My (M32) recent girlfriend (F30) is asking for “spa money” from me, instead of using her own. It makes me pretty uncomfortable that she want’s me to just give her money.

So I’ve been dating this girl for a few months now and things have been going good for the most part. She’s been upfront that she wants a more “traditional” relationship, whereas I’m more modern.

If we get married one day she says she wants quit work to be a stay at home wife and homemaker. I’m more of the mindset that we should share household responsibilities regardless.

To get to the point at hand, we’re not even living together yet and we’ve only been dating since late February. She’s mentioned times in the past that she often gets her parents to pay for her beauty supplies, makeup, or spa trips now and then, despite the fact that she works her own full time job as a vet assistant.

Last night she slept over, and this morning before I left for work she asked for some spa money so she could go there and treat herself after work.

I told her I’d think about it and get back to her, but it kind of makes me uncomfortable that she’s even asking for my money to do this instead of using her own.

I’ve bought her things when we’re together before, paid the bill whenever we go out, brought her flowers and lunch to her work, but never just given her cash.

Do a lot of women expect their partners to just give them “fun money”, or pay for solo spa trips?

Thinking about it, she did buy a Keurig for my place a while back, maybe paying for a spa trip evens it out?? I don’t know. It makes me feel pretty used to just give her cash though.

TL;DR: Girlfriend of ~3 months is asking for money to go to a spa after work by herself. It makes me uncomfortable she’s asking for my money instead of using her own, even though she has a job.

Share your WORST UNCENSORED experiences working at a SME.

I will start first. I worked at a SME that had secret voice recorders implanted in the office. He had some voice recognition program whenever the staff mentioned the boss’s name, he gets notified.

He admitted to doing this to a current working staff after firing a few staff members.

Boss is also very stingy and doesn’t pay for OT. Even gave false promises to poach people to join the company, only for them to leave a few months later after they found out.

Thank god I’m out of there LOL

Netizens’ comments

1. Ratio of full time staff (including upper management which is just the boss’s family and friends) to interns is 4:6.
   Not even sure which company you’re supposed to be under, can just pull you to man booth sell their other stuff when that’s not even your main job or what you were trained for.
   Talked about that one intern many years ago that did very well then expects every single intern to be like that. Boss has anger management issues too. Actually a messed up place.
2. The startup was so new that the computers had not arrived so we were told under direct instruction from boss to use our personal laptops. After being unceremoniously fired, colleague got issued a threatening letter saying they did a cybersecurity hazard by using personal computers despite there being work computers. (There were no company computers). Also threatened to report ex colleague to their part time workplace.
3. Not very bad but i hold a deep grudge.
4. Need to work on Saturday every other week. Phone rang, person asked for manager, i said he’s not in for this saturday, then immediately ask for lady boss, so i transfer the call to her. Apparently the person need to ask things on my department, this person got her name from invoice because she signed every invoice. She called me after the call then chewed me for 15 mins just because i transferred a call that’s mentioned her name.
   I hope she’s ridden with diseases.
5. Complain when people take even 1 minute longer than 1 hour lunch break, the boss literally turns on a timer from the moment you leave the office
6. Usually in a SME, the boss will hire his/her friends.
   In my previous company, When my boss friends take unpaid leave or urgent leave, it will always be approved.
   When I take my annual leave, it will always be declined. 99% of the time. The reason is lame as hell. (Due to operational needs.) KNS.

It took me (22M) a long time to come to terms with this but I have a very strong mommy issues. (TL;DR I grew up with an emotionally absent mother and today I am turned on by women who treat me badly. Yes I am currently in therapy.)

My GF (27F) and I have been together for seven months. Initially I was too nervous and ashamed to tell her about my turn ons. At the same time neglecting my desires left me unfulfilled. However I started to trust her more as we continued to experiment and explore in the bedroom.

A couple months into our relationship I explained it to her and we incorporated it into our bedroom activities. For the first time I truly ‘let go’ and let my guard down.

Like I said…I deeply trusted her. But after a while her (female) friends started to make odd comments and jokes. It was clear to me that they knew more about my relationship than they let on. But I was in denial mode.

