MANY years ago, I used to work as a model, and I did some “interesting” stuff and photoshoots. No big deal. I quit that career when I got married and became pregnant. I had my baby, and enough time had gone by, that I wanted to get a part-time job. My only other work experience was bartending, and the modelling.

I decided to apply for a job at a bar, that requires the bartenders to be attractive females, that dress in outfits. Figured this would be good, because I’d make about as much money working 2-3 nights a week, as what I’d make at a regular bar 5-6 nights a week.

They had an online application that requested a photo from the waist up (yes, this is normal for places like that. They call them “auditions”, instead of interviews, in order to get away with this, as well as only hiring certain “types”. I bartended before I started the modelling thing).

I browsed through the photos on my laptop and found the one I wanted to use. A trick I used in order to find a photo to attach quickly, was to rename it “A”, in a certain folder, then delete it after it was sent. So that’s exactly what I did. Attached “A”, and submitted the application.

The website said my submission was successful and showed a preview of the whole thing, including a little icon of the photo I submitted. Instead of just my own eyes staring back at me in that photo, were my 2 oiled up bewbs.

WTH HAVE I JUST DONE?!?!?!! I looked in the photo folder, and I had forgotten to delete the last photo I had named “A”, which just so happened to be a very suggestive photo from one of my old photoshoots. The one I meant to send had been saved as “A1”, without me noticing.

I found the direct email address to the manager (who was luckily female), apologized and told her how mortified I was. She responded the next morning saying something like “Oh don’t worry, it happens all the time. Come in anytime this week from 4-6pm for an audition”.

BS it happens all the time!!!!! And there was NO WAY in hell I could show my face there now. Guaranteed it had been shown to everyone that worked there. I decided to hold off on going back to work for the time being. That was definitely the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done to myself in my life.

My boyfriend and I have been together for the past three years, sleeping together actively for two and a half years. I have always been an A cup size, A cup on a good day, and it has never been an issue before.

I often go on his phone and look through his old Instagram stories at videos of us together when I’m feeling sentimental/romantic.

To go there, you have to click a sort down bar on your profile. Right underneath the “Your Archives” button is a “Your Activities” button.

That tab apparently saves all the links you click while in the app. His links were full of busty women websites. I’m not an idiot, I know how guys are and I expected him to be curious with this kind of stuff.

What hurts me is that those women look NOTHING like me. Not the chest size, not the butt size, not even the same skin colour. I went to sleep feeling like a piece of …. on a public toilet seat.

The next day, he could see something was on my mind so I told him about it. He laughed it off at first thinking I was joking until he saw how serious I was being.

He didn’t apologize, he didn’t say anything really except that he didn’t know Instagram saves stuff like that. I tried to bring it up multiple times that day with no success so my self-esteem continued to fall the longer we didn’t talk.

I felt the urge to end it for the first time in years (I didn’t) but you could see how bad this news hit me.

The next day, yesterday, he finally put in the effort to speak with me about it. He told me it was an addiction, that he went on once or twice a week to specifically view that category WHILE I was in the shower.

Before all this, I always invited him into the shower with me. He really couldn’t be bothered to join me so I could take care of his needs and instead wanted to do it by himself to a picture on a screen.

What should I do?

I apologise if this isn’t the right place to post this! Boyfriend and I, both 20, have been together for almost 3 years now, next month marks our 3rd year together.

My boyfriend has been in NS for around a year now. He’s been so tired and shag since day 1 and his mood is quite bad. He snaps at me over little things sometimes and sometimes this causes some arguments but at the end of the day, I try my best to understand he doesn’t mean his words and he’s just frustrated with life.

We don’t go out on dates anymore, I only see him when I fetch him from or send him to his camp, or when I go over to his house during the weekends and chill (i do nothing, or maybe I study or entertain myself with my phone) while he plays games and/or sleep.

He doesn’t initiate to do anything with me tbh, though he still goes along with it when I suggest to cook together, binge a show together etc , I feel like he would much rather just game or sleep.

I can feel the difference in energy and I understand it is because he is tired from NS. We still f each other though, he’s still very enthusiastic and excited for that lol…

But it all just makes me wonder then why am I here and what is the point of our relationship? He used to bring me out on dates and we used to have fun doing things together, but now he says he’s too tired from NS and just wants to stay home and rest and have his free time which I also understand.

although it makes me sad that he cannot even sacrifice a bit of his gaming hours and spend quality time with me once every couple of weeks but maybe that’s asking for too much..

I mean we still do spend some time outside , for example a meal together after bookout before heading home, and I think to him that counts as an actual date.

