My girlfriend “freebleeds” all over my apartment and I’m considering breaking up with her

I’m 24m and my gf is 22f. Several months ago she got into this new method of dealing with her periods called “freebleeding”. It’s basically where you don’t wear any pads or tampons (no menstrual products for that matter) and just let the blood flow wherever.

Initially when she told me about this I was kinda okay with it as long as she contained it in her underwear or layed on towels. But then I started noticing period stains here and there. On the couch, drops on the floor, even on the bedsheets. The stains started soaking into the mattress. I didn’t want to embarrass her so I didn’t say anything until the room started accumulating a very weird odor. She said she would start cleaning it but never did.

She started freebleeding into my boxers and when I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that she basically said all of her underwear was soaked and she didn’t have anything else. I’d had enough and told her I wanted her to wear pads or tampons again like an adult if she couldn’t contain her messes.

She said her cramps were less severe doing stuff this way and that she didn’t want to stop. Also said it was childish to act this way about some period stains. I told her it was disgusting and that blood is still a biohazard regardless of where it comes from.

She got offended, said I was calling her dirty and we started arguing. I gave her an ultimatum to use menstrual products or to get out of my apartment and we’d be done. She hasn’t talked to me since and I really don’t want to break up with her but I’m just so grossed out and can’t deal with the smell. Those boxers were high quality too.

I met her in Bangkok, on a business trip. She was a waitress at the hotel I was staying at, and I was instantly drawn to her smile. She had long black hair, almond-shaped eyes, and a slender figure. She spoke English well, and we had a lot in common. We exchanged phone numbers, and kept in touch after I returned to Singapore.We started dating online, and soon I was flying back to Bangkok every month to see her. She was sweet, caring, and fun. She made me feel alive, and I fell in love with her. I wanted to marry her, and bring her to Singapore with me. I knew it would not be easy, but I was ready to face any challenge for her.I proposed to her on our one-year anniversary, and she said yes. We were overjoyed, and started planning our wedding. We decided to have a traditional Thai wedding ceremony in Bangkok, followed by a civil registration in Singapore. We also had to apply for a long-term visit pass for her, so she could stay with me legally. We had to submit a lot of documents, such as our birth certificates, income statements, marriage certificate, and photos of us together. We also had to pay a fee, and wait for several months for the approval.We had our wedding in Bangkok, in a beautiful temple. She wore a silk dress and a gold crown, and I wore a white shirt and pants. We had a monk bless us, and we exchanged vows and rings. We also had a water blessing ceremony, where our relatives and friends poured water over our hands and wished us happiness. It was a wonderful day, and we were so happy.We flew to Singapore the next day, and registered our marriage at the Registry of Marriages. We also checked the status of her long-term visit pass, and found out that it was approved. We were relieved, and excited to start our new life together. We rented a small apartment in Woodlands, near my office. We bought some furniture, and decorated it with our photos and souvenirs. We also bought a car, and a laptop for her. We wanted to make her feel comfortable, and at home.We faced some challenges, of course. She had to adjust to a new culture, a new language, and a new environment. She missed her family and friends, and sometimes felt lonely and homesick. She also had to deal with some prejudice and stereotypes, from some people who thought she was a mail-order bride, or a gold-digger. She was hurt by their comments, and sometimes cried. I tried to comfort her, and reassure her that I loved her, and that she was not alone. I also introduced her to some of my friends and colleagues, who were supportive and friendly. I encouraged her to pursue her interests, and find some hobbies. She enrolled in a cooking class, and a yoga class. She also volunteered at a local animal shelter, and made some friends there. She gradually adapted to her new life, and became more confident and happy.We also had some joys, of course. We explored Singapore together, and visited many places, such as the Botanic Gardens, the Marina Bay Sands, and the Sentosa Island. We also traveled to other countries, such as Malaysia, Indonesia, and Vietnam. We enjoyed each other’s company, and had a lot of fun. We also celebrated our birthdays, anniversaries, and festivals, such as Chinese New Year, Songkran, and Christmas. We exchanged gifts, and expressed our love. We also planned to have a baby, and start a family. We were excited, and hopeful.We have been married for three years now, and we are still in love. We have our ups and downs, but we always support each other, and work things out. We respect each other’s culture, and learn from each other. We are happy, and grateful. We are a team, and we are a family. We are a Singaporean and a Thai, and we are proud of it.

