As a young adult in my late 20s, I was full of enthusiasm and ambition, and I decided to invest in the stock market. I figured, why not? I could make a lot of money if I got lucky.

Like a lottery, I thought stocks could give me a chance to make a huge windfall. But the stock market isn’t the same as gambling. I had no experience and no idea what I was doing. In the end, my attempt to make a quick buck cost me dearly.

It all started when I received a text from a friend. He told me about a hot stock tip, and how I could make a lot of money if I invested in this particular stock. I was intrigued. He said that it was a surefire way to make a lot of money quickly. I was young and naive, so I decided to take a chance.

I opened a brokerage account and started buying and selling stocks. I put in all my savings, which amounted to approximately $35,000. I was confident that I could make a profit, and I thought I had found an easy way to make money.

Little did I know that the stock market is a volatile place. The prices of stocks can fluctuate wildly. I soon realized that I was in over my head. I was buying and selling stocks without much understanding of how the market works. I was gambling with my hard-earned money, hoping that I could make a quick buck.

I started losing money. I was trying to make up for my losses by investing more money, but it just made the situation worse. I was in too deep and I didn’t know how to get out. I had invested nearly all of my savings in the stock market and I was losing more money than I had originally invested.

In the end, I had lost $43,000. I was devastated. I had thought that investing in stocks would be like buying a lottery ticket or playing 4D. I had no idea that it was so risky. I had gambled with my money and I had lost.

The stock market is not a get-rich-quick scheme. It requires research, understanding and patience. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you could end up losing a lot of money.

I was lucky. I had invested a relatively small amount of money and I hadn’t gone too deep into debt. But I was still out a large amount of money that I had worked hard to save. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I’m glad I did.

Now, I invest in the stock market with caution. I take the time to research and understand the market before making any investments. I have also learned to be patient and not try to make a quick buck. Investing in the stock market can be a great way to make money, but you have to be smart and educated about it.

I have 3 other siblings and we are 2 sets of non identical twins. I come from quite a well to do family (I’m being modest tbh) and dad is an extremely good businessman.

Courtesy of dad’s upbringing, my 3 other siblings are also typical high flyers, climb corporate ladder damn fast kinda people. Both dominating in their respective fields. As a result, their earnings are easily the top 1% of our population. We each have a fully paid condo unit under each of our names, which we are all staying in, courtesy of daddy again. I chose a different route and entered the public sector as a brand new doctor with no intentions to enter private healthcare (due to many personal and professional reasons), and I think I can be a very good doctor, serving the public, in the long run.

As a closely knitted family, we go for holidays together all the time. When we were young, daddy paid for us, now we all pay for him. The issue is now…. I don’t earn as much as them and cannot afford to travel they way they do. I can’t afford to fly first class, >3x a year to stay in a 5 star resort for a week on my doctor’s salary! I don’t even have enough leave days. For the first few trips, my siblings paid for me, but after a while they sorta hinted that I should pay for myself when it’s very clear that I cannot.

Dad gave the “be nice” speech and suggested that I plan the next holiday, so we can all go together. I did just that and throughout the whole trip, my siblings were complaining. Complaining that economy class seats are so small and packed, that the 4 star hotel’s shower is lousy, service staff is meh. 2 siblings even upgraded their seats halfway the flight because “why should we sit economy? We worked hard and deserve to be pampered.”

During said trip, dad had to, multiple times, put his foot down and gave the “be nice” speech. Once the speech is given, all siblings behaved. But it’s very obvious that they were not enjoying the trip but tolerating it.

Back in SG, we also have dinners regularly, and due to my work schedule and the fact that I don’t drive, I usually turn up late. Dad will insist to wait for me, much to the displeasure of my other siblings. I dont blame them, sometimes I can be 2 hrs late. Once my sibling just said to me, ” just buy a ******* car, buy a cheap jap one so you can be on time or at least earlier.” I just broke down and shouted “I cant afford it!” That siblings was stunned that I can’t even afford a Jap car, as if that is extremely foreign to them. I saw my twin muttered (I can lip read and they know) “Just how much are they paying you?” My heart broke as I know my twin was not being malicious, but it shows how we now are in 2 different worlds. They were genuinely confused and trying to find out. If I had opened my mouth to ask, they would have bought the car for me, but dad didnt raise us this way.

