I’m 31 been going on dates with a 32 y.o woman for a little over a month. We matched about two and a half months via online dating. I’m confused because I really like her, but it seems like she’s not fully comfortable with me and projects very reserved, somewhat standoffish body language when we’re together. We’ve kissed several times (haven’t made out or had the “special time” yet) and after Date 5 she reached for my hand and we walked together back to our cars. That’s as far as we’ve been physical.

Date 1: Coffee. Date 2: Dinner. Date 3: Came to my house to cook dinner together and watch a movie, but left after an hour due to “feeling sick.” Date 4: Lunch. Date 5: Dinner. Date 6: Her place to eat takeout and watch a movie.

During date 6 we sat on the couch together and shared a blanket, but her body language came off as distant and cold — like she wasn’t trying to get to close to me, but still sat close by me on the couch. I didn’t make a move as I’m not sure if she’s still uncomfortable or whatnot.

I’ve initiated all of the dates and we have an awesome time in person, I’m just wondering why she seems so reluctant towards me. I know she likes me, as she deleted her dating account to only focus on me. Is this just an instance where she’s very inexperienced and/or simply nervous around me or what? I’ve never experienced anything like this before.

Here are what netizens think:

• I’m a very awkward person and I give off a ‘don’t touch me vibe’ even when I don’t mean to. I come across as very stand-offish and it has more to do with unresolved childhood issues than it does inexperience or not liking a person.

• There could be lots of reasons as to why she’s coming across this way with you. The best thing you can do is talk to her about it. It may just take her a while to warm up or she may just have a low interest in physical touch. You’ll never know till you ask

• Hi I’m the same way, and this is the biggest problem in my dating life… 😕 I feel like I’m constantly “acting” just to try to show the interest I’m actually feeling.

Kinda feel violated by my GF

I’m 37(m) and I kinda feel like my gf violates me. When we get in arguments her way of getting out of it is to initiate intimate activities.

It has been getting worse and worse lately. We have been saving for a house for the last 6 months because I’m over this renting business.

This morning I noticed a charge from Gucci on our joint credit card for $863 bucks. Apparently, a clutch was more important than our future family home.

When I confronted her she began to grope me in an attempt to change the conversation. I informed her that I am withdrawing consent at the moment because I really wanted to talk.

She continued to push forward with unwelcomed touches. I know this sounds crazy coming from a man but it makes me feel cheap and violated.

Netizen’s comments

• Not cool… disrespecting your boundaries in a serious and harmful way. She sounds like she needs therapy (not being sarcastic)…you deserve better.

• They both need therapy. Him so he can heal from this and her so she can be taught that this isn’t okay.

• If this was gender reversed a lot of people would say he needs jail, not therapy. Not saying that as slight to you opinion, but an observation to the double standard. I agree. They both need help

I had a guy at a club ask me if I had ADHD because I didn’t “maintain proper eye contact with him while he’s speaking.”

He was dead serious. He then proceeded to go on a random rant about how he hates girls with BPD, and how his ex girlfriend had it.

This dude took my hand and raised it in the air, said “this is what girls with bpd do to you, they lift you up and love you to gain your trust…” then he dropped my hand, “and then they destroy you and manipulate you into hating yourself.”

I told him I bet he didn’t think I had BPD when he hit on me, his response was: “well I dated a girl with bpd so I know what your kind of people are like.”

I then told him I had a girlfriend and he straight up said “I don’t believe in that. I don’t believe in girls dating girls or guys dating guys.

I walked away lol. Talking to him felt like I was speaking to a sociopath. The level of entitlement was unreal.

To make things even worse, he went up to my friend later (assuming since his advancements didn’t work with me), and tried hitting things off with her.

She obviously turned him down for saying those things to me and he was genuinely confused. My friend asked him to step away because he was all up in her space, he responded by accusing her of having OCD because she’s “afraid of germs.”

In a rapidly changing property market, staying informed about the latest developments is crucial. Singapore has recently witnessed significant changes in its property regulations, with the Buyer’s Stamp Duty (BSD) and Additional Buyer’s Stamp Duty (ABSD) undergoing revisions in 2023. As a potential property buyer or investor, it’s essential to grasp the implications of these changes to make informed decisions regarding property investments. In this article, we will delve into the details of these measures and explore alternative investment options in light of these developments.

The Rising Costs of Property Ownership

Purchasing a property in Singapore has become more financially demanding due to recent cooling measures. Lower loan-to-value ratios and higher buyer stamp duties have increased the capital outlay required for property investment. Moreover, property ownership is often considered an illiquid asset, emphasizing the need for prudence and a thorough assessment of risks and returns.

Unstoppable Property Price Trends

Despite various cooling measures, inflation, and a doubling of mortgage interest rates in the previous year, the demand for homes in Singapore remains strong. This continued demand reflects the confidence of both Singaporeans and international investors in the country’s property market.

