All this talk about who pays on first dates… Aiya, here’s a summarized guide to end this discourse once and for all.

Regardless of who invites who,

Scenario A: The guy offers to pay for both.

– If the girl doesn’t offer and insist to pay for herself, then you know you dodged a bullet.

– If the girl allows you to pay but doesn’t treat you on a second date, or worse still, knowing that she doesn’t want to see you again, she still allows you to pay, then you know you dodged a huge bullet.

– If the girl allows you to pay, thanks you, and tells you she would treat you on a second date and backs it up with actions, she’s a keeper, don’t let her go.

Scenario B: Both people pays for their own part.

– If the girl looks and shows signs of displeasure or disinterest right after this happens, you know she’s expecting you to pay from the start. Bullet dodged, don’t ask her out again.

– If not, and if the girl follows up with an activity to do or a place to check out, then it’s alright, nothing spectacular, but nothing bad either.

Scenario C: The girl offers to pay for both.

– If this happens, as a decent human being, offer to pay for yourself, and insist on it. If she insists to pay for you, make sure to pay for the second date. You got a keeper, don’t let her go.

– If you let her pay without offering, then bro what you doing, you can do better. Not surprising if she doesn’t want to see you again after.

Flip the genders around for all scenarios, it applies regardless. No double standards.

Best way to handle things? Each person pays for themselves on the date, with no expectations to have a free treat whatsoever. If you want to impress the girl/guy by paying for them, then go ahead, but risk potentially getting taken advantaged of for a free meal, and your precious time and energy especially if you ask them out again.

At the end of the day, if the girl/guy likes you for who you are, there wouldn’t even be an expectation for you to pay for their meal, regardless of how cheap or expensive the meal is, or whoever invited who.

Would you be happy going on dates with self-entitled girls who expect you to pay for them? There’re better girls out there! (or guy if you’re a girl and like guys)

I was around 4-5 years old but it’s still something that I remember up till this day. My mom and I still talk about it.

My cousin was around 12 when he died. We all went to Mandai to attend his funeral services and also keep my aunt company because she was in mourning. From what I can remember, he only had the common flu, which led him to being hospitalized, eventually becoming paralyzed then unable to speak until he passed away.

My family and I lived at my aunts house for a little bit when my mom and dad were newlyweds. I was like 2-3 years old. My mom would tell me about how my cousin would always carry me around and how happy he was to because he always wanted a younger sibling.

I was too young to process his death.

Before his burial, my mom and I were in the guest bedroom, which had a sliding glass window that had these thin white curtains covering it. That window faced the corridor. I was sitting on the floor while my mom sat on the bed to comb my hair and style it. I was singing a commercial song over and over again, until I heard someone clapping enthusiastically outside in the corridor. I looked over to the sliding doors and I see my cousin, standing just outside. It looked like I was looking at him through a monitor.

I got excited to see him because he just looked so happy over my singing, I remember telling my mom “Mom! Jonathan’s outside, he keeps clapping!” I remember my mom just widening her eyes and picking me up then running us both out of the room LOL.

There was a lot of activity before and after his death. A couple of hours before he passed away, my dad and my aunt fell asleep at the hospital because they were keeping him company. My dad woke up then his pager started going off.

There was also my little brothers toy truck that you could ride around with that had buttons that made sounds when you push them that kept going off, even being spammed repeatedly. Random shadows would literally run at you then disappear. Things would get shoved off of surfaces with an intent to break. It got to the point that we didn’t think it was my cousin anymore. I remember me and my little brother huddled under a blanket, terrified while my parents yelled something along the lines of “Jonathan, you need to stop, youre scaring the children and now you’re starting to scare us too.”

That’s most of what I can remember from it but I will never forget what happened.

What would you consider not worth spending in SG. Discussion about everyday goods and services, not luxury items.

Finding inspiration, I wanna see what else people save on or how they justify their decisions. Here are mine,

Fast food – If its not something i really love I wont spend. $12 subway or burger meal, I rather order nasi padang until shiok.

Non-urgent cabbing – Public transport is so efficient its ridiculous to spend $30 on cab. I use the time spent on public transport for reading, planning, writing, gaming, anything that I can use phone for.

Online game products – One cosmetic skin can cost $10 to $100, even worse if its gacha mechanic. That amount I rather buy 2 new games on Nintendo Switch can play for whole year.

Netflix subscription – Do you really watch everyday? If you finished a series, why would u purposely force yourself to find another series to commit to just to justify your subscription? Its alot of wasted time. Youtube tiktok has great content too.

