I go lunch with my colleagues.

Initially, all of them were speaking English. However, after a while, they start talking in their own language. The worst part was that I was the odd one out.

Well, to be fair, I learned the language when I was really young so I can catch the drift. I am a junior so I dont dare to say anything. They do know that I can understand bits here and there but they still continue. Sometimes, I totally get lost and lose interest to the point, I just scroll my phone.

I know all the 4 main languages in bits and pieces – none of them fully mastered except maybe English. I am better at some while I am really bad at others.

I do speak to some colleagues in my or their mother tongue. However, due to my experience, if there are people who dont understand the language, I would switch to English immediately.

So I had a new colleague come in and he was struggling. I spoke to him in his mother tongue and to be clear, I was dicussing with him 1 on 1. However, my colleague came out of nowhere and hinted to use English. So I thought he realised how I must have felt because at least, I can understand a bit whereas he didn’t understand anything in my convo.

However, at the next lunch, he continued to do speak in their mother tongue.

I have experienced or seen other people experiencing similar things since young with every single group except English. It is kind of annoying. When I am part of the majority, I would ask everyone to speak in English. I feel powerless to do the same when I am a minority in the group.

I decided to take up classes to futher my learning in that language that I was weak in.

However, inside me, I dont feel comfortable trying to learn now. On one hand, yes, it is a skill and will let me converse with my friends better or better understand them or they might feel at ease conversing theirbmother tongue.

However, on the other hand, I feel like that it is just an excuse for them to continue this. I dont see them trying to learn about my culture or language the way I do. If I dont learn, I cannot understand what they are talking and it can affect my work as there are discussions which affects. If they dont learn any of the other languages, no loss to them.

I dont know if I am doing the right thing.

Not everyone is bad. There are people who are considerate in all groups but there are just very few of them unfortunately.

Hey hey,

My girlfriend of 6 years wants to have S under the stars, Are there any affordable places/resorts in south east asia that I can take her for birthday?

Here are what netizens think:

• Punggol 21 cc have a lot stars right.

• Carpark rooftop

• Aiyo. Easy la. Stick the glow-in-the-dark stars in the room. Can Liao. Job done!

• My house downstairs the open grass patch. My friends and I will be the stars watching you from level 30. It will really be sensational, S under the stars. We can even be the stars that guide you through the process. 

• Cruise ship take balcony suit, or you want go for cheaper option can just decorate your room with honey star.

• Let us know where eventually you are going in SG, and we could bring the camera crew along.

• Drive a open top pickup and drive to some remote place.

• Pangkor Laut. The bathroom is open concept, you can lie in the bath and see the stars.

• private villas in places like railay beach in krabi

• Can go to the roof top of any HDB MSCP. Free and under the stars. Pulau Ubin next to the old quarry also can. In the wild under the stars and a little sound of the waves and loud aircraft engine landing at Changi Airport.

• Midnight park with nobody passby usually, its a hint bro, she want something more excited

• Best is to try different places until you find the perfect place for you

• Bali glamping, many places under the stars but probably hot, humid and alot of mosqiitoes.

• Try Siloso Beach Resort Sentosa roof garden suite, it comes with an outdoor jacuzzi on the 2nd level within the room. Great for what your gf wanted. Enjoy !!!

• Bro under stars only… I have tried the beach, staircase, handicap toilets even construction sites….free cheap good and thrilling. I was even caught by the police while doing the deed. They let me go..

I just got married less than a few months ago. I accidentally saw some screenshots of a influencer on my husband’s phone. I confronted him about it, and he apologised saying that it is habitual. I forgave him and reminded him that he is now married with a wife. For context, we’ve been together almost 10 years before we got married.

Few days passed, and things went back to normal. But my gut feeling says no. I know it’s bad but i snooped his iphone gallery. I know i’m looking for trouble at this point but I just needed confirmation. The photos are no longer in his gallery, but it’s under the Hidden folder. My heart sank when i saw thousands and thousands of not only screenshots of influencers, but also sneaky photos he took of his friends who are girls.

Some butt pics, cleavage. Some of these girls, he went out with without my knowledge after I wished him goodnight, after cross checking the dates of these outings with our past messages. There were also photos of absolute strangers at the gym, on the plane which he sneakily took. While these photos were not recent (like within this year), it all happened within the course of our relationship.

I am very disappointed, hurt and disgusted. Now i am in a dilemma. Do i confront him about it even though it’s mainly in the past (except for the recent ones he screenshotted) and risk our marriage? Because I snooped around without his permission. Or do I close one eye and pretend everything is okay, but knowing he could likely do it again? It’s definitely going to cause trust issues between us both for both scenarios – i can’t trust him anymore with his predatory behaviour, and he can’t trust me coz of my snooping.

How do i go forward?

Here are what netizens think:

• He’s going to be the father of your children. Think hard lady. There’s no going back. People like this won’t stop even when they’re caught. You should collect evidence to his criminal act and report him to the authorities.

• Considering that he has done it through the course of your relationship, it is likely been going on even before the relationship started. With that, it is a dark secret that he has never told anyone and for that, there was no one who could stop and help him. That’s why even till today, he is still doing it. At this point, one he is doing isn’t cheating, though very close but more on addiction that has grown to such a point. We have to take into account that he still likely loves you, but he is also torn against an addiction that no one knows hence could not be prevented and it became the result of what you see today.