Buyer’s Stamp Duty (BSD) Changes

One significant change introduced on February 15, 2023, is the revision of the Buyer’s Stamp Duty (BSD). Under the new regulations, the portion of the value of residential properties exceeding $1.5 million but not exceeding $3 million will be taxed at a rate of 5%, while properties exceeding $3 million will face a tax rate of 6%, up from the previous rate of 4%.

For non-residential properties, the portion of the property value exceeding $1 million but not exceeding $1.5 million will be taxed at 4%, while properties exceeding $1.5 million will incur a tax rate of 5%, previously at 3%. While the increase in BSD may not significantly affect properties below $2 million, it becomes substantial for more luxurious properties.

Recent Cooling Measures Timeline

To put these changes into context, let’s take a brief look at the recent cooling measures:

1. September 2022: The government introduced measures to moderate housing demand for resale HDB flats and encourage responsible borrowing in light of rising interest rates. These measures included tightening the maximum loan limit for HDB loans and increasing TDSR and MSR calculations by 0.5 percentage points.
2. December 2021: Additional cooling measures raised ABSD rates, tightened the Total Debt Servicing Ratio (TDSR) threshold, and lowered the Loan-To-Value limit (LTV) for loans.
3. April 27, 2023: An additional round of cooling measures was announced, primarily focused on increasing the Additional Buyer’s Stamp Duty (ABSD). These revisions aimed to moderate investment demand and address the tight housing market for both owner-occupation and rental properties.

Impact on Investment Property Costs

When considering the purchase of an investment property, it’s essential to factor in the upfront costs associated with these measures. For example, for a $2.5 million property, the total upfront cost now amounts to $1,219,600, which includes BSD and ABSD. These costs can significantly affect an investor’s financial planning.

Rental Yield Considerations

If you are considering renting out an investment property, bear in mind that the current home loan rates, which are around 4%, may pose challenges for rental yields to surpass this threshold. Traditionally, rental yields in Singapore have been approximately 2.5 to 3%, unless rental rates experience a significant upward trend and remain elevated.

In conclusion, Singapore’s property market continues to evolve, with recent cooling measures impacting property ownership costs. As a potential buyer or investor, it’s crucial to adapt your strategies to these changes. Stay informed, assess your financial capabilities, and consider alternative investment avenues to make the most out of your investment decisions.

FAQs

1. What is the Buyer’s Stamp Duty (BSD)? The Buyer’s Stamp Duty (BSD) is a tax levied on property buyers in Singapore. The rate varies depending on the property’s value and type.
2. How have recent cooling measures affected property prices? Recent cooling measures have increased the upfront costs of property ownership, particularly for high-value properties. This may impact property prices in the market.
3. Are there alternative investment options for those deterred by rising property costs? Yes, there are alternative investment avenues such as stocks, bonds, and real estate investment trusts (REITs) that allow investors to participate in the property market without owning physical property.
4. What is the purpose of cooling measures in Singapore’s property market? Cooling measures are implemented to regulate property demand, stabilize prices, and ensure responsible borrowing in the real estate sector.
5. How can investors adapt to the changing property market conditions? Investors should stay informed about regulatory changes, assess their financial capacity, and explore alternative investments to diversify their portfolios.

It’s a stupid thing to ask I know. But my mom’s been an important person in my life and I’m not sure if perhaps I overreacted. I (26m) met my soon-to-be wife Amy (25f) 7 years ago and she has an 11 months old son(Jason) and she broke up with his dad already. I love Jason as my own son and that’s how I see him.

He calls his dad “Dad/Daddy” and me “Pa.” My mom didn’t like the idea of me being with someone who already had a kid with someone else. We fought about that during the first 2 years of the relationship until I threatened to stop talking if she doesn’t accept Amy and Jason in my life. So she let it go and didn’t bring it up ever again.

I proposed 4 months ago. We’re supposed to get married in March. My mon offered to pay for half of the wedding and we accepted. The issue was my mom saying Jason shouldn’t be at the wedding because it would be just as weird as if her ex was there. We were both confused by that logic. Jason’s a huge part of our lives, it’s our wedding so of course he’s gonna be part of it. That was a hard no from both of us.

She tried to bring it up more times until finally she pulled the “I’m paying for your wedding so I’m allowed to decide ” card. That’s the part that got me the most. Is she wanted to use the fact that she’s helping to pay to keep our 8 year old from being there at our wedding. I paid her back the money she gave us for the wedding and told her she’s also not invited. Now she keeps calling crying that I’m her only son and it would be heartless keeping her from being part of this huge milestone in her life.

To her it’s not the same if Jason missed it because he’s a kid not a parent. My family is on my side about her going too far wanting to exclude my son but they do think I’m a bad son if she’s not invited since I already gave her the money back so she has no say in anything. I’m just so mad about it and don’t wanna see her after she tried to control things like that.

Did I do the right thing?

Here are what netizens think:

your mother is acting like a monster to a literal child. Hope she kicks the bucket soon, why would you want such a nasty and hateful person anywhere near your son or your future wife on such an important day? You did the right thing.

My first thought was I would never let her watch my child. If she acts like that to their face, imagine how she would treat him when it’s just her. I’m not suggesting she would physically abuse him, but he definitely wouldn’t enjoy being around her.