Netizens’ comments

1. I walked back from Orchard to AMK at midnight before, because I refused to spend on a cab. 😭
2. Ordering drinks when eating out – bring your own water.
3. Bottled Water – Free tap water everywhere, why buy bottled water? just bring your own bottle
4. Products that label themselves as “healthy” and “organic” though most of the time they ain’t healthier nor more organic compared to the normal stuff, but they cost 1.5-3x more.
   Overhyped cafes and restaurants as hype doesn’t change the taste of food or drinks
5. Am i the only one here who thinks that bread/pastries are getting expensive? Like one croissant can cost $5-$6 at cafes. I mean i find 4 leaves one of the more reasonable bakeries but some bakeries the pricing really quite ridiculous! I still buy bread tho but just needed to say it out!! Hahaha. My mum who learnt bread making completely stopped buying bread because she said buying 4 sausage bread from a bakery is literally the cost of making 15 – 18 of them.. Same with muffins!
6. Branded clothing, comfort has no difference for clothing
   A Gucci t shirt made out of cotton has the same comfort as Uniqlo n etc but it’ll cost you multiple times more
   Anyways, I live by this code “if you use that item everyday then splurge on it, but if you don’t then don’t bother” give you an example. A person who watches tv daily would enjoy the difference in high end specs such as oled etc
7. I may sound counter intuitive. But spend on quality food for lunch instead of cheaper options like Cai Png, chicken rice,etc.
   I eat Daily cut everyday and while at first glance it is expensive, I feel full, good and motivated when I eat it. The hawker centre food is often not enough and also not exactly healthy for the long term
8. Condo. Pay so much only to have to deal with politics and weird rules of MSCT, fight to use and book facilities, self-entitled neighbours, and for new launch/newer condos have to live with cookie cutter interiors/weird design decisions and pathetically cramped living space. Much more freedom and bespoke living with HDB.
9. Possibly an unpopular opinion, but spending $5-7 on barista coffee never made sense to me when $1.2 kopi-o kosong exists.
   And bubble tea is like paying to get diabetes.
10. In most cases it’s not worth buying pasta dishes outside. It’s super easy to make quick, tasty pasta at home.
11. Definitely 1) Clothing (including shoes) I prefer to buy during traveling or super sale. 2) Gaming – use to spend abt 500 on games monthly but has learned that it’s better to use on skin care. More benefits. 3) Food delivery- why spend that extra money. Prefer to walk and buy myself.

My(21F) partner(23M) just proposed and I’ve been planning on leaving the relationship prior to proposal…

My partner and I have been together for more than 3 years now. Our relationship has had some serious issues and had everything lined up to leave soon within the next few months unbeknownst to him.

He knows and is aware of our issues. He wants kids I don’t, we also haven’t been romantically involved in a while because I just don’t feel comfortable

idk if I’m not interested in any genders or if it’s just realizing we’re growing apart, and he’s very very controlling down to what I’m allowed to wear out and when I’m allowed to go out.

He proposed and I don’t want to just leave because I feel bad and don’t want to hurt his feelings even though I know it sadly will.

I also feel bad because he paid a lot for the ring and went out of his way for this big proposal so I felt bad to even say no.

I would’ve never thought he would’ve proposed because he never seemed like the type that wanted to get married and just with the issues we’ve been having.

I’ve thought about talking to him about an open relationship with boundaries since I’m not romantically comfortable and hoping that maybe he will find someone else that way.

Is there any way I can quietly/kindly get out of this? It’s making me very sad and depressed at this point. Thanks in advance!

Netizens’ comments

1. Have you ever thought that he could tell you both were growing apart and this was a way to try and control you and prevent you leaving ?
2. He wants kids, you don’t. Done deal.
   And never stay in a relationship out of pity and fear of hurting the other person – why would you submit yourself to such unhappiness for yourself?
   Relationships end, that’s not a bad thing, and in this instance, it’s really not. Rip off the band-aid, you have a whole life left to live, and you should live for yourself rather than for someone you’re not even compatible with
   Also, he knew you wanted to leave and made the decision to buy this ring and propose in some grand way? That’s hella manipulative.
3. You need to go ahead and hurt his feelings. You are way too worried about his. Put yourself first. Tell him it’s over and you are now broken up.

Ok so I am 35f and I am married to a 42m. We have friends that are also 42 and married. We will call them Ashley and Tommy.

We have known them 4 years. So I have known Tommy has a crush on me for a while because of his mannerisms. I just ignore it and avoid him.

But a few weeks ago he bumped into me and cupped one of my bewb in front of everybody at a party. But it was done in a way that looked accidental. It definitely wasn’t. There were a lot of people around so I didn’t blow up. But I gave him an evil death stare.

Later that night I told my husband. He said he couldn’t be sure what happened because he didn’t see it clearly but that if I said that’s what happened than he was happy to go have a “talk” with him.

