So my wife’s twin sister moved in with us 6 months ago after leaving her husband. Initially, it was weird because they’re identical, but my wife’s sister (I’ll refer to her as Jenny) tried to make it easier for me to tell them apart by wearing a red ribbon on her hair but sometimes they mess around dress alike and be silly.

So we were having drinks at home and all of us got super drunk and both my wife and her sister did not have a ribbon on her head and things started getting confused.

I went to the toilet and came back and noticed that the twin sister is gone from her seat. I assumed that she had gone to sleep.

I sat with my “wife” on the couch and we started making out and we did it in the living room. After we were done I went back to my room and I was horrified. I saw my wife sleeping on the bed and that means that I did it with the twin sister.

I got sober immediately but the mental stress made me so tired I went to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up and everything was normal. My wife’s twin sister put on the ribbon and look at me and place a finger over her lips.

While my wife was washing the plates she came to my ear and whispered: “This is our secret and it’s one off”.

I was confused, excited and afraid at the same time. I whisper back “How bout next time with the both of you”. She pushed my head and said, “dream on”.

It’s an honest mistake, I did not know and I was too drunk to tell. The fault is with my wife’s sister right?

What should I do? Should I tell my wife about it?

So…this all started after an amazing day. My bff came over to hang out and meet my boyfriend. A few other friends were over, but they eventually left and it was just us 3 left. This is not an uncommon scenario…this friend and I have known each other for most of our lives, but we got super close 10 years ago when we both were pregnant at the same time.

During part of our friendship, we were both married and would hang out at times almost every day at one of our houses (She is still married. I’m divorced). We also do a lot of joint sleepovers with our kids and have for years because we both have girls of similar ages. Nothing has ever happened with either of us and the other person’s husband or boyfriend. Ever.

This time was different.

We all started drinking. My bf is not a big drinker. My friend is, but she stopped drinking for January and has only drunk a handful of times. I don’t know if that contributed because their tolerance was lower…I don’t know. All I know is we drank a TON of wine.

I woke up on the couch and had a pillow and blanket. I went to my room and my door was locked. I had to kind of break the door handle a bit to open it (luckily it is an older house). When I came in, both my bf and my friend were in the bed together, but on opposite ends, not touching or anything. I thought it was weird that they were both in the bed together and the door was locked, and I wasn’t really sure why it wasn’t both us girls or me and my bf up there. I woke up my bf and asked why I was left on the couch and he said that I had passed out and there was nowhere else for them to sleep, so they both slept in my bed and passed out. He told me to get in the bed with them and I did between them. My friend was still asleep. So I get in between them and then I realize he is in his underwear. I’m like wtf and asked him why he was in his underwear with my friend. He said he always sleeps in his underwear and he was drunk and not thinking.

So, then I kind of lift the covers and see my friend is in her thong. This girl and I have slept together many a time after drinking and she has never slept in a thong. So, I ask him about it and he confesses that they may have fooled around some. So, after about 24 hours of talking about this, processing it, etc, this is what I have been told by my bf:

He says we were all just talking and having a great time when I suggested a threesome. My friend was rubbing on my leg and he said I looked like I was going to make out with her. He said we all started talking about it, and then I got tired and went to sleep. He went and got me a pillow.

He was going to go he said, but my friend told him to go stay in the bed and she would stay on the floor. He told her not to do that, that she should sleep in the bed. He said he had every intention of her sleeping in the bed, and him leaving, but she said she wasn’t ready to go to bed yet, and wanted to drink more wine, so they drank wine and talked.

I don’t know how to continue…

For some context, my 84 y.o grandfather is from my father’s side so my mother isn’t biologically related to him.

My father passed away several years ago, and my grandmother (grandfather’s wife) also passed away about 2 years ago. My mom and I have never really been close to my grandfather but since my dad’s and grandma’s passing we’ve tried to reach out more and provide more support since he’s really struggling and grief-stricken on his own.

My mom has this routine of dropping off this specific brand of bread to my grandpa’s place whenever he’s low on bread even though he goes grocery shopping with my uncle every Sunday and can easily get the bread himself.

My mom has also been acting very visibly uncomfortable when my grandfather greets us all with hugs which I never understood. She just recently revealed to me that she’s been acting uncomfortable because when she goes to drop off bread and asks my grandpa if he needs anything else, he has said multiple times that he “does need something more but she never gives it to him”, and also makes a lot of comments about how young she looks.

So she suspects he only wants her to drop off bread so he has the chance to see her alone.

He also has winked at her after making these types of comments, and she said he’s even slapped her butt before. He’s never done or said anything inappropriate to me but after learning this it’s changed my perception of my grandfather completely and I kind of want nothing to do with him anymore, or to at least confront him about it, because he has kept questioning me about why my mom acts so distant and uncomfortable around him.

