I don’t understand why some people are so sensitive when it comes to friendships.

Everything must always do together. Must include everyone. If someone cannot make it, then must cancel the whole outing and pick another day.

Why can’t just have two outings? I don’t understand.

A, B and I are good friends and we do most things together. I say most things cos A doesn’t like to watch superhero movies. She thinks they are lame.

On the other hand, B and I are like huge fans of Marvel and DC. So recently we went to watch The Flash without A.

Wah I tell you she kpkb non stop about it, keep saying we exclusive and other crap. Wah I hear already really triggered.

I mean in the first place she doesn’t even like Flash. If we went out to do something she likes then fine lah we cb but in this case we got what wrong sia.

Last time we asked her along to watch Avengers she kao peh and kao bu the whole damn movie. Avengers leh! It’s already so mainstream but she still kept asking qn and making stupid comments throughout.

We were so embarrassed cos it’s damn obvious the people beside us were very annoyed by her. So the next superhero movie we swore not to invite her if not very waste our money.

Actl everything was okay one until this stupid B go and let slip we went out without A but wtf this A also damn childish this kind of stupid thing also want to ignore us.

Ignore ignore lor even better. I don’t have to deal with her nonsense. Pity her boyfriend sia.

Netizens’ comments

Why are you guys acting like little kids, reading this made me go through puberty all over again. Grow the F up people.

My ex GF [24F] cheated on me [22M] & had a kid. She left her boyfriend [25M] and wants me to take her back.

I don’t want to come off as arrogant or cocky. I just have had such large growth financially and mentally. This girl and I dated for months, but bad a lifelong friendship & we were friends since we were both toddlers.

I’ve always had feelings for her and I thought she was my soul mate. We had a lot of plans and goals to complete together, but she acted to play games and left me for another dude.

Obviously it hurt and I am still feeling some sort of betrayal over it. The thing is, she had a baby with that guy. After the whole mess I cut her off completely and she kept trying to be my friend, but I turned my back to her.

I saw her a couple times recently due to some stuff that was going on and we had some conversations on my and her feelings.

The thing is I am not the same. I started making high 6 digits a year and I think for somebody my age I am doing very good. I am able to afford the things I like, and I am loving comfortably.

She on the other hand dumped and kicked her boyfriend out. Right after she did that, she called me to tell me she wanted to give it another go. I have issues, ever since she left me I was feeling lonely and I am still attached to her

. But I also do not believe she wants to be with me over her feelings for me, more so because I am successful now. How should I handle things with her? I don’t want to be rude, but I do want to know her true intentions.

Tldr: my ex left me for somebody else and settled down. Now that things went south, she got separated and she wants to date me, but I am not so sure I can trust her again.

Netizens’ comments

1. She doesn’t “want you back” she wants you to help her with someone else’s kid. THE someone else she chose, over you. Block, move on. Find better.
2. Her true intentions are clear as day bruh. What else do you want ? Her to spell it out for you ? Move on and pay no heed.
3. Of course she wants you hack…the grass wasn’t greener, and she needs a babysitter. So, another option is to find someone new who hasn’t broken your trust and cheated on you, and build a new relationship, have fun traveling and having experiences now that someone without kids can do, and later get married and have your own kid. Good luck, congrats on moving forward, and don’t look back!
4. She didn’t choose you before, she doesn’t get to choose your money now. Don’t take her back.

I will be 30 this year, and I’m still scared of my mother. I’ve not admitted this to anyone, and no one knows this. It has been my secret since young.

Since I can remember, my mother has been this intimidating figure in my life. As a child, I thought this was normal. When I was in primary school she would cane me frequently, sometimes I deserve it (like most kids I make mistakes sometimes), but sometimes it is really not my fault.

I remember vividly the times she hit me when I accidentally knocked over a vase, or when I was hungry and ate some food from the kitchen she didn’t approve of. She would quarrel with my father (divorced) and vent her anger out on me.

