An old man made me cry

Let me preface this by saying, I am 28 and male. I never cry. Even at funerals. I have a serious profession (doctor) so I rarely ever break into tears even upon seeing the most gruesome and awful sights known to humanity.

It’s not like I’m emotionless, in fact I’m quite lively and loud. I just never feel at ease or safe enough to be that vulnerable.

Yesterday I was walking home from the gym when an elderly couple stopped me at the side of the road. The driver was 90sh and he was utterly lost and didn’t know how to follow maps on his phone.

I looked it up and simply guided him, he thanked me profusely as he was going to see his grandkids for the first time and wanted to catch them before they slept.

All he said was “You’re a good man” with a smile and drove off. I just stood there and those words just ringed inside me like a bell. It felt so warm. I just found myself tearing up.

It was just the way he said it. Like he was recognizing my kindness and my character. I’ve had thousands of people thank me for my help in treating them in the past but this time was different. It had nothing to do with work.

He just thought I was a good man.

Netizens’ comments

1. lovely when people who don’t know you see who you really are, god bless you and the old man, sometimes we all need affirmation every once in a while.
2. Nothing more powerful that familial warmth, and you were probably struck and moved by an elderly grandparent’s love for their grandchildren, it’s powerful and moving and you felt it in full, and chances are your own grandparents are no longer around and you miss them, am I right?

I (29F) just found out that a year ago my husband (29M) planned to go with prostitutes and was on a dating website, sending photos of him to other women.

What pains me is that he did it when I got diagnosed with Lupus and the same period I lost another pregnancy.

His pathetic excuse was “my boss told me to get on the dating website and that it could have helped me with my mental health”… And I am a psychologist, mind you…

I’m heart broken, I feel so betrayed and humiliated.

What gets me is that he didn’t tell me and kept telling me that he wants kids so while I was getting pumped up with hormones he was planning on cheating on me…

What did I do to deserve this? Why wasn’t I enough? How can someone hurt his/her spouse like this?

I’m crying my eyes out, I still cannot believe this

He told me that he is afraid of my anger and that there was a time when he was feeling really alone and I made him miserable.

I still cannot believe it… If it was with a coworker… Or a friend that I could confront… But a prostitute…? I don’t know what to feel, I am nauseated, cannot sleep at all from all the thoughts that go in my mind.

Sorry, I’m just venting..

Netizens’c omments

1. Your husband is a selfish, immature idiot. Take time and do not be hasty in coming to any decision. Going to hurt another for a while, whatever your path I wish you well.
2. I’m sorry. Your husband sounds immature & selfish.
3. I know this is hard to believe right now but his cheating actually has nothing to do with you. This is all him. He may try to say it’s your fault but that’s b/c misery loves company. It’s a lie. So please don’t internalize his behavior as being your fault. It isn’t. Period.

Parents keep asking me for money

I don’t know where to start but I‘m feeling so angry at my parents. My dad goes months without working, he’s self employed and my mom doesn’t earn much either. Her salary is enough to pay rent but that’s it.

I‘ve been employed since april and I started helping out my parents and it frustrates me that they seem to have enough money to buy cigarettes but never enough money to have enough food in the fridge. I help them out by paying for electric bills, but mostly groceries.

I gave my parents $100 a couple days ago for groceries and a couple days later my mom asked me for money again (100) and yesterday she asked me for money to buy groceries.

And I asked her, where’s the money that I gave you? It’s really pissing me off. She asked me why I have such an attitude.

So anyway. Yesterday I gave in and told my mom, that she could buy the groceries and that I will give her the money. But she wouldn’t speak to me. She just shut the door and cried. She has always asked her mom for money, and now she starts asking me.

This work week has been so difficult for me mentally and I was feeling down so that I had zero energy to buy food myself. I work so much, come back home, fall asleep in my jeans and everything with make up on.

My health problems make this situation even worse. I have eczema all over my legs because of the stress which leaves ugly scars that I need laser treatment for in a couple months.

So anyway, I asked my dad to buy something, I suggested giving him money but all he bought was frozen food, cigarettes and milk

This entire situation is making me so angry, because my parents have always been irresponsible with money since childhood. My dad wouldn’t pay the bills, and we would sit in a dark apartment. This has left me traumatized. I‘m always feeling internally stressed out when it comes to money.

So I don’t know what I‘m supposed to do now. Should i track all expenses and how am I supposed to act in this situation?

