What would you do with someone came up to you and started telling you how you’re going to hell because of your tattoos?

I was waiting for my friend at one of the malls in Paya Lebar. I was early so I sat down at one of the restaurants, waiting for my friend to come; and this elderly couple came up to me.

They sat next to me and started talking to me. Usually I try to be friendly to everyone who approaches me, they were asking me how old I was and what I do.

After that they started telling me how I’m trying to “act tough” with my multiple piercings & tattoos.

They said I was trying to “prove something” and that I must have fallen into bad company since I had a very “good girl face”.

I was still trying to remain cordial but man, they were really getting on my nerves. I wanted to leave but I didn’t want to seem rude. So I sat there for the entire 45 minutes having to listen and act interested in what they were saying.

They were telling me how God would be so disappointed in me for marking my body and how I will go to hell for it if I don’t repent.

They kept asking me to follow them back to their church that was nearby so I can repent for my sins so I don’t end up in hell. They said how if I don’t listen to them, they’d feel so sad because they’re trying to help me.

On paper, I’m a Christian too, so I know about all of the things they’re saying – but I don’t like it when people act as if they have the authority to tell me what I can and cannot do. Who are they to dictate if I’m going to hell or not

I’ve dealt with difficult people before, but not random strangers. I’m glad I was the bigger person to overlook the insult, I’m not sure if they were trying to bait me into getting into an argument.

I can’t control how people treat me but I can control how I respond. They were rude to me but I’m glad I didn’t lose my temper.

Thinking about it now, I find it rather amusing because it’s not very Christian-like of them to go around judging people.

It feels as if they have their own issues that they haven’t sorted out – because why would you want to be disrespectful, rude & try to find fault with a random stranger?

I [30m] want to break up with my girlfriend [28f], but she has nothing

For varies reasons I’m at the point where I feel like I need to break up with my girlfriend. I still care about her, but things just aren’t working out.

She was fired from her job a few months ago and is too proud to go just get some kind of emergency job, has no savings, so she’s been borrowing money, can’t afford her own place so has been living with me for about a year, and has no where else to go.

I have to prioritize myself and my own needs and just feel like I need to end things but every time I go to do it I feel so bad because I’m fairly sure she would be homeless within a couple months after living at friends places etc.

I’ve even considered paying for a short term rental for her or telling her that she can stay at my place until she figures something out up to a certain time, but I know she wouldn’t accept that.

I’m just at such a loss right now because I’m not sure how to handle this. I know that I want to break up with her, but I just can’t bring myself to do it

Netizens’ comments

1. You need to tell her. It’ll give her a massive wake up call, which is what she needs. It’s too comfortable for her, so that’s why she’s not bothered looking for another job. Be straight with her, but give her a bit of time to get sorted. Does she have family she can move back with?
2. At some point you will need to accept that they are a grown adult who is capable of handling her own affairs. You are not responsible for their well-being.
3. I’ve been here, we broke up and a year later he was still unemployed and living with me. I ended up paying two month’s rent in advance for him and found myself a new place. He was fine and eventually landed on his feet out of necessity if nothing else. Years later we’re even still friends.
4. Apart of me feels like that’s exactly what she wants, is for you to give her money. DON’T. You’ll kick yourself later. You aren’t responsible for a grown adult. She needs to help herself. Make her pack up and block her. She might contact you for pity, hoping you’ll take her back.

I told my mom that I might want to be a cleaner and she laughed at me and said, “My daughter, a cleaner…”

A lot of people live to work, and I carry more of a philosophy that I work to live. I’m a minimalist and just want to make money to survive and my work is not an ingrained part of me.

I‘ve held a lot of odd end jobs – customer service, cooking, daycare, etc. – and my mom holds it out for me that I will find a path. MY path. Or rather, my path that she approves of.

Well, it dawned on me that in all my jobs, my favorite thing to do is clean. I love cleaning. I’m also an introvert that loves being active.

It hadn’t occurred to me to be a cleaner because people can look down on them. But I grew to appreciate people’s peaceful approach and humbled myself.

Truth be told, I would probably LOVE being a cleaner. It sucks that my mom laughed at me, and in turn, all cleaners. You would hate every man-made place you went to if there were no cleaners. It’s an honorable career and one that I’m HAPPY I can push judgement aside, and say, yeah that would probably make my life a little more peaceful. Just me happily cleaning my little heart out.