At first I just ignored them. However one evening we went out and one of her friends got drunk. This friend jokingly said that she still doesn’t understand how a “big, tough guy” like me has mommy issues. (Btw at the time my GF was swimming and wasn’t made aware of the incident til later).

To say I was shocked is an understatement. This information was clearly supposed to be kept secret as the girls told her to shut up and apologized to me. I just denied it and decided to go home early.

Later on I received a text from another friend of hers who tried to reassure me but it just made everything worse.

I cannot describe the level of betrayal/embarrassment I feel. I don’t understand why she told them about our bedroom activities in the first place.

I don’t know how many of her friends know. We had plenty of arguments and she said that I have nothing to worry about as her friends aren’t judgmental anyway.

I told her that she humiliated me by breaching my trust and therefore cannot trust her again. She claims that I just need to “relax” and realize that I’m overreacting to the whole situation. She even said that I’m being dramatic for being angry as her friends think my kink is “cute” anyway.

Any useful advice? I love her and she’s not perfect but Im not sure I can eve trust her again.

My boyfriend cheated on me with a coworker

i was at my boyfriends house yesterday, watching tiktoks together on my phone. it eventually lead to him just having my phone and i had his in return.

while i didn’t originally intend to do this, i snooped through some of his messages, as he is always friendly with girls and there are a few i was suspicious of.

i look through two girls chats and find nothing. i eventually reach his coworkers chat (i checked snapchat first) and opened the profile to look at saved photos.

i saw a bunch of selfies of her and a few of my boyfriend but my heart sank when i saw a shower selfie (neck-chest) my bf had sent to her.

i tried to brush it off and i went to his text messages. i tried to hold myself back from clicking her name, i wasn’t sure if i wanted to know what was behind it, but i’ve had girls flirt with my bf before and it’s not unusual for him to “ignore it” as he finds these girls important enough to keep in his life and ignore their blatant disrespect.

anyways, i click on her name and the most recent messages were just before he quit his job where they both worked, they read “i miss you” and he said the same.

i scrolled up and felt a wave of heat throughout my body as i read. i read messages of them expressing their attraction towards each other (you’re cute, you’re fine), the girl asking how he liked the feel of her a** and thighs to which he would reply “you’re so soft, you’re so cute.”

i was shaking heavily and took pictures of what i read. i confronted him that day and he denied nothing and told me everything.

that happened yesterday and i’m still on edge of what i should do. he said they never slept together and i believe him (i believe the messages would be worse if so) but i’m also doubting if i can ever trust him again.

he’s a good bf, does everything right, but couldn’t control himself that one time, for the one girl that gives him everything.

it hurts especially since he knows the pain of being cheated on. i want to give him a second chance, he’s my first bf, my first everything, i’m terrified of not having him in my life anymore, but i also don’t want to be lied to again.

i feel stupid for wanting to stay, but i don’t want to leave. do i bother believing in second chances?

Touched on the neck by a visually impaired person

I (29F) feel like i might be low key overreacting so wanted to get your opinion on this.

This afternoon I was walking from the green line to circle line at Buona Vista. Saw this visually impaired man who was asking for help but no one stopped for him, so I approached him and told him that I was also walking to the circle line, why not walk together.

He placed his hand on my shoulder (usually visually impaired people will hold your shoulder or elbow) but after walking for about 2 mins I felt his fingers on my neck. I told him to stop, he apologised and we continued walking. Another minute later, I felt his fingers on my neck again and I told him again to stop. He kept asking if it’s because I was ticklish, I said no, then said that he has a nurse who allows him to touch her neck.

I immediately told him that I don’t like it, and to stop. Didn’t want to leave him there as we were on the escalator and it seemed quite dangerous to just abandon someone who’s visually impaired there. He stopped touching my neck, then started to caress my hair. Again, I told him to stop, and luckily by then we already reached the circle line so he got on his train and left.

I’m struggling now because I feel quite violated and wish I was more firm and even think that I should have just ditched him even if we were on the escalator, but also I feel terrible that he’s visually impaired and might have fallen if I left him alone.