I will go grocery shopping myself in the future, no matter how exhausted I am. My parents spend way too much money on groceries and not looking if there’s cheaper alternatives.

I feel so bad for even thinking about investing money into my hobbies. I would LOVE to learn analog photography or buy myself a nice digital camera and attend workshops, learn how to develop film. But it’s impossible since I really need to save up for my own place which I‘m hoping to move into next year.

Co-worker who has never been late in 7+ years, gets fired for first time being late…

This happened last week and today Monday we just found out he was fired for being 20 minutes late FOR HIS FIRST TIME EVER… tomorrow me and ALL my coworkers will be late and will continue to come in late until they rehire him.

Update: I was 22 min late and our manager was not happy, he asked if everyone was stuck at traffic or something and one of the workers w most experience (5yrs in the company) said “unfair treatment for being late is not something we want”

and then me and another co worker said that we just straight up worried that because of a mistake or slip up we can be fired and then 2 other co workers they are older so kinda close minded AND don’t work on the floor (office people) w all the other 13 mechs said that “that’s how life is”

To make it short cause I’m at work atm our manager smoked the entire situation and said “that wasn’t gonna happen” as long as you don’t get “hostile” when being “counseled”….

We just said we wanna be appreciated and want job security specially now a days. We expressed how we are concerned to get our ex-colleague back and here’s the “GOODNEWS” … the manager said he “contacted” him to come back but he said in the group chat that he was not coming back unless things changes.

He said he appreciated us coming in late but we didn’t have to do that; our manager did text him back less than a week after being fired. But I think our end goal was just legit prove and set in stone that were not disposable, we all have a job and a certain area that we are all good at, so it’s like we just gotta depend on one another.

Lastly… there’s no job I’ve encountered in my 26 years of life that has cared for me… and I’m sure a HUGE percentage of people can relate so yeah… try and understand that you can get fired for stupid things like being late…

My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play when we get intimate is weird and a major turn off

A little back story; when I first started getting intimate with girls, I researched into ways to be better as I was a little stiff and pretty much had no idea what I was doing. I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm in order to put on a better performance.

I searched love making songs and started slowly creating a playlist in which I was comfortable matching the rhythm.

There are a few songs to my playlist. However there is one song in particular, which actually happens to be my favourite, that my girlfriend hates and says turns her off in a major way.

I don’t understand why it has taken her two years to tell me she hates that song, it’s a good love making song with good rhythm. I feel the way I messed up is I could have possibly asked her previously if she likes the playlist or any songs she’d like to add/change.

But to leave it for two years thinking our activities in bed is great but in her eyes has just been ruined by my music has left the whole situation feeling awkward and I’m a bit annoyed.

I pretty much played this tune every single time so the amount of times she must have not been enjoying it, when I thought the complete opposite is annoying but also embarrassing in ways.

Not to mention my previous partners, however they never complained about the song so maybe it’s just her?

It’s messed up the relationship tbh because it feels awkward now. The other day we were f-ing with no music but I was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head. She recognised this and asked me to stop.

I thought this song was perfect and I always thrust along with the tune and feel it gives me the perfect rhythm for doing the deed to. I usually bust to this song and find it devastating she hates the song.

the song itself

I (29f) just got married to someone I really love (31m), but they suddenly changed right after the wedding
I am devastated rn.

So my husband and I were dating for about 1.5 years before we got married. We just seemed perfect for each other, not that either of us is perfect, but we’re a really good team, had common interests and goals in life, same sense of humor, communicate well, and encouraged each other to be better versions of ourselves.

One night before getting married we put all our goals on paper, we both agreed to them together, and started to save up for them.

These goals included having kids and starting a family, traveling to different places, and I want to support him and like it too, getting a nice house etc.

So up until about a month after getting married, we were both talking about family planning and when the best time to get pregnant would be. He even suggested we start trying the next month.

Well a month goes by and it slips out during a conversation that he doesn’t want kids anymore due to him not making enough money mainly, but then after I debunked that since we both make decent money he says he just doesn’t want them and doesn’t want to be a dad.

In addition, all the plans we made together turned into him quitting his job and travelling the world alone with his dog for the rest of his life…

So I’ve been crying for the past week or so non-stop. For context, I’m catholic and he is christian, and we took traditional vows, including being open to life.

He’s gaslighting me telling me I’m overreacting, it’s not a big deal, there’s plenty of other stuff to do in life than raise kids, people change.