I also got beatings simply because she said I reminded her of my dad and that it’s my fault she got divorced. Often I would go to school with cane marks on my arms and legs and be ridiculed by my classmates. I would always be scared to go home, not knowing what mood my mother would be in.

In secondary school, the canings continued. She would also not give me pocket money regularly and I would have to ask for it. Sometimes she was in a good mood and she’ll give it to me, but a lot of times she would scold me for being a financial burden or hit me and chase me out of the house.

I would go to school and watch my friends eat because I didn’t have money to buy food for myself. I made excuses like I’m not hungry. I had to return home immediately after school because if I was late to come home she would hit me or lock the doors and I would have to wait in the HDB corridor for her to return so I can go in.

I couldn’t join my friends to go out after school and anyways I didn’t have the money to go. I made up loads of excuses and slowly no one asked me if I was going anymore. Weekends she would forbid me to go out and lock me at home while she went to play mahjong.

If she lost, I would be in for another beating. If she won, which was rare she would be in such a good mood she would cook me dinner or even dabao something back for me to eat.

In my teens she also escalated to throwing heavy objects at me, hitting me over the head with hard objects and even sometimes throwing boiling water at me. I got better at evading and covering up bruises and marks on my body.

In my teens in addition to the frequent beatings, her mood swings were also scary, and she had a lot of paranoid thoughts. She would often accuse me of ridiculous things like I’m plotting with the neighbours to ruin her life.

She would also accuse others of having intentions of harming her. She can get from normal to really angry in seconds, and it’s hard to predict her mood as the simplest things can set her off.

I finally graduated (my father gave me some money for school) and she got older. I got a job and would stay out later to avoid going home.

Till now her mood is still unstable, and she still chucks things at me and hits me with bamboo poles and stuff. But her strength and agility is lessened now due to age so I’m able to evade.

I also have income now so I can buy my own food and spend on some things that I need. She has also retired and asks me for an allowance every month which I give.

People might ask me why I don’t move out. It’s expensive to rent, and I don’t earn much. Despite her shortcomings, I do still love my mother and worry she’s not going to be able to cope alone. I do alot of things around the house.

She did still bring me up. I also can’t stay with my dad as he has a new family and other children now, and he doesn’t want me to interfere with his family. He says he’s done his part by paying for my education and to not mess up his new family.

Sometimes I feel tired living with someone who’s so unpredictable. The fear is still there even though things are better now as she’s not physically hitting me as much.

Now I don’t know what’s in it for me in the future. I’m living one day at a time. It’s bad but sometimes I think I’ll only be free after she passes. I feel guilty thinking this way. For now I just wait I guess.

Thanks for reading my rant. Needed to get some of this off my chest.

My (24F) boyfriend (29M) refuses to call me beautiful.

We’ve been together for 5 years, and I can count on one hand the number of times he’s called me beautiful/gorgeous.

Those times were only when I asked him to do so. When I’ve asked him directly why he never calls me beautiful or anything similar, he tells me that I sometimes look pretty when I have makeup on, but he otherwise just hedges and changes the subject.

When I’ve broken down and asked him to tell my I’m beautiful, he does almost anything to avoid saying it and has even walked away.

The only time he lets any real attraction be known is when he wants to be intimate, and comments are only on my body, not my face. I’ve talked to him several times about how this hurts my feelings and self esteem, but he only says he is sorry he hurt my feelings. He has even said “I just don’t want to” tell me I’m pretty.

I don’t think he intends to be hurtful. I even think he is just being honest, which is the worst part.

Is this a dynamic I should just accept? Is this a problem worth giving me pause in our relationship?

TLDR: Boyfriend outright refuses to tell me I’m beautiful.