But yeah idk, I just feel like he doesn’t care for our relationship anymore, doesn’t seem to put in effort anymore, but he always assures me he is just tired and when I complain any further or ask for more we sometimes argue as well with him claiming I’m not understanding but I’m really trying my best 🙁 It’s tiring as I’m busy with uni as well, so our increased arguments are just finally taking a toll on me.

Ah sorry for the long post I am bad with words and just needed to let out all my thoughts

Before he enlisted, things were much better (He has always had a bad temper, but he used to control it well with me). But now, I just feel like an outlet for his frustration? Irdk. He doesn’t want to do “bf gf” things with me anymore and I just feel he’s changed quite a bit and it worries me.

I don’t want this to be forever. Friends are telling me to break up with him but I really don’t want to because I really love him a lot and I’m still hopeful.

We briefly talked about the possibility of breaking up, and he said he has no intention to but he said in my case it is up to me whether I can stick with him throughout NS or not, and that everything will be better after NS as he will have more time to give to me, and he won’t be so tired etc.

Will his NS life get better and become kinder to him in the following year? I wish he would just be happier 🙁 And after he’s done with NS will he really go back to his old self or would ns have changed him?

Is it normal for guys to change so much after enlisting? And if it is, do things actually get better after NS? Or how can I better help him through this remaining year?

Advice for a virgin (21F) who’s used to getting herself off in a prone position

I have been pleasuring myself in a prone position (lying on my stomach and grinding the bed) for years now and have only managed to come through this method.

I did enjoy getting fingered roughly by my ex and I feel I could’ve come given enough time but I get tired when I do it myself.

I’m going to lose my virginity in a few days through a planned hookup with some random guy who I find hot.

I know the first time is going to be painful anyway but could you guys suggest some ways for me to come on my back/through penetration instead of lying on my stomach, which I have gotten used to?

I haven’t touched myself in about 10 days. I just wanna ensure that me and my future partner have a good time. I’ve always been extremely insecure about this

Netizens’ comments

1. Ok first off, it shouldn’t hurt. You’re 21 so realistically you’ve probably already broken your hymen just from existing. If it hurts, you need lube (ordinarily I’d say you aren’t aroused enough but losing your vcard can be nerve-wracking so that can counteract the arousal).
2. Yup, keep stimulating yourself with your fingers or toy while he penetrates you, go slow, enjoy each stroke, tell him to start off shallow and keep it shallow as long as you’re comfortable. Tell him to squeeze you and massage your back while he penetrates you
3. I lost my virginity in the prone position. Just tell this guy that’s the way you want to do it.
4. You have lots and lots of other options to try but I’ve typically been disappointed when a woman has an obvious preference for the prone position but didn’t say anything to me.

My mom is 68, single, has no job, no savings, no house of her own, and can’t maintain a job – what can I do for her?

My mom is 68 years old and basically has no savings account or job or home of her own. She has been renting a room off the allowance she gets from me which is not much (less than 1k).

This rented room doesn’t seem like this will be a permanent place she can stay. She has been separated from my father for about 14 years now and I am her only child.

She also doesn’t have any other family to help or lean on besides me and I am not in a financial situation that I can pull her out of this either.

She is not exactly the most sound of mind all the time which has basically led her to this dilemma. My question is what kind of assistance or just anything could be done for her?

Does anyone know of anything such as resources I could help her with to try and make her situation better? (Housing, food, or anything that can help keep a constant roof over her head?)

I know she isn’t the only one in this situation so I am just trying to figure out what others have found or done. Anything help, thanks!

Netizens’ comments

1. OP I just want you to know that you are an amazing person for taking care of your mother the way you are.
   May you have many blessings in both your future.
2. You can probably check her in to an assisted living facility like a hospice or elderly home where they can take care of her full time.
3. This is my mom but worse.
   I think she has dementia or something but doctors “haven’t found anything” and she refuses to let me talk to them. Yet she’s always asking me for help. She’s incredibly forgetful and lazy. I think she has some intellectual disability but no tests have been done but it’s obvious. She sees a therapist and psychiatrist, I know they know something is wrong

So I have been seeing this guy for the last two months and till now, we seem quite compatible with each other. For context, I am 29 and he’s 33.

We are both well-settled in our careers and before becoming exclusive with each other, we discussed all the important bits. Like our goals and aspirations, how do we envision us with our partner, do we want children, etc. etc., and it all seemed to align.

He is someone who never shies away from showing his emotion. He makes me feel valued, loved, and cared.