Dad came to talk to me alone after this, and gave a long speech on how I chose this career path despite knowing what’s our family’s background. Hence now I have to learn how to handle the siblings or forever not be a part of them. This is the consequence of my actions and he can’t be there covering me all the time. Now, I have to deal with my siblings, next time it can be another rich idiot, or another idiot higher rank than me. That’s dad’s upbringing style. My siblings thrived and become “fighters”. I have always been the more passive one. haiz……|

Recently, my 3 siblings went overseas without me and I felt a pang of sadness. As if I have been “kicked out”. For a twin, this is a damn big deal. Talked to dad about it and all he had to say was everyone can make their own decisions, how are we going to react to it is up to us. We are all adults with our own careers, how he also isnt invited. He then turn it around and asked me how I intend to handle this?

Haiz….. I honestly don’t know. So to my juniors in med school, dont become a doctor for money. There are a lot of easier ways to earn money without sacrificing ur time, mental health, family and personal relationships.

–

working towards the wrong direction. Through my entire life, my father kept emphasizing on “Man Perfection” / “男子汉”. I was taught to believe I had to be perfect in order for girls to like me.

Throughout my entire childhood and teen years, I studied and worked at the same time in order to build up my savings. I told myself I had to move out and have everything at a young age so that I can get a happy family.

I rejected all forms of relationships especially in my teen years in order to increase my savings, which I began to regret as many of my homeland friends are happily attached to their partners (whom they met since they were 18).

Now I am 25 and beginning to worry as everyone in my social circle is beginning to get married while I am still single. My friends expressed their jealousy as with the lottery money I win coupled with my savings, I had everything they want at our age. But what they do not realize is they had everything I want.

They have a healthy relationship and received love from it. I am starting to feel my hardwork is all for nothing as I always thought my effort will finally give me a happy family, which I did not get to experience in my childhood with my parents busy working.

I know people often mentioned love depends on fate and cannot be forced, but I really tried. I tried to be the best person I can be in order to gain others’ recognition. I sacrificed my entire childhood, teen years, as well as early 20s to get where I am here. But I still could not get what I really want. Love.

Here are what netizens think:

• Huh~!!! @ 25 you want to settle down? Why not work on yourself at this age there is a lon g way to go. If I were you I work on self first like building up character , career , physically , mentally and spiritually if you are religious. Love is not as what you have painted so beautifully, it has it’s own challenges and it’s a set of it’s own problems. I would rather enjoy my singlehood at this age cos the moment you get married you know everything is about the marriage and no longer about self. Just go make yourself a better person in life and you will be like a flower that attract bees!

• Crazy 25 years old and you want to settle down. Go out and see the world don’t always think about relationships only.

• It is really not about marrying early, it is about marrying the right person! If u are looking to marry for the sake of marrying, pls stay single instead. U really cannot imagine the commitment (if kids are in the pic), pain, hassle and the financial obligations u have to go through when divorce comes up.

Why is it that when I talk to new classmates, they will assume that I’m from poly? Most looked surprised when I told them I was from JC. Is it because I speak mostly Singlish and am not eloquent? I want to explain more but I worry I may just dox myself out instead.

Tbh, I’m actually an introvert. But the problem is, I don’t look like an introvert. Because of that, I will tend to look snobby. My facial expressions are quite bad. When I try to look friendlier with some smiles, I end up looking like a weirdo or almost spastic like a comedian. Tbh, I can’t smile for nuts.

Most of the time, I will be tired by 5pm and my facial expressions will be like a guy who’s high on drugs. And yes, droopy eyes and walking back home like a zombie. Had some job experience before and my colleague even asked me if I took drugs. Wtf!

I really wonder if anyone else is facing similar problems like me. I suspect that I’m borderline on the autism spectrum. I cannot read other people’s faces that well and I become mentally tired after “forcing” myself to communicate with others. I build on my past experience to detect facial cues on others and it’s not natural at all for me.

That’s probably why I try to avoid studying with others. And possibly why I prefer to study alone. Should I get myself checked? Is UHC good enough for a check on autism?

Once, I took a practical exam and I was so disoriented with a hiccup on the laptop and had to go to another location instead that I actually got a zero for it. My brain went dead on me. I’m not sure if it’s just me or if I have serious issues. I just feel lost right now. I try to think I’m normal like others but it seems my “problem” is getting worse now.