Netizens’ comments

1. I think it is safe to say he’s not going to change this after 5 years.
2. My now husband didn’t immediately start telling me that I was beautiful, but once we were definitely committed he started, and still does, tell me that I’m the most beautiful in the world TO HIM and I believe him. I’m not stereotypically gorgeous, but when you really love someone for who they are, that doesn’t matter anymore. It shouldn’t take 5 years, and this is either really manipulative of him, or really telling of his true feelings
3. I used to date a guy who straight up said he wasn’t going to tell me I’m pretty/ beautiful just because. He hated giving me words of affirmation and even hated holding hands and small intimate touches I would give him on the shoulder (he would literally cringe).
   Now I’m married to a guy who tells me every day that I’m beautiful and he loves me. Life is so much more enjoyable when you’re with a partner who meets your needs.
   Do not stay with this guy if he’s not meeting you at your level. You deserve to be with someone who at least tries to make you happy in ways you’ve communicated that you need.
4. I had a bf who told me kissing me before going to work and when he comes home is too much work.
   I ended it. Know your worth.

Ex-Colleague joining the same company

Recently changed my job only to realise that my toxic ex-colleague is likely to accept an offer in my current workplace.

In the previous workplace, she tend to comment a lot on people’s performances and put other people down just so that she can shine.

She also likes to convey to the other team mates on how the bosses above have negative impression on them just so to create a rift between the two parties. (I was on the receiving end of this and honestly it felt sucky).

What I could not stand about her is how she would loosely share negative information about ex-team mates to other present team mates. (E.g xxx used to have a girlfriend even when he is already married) It’s like I don’t even need to know the individual to know all the ugly sides of him.

Knowing that she is likely to join my current workplace gives me anxiety that she would spread stuff about me to other people (not that I have anything bad for her to spread about).

We would be in the same department and most likely different teams. How would you deal in such a situation?

Netizens’ comments

1. I’ve been in this situation before except my toxic ex colleague was there before me and I didn’t know until I was about to start work.
   It’s great that you’re different team. Hopefully interactions will be minimal. People have eyes to see what kind of person she is. I was very afraid of my toxic ex colleague spreading rumours about me too. Turns out she has a reputation in this co too. So don’t worry too much. People know how to judge for themselves
2. Just ignore her and avoid interaction as far as possible. Anyway such toxic behaviour takes time and familiarity to manifest – given that she’s going to be new, I’d say yon don’t have much to worry about in the short term. Just do your work and don’t let people like that affect you and live rent free in your head.
3. She’s doing this coz she felt threaten by other people, people who she think have the potential to crush and outshine her. So just focus on your tasks and ignore her at best. People have their own eyes and brain to judge.
4. i had a colleague exactly like this. thats what happens when they only have 1 brain cell left to rub against itself
5. Do unto her whatever she has been doing to you. Sometimes that’s the only thing that works if ignoring doesn’t work.

Can property agents do this legally?

Been hearing that in newly TOP-ed developments, there are property agents hanging around in the carparks and slinking into the compound when owners go in.

These agents will loiter in common areas of the property and approach various people asking if they are owners.

Some will even access buildings and knock on people’s homes minutes after they entered their homes for the first time, possibly asking if the owner is keen to sell.

Quite disturbing behaviours and a massive breach of security.

Is this not considered trespassing? Illegal? Why are security doing nothing for this? Apparently this is not just in one development

Sorry I wasn’t clear. This is private condo.

Netizens’ comments

1. Heard of cases where owners collect their keys for first time and agents knocking on their door 15 minutes later asking if they are planning or selling or renting. It’s very obvious which unit have collect their keys cause the handle wrapping would be torn off.
   In such cases, 2 likely scenario: either the agent also bought an investment unit and also owner and taking chance to promote their services to neighbors, or they already marketing one unit in the development and taking the chance to solicit business.
   In general, this is not allowed but also cut the security guard some slack if it’s a newly TOP. Lots of chaos for first few days/couple of weeks with all the key collection, defects ratifications and the guards are understaffed. When things settle down, and this still happens, report it to MCST (you are likely not the only one feeling this)
2. supposed to wear and display their CEA card when carrying out estate work. say you’re interested to sell, ask them to show you their card then take photo and send complaint into CEA. should get disciplinary action.
   dont display card, not visiting, not owner, just straight up dial 999
3. You can report them to security and/or complain to developer.
   I own a newly TOP unit and the security at my place is quite strict because they have orders from the developer. That said a lot of agents still come in somehow (eg with a legitimate client) then stay inside indefinitely …
4. Not wrong if it’s a HDB. The practice has been around for awhile.
   I have had Insurance agents, MLM and even missionaries knocking on my doors before. My mum even bought a 5k vacuum from a door knock salesman lol.
5. Because they are benign opportunistic.
   Worse case get chased out, then plenty of new developments to go to.
   Best case scenario, they gain access to one person on the floor and spread his influence to others.
   Every new development now has a different mix of agendas, in the 90s perhaps there is lesser landlord mindset than today.