My mom won’t go to visit him by herself anymore and will sometimes get me and my brother to drop off the bread. I don’t really know what to do or believe since it’s very hard to envision my grandfather in this way, especially since he’s still in so much pain from losing my grandma, but my mom would never lie about something like this.

We plan to have dinner with him on his birthday since no one else is visiting him but I don’t know if I’ll be able to face him. Should I bring this up with him? Question him? Tell other family members about it? Cut off all contact with him?

I got a friend who likes to buy 2nd hand branded items from second hand shops or pawnshop, even though he may not really like it or the products don’t really suit him (eg ladies items)

He keeps a microsoft word document which he records amount gained and amount loss

Eg. He recently bought a chopard ladies watch from pawnshop for 7.5k. Before buying it, he took a picture of the watch and check with chopard boutique on the price. He was told it cost $27 100 and it had stop production. He quickly bought it from the pawnshop even though its a ladies watch and record in his word document that he gained $27 100 – buy at $7.5k = $19 600.

Eg. He will use his coporate insurance which gives him unlimited visits to the panel of clinics. He will go to the clinics to take free medicine. Than he will check with guardian how much it cost. He will than add on in the word document eg add on that he gained $100 today from the free medicines that he gets.

Eg when he go for surgery as a subsided patient. He pay $5k for the surgery. He will try to call private specialist in mouth elizabeth, glenaneagles hopsital etc to check how much they charge for this surgery. They tell him it will cost 20k. He will record in his word document that he gained $15k from the surgery.

Eg. He needs to pay for term life insurance and shield plan. He will deduct this amount in his word document. Eg deduct $900 for term plan insurance premium and deduct $400 for shield plan for year 2022.

Eg. Some items he buy already don’t like and he sell it. Eg he buy a $400 LV wallet and record in the word document he gained $300 as he check with LV boutique who told him the original price is $700. Later he sell the LV wallet to second hand shop for $100. He will record in the word document to deduct $300 for loss in selling LV wallet abd deduct the previous $300 that he recorded as gain.

Do you know of anybody who is like this?

Do you think he is a siao lang?

Mum’s going to jail – what to do?

For context, my dad’s dead, it’s just my mum and I. She refuses to let me in on the court details but I definitely know she’s going to jail.

Im still reeling over everything but right now I’m pretty worried about all the financial consequences, especially since she’s the primary breadwinner and I’m only in poly Y1.

I don’t know if I should drop out and work or what I should do in general? I don’t know who is going to pay the house bills, my school fees, all that.

I just turned 18 so I can definitely take care of myself but not gonna lie, the cost of living in SG is so high i don’t know what to do without a stable income and all that.

Technically I have maternal aunts and uncles in SG that might be able to take me in but they all kind of hate my mum cus of some family drama, but I don’t really know them and have never spoken to them

Any advice?

EDIT: I also have a younger sister in primary school and im scared if we will be separated. I can take care of myself but I have to admit, it will be quite tough to also take care of her. I want the best for her even if it means sending her to someone who can provide for her better, but I have an irrational fear that I will never see her again

Netizens’ comments

1. Don’t drop out if you are doing fine in school. Get help from a social worker.
2. There are avenues to seek help from (FSCs for one). It is near impossible that you will never see your sis again, unless she is the one who doesn’t want to see you. It isn’t how our government work for cases like these.
   I think the question here is what the plan here is. Are you planning to stay together with your sister? Are you planning to live separately?
   Wanted to dm you to give you advice but seems you disabled your dm function.
3. Is your house paid? Does she have any savings that you can use to pay for your expenses? How long is she going to jail? Find out more before panicking or making any decision

to all singaporeans, how do you know if you are unattractive?

or when did you realise you are unattractive?

I’ve never once thought that i was pretty/ugly and believed that i’m truly average. Until i realised I might be unattractive bordering ugly as i’ve never been approach/hit on by anyone despite everyone saying how girls get hit on a lot.

i’ve heard my friends sharing about being approached but that has never happened to me before. I think it might not be personality either as i don’t really have problems making friends.

this has unfortunately affected my confidence a lot, and is even starting to even affect me making new friends as my self esteem is being hit hard and i feel nervous approaching others thinking that they would not want to me associated or seen with me.

i realised that we always stay as friends and i am always the one taking initiative to keep convos going on with guys? while they don’t seem to put in as much efforts 🙁 while my friends are constantly sharing how they received paragraphs and quick replies from guys around them.

i’m still in uni so everyone tells me not to worry but i’m truly worried i’ll die alone, though i really try to put myself out there and let nature takes it course but i can’t help but feel like something is wrong with me 🙁

how do you guys know if you are unattractive? how do you work on it? I have tried dressing better etc but it does not seem to work. on the thinner side either so i think it might just be my face…