Here are what netizens think:

• LOL I have the opposite problem, but only cuz i got that studios face ig… my suggestion is just move along. Your life is more important than this . Regarding the second half of your para, yes please go get it checked, better safe than sorry ya?

• If the problem is affecting your functioning, yes do go get a check up. You can try UHC, or go polyclinic to get a referral.

• Running improves blood circulation and releases endorphines to the head so u look more awake and relaxed.

• Go plastic surgery la, ask for smarter oppa look.

Tbh I am not / wasn’t trying to justify my decision. Just wanna share my experience and view. To set the scene, I date to marry, so I have to be practical.

Many dug into my money-centric mindset, as if y’all don’t depend on money to sustain your lifestyle. Commenters said I shouldn’t link income to personality. I think it’s an unrealistic view because each individual is one package. Where he is not good in one thing, I’d expect more in other things.

From my perspective, I’m making a high 6-figure per annum, so I don’t necessarily need a rich bf. However, my income alone is not considered a lot either. My ex made a low 5-figure, which means by dating him (and if marrying him) I was compromising on my timeline to financial freedom. I’m just talking statistics, to a lot of people who make low income, this may not cross their minds as a cost.

I expected my ex to realize his shortcomings and be sensitive about it. He could try to save without making it look too obvious that he wasn’t willing to spend on dates. I already made it easy for him by maintaining a 50/50, but honestly I was paying more for him cumulatively by a 4-figure amount in the span of 1 year. Still his complaints and manipulations came once every few weeks. One time, he had to spend $15 to buy me some Panadol for my mens. 2hrs later he woke me up from my rest and put my phone in front of my face so that the moment I opened my eyes, my phone got unlocked. He used my phone to order food delivery (which was his way to forcefully claimed back the $15). My next reaction was “if you don’t want to spend on anyone ever then don’t have a gf la”. Not like the amount of money was big too me, I was just so sick of his cheapskate ways.

Many said being poor doesn’t necessarily lead to uneducated behaviors. Ditto. I made the same point in my previous post. In fact, I came from a poor family in Thailand and made my way here through uni scholarship. I know what netizens mean but I also can say I’ve seen more poor people than you. Most are like my ex: not necessarily bad intention, just lack of awareness.

Many said he may get better over time. So let me provide some more facts. I’m in my late 20s making my income. He’s in his late 30s making his income 10th of mine. He’s getting old and too comfortable to change. That’s the reality for most people at his age. I’m not talking about students or fresh grads here (obviously if you make little as student or fresh grad, you’re not considered poor yet).

I’m unwilling to try again with another poor guy, not because I think all poor people are the same, but because I also have emotions and I don’t want to get hurt again (esp while I have other better options).

Some said I came to my current bf for money and he’ll dump me for a richer one. Let me again provide you some facts. Both he and I have dated sons/daughters of multi-millionaires before, and we didn’t put too much weight on that fact when we ended the relationships with our exes. Money is not everything to us (in fact it’s minor as we are both making decently). It’s just a means / filter criteria to get to comfort level before proceeding further. My bf impressed me with his personality (smart and mature). He’s very young, so I definitely admire him for his early success and hard work.

In my previous post, I praised him for picking up the bills, that’s because I compared him to my ex who didn’t think it was the basic. Anyone can accept otherwise if you please, it’s your life. But fairly speaking, since everything comes at a cost and woman is expected a lot of in other areas, it’s a man’s role to provide, unless the man can accept a not-well-maintained woman and assume more than 50% share of housework/cooking and raising kids. It’s more hardship for women to pop kids and get to a particular level of financial success compared to a man. If a man can’t accept this, for real he shouldn’t involve a partner!

Some context here, I’m a Malaysian 25 M studying in NUS Computer Science. As I struck TOTO last year winning about 90K SGD, I was able to afford a terrace house back in KL as well as a decent car. Growing in Tangkak, it was necessary for me to know how to cook as my parents were often busy working.

Being more feminine looking and frequently labelled as “pretty boy”, I often struggle to find dates. Their excuse were always being doubtful of the ownership of my house and car, otherwise they will say I give the play boy vibes as due to my facial appearance and my culinary skills. Many of them expressed doubts when I told them I never been in a relationship before. Honestly, I am starting to doubt whether it is my character that is hindering me back but my friends often reassured me that I am one of the decent and finest guy they ever met.

