Never tell your current company where you plan to go after resigning. EVER.

I believe my current company called the place I was leaving to work at and sabotaged me 10 days before my start date.

I was told concerning issues were brought to light. References were blamed but I followed up with all of them and they said their was no chance they changed their mind from something they said.

Now, my current company says I “could” stay but that suddenly everyone is complaining about me and my boss said she couldn’t find anyone who was willing to work with me. So, ergo I’d have basically no hours or clients.

Pretty sure they blackballed me for some reason.

Netizens’ comments

1. any chance for you to investigate? If yes crush them
   • (OP) I wish…doesn’t seem like there’s much to go on..but suddenly after this new company received “concerning” information my current company now had a whole munch of complaints about me…all of a sudden. I’ve only been given good reviews while I’ve worked for them.
2. You were definitely sabotaged. Idk what recourse you have though.
3. If my boss is a POS, then I’m just tell I’m going to work for a larger rival company, even if I’m not.
4. Yeah, 40 years ago, I had a bastard of an employer do that to me after I not only had left his job but had relocated. Miserable old f. That was the beginning of my life-long hatred of bosses.
5. Jokes on them I retired after resigning.
6. I share your experience
   Back when I apply to another company, i used my previous company boss as a reference (Did software dev work alongside him while all the while maintaining / refactoring existing project)
   I did a lot of changes to the company, figure that the boss would do me a some good and refer to me kindly.
   Alas, he say bad things about me. New company supe used this complain to reject me despite me able to answer everything in multiple phase of interview
   After rejection, I told them to get me in non lead role and see how I perform within a year and decide then whether I fit what I want.
   Got the job, same compensation as what i want albeit without lead role. After some time i found out that my prev company boss had been reviewing me badly during the reference.
   It makes me a little disappointed, personally talked to him and ask him for reference and he was all cool and so on, turns out he was being fake and backstabbed me.

Sold items on carousell, received payment but buyer doesn’t want to collect for months

Initially say collect in 2 weeks, then every fortnight add another 2 weeks until MIA. Last month he finally replied but never collect and MIA again. In total, i have held onto the items for 5months.

I had said in the chat if he doesnt collected by mid sept, id treat it as abandoned. Unfortunately he was last seen 1month ago and didnt even read this message.

Just wondering if I would have the legal right to resell the items or do whatever I want with it. The items are worth a few hundred and I dont want to “steal” but I also don’t know how long the stuff has to sit rent free in my house for.

Netizens’ comments

1. Re-list the item for sale and keep his money until it’s sold off, then refund it to him. That way you won’t be at any risk of making a loss at any time.
2. Congrats on the free money ?
3. Give him a deadline to respond and collect, send him reminders and if he doesn’t respond just keep the money.
4. I mean if you want a clear conscious then just refund his money, I guess.
   Go ahead and tell him you will be selling the item as the wait is too long and you can refund his money.
   Other way is keep the money and resell your item, then if he actually comes back and ask, then refund his money lol.
   Third option is to diam diam and just sell, he continues to Mia then you get double the money lol.
5. Here’s another option: refund him and move on. Something smells fishy…
6. You have no obligation to hold it for him indefinitely. You can sell them again, there’s no legal right or wrong for these kinds of private transactions between 2 individuals.
7. This happened to me before, I was gonna wait 1 year before reselling and give him fair notice every month on the app (or whatever means of comms you have with him). Fortunately (or unfortunately) he suddenly showed up 9 months after the deal, saying he was stuck in Malaysia due to the Covid lockdown etc.
   I guess if he showed up after the 1 year thing, I would just have refunded whatever he paid if the item is no longer available for sale.
8. Lol. I had one item also like this. Buyer paid me and MIA for a long time and finally arranged collection. Then MIA again. I’m still holding to the item which I treat as sold already

I’ve been married for a month, and I despise it. It’s the worst decision I’ve ever made. I don’t want this.
That’s it, really. I just needed to get it off my chest.

I don’t like my husband as a person, I’ve realized. We got married quickly, less than a year after meeting. Our marriage was a month ago. I moved to be with him. So, we never had the chance to live together before that.

Everything about him annoys the f out of me, to cut right to the point. He whines constantly, has tantrums when he doesn’t get his way, exaggerates to his friends to look cool, has a cringey sense of humour, doesn’t respect my emotional or physical boundaries, has horrendous taste in media in terms of all music, movies, art, etc… this list could go forever.