I told him to not worry about it. That he was drunk and I mainly was concerned about my husband knowing.

Yesterday Tommy texted me about an upcoming event we had intended to all go to together. He said my husband wasn’t replying which to be fair, my husband is awful about replying during work hours.

But then Tommy kept trying to extend the conversation asking about life stuff. So I started withdrawing from it.

When out of the blue he texts me and says “so Im not going to lie I have the hots for you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I know you are lonely but if you want to come over I think we can both do each other a favor.”

I was disgusted honestly. I’m in no way attracted to him and what a dog. So I texted back “Tommy I am a happily married woman. Don’t ever text me again. If you need something you text my husband or have your wife text me. And if you ever do text me, I will show a screenshot of this conversation to both our spouses.”

He never replied.

So I feel like I shouldn’t tell my husband and friend because it destroys 2 families. Am I doing the right thing?

I got fired right after coming back from leave

A few days ago, after showing up at work after my leave, my manager informed me that the employer will be terminating my contract. Apparently, they used my absence as an opportunity to “review my work.”

Now, things weren’t exactly… pleasant at work as of late. I was hired in September last year, and shortly after my manager got replaced by a new hire.

Things were somewhat calm until April when the employer introduced new tools designed to “monitor productivity.”

During the Teams meeting, the higher-ups assured that those are purely for us, so that we can see how productive we are. Yeah… right.

What followed from April to September was a constant nagging by my manager over the smallest of things. Now, my productivity rates were always somewhat decent, but there was always something my manager would complain about. All of this, of course, contributed greatly to my stress levels and mental health.

I was really relieved when my scheduled holiday arrived. I would rest for the first two weeks of September and come back more motivated. And I did come back motivated.

Only to get greeted by a termination notice. Among reasons listed were “low work quality,” and the aforementioned “complaints” by my manager.

Frankly, this whole thing has been beyond degrading. I know my work was high quality because my manager chose me for various projects multiple times.

I did work that exceeded what was contractually required of me, not to mention unpaid additional tasks.

So yeah. F corporations lmao

Netizens’ comments

1. People realize that at will is a huge f u to the working class right. It is just an easy way for a job to dump you with no issue at all. They literally just wait for you to start working and then fire you
2. I hope your successor wildly underperforms and your former manager regrets the decision every day.
3. Were they…just…not reviewing work as you went? “Oh, the work’s done! Moving on! I’m sure it’s good, I won’t care to check until I want to fire you. I’m a good manager!”

I (30F) and my husband (30M) recently moved into this neighborhood at Punggol and we’re not loving it. The whole area gives off bad vibes tbh.

But we’re stuck here for a bit because of work so we’re sucking it up.

Anyways, our neighbors are.. interesting. They’re super religious and very uptight. They give off extreme classist vibes and are just fake all around. They have around 6 children and the youngest is a boy around the age of 13 or 14. Let’s call him James. My husband and I often hear James playing guitar almost everyday when his entire family is gone. We didn’t think much of it but he’s quite good.

Well, the other day, my husband was found out that James sneaks outside ur apartment and hides his guitar in our riser. We know it’s his guitar because the both of us can’t play instruments and we’ve seen the kid with the guitar

My husband was really upset. He said that the thought of someone opening our riser gave him the creeps and he didn’t want the kid to do it anymore. I agree(d) but I also felt bad for James. I suggested we talk to James while his family was out and I was also planning on telling James to hand us the guitar when he wanted to hide it instead of sneaking.

My husband got mad at this and said it wasn’t our responsibility to keep his guitar safe and that we needed to tell his parents so that they can keep him out of trouble.

We were still discussing what to do but I got an important call from work so our convo ended as I had to leave. I assumed we’d talk later but my husband immediately went to our neighbor’s house and told the parents what happened.

When I found out I was furious. Then it got worse when I noticed James crying in his backyard. I used to be that kid whose parents didn’t let her have any interests so I really felt for him. Ever since, I haven’t spoken to my husband unless it was regarding bills, food etc.

He’s calling me childish and petty which fine but he made a decision with no regards for my opinion or for what might happen to the kid. I ignored him which made him more upset. I told my best friend what happened and she told me that she doesn’t agree with his approach but I should stop with the silent treatment.

So I did but when I tried to talk about the situation with my husband, he said I needed to get over it. He’s getting the silent treatment again.

Strange Desires causing NS stress

I enlisted a few months ago as mono intake and I’m in combat unit stay-in.

I have started to have strange desires that are making me both guilty, shameful and creating awkwardness between me and my section.

I’m not sure if I am gay or have been gay all my life, but I didn’t really have these desires till I enlisted. I have always been effeminate but I didn’t realise my desires until I came to NS.