He is not and will not be safe around her. She cannot be allowed in his airspace at all, ever. She will do irretrievable harm. Please hear me.

A netizen shared how her husband doesn’t care about her birthday, despite all she does for him on his birthday.

Here is the story:

“My husband didn’t forget my birthday, he just didn’t care.

For his birthdays, I ask him what kind of cake he’d like and either pick it up or make it. I make sure he has time with his friends, I make reservations at restaurants (or during pandemic, pick up his favorite sandwiches or pizzas), I get the beers he likes, presents, and I keep the kids for the whole day so he has time to have be with his friends or play video games.

This year, he said “happy birthday” at 10 am and I solo-parented from 7 am to 11 pm like I do most days. He didn’t forget, he just didn’t care.

Some people seem to think I want some grand affair. The bare minimum would have been fine, and yes he knows I want some recognition for my birthday. He just didn’t do it. I wanted to get it off my chest before talking to him about it because what he doesn’t deserve is a bunch of verbal insults yelled at him in the heat of the moment just because I’m mad.

Also, it doesn’t matter at all what someone else would or would not want for their birthday; I wanted him to show me he cared and he didn’t, and that hurt. I don’t care if you don’t care about your birthday.

We talked and he claimed not to know I felt this way. I told him yes, he did know and he said “Yeah, I guess I’m just tired.” And that was it. I’m going out with my friends this weekend and having a bonfire in their backyard. Whether he comes or not is up to him.”

Editor’s note: Try ignoring his birthday, let him have a taste.

A while ago, my friend brought up that she had seen my boyfriend on Tinder, which obviously was cause for concern. This wasn’t the first time there had been hints of infidelity since I would see flirty texts and innuendo pop up on his phone all the time, but he would claim that they were jokes from friends. I haven’t been able to confirm nor deny this statement, that they’re jokes from friends, but it’s still questionable.

When I asked him why he still had a Tinder profile, he said he just opened the app to check if his account was still there. This makes enough sense to me, except he also edited his bio and added more photos, so this wasn’t a quick check to see if his account was still being shown, in addition his account was still up even after so evidently he didn’t delete it.

A while later, when my friend said he’s still on, I asked him why he’s still using the app and he said to make friends, which seemed dubious to me. With that said, he hasn’t been on for the last few weeks, but I think that’s because he broke his phone, rather than because of my concerns.

Later, I had another friend he didn’t know essentially catfish him to see if he would respond and sure enough he did. And from my interpretation, the messages he sent were more than just friendly, with innuendo and everything.

I’ve already brought this all up before and he’s had excuses (the flirty texts are old and from friends, he opened the app to check, he’s just using it to make friends, etc) and through my posts, I’ve come to the conclusion to try and confront him one last time, see what he says.

But my most conclusive piece of evidence is the fact that I catfished him and I don’t know how to reveal that. I’ve already brought up the other pieces of evidence before, but I should’ve saved it all up and presented it at once because by doing it in small chunks, I allowed him to create little lies and time to think about an excuse. So I don’t know how to bring up the older pieces of evidence without coming across as really naggy.

I don’t want to just dump him without any explanation, but I also can’t think of a way to bring up that last piece of info without looking like a complete psycho. In addition, there was some glitch where my friend and I lost the Tinder chats so I don’t even have any screenshots to confront him with.

I’d like to have some evidence just so I can watch him squirm and also make it clear that I knew what was happening. I don’t know, maybe this way he won’t do it to someone else.

I’m posting this knowing I probably sound like the most ungrateful idiot right now and most people would love to live like this but… I hate it.

My husband comes from a wealthy family and is successful in his own right. He likes the “finer things” in life and his entire social circle are either wealthy themselves or have wealthy families funding their lives. We have a huge house, go on multiple vacations, I can buy whatever I want without worrying about the price and I get to be a SAHM.

Yet… I hate this lifestyle.

I grew up poor and seeing how I live now compared to my younger self doesn’t make me feel happy like I thought it would, it makes me feel sick. I see our son and how much my husband spoils him and I feel awful. I hate the house we live in and I miss the tiny home I grew up in. I dread going on vacation with his friends because I have to force an act while I silently cringe at a lot of what’s going on.

The only thing that I’m truly happy about is that my mother gets to live in a level of comfort I never thought I would be able to give her after everything she sacrificed for me growing up.

I find myself avoiding my husband and keeping to myself whenever he’s home and it makes me feel guilty. He does everything to try to make me happy and I don’t understand why I can’t be happy.

I’ve been struggling with this a lot recently and everyday it just gets worse.

We actually had a disagreement earlier today which is what prompted me to finally post this. This disagreement was over his friend being exposed for having a mistress and it made me think about if my behaviour is going to push him to get a mistress and that made me feel sad too.

I don’t know what to do about this or how to speak to him about any of it.

How do you tell your husband that you hate the life he has given you? How do people who suddenly have access to wealth after growing up poor adjust to this life?