud enough for anyone in the other room to hear me flush over the sounds of the music and conversation.

I quickly washed my hands and left to go to the shop. When I returned I just let myself back in the room and kept quiet about the poop. About 10 or so minutes later a girl called Emily left the room to go to the bathroom, my heart was pounding. She was in there an unusually long time and when she returned she announced that the toilet was clogged, a bunch of people stood up to have a look and they were howling with laughter at how disgustingly big this poop was.

Obviously, it didnt take long before people were questioning who was responsible for this disgusting display and someone jokingly (yet seriously) said to the girl “you’re the only one who’s been in there in like an hour”. Someone else followed by saying “yeah, I went in before you and I only had a piss, john knows, he was standing outside”. It was perfect, I was actually getting away with this. Nobody knew that I used the toilet before leaving the flat. Another person said “you were in there for like 10 minutes”, she responded by saying she was on her phone and even though it was most likely the truth, it just sounded like a poor excuse. She was obviously getting upset and in her humiliated state tried to bargain by saying “it probably came back up through the pipes”, people burst out laughing. Oh Jesus she really dug her grave with that comment.

It was incredible, even though she was totally innocent, people already built evidence that she was responsible for the monster poop. SHE was the last to use the bathroom, SHE was in there for 10 minutes, the person before her claimed they had a piss into an un-clogged toilet and even had a witness to back up their story. It was a closed case, if this was a court of law she would be found guilty. People were convinced she did it and there I was, the actual perpetrator standing there quietly feeling a strange mix of guilt and relief.

Everyone was a bit drunk so it’s no surprise people were being a bit nasty about it, mocking her, laughing at her. There were a few people laughing so hard they were in tears. It didnt take long before she burst into tears and left. She was always known as “the girl who clogged the toilet with a massive poop”. We didnt see her at all after that, she avoided us completely.

I purposefully spilled a giant glass of wine on my mother at my brother’s wedding

Last month, my brother got married to the woman he has spent the last 7 years of his life with. My sister-in-law is a wonderful woman and I am more than happy for the two of them.

Well, my mother being the venomous demon she is decided that one of the most important days in her oldest child’s life MUST be made about her in some way. She showed up in an incredibly frilly white bridal dress.

Her dress was much more of a bridal dress than the brides that day as well. She was the talk of the whole event, for all the wrong reasons I mind you.

My brother didn’t even know if she would show up after a previous meltdown of hers, but he didn’t even know what to do when he walked down the aisle to see her sitting in the front row. My SIL looked livid as well when she saw her.

At the lunch afterward, things only got worse and I knew my mother was going to ruin this day. So, I decided to take one for the team.

We were served glasses of red wine at lunch, and I asked for mine to be filled to the brim. I walked over to where my mother was sitting and “tripped,” dousing her perfect white dress.

I nearly got on my knees groveling to apologize and she missed the lunch and much of the first half of the reception driving back home (4 hour round trip) to change into the dress my brother had originally bought for her.

Lucky for me, no one cared but my mother. The maid of honor even ended up slipping me a text right after the scene telling me that I deserve an Oscar for my performance.

I didn’t plan on coming on the internet to brag about destroying a bridal dress and causing a scene at my brother’s wedding. But I just received a bottle of red wine from my SIL with a card saying “Enjoy the best bottle of wine I could find, for the best wedding gift you could have given us.”

My mom told me the guy I’m seeing is “too hot” for me and she’s “positive” he’s seeing many woman because I’m “too fat” to score him

She told me this about a week ago and it’s been eating away at me every day. Like not in the sense that I believe what she’s saying but because she said it.

Who in the world speaks to their child like that?!

For reference though, I’m 26yo and I have put on some weight since quarantine and haven’t really tried to lose any of it.

The guy I’m seeing is 34 and very fit. He’s actually my ex from many years ago and we rekindled almost a year ago. I never talk to my mom about my dating life for this exact reason.

Ever since I was a kid she body shamed me and would tell me how she wouldn’t want to be seen with me because I embarrassed her.

She’s always told me I’m not a real girl, and I’m not a pretty one and she only will claim her pretty daughters.

Last week she was throwing low blows at me saying I don’t date, I’m going to die alone if I don’t find someone to date, and that I need to hit the treadmill so I can find a husband.

I told her there was no need because I’m already seeing someone. She didn’t believe me so I showed her his pics and she REALLY didn’t believe me after that. She told me I’m either lying or that he’s just using me and has 7 other pretty girlfriends who aren’t fat like me.

I wanted so bad to just break down when she said that but instead I just walked away from her. I guess I really just came here to vent but holy crap I’ve been feeling so down about this lately.

I just pooped myself at work and I don’t know how to face anyone at work anymore.

I just had the worst thing ever.. I pooped myself at work. It was so bad. I was able to get to the bathroom but I didn’t make it to the toilet.

It was so bad. I had to throw my underwear away and my pants in the bag. Had to clean the toilet seat.

