I am 30 years old male, married with 1 kid and already moved into our new BTO.

Wife and I met 8 years ago, got married 2 years ago and have a kid 1 year ago.

Starting of the relationship was ok, she is ok for me to smoke and portray herself as those very nice and understanding woman. Slowly 1 year into the relationship, her true colour slowly review itself. She say I smell so bad after smoking and refuse to kiss me. I respect that as non smokers usually dislike the smell. So everytime when I’m out with her, I would leave my cigarettes in the car. I have to pay for every single thing and dinner at coffee shop seems unbearable for her.

Moving forward a bit, we had a huge quarrel with her about 4 years into the relationship as she found out that I owe my credit card debt for about 14k. FYI, I don’t buy stuff for myself, I don’t drink, don’t party and don’t game. All my money were basically spent on her and us. She love to compare me and her life with those influencer’s and their boyfriend. Her attitude towards me is like towards a dog and she constantly scolds me with vulgar everytime she has mood swing. Her mood swing can be a weekly thing which traumatised me a lot. And she chose to dump me knowing that I am on debt. Felt really hurt inside as I chose to put myself in debt just so I can spend on her and let her lead the kind of life she wants to, but it’s still not enough to satisfy her. I chose to accept and left. And it was just that day itself when I got dumped, a very good female friend of mine since poly days contacted me and asked me out to chill, so since I’m down, I said ok and met up with her. Told her exactly what happened and she told me if she has a boyfriend like me, she would cherish so much and never let go (she knows how I treated all my exs and we were there for each other everytime we have BGR issue).

So I joking said, “when is our turn to be together?” , and she say actually she likes me too and if I have the same feeling towards her too, we can get together. I’ve read stuff online saying that best friend who got married usually last forever. We know exactly how our past were like, as such we will not quarrel over a lot of stuff new couples might face. I told her that I’m in debt and not able to buy her stuff and bring her for holidays, and she say she is ok to be the one paying and ok to eat bread with me until I clear off my debts. I’m so touched inside and I admit I had a crush on her before, and we got together.

Few weeks went by, my ex that I mentioned above came calling me, texting me and even came to my house begging me to come back and giving all the reasons that she could think of and how remorseful she were. I rejected her and said nasty things to her but she was very determined to get me back. Ultimately, still not moved on yet from her, I chose to let down my best friend and got back to her and indeed she was a changed person. But it was the worst decision I have ever made in my life. Shortly after we reconcile, probably 1 year later, her pattern came back and it got even worse. Nearing to our bto completion, I have to follow the flow and proposed to her, got married and move in our new house.

We had a child and I did everything I can to help. From feeding, to bathing to washing and cleaning, from doing ALL household chores and wash clothes mop floor hang clothes keep clothes wash milk bottle sterilised bottle, I paid for house renovation loan, wifi, utility bills, milk powder and every single meal including breakfast to dinner. She was not satisfied. She still compare her life with me with influencers. She said what I did was what I should as a husband and daddy and that I never do anything for her but only for our child. She complains how I never bring her to holiday after giving birth a child for me and says I never buy branded bags for her anymore. Honestly, I’m in debt again and I can’t tell her. She is the type that I can’t share any of my unhappiness or difficulties to her because she will have an even bigger reaction.

When baby is sick, we all can’t sleep and she will start go crazy shouting at our infant baby and telling me how I didn’t help her and even say she has market value still and don’t dare her to go look for another older richer man. She has been scolding vulgar to me and threatening to divorce me. I really don’t understand what have I done wrong or what have I not done enough. When I’m tired from work, she says don’t bring work back home ad affect the family, but she does that herself every single day. If it wasn’t for my child, I would have fought back and agree to a divorce. I’m so lost now.

I’m not ready to get married and my boyfriend is losing his patience with me.

We have been dating for 3 years. He proposed to me a year ago. I’m so in love with him so I agreed. Actually I wasn’t ready but I don’t think we would need to make any arrangements due to all the restrictions but after everything is lifted he started to browse around for apartments and asked me to join him. I’ve been making excuses not to join him so far.

Eventually he found out how I feel and I’m also not willing to get a place together yet so we had a huge fight. Reason is he wants to start a family as he is much older than me. While I feel that I have not worked long enough to build up my portfolio or career. I feel getting married now may affect my job as I do not wish the company to skip me when there’s a promotion, thinking I’m newly married and assuming I will be starting a family in the near future.

I do love him. He has a great paying job that he loves. He takes great care of his parents. He does chores and he even cooks. I’ve stayed over at his place during the weekends and I know he would make a great partner.