Netizens’ comments

1. When I realise the girls who approached me are only those insurance agents at the MRT stations
2. When even the caipng auntie can’t bring herself to call you 帅哥/美女…
3. One time I was out drinking with a friend (we’re both girls) and this drunk dude randomly came to our table, sat down and tried to chat my friend up. He kept asking her questions in his stupor and when I tried to stop him he told me in the face to stop getting in his way and proceeded to continue. I didn’t really mind since I did think my friend was the pretty and good-looking kind but yeah guys defo don’t see or treat me as a woman cos I buibui lol (which is understandable)
4. I’ve been on both sides of the fence so I think I can give my input. Growing up, I think I was an ugly ducking. I constantly have scabs on my legs because I would scratch them (they were itchy) and school made it worse cos there’s no way I could hide them, (in school we had to wear skirts). Also, to add on I wore those dark rim glasses . Back then if you’re four eyes, you’re just plain nerdy and nobody would look at you twice.
   I am now in my early 30s (single now though) . But I no longer have the “I am ugly stigma”. I am told constantly that I’m beautiful and attractive. I think as you get older, you will start to learn more about yourself so you will know how to love and take care of yourself. For me, personally I am told numerous times by people that I have great skin, hair and beautiful eyes. So I love to maximise physical features that enhances my beauty.
   It’s good to know that you’re working on dressing better. I believe a sense of style has helped me a lot personally. Knowing your body shape and what colors works for you will do wonders. Don’t worry too much about not finding a bf now or not having anyone that fancies you now. Get to know as many people as possible , I’m sure someone will find you interesting and attractive.

Employer canceled interview because they hired someone else. That person flaked now they keep calling me to interview

Employer called me up and very rudely canceled our interview. She was really snotty and blamed me for setting up the interview after the person that got the job.

I was confused because I took the first day/time she offered for the interview. Then said “you wouldn’t be the right fit” because I lived outside of the area she wanted to hire. Then she said I really didn’t think when I applied to her position. Ok, damn. I get it.

Well, this HR lunatic called me this morning begging for me to come in for an interview. All the sudden I am desirable. So….I told her the truth …

“I’m so sorry. I am not interested. In fact you treated me so poorly for no reason when you canceled the interview, I choose to no longer entertain this position.”

And I hung up….and the bitch called right back. Didn’t answer and she didn’t leave a voicemail

Netizens’ comments

1. Schedule another interview a week from now. Cancel at the last minute. Tell them they wouldn’t be a good fit b/c they put their job site outside the area you wanted to commute.
2. Go one step further, take the interview, kill it, negotiate the highest salary they’ve ever paid for the position, accept the job, tell them you’ll start in 4 weeks, wait 4 weeks, then ghost them.
3. She is panicking. Management is probably pressuring her to fill the position and she knows she f-ed up by treating you like shit when she thought she had hired someone else.
4. I would email the head of HR. Give them the lowdown of that snooty little thing.
5. Solid. That person has no place holding that position. Can’t imagine how many more good candidates they’ve run off, and leadership is none the wiser.

Let me start by saying this: while we haven’t been dating for too long, I will say she has got to be one of the most loving and genuine people I have ever met. I’ve never seen or had a hint of her behavior eventually turning out like this and I’m kind of disgusted right now.

We met up at my apartment and decided that we were both starving so we went to go get some food. Fast forward to us getting there, we pull up to the drive-through and she’s got the music blasting all the way up until the employee starts our order.

She immediately rang off her order not giving the dude a chance to plug it into the system and I say “dang, give him a minute”. I work in the restaurant industry so I know how annoying it is for people to order like that.

We then pull up to the window and the cashier hands her the drinks and when they hand her hers, she’s like “uhh? I order a large. That don’t look like a large.”

In a rude tone. The cashier says it is, and she’s going on about how they need bigger cups and whatnot. At this point I’m starting to get embarrassed that she’s talking to him like that, and I just sit back in my seat.

Then she’s asks for sauces and apparently the restaurant implemented a new policy about giving away too many sauces and he’s trying to tell her that and she’s like “well then just double up on the ranch and honey mustard, and one of the other ones” which is pretty much exactly what the guy explained he can’t do but he gave it to her anyway to avoid the conflict. She didn’t even say thank you when we left.

On the ride back home I tell her “you didn’t have to have an attitude with the guy. He said it was store policy there’s nothing he can do about it, he just works there.” then she says she didn’t think she was being rude and apologizes to me and but my blood is boiling from embarrassment so the ride home is silent. When we get home she is mad bc I confronted her about it and decides she wants to go home.

All I can think about is how she complains about rude customers at her job but then turns around and does this then has the nerve to get mad that she got called out on her nonsense. I don’t even know if I want to continue seeing her at this point. I literally cannot be with someone who is so rude to someone just trying to do their job but on the other hand, I’m hoping this was a one-off thing and I don’t know if I should apologize for confronting her like that..