I want to cry. My husband works with me and he was able to get a blanket from our car for me and to get me out of there and go home but I am so so freaking embarrassed

I literally want to quit my job. I am so afraid of being known as the girl who pooped herself at work. I want to throw up and cry.

My anxiety is through the roof right now. I know I didn’t get out unscathed. I know people saw it, smelled it or something.

I am curled up in a blanket after coming home and showering and I am sinking into a huge panic attack. I don’t want to be known as the girl who pooped herself. oh my god.

Edit: it’s my husband and my’s 10 year anniversary today. He keeps thanking me for pooping myself so we can go home early on our anniversary lmao

Netizens’ comments

1. If you are a nice person and people at work like you they will just be concerned and hope you’re okay.
   If you are a jerk, only then do you have to worry about being known as the girl who pooped herself at work lol
2. If I worked with them I’d feel bad for them and know how it feels to have done that. Unless they were a jerk to me or something then I’d suggest they were full of it so bad it began to leak.
3. All you need is to let it get around that you had a stomach bug. Everyone can understand that. I know you feel embarrassed but I assure you no one will really care.
4. Honestly, i don’t think they’d really care.
5. I know right now the anxiety has a hold on you, but keep a few things in mind:
   •Every single person in that office poops.
   •People really don’t care that much.
   •Literally, sh-t happens. Sometimes people have stomach trouble and…sh-t happens. Big whoop. Breaking news: Human bodies not always perfect. Again, people don’t care that much.
   •If you can laugh at it it takes its power away. It’s kind of funny, right? If you can put aside any possible “embarrassment”…it’s kinda funny. It’s a story you can tell someday.

I wish I had a boyfriend to sleep with all the time.

I’m always in the mood and my libido is very high, and I wish I had a boyfriend that I could just call up and let him know how much I want him.

Yeah FWB are cool, but they’re not always available and they usually have other sides pieces.

The thought of exclusivity with one person excites me so much. Being myself with no filter around a partner is such a turn on.

I would do anything to pleasure my partner. I’d give him the gawk gawk 5000. I want him to be hard in me while being soft with me.

Hopefully I find him soon.

Edit: My main point is that I don’t want meaningless one night stands with a FWB or a fling. I want the ethereal connection that comes with being in love with a significant other.

Yeah I can get the physical touch from temporary hook up, but never the intimate connection.

I want to have hard hair pulling passionate love making sessions as I caress his face and look into his eyes while we release our souls and merge them into one.

I want him to slap, bite, choke me and f my brains out, while he tells me how much he loves me whole heartedly.

With that said, I’m not interested in getting f-ed by any of you. I can get it anywhere, but not the love that I yearn for.

Netizens’ comments

1. RIP your inbox, lol
2. Oh no baby what is you doing? RIP your inbox.
3. May god bless your inbox, and good luck with your wishes ig
4. Just wish I had a girlfriend in general
5. This is the default mode for many guys who wants a girlfriend but can’t get one. ”Funny” to hear that girls can get stuck there too

Im boring because im poor

About a week ago i was hanging out with a friend. We haven’t seen each other in like 3 years. We were catching up and she asked me about my life.

A lot has changed. Rather a lot has stopped happening. When we were hanging regularly we were always hitting the town or some party or something.

Now I just work and go home because it’s all i can afford to do. When i told her all i do is work and go home she said “Wow! Are you becoming boring?”

We laughed. It wasn’t meant to be a dig. I didn’t think anything of it till i realized today everyday since then at least once those words ring through my head.

Im becoming boring. I refused to believe something so silly could bother me but today i realized i kept thinking about it cause it does actually bother me.

I feel like ive been priced out of fun. Ive kinda always had that thought in the back of my head as my routine has been the same for the last 3 or so years.

I feel better not leaving the house cause i know i wont spend money that way. It seems like it costs money just to go outside these days.

I cant afford dinners or bars or movies or music events anymore so i just haven’t. I always say no to doing something cause the guilt of spending money i know i dont have outweighs any fun i could have at any given activity. Now i dont even get invited out anymore.

This is all silly. A silly reason to be bothered. Just wanted to get it off my chest.

Netizens’ comments

Yeah, I can relate to not really being able to do anything “fun”, at least outside my house. With bills and groceries, there isn’t much left. But I wouldn’t let that “boring” label stick to you, that’s just ridiculous. Are you living for yourself or someone else? Do you constantly want to think of the things you don’t have, rather than the things you can be grateful for?

Took me a long time to learn, that my life doesn’t revolve around other people. Sure, there are millionaires going on vacations, buying expensive crap, and living the good life, but that should not and does not affect me. You need to learn how to improve yourself and do things YOU enjoy. Okay, that’s fine, all your friends are doing these fun activities…and? So what. Enjoy the things you can do for free. You commented that you don’t like activities that can be done for free, but I heavily doubt that. You just need to do the things YOU enjoy, not some hiking, walking, dancing, or any other crap others suggest. That’s what THEY like.