My parents really want me to have a job that is honoured by people in society, but I just don’t care. So I’m sorry, mom, but I will probably never be rich or as honored as my sister, and when people ask what your youngest daughter does, you might have to embarrassingly tell them “a cleaner” or lie to them through your teeth. But I can’t wait to spend all day cleaning.

Netizens’ comments

1. I have never been wealthy, but I did indeed make a pretty good income at my job a few years ago. I’ve since changed course and work in a warehouse. I have no stress and I can’t tell you how nice that is!
2. People underestimate the virtue of a peaceful life where you don’t take your work stress home with you.
3. Do whatever makes you happy and don’t hang out with insecure or brainwashed people. I don’t get the stigma personally, I think it’s to do with not a lot of people wanting to do it or being squeamish, so they project that feeling to you. the work is ‘too hard’, but they’d also look down on you if you did want to do it and it was ‘too easy’.
4. Very important job! If you work at a school or hospital you will make a lot of special connections It’s cleaning but also much more. You are not just cleaning, but taking care of the building and everyone inside that building.

Wife has super high libido, I’m about average. Leads to her being unhappy with our life.

I’m 21M, she’s 21F. When I say this woman has a high drive, I mean she’s literally told me that ideally we’d f- 3 times a day every day.

Personally I’m a 4-6 times a week kinda guy at best. I try to give her what she wants to make her happy and satisfied but 3 times a day every day is unrealistic to me.

We’ve talked about it and she’s said that she “needs to feel craved and desired by me”, and doesn’t feel satisfied because she doesn’t feel that way.

Personally I can’t comprehend needing that much intimacy or expecting that much in order to feel satisfied or feel desired.

I’m hitting on this woman and touching her pretty much every second we’re together, so I’m not sure how she can say she doesn’t feel desired.

While I can’t understand it she is the woman I love and I want to give her everything she wants. How do we fix this?

I wanna emphasize too that this woman comes every single time we have f, I don’t just leave her high and dry so that’s not the problem.

Not looking to hear the whole “you got married too young” spiel. Both of us waited until marriage as well so the typical “you shouldn’t have gotten married so young so you could both experiment and know what you want/get it out of your system” advice isn’t applicable to us.

Netizens’ comments

1. See if there are ways you can meet her needs without doing something that is physically impossible for you.
2. Three times a day is on the high side of things for most people, but not all people. There is no ‘normal’. My partner and I are both this way and have both struggled with previous partners who weren’t.
3. I’m in the same boat bro except I’m the M with the super high drive. I want multiple times a day where my GF wants 3-5 times a week. It’s true that it leaves us feeling a bit undesired. I agree with the other commenter that initiating even a couple times a week goes a long way.
4. Tell her to wait for you so you can initiate and show your desire. Otherwise it’s all her pushing towards you never giving you the opportunity to go after her…

my husband (38M) wanted a family, but now when I am pregnant (28F) I think he regrets it. What should I do?
Posting the same post for a second time because it got removed…

I am coming here for some advice because I don’t know what to do anymore.

So here we go with the story…

I (28) and my husband (38) are together since 2015 and married since 2020. Shortly after we started dating in 2015 we were basically just having fun, living totally carefree.

However, we decided that one day we would like to have a child – he already has a child from a previous relationship. In the past maybe should be a red flag for me that he doesn’t really care about his son, he says he loves him dearly and he buys him presents. When it comes to raising his son, he always was saying ”I believe his mother and her new husband can raise him right”, and that’s it. He did not care much about how he is raised.

To me, he was always saying how he loves children and can’t wait to have children with me. So in 2020, we married because I said I don’t want to be a single mother and I want a ring before I get pregnant. Now, I am 6 months pregnant with our first baby boy.

And here is where the issue is starting, my husband doesn’t have a job even though there are plenty of job offers where they are looking for someone immediately, but still, he is unemployed.

I work my butt off to make money for a living while I am having problems with hormones, I feel how it’s affecting me and the baby. Also, I am the one who is taking care of household chores – I do all cleaning and cooking, and sometimes I am so tired that I need to decide if after work I want to shower or eat because I am so exhausted that I can’t do both.

I thought we are on the same page, and we are sacrificing our carefree lives so our son can have happy childhood where all his needs are met, where he can be raised in a nice loving environment, where he can receive a good education, etc.