He understands that I’m not ready to be a mother but he cannot comprehend why I do not wish to get married yet.

Would it be selfish of me to make him wait longer? I’m afraid he may give up on me. Would you get married when you’re not ready? I understand the chances of getting pregnant will drop as you get older but I’m in my early 20s and I really cannot imagine getting married now and becoming a mother.

My bf owes me alot of money.

We are together for about 4 years. In the beginning of the relationship, he was still in NS, so i didnt thought much of it when i pay for our dates, sometimes giving him allowance for his own meals. I am wondering if this has become a habit for him. Even though the topic has come up a lot of times, i admit that i havent been the most patient gf to him on this. He has gym memberships paid by me, physio costs was borrowed from me as well.

He has try, in his words, to accommodate to me and we no longer eat at expensive restaurants. Nowadays when we eat out, he will even pay for my meals. We also have a joint account together, but since he have been taking a lot from there, i try not to keep any amount in there. He has also stopping taking money from the account. However, his dad’s insurance money is deducting from our joint account, so there at least have to be an amount set aside every month. He is contributing most of that amount.

We have applied for a bto, and renovations pressurising me to save a lot more now, to cater for the pricing. Since i earned more, and his pay just nice covers his monthly bills, i am saving up solely for the renovations. It is a bit taxing on me, but no choice if i want to be able to renovate the house.

Recently we are planning something for our anniversary, so he booked something online, and told me to share the price. Was due to return me an amount this month, but i get the feeling that he has forgotten about it. So i let him know about that. Before him booking online we discussed about the item, but i did not agree to it. My credit card has monthly installments auto implemented, so, we couldve delayed the payment. But he told me that im being v unappreciative of his efforts, and that he didnt do anything, but am rudely shocked awake by me telling him that he still owes me money.

There are previous times where he slept happily, thinking about the plans he made, but got scolded by me the minute he wakes up. Am i being a v bad gf? I am really stressed about the money issues..

I come from a well-to-do family but make 3.5k a month. My bf comes from a super poor family but makes 21k a month.

Of course I don’t know for sure but roughly maybe my parents net worth 100million and his parents net worth 50k. I usually manage to save almost all of the 3.5k a month I make in a savings account because I have a supplementary credit card which my parents gave me.

For big ticket items like marriage, car and house, I get the feeling that he will want us to split 50-50. Personally I don’t think it’s fair because he makes more than 6 times my salary. My parents’ money is their business right and I feel we should split 1:7 ratio. I jokingly brought it up before but I could feel his disapproval.

I can’t get over how cheap he is. In a way I feel like I am being bullied.

Sounds terrible to say out but really people who grow up poor tend to be bitter at the world and quite stingy. Even if they become successful it’s like they can’t let their past go. My friends who grew up in ok families like mine tend to be very generous and I think such positivity makes for better vibes.

This is a question for everyone with experience in relationships, especially on the financial side of things.

To give some context, I have been with my gf for 2 years. She is from a quite well-off family the kind who owns around 10 properties. My family is not well off, likely bottom ten percent of Singapore if you consider net worth. Her salary is about 3k a month and mine is around 15k a month. I am one year older than her.

My gf said some things to me last week which I found quite shocking.

Firstly she said she feels like dating a secondary school kid when she is dating me. She said because I often buy basic jewellery and food for her, or bubble tea which is a childish joke. She mentioned her friends’ boyfriends buy expensive watches and bags for them and even her parents buy expensive makeup and perfumes for her, so she expect her boyfriend to at least be able to match what her parents can give her because that is her standard. She said instead of giving her small gifts or writing cards to her, she rather I stop being a kid, so immature, grow up and buy her expensive things.

She said this is how adults date. Her friends who chose bfs or eventually husbands based on how much money they can give them, are all now very happy.

Secondly, she said she is upset at me for being so poor and earning so little money. I was very surprised to hear this come out of her mouth given that I make five times her salary. She said she feels sorry for me that I cannot spend more money and feel like paying for me so often. But I know she say say only, our expenditure when dating is almost entirely paid for by me. She swipes parents’ credit card even when shopping for herself. She said I am very incapable and I should reflect on why my salary is so low. She said she is unsure if she can continue dating such a low income guy like me.

I countered by saying actually on 3k a month, based on her own earning abilities, her lifestyle should be on the more budget end. By saying all these, it means she wants to use my income to upgrade her own lifestyle. I asked her to clarify if this is fact. She then said that is not true, my lifestyle is too budget for her and I need to up my game to match her standard. I was so confused so I said ok long story short, you just want me to buy you expensive bags and watches is it? She said yes. Then I said did you just contradict yourself then? She said well it is ugly to say it out directly, she is giving me a chance to be a real man and gentleman and take the hint and spend on her without saying it and making everything sound not nice.