He also said he came to this conclusion over time but that’s a lie since he was suggesting we start trying not even a month ago. I feel like such an idiot.

How can you do that to someone and act like it’s not a big deal? That’s a major decision you make before marriage. Plus setting flames to all our plans…

I’m going to try and talk to him some more but if he doesn’t change will seek annullment. Hoping he’ll snap out of this.

Any advice on how long I should wait for him or if any guys on here went through a similar phase right after getting married?

Am i deluded or is some people here unrealistic

Am i starting to lose touch with reality or are some people here unrealistic?

Sometimes I scroll and see most people being normal and logical. But there will be that few people that seem like they expect life to be a bed of roses in Singapore and suddenly when it is not, Singapore is not a good place anymore?

Don’t get me wrong, every country has its pros and cons, but sometimes I see some people greatly exagerating stuff. One bad thing on the news and suddenly we are a bad place. To misquote one comment I saw here, its like someone sees on the news “someone gets beaten up at the park” and suddenly they decide “running in the park is too dangerous”

then we go to financial topics. why does it seem like some people here is either making a lot or having unrealistic goals. or complaining about things that are already considered good?

i dont come from a place of privilege. for my whole life my Dad either has difficulty finding a job or he brings in 2.2k max due to his age and his education. my Mom doesnt even work because she took care of my grandparents. jic anyone thinks i come from a silver spoon and are taking things too lightly.

the home ownership rate is almost 90% here, yes we have CPF and yes the price is higher but compared to so many people in other developed countries that can barely pay rent, isn’t this what they dream of? and i have seen some people talking about how private homes are unaffordable but complaining not wanting a HDB, wtf? i know we all aim high but sometimes we have to be realistic?

i know we can hate stuff about our country, but why does it seem like sometimes people just want a reason to hate your own country? turn on the tap and we have clean water that won’t cause pearl harbour in the toilet. we do have some bad sheeps in our government (ruling and opposition) but majority of the MPs, be it PAP or WP, are still relatively competent in their job as compared to their counterparts in other countries. we pay less than $20 for a trip to the polyclinic, even lesser if u are below or above a certain age. medisave exists because CPF forces u to save money and forces ur employer to give u extra (although they should be more relaxed with some aspects of the withdrawal rules). everything is being taken care of so well, if u are broke u never have to worry about school fees because bursaries got that for you.

that being said, am i losing touch with reality, or is it just some people expect more from life than reality. and if so, what’s the cause of it

am turning 20 this year, the people i hang around with normally dont give a flying f about stuff like this in general, so im worried that as i grow older these are things i might worry about, or the people around me might.

Sohai SME Stories

Interested to hear the shit that goes on at other SMEs. I’ll start with some

My boss is stupid. No idea how he became a boss. Rich perhaps ? The other day he told me his mouse battery died and told me to go buy some batteries. And I complied. Then he scolded me for buying energizer AA batteries. He say I should go mama shop but those cheapskate brand batteries as energizer too powerful, will burn his mouse.

Then the other day he told me to switch off power to the shredder when not using cos the shredder will overheat. Will overheat. When its not in operation.

This place really like army sia, need to turn off the brain

Netizens’ comments

1. Means it’s time for you to find a new boss liao.
   My ex-boss in SME used to tell us this “If you need to take emergency leave or mc, you need to inform me at least a day before!”
   Me: “How would I be able to do so if the emergency happen that very morning?”
   Le boss: “SO HOW COME YOU CAN TAKE ANNUAL LEAVE FOR HOLIDAY MONTHS BEFORE YOUR TRIP?”
   A week later I tendered.
2. Previously at my first job many many years ago, I was doing some work, can’t remember what it was already. My boss told me the work was urgent and need me to complete it fast.
   After a while, he came back and said: “you do so slow you might as well go home sleep, I do better”. Guess what? I just went home and the next day didn’t go back.
3. Mine, or should i say, my partner’s, is so atrocious i didnt believe at first.
   He works at this Arts company that hires teachers to go to student’s house to teach. It was initially a nice job…until the boss decided to make an app for teachers. every single student needed to be clocked in and out. This app tracks the location, making it extremely inconvenient for the teachers (e.g. say student and teacher change lesson time to an hour later, teacher have to screenshot the reason for time change, report to a groupchat and admin will change the app system).
   It went on to become a $10 fine for every missing clockin/out. Annual bonus took into account the average number of lessons taught per month but forget to realise how teachers sacrificed/cancelled lessons to help the company with their concerts. Some got negative bonus and the highest was around $500.
   Recently, the boss put out a policy that all cancelled lesson must be replaced and fees are collected upfront. So if a month has 4 weeks, students will pay for 4 lessons regardless they attend or not. It will be on the teacher to find time to make lesson replacements. It was apparently very difficult for my partner especially after school holidays where he had to replace all lessons. Its was not as easy as replacing as he had to ensure he could fit students and the route to different student’s places is smooth. Some parents got angry at the company and went directly to the boss. The boss pussied out and said “no problem, we will settle for you” and proceeds to refund them.
   The worst thing? the boss hired a private investigator to follow fellow teachers that he suspects teaches privately, outside of company. Now, i do understand that its against the company rules and in no way I’m encouraging this. However, i felt it crossed the line of micromanaging.