Got blood on my boyfriend

Today I hung out with my boyfriend for a few hours this afternoon. During this time, one thing led to another and fingering was involved.

This went on and off for about 30 minutes, taking breaks every now and then. I don’t want to go too far into detail, but right before i leave i notice dried blood on his fingers.

I immediately knew it was from me. I had no idea this would happen, and I’m now super embarrassed.

As soon as i got back I messaged him saying i started my period and he says he got my blood on his fingers. I apologized and he reassured me this was okay, but i feel absolutely embarrassed and I’m currently on the verge of tears.

I feel so gross & like he is going to leave me. I hate my life, should I feel embarrassed or let it go?

Netizens’ comments

1. If he said don’t worry about then don’t worry about it. Men worth having won’t care. It’s not that big of a deal
2. Girl you are totally fine!!
   Accidents happen and a little blood is not a big deal. He obviously isn’t bothered as he told you it’s okay – and if he did make a huge fuss about it, then honestly he’s a tool and you shouldn’t be with someone who makes you ashamed of your body. His reaction was on point – it’s nothing to be upset over.
   I literally accidentally bled on my fwb earlier this week bc I thought my period was over and it wasn’t. I’ve only known this guy for a month. He was super chill about it and then we moved on. Nothing worth fretting over.
3. This is normal and he’s amazing for being understanding Never apologize for biology. Your have no control over this. Life happens. Live it. Be proud of that fact that you have periods. Means everything is working as it should be. You go girl!!!
4. Meh,it happens. Honestly if his reaction was anything less, it wouldn’t be a good sign. Can’t speak for all guys, but I reckon he would just be thinking jeez I got to finger my gf today. And the blood on the finger won’t even come across his mind. 

My (25F) boyfriend (27M) doesn’t want to go on dates because we’ve already won each other over.

My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years now and live together.

Before we got together we would go on dates at least once a week or more, we just instantly clicked and just wanted to see each other all the time, it was sweet.

When we did become official, those dates became once every few weeks which i didn’t mind because life does get in the way and we still doted on each other.

But now, two years into the relationship theres none of that. I still dote on him like the very start of the relationship but all i get is the occasional kiss and him checking on me.

When i do ask if he wants to go on a date he says that theres no point because we’ve already won each other over and theres no need to impress each other anymore and we see each other all the time since we live together.

But all we do is work or sit at home whilst he plays video games and i do whatever to combat boredom.

Am i asking too much? Is it wrong to still want to go on dates?

Am i being too needy and should just leave it?

I don’t know it just makes me sad that we’re not like how we used to be.

Netizens’ comments

1. Going on dates isn’t about impressing the other person – it is about having experiences as a couple. I can’t even imagine being in a relationship where we never go out and do things together.
   How boring. We love trying out new restaurants, taking road trips to new places to walk around and explore, finding fun festivals, etc. These shared experiences bring us closer together.
   You deserve better, and this is not normal. His dream relationship may be one where he just gets to play video games all the time, but yours isn’t, and he’s ignoring your needs.
   If he isn’t open to taking your needs into consideration and finding a happy medium, then you should seriously consider if this is what you want to spend the rest of your life putting up with.
2. Love is like a plant, if it is not watered, it dies. The same applies with love, if there are no dates, there is no time as a couple, details or talk, the relationship begins to die, you are not asking for anything from heaven, just have dates from time to time and that is fine
3. Tell him that he hasn’t won you over and that he’s losing you. Let him know that it is a big deal to you