Accidentally chanced upon my first crush on fb.

I met him when I was 14. He was older than me. Tbh, he’s not a hunk or anything, there were other better looking guys around. But there’s something extremely charismatic about him that had me mesmerized and obsessed with him. I soon found out there were other girls in the same situation as me.

Years went by, I was 18, I continued to admire him from afar. We do talk a little but there was nothing special. I watched him during his phase in NS with that new dark tan and army haircut. I find him so cute and yet manly. Once we were in the same team for a church program, I guess he knew how I felt about him. He called me out of the blue. But it wasn’t anything special. He just talked about a sports that he liked as it was on tv. The conversation didn’t last long. I guess he was just checking to see if we have any chemistry.

Sometime later, I found out my friend became his gf. For a moment I was saddened and jealous. I know I’m an above average looking girl as I have no lack of admirers so I find it hard to accept it. I guess this was how I dealt with rejection when I was young. I’m just not his type. They broke up shortly anyway.

Sometimes when I saw mutual friends, I would be reminded of him. He changed his name so I couldn’t find him even if I tried and I also never actively sought him out online.

The current him is married with 2 very young children. His wife, though plain looking, is so lucky to have him. If only she knew how many girls obsessed over him when he was young.

I have no plans to reconnect with him. There’s nothing to say to him anyway.

Seeing him reminded me of my youth. It’s nice to reminisce that sparkly, sweet and innocent young love that I felt when I was a teen.

I look at my husband to realise I actually married a person who look similar to my first crush.

I guess I like cute guys.

Just a curious question:

Why is the first train always so crowded with older folks; where are they headed to?

Had to take first train on several occasions for work-related reasons and realized it’s always so crowded.

And even if there are seats I don’t dare to sit down (and catch up on some rest) because almost surrounded by older folks; also they’re surprisingly chatty in the wee hours.

Trains at around 10am are much more sparsely populated in comparison.

Here are what netizens think:

• They just came back from clubbing or drinking session or tonning laaah! Old people also happening whaaat. First train home mah…

• omg I have tht same question in back of my mind tooo … as early as 6… and due to that each time we have to gave up seats eventhough we are super tired and sleepy.

• I think these are the persons who need to arrive at the crack of dawn for their work, but their job/role doesn’t pay cab fees for them

• Daily morning gathering at kopitiam. Lim kopi and chit chat. Their only pastime.

• If they don’t want to sit down, then you sit loh, not like the seat got their name on it. Oh ya only one seat got their name, the corner seat

• Early morning rides before a certain timing cost less than the usual. So alot of elderly including my father prefers to travel early in the morning to avoid working crowds n to save money

• The massive immigration is on going, even off peaks every where also full of people, mostly FTs

• 1. They work in roles which require early start which some people shun.
• 2. They wake early, might as well leave home early if there are things to do – pace slower, more comfortable.
• 3. There are more seats for them too on public transport.

My requirement for a guy is very simple.

I prioritise physical attributes more than materials. He would be >1.7m, six packs, fit enough to get ippt gold every year, and able to afford a new 3 bedroom condo near an mrt.

Here are what netizens think:

Nowadays IPPT is easier to pass but not easier to get gold. To get gold, your pushup must be quite high and sit up must be higher than past standards. They took out shuttle run and board jump but increased the bar for sit ups, and add in a high bar for push ups.

• Fit enuf to get IPPT gold never mind – he MUST post his result slip on FB and IG then thank SAF for $500.

• 6 pack means he will be spending a lot of time working on his body. His diet would likely be plain and healthy to maintain his bod. So chill lax time will likely be spent at the gym and he may prefer to eat in more.Do you have a lifestyle or personality to spend time with and match with this kind of guy? I think this type, especially those who are very mindful of their appearance sometimes don’t like girls…. And 3 bedroom condo near mrt? So noisy….

• “How to tell people you are materialistic without saying you are materialistic.” A 3 Bedroom condo near MRT can easily exceed a million.

• I have more than 6 pack, sometimes, when there’s an offer, I’ll buy a case..

• It can be easily assumed that you are fishing for a men who is able invest in you well. So what u can offer back to him as a trade in? If is based just on ur “looks” its gonna depreciate in 10 years time

When dating, girls tend to prefer it if the guy can make the decisions when it comes to choosing where to eat. So when deciding where, if the girl says “Idk i anyth also can”, then the guy decides to eat at a very crowded subway fastfood restaurant (crowded until have to share table with other ppl that kind) that’s nearby.

Would it make the guy seem more attractive due to his assertiveness/decisiveness (despite picking a very crowded place), or would it had been better (for the girl) if the girl had made the decision on where to eat instead?