He is in his thirties and myself late 20s. I found out just before the marriage I’m his first girlfriend beyond a hookup.

I’ve tried time and time again to bring up these grievances and it’s just not working out. He is truly insufferable in a way that I never realized before living with him.

If I tell him “I’m just tired and need some space right now”, he starts fake crying and pleading for me to hang out with him. Like, INCESSANTLY pleading. And fake crying.

I will explicitly ask him to stop and he will (fake, but he thinks it’s convincing) wail in my face. The moment I say “fine,” crying instantly gone and he smiles like a little kid. He will then gaslight me and say that I wasn’t being clear and he couldn’t understand what I was asking.

I can’t have any female friends without him incessantly trying to set them up with his creepy best friend (I’m too tired to be nice. The guy is an ugly, weird, loser).

He is also pitiful in bed. He neglected to tell me he’d only f-ed 3 times before we got together, turns out everything I had been told pre-marriage was an exaggeration.

His parents are insane and overbearing as well.

I’m so miserable. I hate this. I wish so badly every single night that I could press rewind. I’m so emotionally drained. F me.

I know it’s all my fault for marrying the guy. I know that. In my defense, I didn’t realize how horrible it would be, he wasn’t this bad before. I feel like I’m babysitting, not married.

Allowed my son’s biological dad to hang out with him and he dined and dashed and left me and my boyfriend with the bill.

I let my 4 year old’s biological dad hang out with him for the first time ever. His biological dad left me when I was 8 months pregnant and moved away.

Fast forward 4 years and I live with my current boyfriend and we just had a baby together. My 4 year old only knows my boyfriend as his father. He calls my boyfriend daddy and my boyfriend has raised him.

My 4 year old’s father asked me if he could see him and I reluctantly agreed. We all met up at the mall and walked around a bit and then decided to stop at a restaurant for food and drinks.

We ate and everything was semi okay. We get up to leave and booked a taxi and the waiters come running after us screaming.

I look back and they’re saying that bio dad didn’t pay his bill. Bio dad hops in the taxi and just leaves. I’m standing there with my 5 month old, my 4 year old, and my boyfriend.

We offered to pay for his ticket because we were so embarrassed. I don’t think I’ll ever give my sons bio dad a chance again. Sigh.

Netizens’ comments

1. Man, he really used his biological son to scam you and your boyfriend out of a free meal.
2. That’s really unfortunate and disappointing, I can understand why you wouldn’t want to give him another chance after this incident.
3. Man there are some really trash fathers in this world. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. This will haunt him someday when he’s old and his child wants nothing to do with him
4. Should have given the restaurant all of his information and had them call the police on him.

Got an email on Indeed from a recruiter to apply for a job on Indeed due to my profile. Applied and got rejected in like 20 minutes

Got an email from an HR lady at this law firm. She said that based on my profile and resume she thinks I would be a good fit and asked me to formally apply.

Apply and send my resume. My profile is basically just my resume. And not too long after get an email I’m rejected.

…..why message me in the first place if you were going to deny it so quickly? Felt like a waste of time.

Netizens’ comments

1. Story of my entire Indeed “career”. It’s a full time job getting rejected on Indeed and filtering the scam jobs.
2. I got recruited for a role and asked to apply via LinkedIn. I did and immediately got an automated rejection. I hemmed and hawed about it for a bit and finally just forced myself to email the recruiter. It was a mistake and they had no idea I had even applied in the first place.
   Anyway, if it was something you were excited about, it can’t hurt to email the recruiter and let them know. It might not get you anything, but it really can’t hurt.
3. It’s highly likely that the email that you received was automated. I’ve had emails telling me that I’m a really good fit for roles that I don’t even meet the bare minimum essential criteria for. If you’ve just received one email, it might look personalised, but once you receive a few more, you’ll realise that they’re just boilerplate emails that recruiters can send in bulk to a load of candidates in the hopes that a couple of people apply.
4. Those emails are not from the jobs’ recruiters, they are from Indeed internal recruiters. I’ve had plenty of that particular experiences during the last 6 weeks sending out applications.

I (f30) just found out my bf (m34) of 3 years has a 10 year old son.

I met my bf on OkCupid. He hates when I tell people that. His profile said that he had kids. I was new to the app so I was responding to most people that messaged me out of courtesy.