Is my character the problem or it is just that I seem like a liar as the girls I went on dates claimed?

Here are what netizens think:

• I am not concerned about whether they believe me. I am only concerned about what percentage of those who believe and trust me are, and where I can find them. What is the archetype of those that absolutely do, and those who will rather die than date me. Low-T makes you a people-pleaser. You need to think about how to structure your approach so that it benefits you instead of worrying about what the larger pool thinks about. I can write long essays but the issue is not about rationality here, it’s your emotional state. Increase your test levels and the problem will automatically solve itself. The problem being your expectations about how the world treats you, and how you navigate it.

• If dating fails, have you considered arranged marriage or mail order bride? But then again, marriage does not guarantee happiness leh. Both sides need to put in work to make happiness possible. My university lecturer told me this long time ago: marriage is like a cage. Everybody inside wants to get out and everybody outside wants to get in. Think carefully what you want.

• The girls that you date just don’t like you so they will find all sorts of excuses as to why they won’t date you. If they like you, you can be Casanova and they will still stick to you like glue.

To women who earns less than 4k a month.

I don’t know you. But I’ve met women like you. I totally get why you made such sweeping statements about men. No one likes to be rejected. I can tell you one thing. Even women who make less than 4k a month can get men. But would you reject the men who want you? You can be an 8/10, and probably won’t even give men who are 5/10 a second look as you deem them as not good enough for you. When you intro your 5/10 friends a 5/10 match, and they reject, you call them superficial. But when you did the same to an 8/10, 9/10, 10/10 friend, it’s ‘ok’ or perfectly normal if they don’t like the looks, cause, well, ‘looks matters’ at the end of the day.

I get it.

Everyone wants the best for themselves but what do you have that the ‘best’ must accept you?

I’m guessing from your post, not only you are not a high earner, nor a high flier, you have the intelligence and personality to nab the type of men you’re after. So what does that leave you?

Back to me. Yes, that 5/10 guy.

But the advantage men have is that even a 5/10 can become an 8/10 with money. I can be 40 and still date women from 20s to 40s while a woman of the same age. Lol. Saggy boobs, wrinkles hidden by all the injections. Even if you came back to me, I didn’t have the best version of you…and your body then. So why should I, a 5/10, accept a former 8/10, now at 40, with a body of a 5/10?

If a woman have enough good points but don’t make enough money, most men will be willing to stay around and work together with you. Trust me, you wouldn’t want a woman who will be with you just because you can earn 20k a month. Just like all people who want to have a relationship, we want someone who is willing to be with us through thick and thin. All you need to do, is to look past the 5/10’s flaws, just as you would so profoundly speak of how 5/10s should just go for each other.

Focus on what you can work on. Calling out 5/10 men who goes for looks just as 8/10 men do, well, is just hypocrisy. We all have the same set of eyes, and that doesn’t mean we deserve any less than what we want.

But above all, I still have faith that women like you would be able to find someone one day. He may not be your first choice, he may not be a perfect 10, but I can assure you, as long as you play your part as a decent person, lover, boyfriend or husband in this partnership and help each other blossom, he can become a perfect 10 in your eyes.

I accidentally scratched my husband’s private parts, and he hit me in the face.

I really didn’t mean to. We were laying in bed, and I was kissing him, and he got hard. So I grabbed his waistband to check, well, you know…

But I have long natural nails, and accidentally scratched him down there. He immediately slapped me upside my face hard enough.

I tried apologizing and I told him over and over I hadn’t meant to scratch him, but he never apologized for hitting me.

This isn’t the first instance of violence he’s shown, and I’m an extremely passive person.

I just don’t know what to do, or how to keep this from escalating when I never intended to hurt him.

I’m sorry that I did, and I never would on purpose, but it really bothers me that his first instinct is to lash out physically.