She mentioned she’s ok with “anyth”, but its not unlikely that she would had liked it better if they ate at a less crowded place with a better ambience, or at least just choosing a not highly crowded place would had been much better than not.

What do you girls think?

Here are what netizens think:

• End of the day, just let the girl decide. You get to live one day longer. We all know the mind games. Asking you to decide is a gentle nod to manners. But it’s a bit like the splitting bills conundrum. If you don’t pick up the tab, you’ll still be arro… 
• Not all girls are the same so don’t assume. Who said all girls prefer that guys pick where to eat? Overall most girls like it when you show thoughtfulness and consideration. If you ask her and she said anything, give 2 her choices? If your observation skills is good, after a few more dates you will know if she’s really ok with any food and place or if she has preferences. End of the day, it’s ok to ask and communicate.

• It’s quite common for younger people to play mind games with one another, direct communication is more effective and encourage her to do the same so that both of you will have a more fulfilling time together.

• It’s very simple. It’s 100% your responsible to make sure you pick a place she likes. If you get it right, it’s your lucky night. If you get it wrong, then I can only sing you a sad song. Wake up and smell the coffee, and welcome to manhood.

Hello all, I’m seeking for some opinions here. I am a larger-sized female, weighing approximately 90kg. There is another girl in my class (let’s refer to her as girl A) who is slightly heavier than me, around 105kg.

I believe I have developed good relationships and rapport with my classmates compared to girl A. However, it saddens me when I hear my classmates making fun of her weight, even though they have no ill intentions. I empathize with her because I can relate to being plus-sized.

The only apparent difference between us is my positive relationship with everyone in the class.

Nevertheless, my inner insecurities and lack of confidence make me feel inferior. I’m uncertain about how I should process these emotions…

Here are what netizens think:

• What other intentions could those classmates possibly have when they made fun of others except for an ill one? Words, no matter how minor can be hurtful. If your rapport is so good with them, you should use it to your advantage and speak up about it. Besides, what makes you think they aren’t doing the same behind your back? If they are your true friends, they’ll realise it and stop poking fun about a sensitive issue. If not, it’s best to keep your distance from these people. Embrace who you are as a person. If you want to make changes, remember to do it for yourself.

• This is gonna be a hard take. This ain’t going to be one of those “please pity fat people take” or tips and tricks to lose weight. Everyone knows how weight loss is achieved. ll that negative feelings fat people feel is because of the fact that they know they are in fact fat. It hurts when others insuniate it because it is true. But then, fat individuals chose the route to be fat. This is the solutions part. There’s two ways to go about it. Either commit to losing weight or commit to not caring about it at all. Both paths is a double edge sword, I guess this is the part where individuality takes over.

• Own your body. There is no need to feel inferior just because you are a certain weight. Weight loss is not something you must do to feel better about yourself. Believe me when I say if you do not actively try to make yourself happy, you won’t be happy no matter how skinny you become. Look at your positive attributes and work towards that. Also, lose those friends who like to talk behind people’s back. These People will do the same to you as they are doing to the girl. You should look for genuine friends to be with. Even being alone is better than being with disingenuous people.

I just wanna rant. I hate TikTok because it ruins relationships especially within a family. Ever since my mom got addicted to TikTok she stopped doing normal daily tasks like turning on the light at night. When I come home from work around 7+pm she will be sitting on the sofa in the dark watching TikTok. She doesn’t want to cook even though she’s the most free, because she needs to keep up with TikTok. Sometimes she even skips meals because she can’t be bothered to find food.

Even during dinners she watches TikTok. My dad once told her off because dinner times are usually our only bonding time because we work in the day.

Not only that, why do people who watch TikTok have to blast it at max volume and replay the same video over and over and over again? I can hear it from across the house and it gets so annoying.

Put down the phone and communicate with the family. TikTok is like some drug and I hate it.

Here are what netizens think:

• You could make a TikTok about her and rant about it. Who knows, AsiaOne or Singapore Uncensored might even write an article about you. They write about TikTok ranters nowadays.

• The issue is not entirely TikTok. The issue is the addiction to TikTok, like other similar addictions.

• This totally calls for an intervention… She absolutely needs to have her addiction handled… Make it serious if you guys really want her to change.

• Sorry. The problem is not TikTok, the problem is your mum. It’s like ‘I want to blame calculator because people can’t do simple 158×65 anymore.’ Or ‘I want to blame calendar and mobile phones because don’t bother remembering birthdates and phone numbers anymore.’

• Ahhh yes.. times before tiktok.. good old days of 600 episode drama serials.
• If its nt tik tok, its smthing else. Find smthing else to blame

realize I’ll never make six figures in my lifetime

Not smart to be a tech person. Not smart enough for uni. All I have is my body. Even if I worked two full time jobs, I’ll never hit six figures.