What are your thoughts about property agents?

I’ll honestly say I’m irritated with them. I received at least 2 ads per week at my door from them. Yes my house has MOP-ed but I have no intention of selling.

I’ve heard from a friend who is an agent himself saying that he truly loves his job because he’s helping others to buy/sell their biggest asset in their lives.

He says it’s too one-dimensional to see them as just people who work for the money as it’s a commission based job.

What are your thoughts?

Netizens’ comments

1. im fine with receiving paper flyers at my door. They are less of a nuisance than insurance agents camping at the MRT and shopping centres
2. I can live with the flyers in my letterbox, even at my gate, these are ok.
   What I absolutely hate is when they ring my doorbell or knock on my door. Sometimes, they would do these at 9 or 10 pm!? Eh hello! I got young kids that are already asleep at that time or are trying to go to sleep. Can be more considerate or not?
   If you do this to me, rest assured, even if I want to sell my flat, I die die also won’t contact you.
3. i just wish they were more honest with themselves about money.
   i mean its a properly regulated job, you need to be proficient with the processes and technicalities of house ownership.you need to build a network to help clients do a better seach, and my agent has also helped me with various reno recommendations to improve/repair my house.
   but at the end of the day its just a job right? they are paid commission for a job well done. I dont understand why they have to make it their personality thinking they have secured their client’s future or made someone rich.
   everyone of them is ultimately after the commission which is growing with the increase in property prices, and ive seen more and more people i know taking up this role with announcements on their social media, simply because its lucrative now and will beat their degree income
4. Technology can easily replace most aspect of their work. Property agent really dun bring much to the market as they used to.
   Insurance agent can understand still their importance, cos too many clauses and different scenarios.
   For property industry, now got virtual tour, digital marketing, open online bid. What’s lacking is a trustable app/platform that packages all these services up together.
   Why shld someone be paid $10-30k for simple schedule arrangement and paperwork. Not much value created tbh. A front desk clerk handle more paperwork in a day than an agent in a month.
   As for loans, it’s as simple as this. If u dun understand it, dun sign it.

Why do places do this?

So I have been hunting for a job since May, I’ve had no luck. I have done so many applications, phone calls, interviews, it’s sickening at this point.

My question to you all is, I see so many job ads. I call the place to see if I can come in and do an interview, and then they say “we actually aren’t hiring right now.” Yet they have a job ad on indeed, or even on the front of the store. Why do they do this? What is the point, and what do they possibly have to gain about lying about needing people?

Yesterday I called 12 different places. Out of the 12 (all of them with job ads) only 4 of these were actually hiring. This job hunt has been unbelievably frustrating.

On the bright side, the 4 that were actually hiring and looking for people, I have interviews scheduled for all of them. Keeping my fingers crossed, but I’m starting to lose hope.

Netizens’ comments

1. Because they’re giving the illusion that they are hiring, presumably to keep the other overworked employees at bay. These companies are seeing that they can get by with a skeleton crew and reduce what they’re paying out in payroll. When the other employees ask why they aren’t hiring they get the usual, tired slogan…”because no one wants to work these days.”
   No, people have no problem working. You’ll see that these jobs that actually pay a livable wage aren’t struggling to retain or hire people. It’s the jobs that pay crap wages and want you to essentially be on call for them 24 hours a day 7 days a week are the ones that are struggling to find and keep people.
2. Idk, but it’s super annoying. I got hired at a job about 4 weeks ago and did orientation shortly after. About 2-weeks ago, I finished the online training and am still waiting for them to schedule me for in-person training. They haven’t even started my actual training yet. I called and they said, “When we get the hours”. Really? Why even hire?