how to unlove someone? we broke up in november last year. It was a short relationship (less than 6 months).

but i poured out my whole heart and invested in this rs. we both envisioned a future together.

but his effort for me started depleting towards the end. no matter how much i tried to be understanding, to love him, it was so one sided and I realised that there was no more love. i knew he just didn’t know how to break that news to me.

so I became the dumper not by choice, but the dumper that was left with no choice.

here we are in april 2022, i’m still not over it. i’ve busied myself, went no contact the minute we called it quits, so why am I still not over.

I believe he is already done and moving on. But why am I still so stuck. I can’t do this anymore. I hate feeling so much for someone who has moved on and clocked out of a rs.

Netizens’ comments

• Key is distraction. Go for a random meetup or gym/dance event. Like half of them are there to get distracted and to start again.

You can do it

• Maybe you have to come to terms and forgive yourself for giving yourself to someone undeserving of your love. It might be this tension that you are struggling with instead.

Put in another perspective, it is your emotional losses that hurt. It could be another person that failed you in a similar manner, but the act of giving your all to someone who failed to give it back is painful. This could be because you expended yourself willingly, and the cost was great, and you could be subconsciously blaming yourself for not perceiving better and making a poor choice on whom you chose to pour all your love on. Your ex could simply be a representation of your perceived poor judgement.

Maybe take some time to forgive yourself. Love is a risk, and maybe when we fully have our hearts broken might we know the true value of a healthy relationship when we encounter it. Maybe when you can accept this as part and parcel of love, might you able to forgive yourself, let him go and move on.

So, instead of unloving someone, start loving you instead. Take care!

This really creepy thing happened and we don’t know what to do. Can someone please give me advice

Hey guys, me and my girlfriend moved to a new apartment at the beginning of this year. We are both very sceptical about ghosts/paranormal activities etc. But after the last few days we are both really on edge. I would like to get your guys opinion because we both don’t know what exactly to make of the situation and what to do now.

It began a few months back when me and my girlfriend were lying in bed talking and suddenly my girlfriend just froze and started breathing very heavily. I asked her if everything was okay and the only thing she could do was shush me. After 3-4 minutes she told me she saw a woman right above me just staring at me the whole time. We didn’t really think anything of this it was sort of just a creepy experience. However more of these so called sightings have happened in the past few weeks. It’s always a girl looking at me or a man in the corner of the room trying to make contact with my girlfriend. Still we always just blamed it on sleep deprivation because we do tend to party a lot and sleep late.

This was until two days ago. I was in bed with my girlfriend again and the same thing happened. She saw a guy in the corner waving at her. Because I didn’t really believe in ghosts or anything I started to make a few jokes (not too kind I know but I was really sceptical at the time). My girlfriend told me I really should be quite for a moment. After she said this I saw a look in her eyes which I will never forget. She grabbed my arm very tightly and after about 1 minute she said she had the feeling that something had scratched her. We do have 2 cats but they were both not in the room with us. After talking for a while I looked at her shoulder and yes: I saw a really big scratch mark on her shoulder. This was the moment that I knew something was not right. After doing some research the following day we agreed that we would just not make any jokes about it and ignore it for as much as we could.

Well tonight the real horror began. After watching a movie and falling asleep peacefully I am woken up by my girlfriend shaking in bed the whole time. After not responding for a minute she started to suffocate. I ran to the lights to see what was going on. Luckily she woke up and after asking if everything was okay she told me that she saw everything happen from te corner of the room where she normally sees the man standing. She had the feeling that she was being pulled into some other space. She didn’t know what is was but the only thing she knew was that she definitely had to avoid this space.