• I think that if you want him to come clean and change his ways, he has to. Make this changes himself. But to have that courage, the person he loves and trust must not judge him so harshly. You can be disappointed and angry. But if that is all you are going to give and he knows it, then be sure he will clam back into his shell. The first step is to finding ways to get him to confess his dark secret of his own. Since it has already be establish between you two in regards to his behaviour, try to speak to him as to why he is addicted to it in the first place. When he provides his answer (if he does), there should be a mix of understand, anger, sadness and love.

• Eh girl, which guy not tiko? You born yesterday ah. Even if he don’t keep he also go internet see. Everyday see your sour vege face he also need something fresh to maintain his composure in the relationship

Hi, I been feeling quite drained at work since months ago and have almost reached to one year of working at my current workplace. The thought of resigning has been occuring in my mind.

It does affects my mental health in some ways as I am not doing the work that I enjoy, don’t really enjoy the whole company culture/environment and not being treated respectable by clients/colleagues as they deemed that I am not meeting their expectation consistently which I do felt uncomfortable of the vibes from them. I do not have much support from my team as well as this is mainly a solo position posted to the client site.

However the thing is, I would have a bonus (~10k+) at the year end but I would require to stay on for few months, which adds up to around 6 more months to endure (*counting from current month).

Would you suggest if I should find another job (for the sake of not wasting more time on not doing something not considered as growth in career learning/enjoy in it & mental happiness state) or should I “force” myself to endure 6 more months just to entitle for the bonus payout..?

Thank you all.

Here are what netizens think:

• I left my gov job for a career change at Nov and forgo at least 3 months bonus at Dec and “potential” promotion next March. I used to love my job, and worked there for 9yrs! But the management was disappointing and I’ve spent roughly 3yrs on on-and-off job hunting. Back then I was married without kid but tied down by hdb mortgage. The uncertainty was scary, the way to unlearn n relearn was challenging, tbh I’ve cried several times questioning is it worth it. Now I’m earning more than before, upskilled, widened my horizon, better wlb and found myself a better boss. Find a better and happier version of urself, u urselves worth more than that 10k. 年轻就是本钱, it’s easier to start over if you don’t have more liabilities.

• I used to be like you being a year or two in a company and have this kind of thought. Im still at this company after more than 6yrs but had a different and more positive mindset. Its really up to you to decide for yourself.

• Why cannot use the 6 months to look for a job, Jiak the bonus then go? 

• It’s pretty hard to be fired or laid off. Just choosing to not be the A student in the room is a lot of reduced stress.Not saying that it’s about enduring, but you can quiet quit if the bonus is safe.

A netizen shared how she refused to let her boyfriend’s sisters and her friend sleep at her home because of her bad track record and it was late at night.

Here is the story:

Woke up to a call at 1am last night from my BF’s sister. I missed the call because I was super groggy and didn’t pick up in time.

She calls my BF, and asks if her and her friend can sleep at our place.

I told my boyfriend that I didn’t want them to come, it’s 1 am. We both have to be up at 5 am for work. We have two active puppies that get excited for company.

In the past when my BF’s sister has sleptover, the dogs barked all night. It’s not a good fit in my opinion for us to have company at the moment, just until we can set up a bedroom, or the puppies grow old enough to be calm.

On another note, I don’t trust the friend that would be crashing as well. She steals and she just is a impulsive person that really just thinks about herself.

I’ve been on a family vacation with her and she has zero respect for anyone else.

One night she was up at way past 3 am blasting music, and didn’t turn it down even though I asked her politely. I also wouldn’t feel comfortable with her being in my house, unattended, after my BF and I leave for work.

So, my BF told her no, and they ended the call.

He was really upset with me, and made the choice to call her back and say she could stay over. In that amount of time, she found a place to stay.

This morning he woke up and was upset with me. I explained all my reasons for not wanting them to stay over. I know I should be kind and help people, and if it was an emergency, without a doubt I would help.

But it was an impulsive thing and they have plenty of family and friends that she could ask for help.

I can’t have intercourse because it’s too painful. Any ideas on how or why?

So basically the title. I(18f) have been with my boyfriend(19m) for over a year and in the past few months we decided we’re ready to go to the next step and sleep with each other.

Prior to that we only kept to hand and mouth stuff. We are each other’s first, no prior experience for neither of us.

Here’s the deal tho, we tried doing it a few times (used protection, lube, set the mood, all that stuff) but whenever he is inserting inside me i can’t take more than let’s say 5 cm because it hurts TERRIBLY.

I wouldn’t say the cause is his member being too long or girthy (i’d say he’s packing around 15 cm to 17 cm?)

Is this normal? Should i go to a gyno to get checked up? What’s going on?

Netizens’ comments

1. This could be nerves that go away with time and foreplay. Either way, it’s good to get checked out just to eliminate concern
2. Yes, definitely have it checked out. Keep in mind that it stretches A LOT when giving birth, so you shouldn’t really feel that much pain when trying to have “use it”. Specially when you said everything else was fine. So yeah, have it looked at by a professional.
3. Definitely see your gyno. It could be you still have part of your hymen intact, and that’s causing your pain. If that’s the case, then it’s actually fairly common, and not too difficult to deal with, so don’t worry. It’s entirely possible it may be psychological, as well. Do you generally feel completely relaxed and comfortable? Or do you have any anxiety before or during?
4. Go see a gynecologist. That’s the only way to understand what’s causing pain.