Now, coming back to the point of this post. We have a really, really fulfilling bedroom life. It’s really good. Probably the best I’ve ever had. And he’s naturally dominant in bed, whereas I am naturally submissive. Which has honestly worked great for both of us.

Since becoming exclusive, almost every time we f, especially every time we are doing it in the missionary position, he will kinda growl in my ear saying, “You’re mine”.

Two week back, when we were doing the deed, he choked me (yes we have discussed it before and have a safe word in place. No he doesn’t choke me so hard that I can’t talk). Anyway, while he was choking me and f-ing me slowly, he whispered in my ear, and I came so hard.

Like most women, I can’t climax from PIV. I need stimulation. This is the first time it has happened. And of course, I told him the same the next morning.

Now, I do find that really hot and flattering, but I am wondering if it is a normal thing for him to say it on an almost regular basis.

Is that a possessive thing? Or controlling? Or is it because I shared that he was the first guy I came with just from PIV?

I’m a 25F but realised younger guys who are still serving NS are interested in me. Why though? I have only been interested in older guys or guys around my age.

They can be 1 to 5 years younger than me. Or is it because I’m working in an environment where the younger guys or National Service Singaporean guys are at, and that’s why I attract those age group. Cause I have only been interested in older guys or guys around my age.

And those guys do know that I’m definitely older than them….

Netizens’ comments

1. What kind of stupid question is this. You can like older guys, they cannot like older women?
2. If you are deemed physically attractive, guys will be interested in you. Even if you’re X years older. Not everyone has a strict set of requirements to get interested in someone simply put 🙂
3. It is called NS goggles. These guys are extremely deprived of women
4. NS guys interested in everybody lah as long as you not downright unattractive.
5. I’m a 41M and realized many younger ladies are interested in me as well. So I get to know them better and knn lah..interested in my CPF only. 
6. It’s pretty normal. I was posted to the hospital as a medic and half the guys had their eyes on a 30 year old nurse. Including me.
7. As long as you are not encik’s grandmother, it’s fair game for all the NSFs
8. You’re interested in older guys but are confused about why some guys are interested in older women? I don’t see what’s strange about it, is there something left unstated in your question? Are they approaching you inappropriately or something?
9. So you like older men. Why is it so weird for NS men to like older women?
10. It’s to be expected when you work in a male dominated environment. But hey, at least this means you are attractive enough, a good self confidence boost

Does anyone get anxiety from spending money (even on necessities) due to low pay, increased cost of living?

I have been dealing with this kind of anxiety about 4 years ago. Not sure/can’t remember what triggered it.

I avoid gatherings with my friends so in the end I have no friends.

Today I went out for lunch with my co-workers. Most of the food were >$4.50. Not sure about caifan because they didn’t indicate the price. But I had anxiety spending the $4.50. I got anxious.

My ‘fight or flight’ response was triggered. I was on the ‘flight’; I thought of telling my co-workers I have some last minute issues and escape so that I don’t need to buy lunch.

After standing rooted to the ground contemplating for a few minutes, I still forced myself to buy a meal to mingle with the team. Because it’s damn embarrassing.

Am I the only one having extreme anxiety and fear about finances with the increased cost of living? What can I do? I know the obvious answer is to earn my money but I can’t change job.

Netizens’ comments

Stressing over a $4.50 cai fan is extreme. Imo you should first understand the current state of your finances and whether anot worrying is warranted. This would involve actively tracking all sources of income and expenditure. You should also ensure you have safety nets present for yourself and dependents i.e., emergency funds, insurance etc.

Once you have the boring stuff out of the way you should then evaluate and consider the kind of life you want to lead. This will be very helpful in ensuring you can set realistic budget expectations. When deciding to spend money, if its within your budget spend without worry, else dont purchase it. Note that your emergency fund should be 6-12 months of ur monthly expenses / budget. Once this is done you can look towards investing.

Also If your salary cannot meet the lifestyle you want, then you have to either increase your salary (duh) or lower your expectations.

Comparison is the theif of joy, just because somebody has nice fancy cars, homes doesnt mean you need to have them too. I have a friend who makes 5 figures, stays in condo, drives a lexus but still constantly wishes he had more money so he can afford a bigger home / nicer car like his colleagues. If only i were in his shoes..

Ultimately, i believe that once you take action and gain control over your finances you probably would be less stress / anxious.

Tldr:

1. Track your monthly expenses
2. Set a realistic budget
3. When spending money, if within budget spend freely, else dont spend.
4. Save your excess salary and invest the rest once you have 6-12 months of ur monthly expenses saved up.