After talking for a few minutes (keep in mind my girlfriend was really scared the whole time) my girlfriend turned to me really casual and said: “babe let’s just go to sleep.” I was weirded out by this a lot because she had been panicking for the last few minutes. I also saw a really calm, yet aggressive glance in her eyes. I told her I wanted to turn the lights back on and talk for a bit. However she just kept on pushing me to go to sleep. I had the feeling something was terribly wrong so I tried to test her reaction with a few jokes that we always make with each other. She didn’t react AT ALL. She just kept saying “it’s fine let’s go to sleep. My girlfriend HATES laying on her back and here she is laying on her back the WHOLE time. I really did not know what to do. After having the same conversation with her for 15 minutes with me wanting to turn the lights on and her reacting in a really firm way saying I SHOULD go to sleep now. She just turned around and started shaking again. I ran to the lights and as soon as I turned them on I saw her normal look again. The most terrifying part of all is that she did not remember a single part of the conversation which literally happened 10 seconds before!!

We are now both sure that there is something here with very bad intentions.

I am just really looking for advice about what to do with this. If anyone has had any similar experiences in the past please tell us what you did to make this nightmare go away.

Netizens’ comments

• Move out NOW

• That might not be a ghost. It might be something worse. I’m worried for your girlfriend. Could you two stay anywhere else for a couple of days?

• that is something evil, not a ghost, you should leave that place.

All I want is for someone, anyone, to look at me and tell me that I am enough, as I am – and mean it.

I did well throughout school, work, have a good job and would be considered reasonably successful by external observations/standards, but I’ve never felt like I have been of any significance to anyone.

There’s always this feeling of needing to be able to do more, be more useful, find more ways that I can be helpful to those around me.

Which I do, and do get appreciated for, but I still feel like all that is just using talent to cover up that I don’t matter.

Yet there’s so many people around me who seem to have families and partners that embrace them for who they are, not what they do.

They may not be as professionally successful as me, but I yearn for what they have And it feels like there’s something wrong with me, like some basic part of being human is missing in me.

I just feel like no matter what I achieve and how high I climb, I’ll never be enough as a person. Something is letting everyone else shine, but why don’t I have it?

Sorry for the rant. I don’t even know what solution I am looking for by posting here. Thank you for reading.

Netizen’s comments

The biggest mistake most people made is thinking that achievements define happiness.That’s so wrong.

Most people achieve alot, but still feels empty inside. Some have big houses, but they don’t have a home.

Some have king size beds, but they don’t have a good night sleep.True happiness is wanting less and appreciate more.

As for you, the most important person that you need appreciation from is yourself. If you don’t even appreciate yourself, no one else matters.

And if you still think you are not good enough despite your achievements, I challenge you to go to a hospice for children and ask yourself this: Why are they so cheerful even though they know they don’t have much time left.

I don’t want to work, or go to class, or see anyone, I wish everyone would just leave me alone.

I’m so tired of having responsibilities. I don’t want to do this anymore. Why do I have to work and socialize with coworkers and see people who don’t make me happy just to stay pleasant and on good terms with others..

I’m so tired of life and being an adult this is ridiculous and miserable.

You’re telling me you spend the beginning of your life being happy so that you have to grow up and deal with this crap?

What’s the actual point?

Netizens’ comments

• Same 23 and dealing with this now, honestly a big F U is all I wanna tell everyone.. I hate this s— but yeaaaaa I guess it’s growing up lol

• This was me 20 years ago, and it gets worse. People degenerate and the FAKEness doesn’t last long.

But I realized I needed to focus my attention on what brings me joy.

• You’re not wrong for noticing certain truths about our societal conditions, but the desire to run away from it is taking the position of surrender, and giving into that while there is still other options is foolish. This isn’t your fault for feeling like that, your biology has been pushed to the point that it no longer is functioning correctly as it should to succeed, grow, develop, and have a natural curiosity and drive for life.

What are the other options? There’s plenty, except many time when we are in abject suffering and stuck in certain mental/physical states we cannot see them, because we are ill and limited in our perception.

The basics are finding ways to minimize stresses in any way possible, and then work on building up the self to become strong and able to contend with the world. Nutrition, safety, relationships, environment, and medication can all be deployed to build up the individual to become a completely different instantiation of themselves, one who is no longer the same damaged individual who struggled to contend with the social order of humanity, and ideally one who can then become a part of the change of human order, but at the least one who is no longer personally suffering and instead has a positive, hopeful, and loving disposition to life.