I often fantasize about my section mates being very forceful with me. I keep wondering how it will feel like if they force themselves on me, in fact the thought of them ganging up on me to force me to do acts on them turns me on a lot and some days I feel like I am going to explode if I don’t tell someone

It gets even darker, some days I fantasize about them tying me up and doing things to me. Our PC during BMT told us about all the bad tortures that went on during WW2 and instead of it being a motivation, I found the whole thing feed my fantasies thinking about it. Like during water parade I actually fantasize of them holding me down and forcing me to drink bottle after bottle until I want to puke.

I am worried I will stop being able to control myself and do inappropriate things which will make life really bad for everyone since we are supposed to work together as a section

I know you might think this is a joke or very weird but I think I have a problem and not sure who to turn to because I will be labelled gay or thrown in DB or something

Netizens’ comments

1. This is not what I expected lunchtime reading to be.
2. There are apps for you to use and meet guys to explore your desires. Best to go through NS smoothly without creating any trouble, do whatever you want OUT of camp.
3. Whatever you do please do not report any of this to the MO or MINDEF. They are not equipped to help you and they will not have your best interests at heart. See a private therapist instead.
4. On a serious note, I think it’s best that you inform a SAF counselor as soon as possible to make arrangements based on your… “needs” as it will only worsen with repression.

Ever Encounter Salesman Reply You This When You Say “I’ll think about it”

“哎呀不用想了“
”Aiya no need to think already” (Meaning to just buy)

My reply is “哦， 不用想就是不用买了“
“Oh, no need to think means no need to buy already”

Then I’ll just walk away.

Got encounter before? The fact that this has to be converse shows where I’m actually shopping at…. lolx.

Netizens’ comments

1. I no longer say anything, I just walk.
2. wedding shows the salesppl there will be like aiyo no need think la all same one -_-
3. Wedding show ppl are aggressive af. Got my sleeves tugged at and ppl trying to shove me into their booths. Got out of the place real fast!
4. My friend coincidentally has surname “thng”. So his natural response is “my surname is Thng. I really need to thng”. The salesman on the street usually left stumped or could only come up with the sir, just a moment….
5. Usually they will throw in a “time limited offer” which isn’t valid the moment you step out the door. So they will say “u come back another day don’t have this price already”. Which I’m not even concerned cos I’m not intending to come back.
6. Next time tell them “don’t want” instead of considering.
7. Can tell from the comments that they are not sales people. We are trained to deal with rejection handling and a no today can be a yes in the future. That’s why sales people are one of the highest paid people and don’t need degree. If you are an aspiring sales person and reading this comments scares you, don’t be one. You have to be strong in the mind, thick skin and ready for rejection all the time.
8. Those sales peoples are rats. Actually, worse, like vampires, they look you as a walking bag of money rather than as a human being, if they even consider you human. Worse than scum as Kakashi sensei would say.

As I looked into the mirror, I couldn’t help but smirk. I have always been proud of my looks and the attention I get from the ladies, and I am often told that I’m too handsome for my own good.

MONKEY DISEASE

But recently, I’ve started to feel like I’m in over my head. I can’t go out without being hit on by women, men, and even the occasional group of teenagers. And while it’s true that I love the attention, getting too much of it has started to take a toll on me.

I was always confident in my looks, but now I’m growing increasingly paranoid. I’m constantly worried that I’m going to catch something from all of these people who want to sleep with me. I’m sure you know what I mean- it’s the fear of getting a “disease” from someone who’s been with too many people.

It doesn’t help that I’m constantly asked if I’m single and available, even in public places like the grocery store or the gym. I’m sure you can understand why this can be unnerving.

I’ve considered taking a break from all the attention, but I’m just not sure how. I’m not sure if it’s even possible to turn down all the free “ons” I get from people. If I’m not careful, I could end up with a lot of unwanted baggage.

The truth is, I don’t want to be a walking disease carrier, but I’m not sure how to handle all the attention I get. I know I need to be more cautious and selective in who I choose to sleep with, but it’s hard to turn down someone who is clearly interested in me.

At the same time, I don’t want to be a prude and miss out on all the fun. I know I should practice safe sex, but I’m not sure if that’s enough to protect me from catching something. I’m not sure if I’m ready to take that risk.

The fact that I’m getting so much attention is both a blessing and a curse. I’m thankful for all the attention I get, but it’s also a bit overwhelming. I’m not sure how to handle it all without putting myself in danger.

I guess I’m just going to have to be more careful and selective in who I choose to sleep with. I’ll have to be more mindful of the risks and make sure I’m taking the necessary precautions. I don’t want to end up with a “disease” because I was too handsome for my own good.