She then went on to say she is unhappy that I help out my parents financially etc etc and that I cannot give her a sense of security unlike her friends’ boyfriends who spend 100 percent of their salary on their gfs and then borrow or take money from their parents to cover their own living costs. I countered by saying isn’t that leeching off the older generation? She scoffed and said that is called the power of a family, the power of a community. I know nothing about all these because I am from humble backgrounds and this is how the real world works.

I must admit I was super shocked to hear all of these. The only hint I ever got before this that she thinks this way was that she is always telling me about her friends’ successful golddigging attempts and how happy they are.

Do you people think any of her points are valid?

It sounds so messed up to me but she said everything so convincingly and matter of factly that I am not so sure anymore.

Should I apply for a BTO using my credit card for the downpayment?

My gf graduated last year and she’s earning an above average salary. I just graduated this year and I’m working for a Chinese tech company. I’m fortunate enough to earn quite a good salary but this means that our combined income is only slightly below the BTO combined income ceiling.

I’m worried that we will not be able to apply for a BTO next year because of our yearly increment but we also do not have enough cash for a downpayment yet. Both of us have no savings because we have been trying to clear our student loans. Our parents are cash-strapped themselves so that is out of the question.

I can only think of one way of paying the downpayment, and that is by using our credit cards with the staggered downpayment scheme. Our credit card limits are just enough for it but I’m afraid of credit card debt too… If everything goes well, we will be able to clear the credit card debt in 4 months. Should we take the risk or just wait for a resale flat next time?

Here are what netizens think:

• Have you secured an ideal queue number for selection? If you have yet to, apply first. Getting a unit that you and your partner like needs luck and time. By then, staggered downpayment with OA is very possible given both of you are maxing out CPF contributions and in your 20s (OA contrib highest). If selection is coming soon (congrats!), or your partner’s income does not attract CPF, check if a personal loan offers lower interest. Discipline will be very key, as there must be a reason both of you have no savings despite earning above average incomes. Loan exactly the amount you need after fees, and set up a standing instruction on your paydays to make payment for the loan.

• What a question to ask. With a combined starting pay of close to 12k and you are asking such a question which the answer is so obvious? What are you trying to prove here? A BTO, 4 room is maybe 400000? 5 percent down payment is only 20000. Your OA after working for a year with combined income don’t have? Even if so, not married yet presume no kids. Your combined monthly according to yourself is almost 12000. Two months is all you need. So, is it even a problem for BTO? Seriously, what’s your point?

• If I’m not wrong, you cannot use credit card for downpayment. Since you’re able to clear credit card debt in 4 months, why not you wait for awhile to save up cash before you and your partner apply for bto? If not, you can look into staggered downpayment.

Last year, I met a girl in JB. We hit it off really well and I began to pay her $1k per month for her living expenses.

She did quite well in her STPM (A level equivalent) and obtained a place in NUS. At first, I was quite happy for her and excited to be able to spend more time with her without having to endure the terrible causeway jam. I was also looking forward to lunchtime quickies with her during the regular school semester.

However, recently, she claims that her living expenses in Singapore are too high and she insists that I increase her monthly allowance to $2K a month. Should I agree to this? What is a “fair” amount for living expenses in SG anyway? I am deeply in love with her and and I don’t want this relationship to end

Here are what netizens think:

• Every time lunchtime quickies …. but come to money heart pain please don’t fall in love.

• Fastest sugar daddy deal ever

• lets take the number of times you bang and climax a month as X, and how long you take each time as L hrs. Take F(A) = 2000/X. the standard format online is F(A)/1/L. You’re welcome.

• What counts as a sugarbaby/sugardaddy relationship? I am currently dating a Singaporean NUS undergrad. Yes, I am older than her. And yes, we do have sex. However, I don’t pay her any monthly allowance or contribute to her school fees. I think it is obvious that she should pay for those things herself. However, I do give her a supplementary card ($5k monthly limit) which she uses only for date-related expenses like food, transport, clothing and occasional holidays (which we both enjoy together). Just to set the record straight, she is financially responsible and sticks to the credit limit, although she did go slightly over the limit the past few months due to the school holidays. Surely this is not a sugar relationship right? Are girls expected to pay for dates nowadays? As a man, I feel obliged to give my GF a good life, to care for her and provide for her needs. I don’t think it is right to cancel the card and expect her to pay for everything herself…