Netizens’ comments

1. I’d report him to the police. Not right to make use of others empathy towards you to commit a crime. If u felt harassed, u r being harassed. You’re most probably not his first victim. Maybe that’s why nobody helped him in the first place.
2. That’s a big yikes.
   I don’t think it’s overreacting at all if you’ve already told him to stop it and yet he keeps doing this shit. And the question he asked is just fucking weird.
   Being visually impaired doesn’t give you a free pass for being a creep.
3. i want to preface this by saying disability and crime is not mutually exclusive. you can be disabled and still commit a crime.
   having a disability isn’t a free pass for someone to commit any sort of crime, and that includes indecent acts towards another person.
   make no mistake: he is the perpetrator and should be punished as such, you are the victim and should not be made to feel otherwise. report it and he will be punished accordingly, let the io/judge decide if his disability is a mitigating factor, but absolutely do not let him get away scot free with this type of disgusting behaviour, he will only be emboldened to continue similar crimes.

I (35 female), have been good friends with my friend (38 female) for about 10 years. Over the course of our friendship, we’ve been there for each other through ups & downs of our romantic relationships and partners, break ups, moving homes, being supportive of each other, etc….

She has been together with her long term boyfriend (40 male) for 4 years, while I have been with my fiancé (38 male) for 3 years. She’s been living with her boyfriend since the Covid lock down at the beginning of their relationship & I moved in with my partner 6 months into our relationship.

My fiancé proposed to me very close to our two year anniversary. Once this occurred, my friend completely ghosted me, and our entire friend group for a full month. I didn’t pry, but did check in at least once a week on her. I sent texts stating I hope she was okay & if she needed anything at all to reach out & I’ll be there to support her.

At a dinner party towards the end of this ghosting period, but not before; our mutual friend let it be known that our friend was MIA from the dinner party & had been MIA for the past month because she was jealous of my engagement & another couple’s engagement which occurred a few months prior to mine.

She was upset that my relationship had progressed to engagement so quickly, & that our other friends got engaged after dating for 6 years; all the while she’d been with her boyfriend for the past 3 years without any hint of a proposal.

I say all this, because this is how my friend thinks. She’s always comparing herself to others, & she’s settling for her current boyfriend of 4 years.

Now to the boyfriend of my friend. He is a raging alcoholic. He drinks a bottle of bourbon every night to sleep. He will get so drunk he can’t find their bathroom & will pee in dresser drawers, on the bed, in a corner, etc… He drinks on the job, and has been fired from multiple positions because of this.

All of this is bad enough, but my friend enables him. The boyfriend doesn’t have a license anymore (It was suspended due to multiple DUIs, then expired). Yet she allows him to drive her car every day, will buy him liquor, & take him to bars to drink. She doesn’t let him drive when they go out thank god. Now the enabling is not great, but her boyfriend is mean and rude to not only her when he drinks, but to myself and our other friends as well. He’s called multiple people slur names, has yelled at my friend multiple times in front of the public eye, he’s rude to wait staff, & it’s embarrassing to be out in public with them due to his ignorance.

With this background, here’s my question/issue:

My wedding is going to be an open bar. I don’t want to include my friend’s boyfriend because of his alcoholism. Our wedding is in an industrial space, so safety is a concern. In addition his attitude & rudeness is the main issue I have. I don’t want to deal with him. However, my friend is so far down the road with blinders on, she would see it as the biggest slight if I do not invite him to the wedding & would potentially even end our friendship if I don’t invite him.

How do I breech the subject of her not receiving a plus one, because I’m not comfortable with him attending?

Just SME things maybe

My manager has a lot on her plate, but is somehow still pretty damn quick at publicly pointing out our mistakes whenever she spots them, some of which weren’t even mistakes to begin with.

As an example, I sent an email to a client a couple of days ago requesting for a document, and they replied the day after; however our email host automatically sends a reminder email every 48 hours, which the client naturally replied to as well. Manager just asked me in front of the whole office why I sent the email when they had already sent the document, as though I was the one at fault, without even checking the timestamps first.