I asked him about that section, he said that when he started using the app he had accidentally entered that in and he couldn’t change it. Sus I know, but i didn’t know if you could or not.

A couple months later after seeing each other almost daily (just not on weekends because he was “hanging out with friends”) I introduced him to a friend of mine.

This friend likes to stir the pot, she can be very intrusive but she also means well. She kept forgetting his name and then went straight to asking him how many kids he had.

I don’t remember asking her to ask him that. I had asked him when we met and he said no so I believed him. After that question, I could tell he was upset.

After hanging out with my friend my bf asked me if I had asked her to ask him that. I didn’t, why wouldn’t I just ask myself? We got in a huge fight about it because he didn’t believe me.

Fast forward to Father’s Day 2022. By this time, we had moved in with me. We had been living together for almost a year. He frequently went to visit his “friends” and even sometimes spent the night at his “friends”.

But pursuing a private degree and working full time, I had gotten accustomed to him leaving and used that time to study, clean and me time. We would argue because I worked really hard to clear out my weekends so we could hang out.

He came home that Father’s Day weekend with a paper bag. We had gotten in a fight that day because it was my first Father’s Day without my father (passed away in 2021) and I wanted to spend it with my bf.

He said he was busy and had been gone for the whole weekend. We have a bed with drawers underneath, I was cleaning and I saw it.

I was curious what was in it. Since he would bring fun stuff home sometimes like games for the switch, trading card and collectibles, I looked in the bag and I found an arts and crafts project that a kid made.

I went through the pages and it was clearly describing my bf. My heart sank, how was it possible that this man could hide a whole human from me? I felt stupid. I felt blind sided. I was angry so I messaged him and was super snarky and said something like “happy Father’s Day to you, a father.”

He called me and instantly made me the bad guy. I get it, I shouldn’t be going through anyone’s belonging but I’m sorry, what? He said he was leaving and didn’t want anything to do with me.

We ended up not breaking up because he said someone’s kid gave that to him. I was still confused, because that meant that he still had a relationship with this child. He said he felt hurt that I didn’t believed him. I GAVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.

Fast forward to now. His uncle has recently been sick and in the hospital. Before a couple day ago I had not yet met anyone in his family except for his half sister.

I know, I’m probably dumb for not questioning it. I offered to go with him to the hospital to show support. I didn’t know who would be there but I assumed I’d be sitting in a waiting room anyways since his uncle is in the ICU.

I met the mom, the cousin, a god mother and and some of their acquaintances. I was being introduced as his gf/wife and as he put it, his “main squeeze” (I thought it was funny).

There was moment his mom and I sat together and talked about how we hadn’t met. She said “well, he is pretty distant from us. Even when [name of Kid] was born. He hardly lets us see him.”

And I was like wait what? I recognized the name from the project. I asked her to clarify, because I wasn’t sure what we were talking about at this point.

She spilled the beans. I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up. She apologized for telling me something he maybe hadn’t told me yet.

We went home and tried to talk about. He said he felt like a failure as a man and as a father. I feel a little hurt because during our relationship I’ve made it known I’d like to start a family soon after we get married.

We’re not engaged but we do talk about it. I love this man but this made me rethink so many things. He said that he knows that his absence affects me.

I was always hoping we could spend more time together and I realized the it will probably never change. He often will say how he doesn’t want babies because then I’ll just take them away from him, which I never understood why he said that until now.

I see his side of this whole thing but I also don’t know if I’m wrong for being confused about this. I want a family. He basically said his kid comes first. I get that but not something someone wants to hear. I could just be a freaking adult and accept it or not? Am I being immature?

I hooked up with a girl and she thanked me for treating her with respect

Two days ago I matched with this girl on Tinder and she came over so we can meet each other. We talked for about 3 hours and I immediately gained an interest in her. She had this positive energy radiating from her and I could not stop staring into her eyes.

After we stopped talking we started making out and eventually made love. It was nothing special or anything but I felt this deep connection with her and wanted to make her feel good. She spent the night and I woke up with her in my arms and I have never felt more at peace in my life at the moment.

After she left she sent me a message thanking me for the night and for treating her with kindness. She mentioned that her last couple relationships were extremely toxic and mean to her and she had bad experiences with men in the past and she thanked me profusely for treating her body with respect.