Netizens’ comments

1. My wife of 13 years has accidentally injured me a couple of times and, other than tease her about it from time to time, I have never injured her back. Anyone that strikes a loved one in retaliation is not a good person, by any measure.
   Hit the door and count yourself lucky that it only ended with one blow… this time. You cannot take the chance of giving him an excuse to strike you again. And, if you have children, you cannot let him take out his irritations on them.
2. I have accidentally hurt my partner in the balls a few times and not once in 3 years has he hit me.. Not even a love tap. He has hurt me accidentally play fighting and as soon as I say ow he stops and apologizes and even kisses where he hurt me.
3. Leave him. I’m astounded you need to ask. Actually, kick him out. You shouldn’t need to leave, he should. He’s toxic.
4. No, this is NOT NORMAL, OP! It was an accident. Accidents happen, and this was a very minor one. It’s not like you bit down and or like clawed his balls in a vice grip.
5. Wtf!! Sounds like he was waiting for an opportunity to give you a smack honestly! That’s mad.

i’m sick of being the “funny” friend

i (f22) have always been a bit of a clown. i love funny things and making people laugh. i say a lot of things that make people say, “you’re wild for saying that,” or, “that was out of hand” but it’s never without a laugh.

most of my jokes are self-deprecating and definitely shocking because I make people laugh at my own expense, but people love that about me.

recently, i don’t really love that about me. again, a lot of my jokes are self-deprecating and half of the time aren’t even really jokes, but people have a riot with them every single time.

sometimes when people are trying not to pee themselves from laughing, i feel like crap because whatever i said felt more like i was just being honest than cracking a joke.

i’m genuinely miserable and just being real. if it’s funny, i guess that’s nice that it can bring other people some joy? idk.

everyone thinks i’m funny even if i don’t try to be. a lot of people close to me say i’m the funniest person they know, and although it’s flattering, i feel like i’m never taken seriously. it makes it hard for me to take myself seriously. :/

Netizens’ comments

1. I know the feeling. I was always considered the outgoing fun loving friend who would do anything to make others happy. Which somewhat is true, but it gets me wondering how many people were really friends and see that I also hated myself.
2. Yup, I felt that was the only reason they would be friends with me. The part about the self deprecating part. It made them feel like they were better than me so they would actually jump in after a while. Finally, I decided I wanted to be me and they all were gone. They never wanted me to be around because I stopped. It hurt a lot because I felt so used. It took years but I like the me I am.
3. It’s like “do any of these mfs actually care about me and how I’m doing or do they just like me cuz I make them laugh?” Kinda feels degrading
4. I’ve been exactly where you are, too. I’ve found that the situation ultimately lands on your own shoulders. Your friends like to laugh, and you’ve proven to be hilarious. Now, all you need to do is shift your focus. Essentially, you need to develop different material.
   I should also say, remember that you don’t HAVE to be the funny friend. If you’re not enjoying the dynamic of your friend group, you can be somebody else. If they aren’t down with that, then they were never really your friends in the first place.

My (F27) boyfriend (M32) comes after a minute – should he do more?

As the title describes, my (F27) boyfriend (M32) comes after 1 minute or 2-3 mins if he takes breaks… It’s been like this for the whole time I’ve known him, so nearly two years. There was a short period where it improved for a bit, and he could maybe last for 4-5 mins, but this was short-lived.

What I experience is that he doesn’t seem eager enough to solve it. I have only brought it up 3 times as I’ve noticed it’s a very sensitive topic for him (understandably) and he’s very well aware that it’s a problem. He doesn’t quite know why he comes prematurely, but is also too shy to go to the doctor for it.

He recently stated he’s read upon the matter online but that there are no straight-forward solutions.

This is too vague of a response for me, is it fair of me to expect him to find a solution for this? I have been super patient but after all this time there is no improvement and I’m getting frustrated after having been quite lucky with my partners in the past.

How do you even get satisfaction with just 1 minute of action?

Netizens’ comments

1. Reading up means nothing if there’s no practical application or result. He should go to a doctor who might be able to offer legitimate resources and options.
   But to the above, he needs to do his in the sheets work as well. More time entertaining you before he entertains himself seems like the obvious approach. As said, he’s got tools at his disposal to do so other than with his peen. I’d recommend he focus on that foreplay game. Get some toys and have fun with it.
2. Not unreasonable to expect him to take in an interest in addressing it. Just be sensitive about it. Maybe write him if it’s hard to talk about?
3. Make him wear a condom … it will reduce the sensation, so he should last longer. There are even condoms that contain some creams that reduce sensitivity even more, so that he’ll last even longer.
4. He has a tongue and hands doesn’t he? USE THEM.