Even if joined a trade, I’m not making six figures, it’ll take years and most likely wear my body out. I see it happening with my dad and he’s not even close to six figures.

I keep seeing the tiktok street interviews where they asked people about the yearly salaries and the tech people are always in the six figures. Some people may lie but there’s always truth there.

I’m a failure and will live in poverty forever. I’m not making it out. My grandparents didn’t, my parents didn’t, and I’m no exception. At least I won’t ever have children to continue the cycle of poverty.

Netizens’ comment

1. many successful people are not the smartest in the room. they are the most ambitious.
2. No need for smarts, education or hard labor trades if you are willing to do a job that requires being away from home for long stretches. Same deal with the “travel” version of most regular jobs; if you are sleeping in your own bed less than half the nights of a year you are going to make 2-3 times that of somebody else with the same basic job who is home every night.
3. I work in tech. It still ruins your body being sedentary and staring at computer screens all day. Most if not all of my coworkers are overweight or have multiple health issues that eat up all of their money. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
4. I know this is a vent/rant post, but my first two cents would be to stop calling yourself a failure. Not making 6 figures doesn’t make you a failure.
   “Comparison is the thief of joy”
   I would also highly suggest you stop comparing yourself to others online. Just focus on you & what you want to achieve.
   Also some food for thought, they’re many different roles within Tech Industry e.g. Business Analyst, Sales, Marketing, Managers, Administrators, Recruitment, etc, that don’t require you to be super smart, have a degree/masters or technical ability, and can easily pay 6 figures.

Hi guys…no judgement please, just seeking advice.

Everytime I read about how guys satisfy themselves with the photos of other women, I wonder how they can do that. I find it very difficult and for that matter I am also single.

The only photos I satisfy myself with is my own photos, after making up and dressing up like a female. The odd part is that I’m not turned on when right after dressing up. It’s only after a few days when I see my own female photos that I feel the need to satisfy myself with it.

I’ve always genuinely wondered if I am strange. My parents keep asking me to find a girlfriend and marry, but I just can’t. I’m not interested in any, and I don’t find them as attractive as myself when I’m dolled up.

Can anyone advise me firstly – how can I persuade my parents to stop pressing me to marry a girl, and that I can never be turned on by other women?

Secondly – I’m confused about my orientation. I’m not homo since I do not go for men. I only seem to have this self-love for myself. Someone please help me.

Netizens’ comments

1. You’re an amoeba then. Or narcissistic. Ownself love ownself. Either is nothing wrong as long you happy. Make a cardboard standee and show your parents.
   Or wait till cloning goes commercial
2. U ever watched those movies where 1 actor pretend to be 2 pax? Ya. Do that. Meet your parents. I’m sure u can be convincing.
3. simple, find a girl who loves nothing but doll up, you both can copy note what to dress, what type of make up, just having fun. your parents will think that you have a girlfriend and leave you alone and you will be more aware of what actually you are. sometime it is not that you don’t love girl or guy, just that the right person is here yet.
4. If you think it’s a problem, go see a doctor.
   If you don’t think it’s a problem, then just let yourself be yourself.

I give my parents 20% of my salary (>$700) ever since I started working two years ago, and 20% of any bonuses when I get them too.

I learnt that I give the highest percentage amongst my friends, but I’m okay with that as I can afford to and somehow this 20% proportion has been ingrained in my mind since young.

Recently, my partner and I secured a BTO. Somehow, this got me to start thinking about finances seriously. I feel that I should save more for future uses such as the wedding, honeymoon, house, renovation and any emergency spending.

I’m not engaged yet, but just generally thinking about the future and making a mental note that I have to start being more financially savvy now that we have a home (yay!).

I innocently shared this with my mum but she got angry instead and started ranting that kids nowadays only care about planning for their own future and kicking their parents aside.

I clarified that I have no intention to change or withdraw the 20% of my salary that I have been providing. I only wanted to save a higher proportion of the remaining amount after setting aside the monthly allowance.

However, she insisted that I have become stingy ever since getting together with my partner and that I only cared about my own future.

Honestly, I feel quite angry at her accusations as I have not once given anything lesser than 20% of whatever I have. She also commented that I could rely on my partner and need not plan to save so much, which I do not agree with.

We should aim towards being able to support ourselves regardless of whether we have someone to rely on, isn’t it? I really don’t know what’s wrong with children planning for their future as the point of planning ahead is to avoid having to take parents’ money for our own expenses next time.

Furthermore, I am still giving the 20% without any intention to stop, and I don’t know why she’s so defensive every time I talk about my own financial planning. Sigh.

Just wanted to get this off my chest. Thank you for hearing me out.