I didn’t do anything that special. She was extremely anxious in the beginning and asked me to stop multiple times so she could calm herself down and I did not think much of it in the moment other than asking if she was okay but I understand now.

I replied and we are going mini golfing tomorrow and I can not wait. I want to make this work. She made it clear in the beginning that she was looking for a serious relationship and said that I make her comfortable.

I want to be with her so bad. I also got out of a bad relationship last year and closed myself off from people completely but with her I feel safe and heard.

Netizens’ comments

1. Keep listening to her and treating her like a Queen. Communicate and communicate. Make sure you are listening to her even if it mean asking her what she meant. I am so happy for you. Keep us updated.
2. Word of advice bro, eliminate the phrase “nothing special” from your vocabulary, because you seem to only use it to describe things that are, in fact, very special. That’s going to get you in a heap of trouble if you say it at the wrong moment.
3. Good luck brother. Sounds like if you keep following the head on top of your shoulders, you’ll be just fine!

I’m leaving my wife because she’s pregnant.

I have two beautiful, amazing children. They’re everything to me. But the stress nearly killed me. My mental and physical health were in the gutter. I was hospitalised several times.

I am finally in an okay place, although still stressed. I have been trying to get a vasectomy for about a year but I’ve had to save to get it our of pocket. Its been a journey.

I do actually have one booked for the end of September. I can not tell you how excited I was.

And then my wife excitedly told me she was pregnant.

I was not excited. I cried. I freaked out on her. I told her she needed to abort because I will not go through it again.

She is insistent that we’ll make it work, which is what she said when we had our second. I barely made it. I will not do it again.

I told her if she keeps the baby I will leave. She said I wouldn’t.

We’re getting divorced.

I have already moved out. The kids are so upset. But I just can’t. She’s begging for me to come home. I told her that she knows what needs to happen.

She doesn’t want an abortion. I do not want a third child. So what do we do?

I know this is my fault. We had very minimal intimacy but when we did I didn’t always check the condom after to make sure it hadn’t broken or something. I figured it was so rare, and we barely touched each other these days, so it wouldn’t happen to us. Alas, we are here.

I don’t know what I’ll do. I know I can not be in the house when the baby comes. I can’t cope with infants. Child support, I guess.

I don’t want to be the shitty dad that sees two of the three kids. But I can not risk another episode.

I hope she makes the right choice here. Having this baby will bring nothing but bad things.

Husband is treating me like glass in bed…

Hello everyone, I am a 24-year-old woman who recently got married to my husband two weeks ago. He’s 31, and our marriage was arranged by our parents and family.

Anyway, our wedding night was almost 2 weeks ago, and being virgins and never having experienced any physical intimate activities, we decided to consummate our marriage on our wedding night.

We slept together for the first time, and honestly, we were both nervous and experienced some awkwardness.

However, it was mostly a very loving experience. He was sweet, kind, gentle, calm, and patient, and I felt very comfortable and safe.

Since our wedding night, we’ve been doing it every morning and every night, sometimes even three times a day.

Every time we do it, my husband keeps asking me if I’m OK every five seconds during intercourse when he’s on top of me.

While I love it and feel flattered, and I’m already in love with my man, it’s really annoying and driving me crazy. I’m not a snowflake, so I’m wondering if others do this, especially when a relationship or marriage is new.

I don’t want to tell him that I’m annoyed by this, as I’m pretty sure he would understand. However, I don’t want to hurt his feelings because I know he loves me.

Honestly, the way he cuddles me and holds me in his arms after we finish having sex is the best part. I know I’ve only been married to him for roughly 2 weeks, but I’m already in love with him and can’t wait to have beautiful babies

Netizens’ comments

1. Explain that you are not a fragile woman, that you promise to tell him if he does something that does not feel good, and otherwise he can assume you are enjoying yourself.
   Tell him you totally love being held after too. And perhaps you can both promise that you will try to guide each other to be the best lovers for each other that you can by being honest and authentic, never pretending.
2. It’s great that he’s checking in with you and you’re having these conversations. It’s also great that you’re enjoying this quickly in an arranged marriage. I’d just talk to him. “I’ll let you know if something doesn’t feel good or hurts. But so far everything has been great and I’d like us both to try and relax and enjoy the experience.” He’s probably just nervous since this is all new for him as well.