I’ve been with him for 2.5 years and we recently moved together. For some context, I had pretty long hair. I liked it, but it was a lot of work and I was thinking about cutting for some time, but wasn’t completely sure. I told my bf about it and he said that it wouldn’t matter for him whether I cut it or not.

My boyfriend was always the type of guy who liked making jokes and pranks but nothing too serious. But what he did to me, wasn’t a prank in my opinion. It was just mean and I felt violated.

The other day, I came home in the late afternoon. My boyfriend was there and we spoke for a bit. Then, I laid on the couch and I must have been really tired because I felt asleep.

Next thing I know, I wake up to someone laughing while pulling lightly on my hair. I was confused since I just had just woken up and I couldn’t really understand what was happening, in the first few seconds.

I looked and my boyfriend was standing in front of me with big scissors and a huge strand of hair in his hands. There were strands on the couch as well. I started to panic and touched my hair. One side was so much shorter than the other one. I screamed at him and asked him what he did. He burst out laughing and told me that he he wanted be my hairstylist for the day since I was thinking about cutting my hair. He kept laughing and told me that he wouldn’t charge me.

I rushed to the bathroom and watched myself in the mirror, huge chunks were gone on the right side and it looked completely asymmetric, just like a kid who cut their own hair. I felt so stupid and ashamed looking at myself. I cried and yelled at my bf, but he told to stay calm, that it wasn’t that serious and continued laughing. I went to my room and didn’t speak to him for the rest of the evening, night.

The next morning, I took an appointment with my hairstylist. I was so ashamed that I lied to her, told her that it was urgent because I had lost a bet. When she saw me, she told me not to make bets anymore. I felt completely stupid.

Thankfully, she kind of saved my hair but she had to cut at least 10-15cm, because of him. He didn’t apologise and kept telling that it was just a joke and that I still looked cute with my new hair. I tolerate it ( my hair), but that’s not the point.

The issue is that I felt violated and that it wasn’t funny but disrespectful. Unfortunately, he doesn’t understand it. He keeps telling that it’s just hair and that i wanted to cut it anyway. First of all, I wasn’t sure and I wouldn’t have gone to my hairstylist.

I feel like my reaction was justified. What do you think about it ? Did I overreact ?

I used to think I had the perfect relationship. My beautiful girlfriend had recently become a flight attendant and she was so passionate about her job.

She was always so excited to go away on her trips. I was happy for her, and I wanted to support her in any way I could. I would pick her up from the airport every time she returned home, and I would drive her to the airport every time she had to go away for work.

During her trips, she wasn’t being faithful.

I was completely blindsided when I found out. I had no idea that she was cheating on me with different men from all around the world. I felt betrayed. I had been driving her to the airport every day, only for her to go away and sleep with other men.

I was so angry. I was angry at her, for lying and cheating on me. I was angry at myself, for not seeing the signs and not realizing what was going on. I was angry at the world, for allowing this to happen to me. I was in so much pain and anguish that I didn’t know what to do.

I confronted her about it and she initially denied it. But then, she eventually admitted it and apologized profusely. She said she was sorry for hurting me and that she would never do it again. But I didn’t believe her. I knew that she had already done it and that she was probably going to do it again.

I decided to end the relationship. I couldn’t trust her anymore. I couldn’t be with someone who was capable of doing something like this. I knew that I deserved better. I deserved to be with someone who would be faithful and honest.

It has been a few months since I ended the relationship. I still feel the pain of what happened, but I am slowly starting to move on. I am learning to forgive her, though it is not easy. I am also learning to forgive myself for not seeing the signs and not realizing what was going on.

I am also learning to appreciate the small things in life. I am learning to appreciate the moments I shared with her, even if they were eventually tainted by her betrayal. I am learning to appreciate the drives I took her to the airport, even if they were for her to go away and cheat on me.

I am learning to be thankful for the things that I have in life and to be grateful for the experiences I have had. I am learning to be thankful for the lessons that I have learned and to be thankful for the strength I have gained. I am learning to be thankful for every single day, and for all the moments that I still get to experience.

I am learning that life can be unpredictable, and that it can take unexpected turns. I am learning to accept that things don’t always go the way we plan them to, and that sometimes, we have to go through difficult experiences in order to learn and grow. And I am learning to appreciate the journey, no matter how difficult it may be.

Unsure how to request a break from work.

I work in a job where it’s essentially a contractual basis (we take up projects). I’m slammed and tired. Working essentially 7 days a week and am always on ‘call’, meaning even if I do go home early, I’m always terrified of hearing my phone messages.

It’s hard to just ‘quit’ because I have obligations towards my own assigned projects and clients. Clients whom I made promises to myself.

Work environment is good, boss doesn’t really understand ‘personal’ time but he’s great. Colleagues are great. Boss often treats me to food and gives me opportunities he doesn’t give others (partially why I’m so slammed).

When he saw I bought myself a new laptop, he even covered it as a company expense (no one else got this incentive when they bought their own).

Everyone seems to have high expectations of me which is why it feels so f-ing hard to just go: “I can’t anymore, I’m sorry but I want to stop taking any more projects, clear my existing ones and go on a break.”

I know if everyone is good, they’ll be understanding. It’s not like they’ll tell me no nor can they really stop me if I push for it but it’s the shame. It just feels so f-ing shameful because it feels like I’m giving up.

Netizens’ comments

1. step no 1: open your mouth and request for x numbers of days leaves
   step no 2: stop being a ‘sponge’. half of your described problems caused by your inability to say No and set boundaries. you seem like to come across as Ms/Mr nice person. if you don’t change this, nobody can help you.
2. Talk to your boss? If he is as great as u think he is then he might arrange a solution for you. Maybe hire someone else to help you out, or reduce your workload. People around you might not understand the workload you are saddled with, especially if you keep gritting your teeth and continue pulling through. What’s the worst that can happen? If your boss disagrees you quit, if u keep quiet about it you will quit eventually anyway.
3. Taking a break will just be kicking the can down the road. If the nature of the job entails high pressure and being on call all the time, maybe it’s not the right one for you and it’s time to consider a permanent change instead of a break.