She also likes to gripe about work stuff to us – Like how X department should be handling Y job scope, why this person didn’t handle this job, etc… But she doesn’t actually DO anything about it in the end! I like my job and all, but ngl this can get pretty tiring at times.

I’d like to hear if anyone else currently working in a SME has any similar experiences, and how would you handle this?

Here are what netizens think:

• SMEs don’t really have compartmentalization of functions due to scale, and is usually chronically short handed, change to a big shop lor.

• U can also reply her to ask the email host why it send out the email again and who made it this way publicity.

• Be good in your job so that you don’t have to work with idiots

You think Bill gates or Elon got wear amulet anot, many people quick get rich 4D scheme. But end up more poor

I remember when I was a kid, I had an amulet that my grandmother gave me. She said it would protect me from all sorts of bad luck and evil spirits. I thought it was cool and wore it all the time. Little did I know that this amulet was nothing more than a piece of rock with a few symbols carved into it. It had no real power, it was just a superstition.

As I grew older, I started to realize that relying on bogus amulets and “magic” superstition was pretty silly. I mean, how can something like that really protect you from anything? It doesn’t make any sense.

Nowadays, I see more and more people relying on bogus amulets and superstition to make their lives better. They think that if they just wear the amulet or perform a certain ritual, everything will be okay. But of course, that’s not the case.

I believe that people who rely on bogus amulets and superstition are “low in IQ”. They lack the wisdom to understand that these things are nothing more than superstitions. They don’t understand the power of knowledge and science. They think that just because something sounds good, it must be true.

In my opinion, people who rely on bogus amulets and superstition are not only “low in IQ”, but they’re also easily taken advantage of. There are people out there who prey on these people and try to make money off of them. They’ll promise them all sorts of things that will never come true, just so they can make a quick buck.

The only way to really protect yourself from bogus amulets and superstition is to educate yourself. Read up on the science behind the superstitions and understand what’s real and what’s not. Don’t fall for the claims of people who are trying to make money off of you.

Don’t rely on bogus amulets and superstition. Instead, rely on your own knowledge and common sense. People who rely on bogus amulets and superstition are only fooling themselves. They may think they’re getting some sort of magical protection, but in reality, they’re just making themselves vulnerable to exploitation. Be wise and don’t fall for it.

Family are nuts and dirty

Home is hell and I hate to stay at home. People in my family are nuts, I have no one to talk about this to. Currently left 1 year of study.

People in my family are nuts. (Personal matter) mother doesnt listen and always repeat the same stuff to me although I tell her is not possible. Brother has some sort of personality disorder or sth else and doesn’t want to seek help. Father is stubborn and has old minded thinking.

I live with father and brother, they are f**king dirty and unhygienic plus father treats me like a maid, making a mess.

How far do I have to tolerate until I cannot take it? How much is too much until I have to move out?

Here are what netizens think:

• Try to give tuition and use the funds to move out completely without turning back. Your studies are important, so is your sanity. It’s also an opportunity to manage your time with studies and work combined to prepare for the working world too. Jia you!

• You need to be financially independent from your parents first before you can even think of moving out and staying on your own. Until you gain independence, try to work your life around your home situation. You may find it intolerable now, but trust me, when you have been through rock bottom at home, you’ll gain a lot of life experience and can use the lessons learnt to tackle working life too.

• I know of a person who have quite a worse family situation. The person situation same as u but was quite worse and more complications. Maybe you can talk to your parents or consider renting. Sometimes we have to endure and tolerate situation that we hate.

• I went through this, once I had a job secured and was in my last semester at uni, I rented a room at a friend’s house and moved out, then I never talked to them again. The mistake I made was not moving out sooner. Move out when you can and get counselling after you’re gone.

• Where does Heaven and Hell comes from? From your own mind. What we like, we call it Heaven. What we hate, we call it Hell. All such discrimination arises only from very own perception shaped by our own upbringing, education, social conditioning. That’s means if you grow up in a different country in a different family, you will become a completely different person from who you are today.