I said to my husband many times, once our child is grown and living on his own, we always can just pack our things and move. But he hates everything. Also, he started to smoke. We barely can afford food and stuff for the baby/nursery.

Last weekend I had a mental breakdown in front of my father and I finally told him everything that’s going on in my relationship with my husband – how I feel stressed out by lack of responsibility from his side, how I don’t know how to handle his negative emotions, how he is unwilling to find a job, how I am tired of paying for him while I am struggling to buy groceries and things for the baby (crib, stroller, clothes, bottles, there are just so many necessities that I need to buy before the baby is born).

Thank god for my father, who assured me that I should not worry about money because he will buy all things I need, I should just take care of myself and my baby.

But this is not solving the situation with my husband, even though I am much less stressed out, I still don’t know how to help my husband with his negative emotions. How I can make him feel better? Why he is not happy about the baby? Why he is not glad to sacrifice a few years of his life for a child he ”wanted so much”? Isn’t it something that parents should do? I really thought we are on the same page… apparently, we aren’t.

Of course, I thought about divorce, but I don’t want to rush such an extreme decision, first I would like to try to help my husband. But how? What I can do if he is full of negative emotions and he hates everything? When I ask him if he hates also me and the baby, he says no, that he loves us and we are the only joy in his life. But I can see in his eyes how unhappy he is. I really don’t know how to change this situation…

A coworker died yesterday.

Having a coworker suddenly die really brought to attention how little companies actually cares about its employees.

This kid was only 19 and his death was very sudden. Being as we were all incredibly fond of him, and several of the crew were close with him, we were of course pretty distraught over the whole situation.

So we end up with a crew of four on what should have been a crew of eight. I called and let my manager know we were closing cause there was no way we would be able to work with what we had. He was sympathetic and said yes of course.

Then an hour later I got a call from him. He’s spoken with his boss and they have determined, “we still have a business to run,” and demanded that we open and serve guests.

I refused. My crew was already incredibly stressed out and I wasn’t going to add to it by having a bunch of people being pissed off that their food isn’t fast enough.

He did offer to buy pizza for the crew and to try to entice people to come in and help us out.. but who wants to have a pizza party when they are upset about the loss of a friend? And why is that always the go to?

I hate working for these people. I hate knowing that if any of us drop dead our corporate doesn’t give a damn about us. I just needed to get this off my chest.

Netizens’ comments

1. Ah yes the universal sign of corporate “empathy”, a pizza party. Super disgusting by them, good on you though for standing your ground
2. I had a fellow supervisor have heart surgery and was suppose to be out for a long time… he came back 4 months later because his boss was pressuring him to come back sooner, he did and a week later had another heart attack and died.. that same day his boss posted the job position online… right then I knew I didn’t wanna work there anymore
3. Please send the manager a pizza whenever they have a death in the family.

My fiancé cheated on me with my father.

Me 27m, fiancé 26f call her L, my father 52m call him B, my mother 50f call her R. Like many who’ve had something like this happen I never thought something like this would happen to me but here we are. I’ll try and be as clear and precise as I can, but it’s only been a week so if I start to lose it during the telling of this, I’m sorry.

L and I met in her freshman year. We later found out we lived near each other and used to go home together. After hanging out at school we started to date. I have a close-knit family as did she, so we told our families right away I had met hers plenty of times when dropping her off, but it was nothing more than an introduction and exchanging pleasantries.

Both of our families accepted each other with open arms and our relationship grew. I was a year ahead of her so when I graduated, I went home where I was offered a good job with great pay.

I visited her at school whenever I got the chance and whenever she came home, we would make time for each other. After she graduated, like me she was offered a position at the company she works at now with great pay. After living together for about three years I proposed, and we have been planning our wedding since. Now onto the part you are all reading for.

Looking back there was plenty of things I overlooked that I just wrote off thinking my father was just trying to welcome my ex into our family. Things like my father calling her all the time and if I was around, they would just tell me they were talking about the upcoming family party or something along those lines.

One time L was in the shower and her phone rang I seen it was my dad, so I answered when he realized it was me, he sounded both upset and surprised that I picked up I then asked what’s up he responded that he wanted to talk to L about my mother’s birthday that was in a week and after a minute we ended the call. Even typing this out now I feel like an idiot for not seeing it sooner.

On the day I found out it was like any other day, L had Thursdays off, so she made breakfast for both of us. When I set out for work, she gave me a kiss and told me to have a great day. During my drive to work I realized I had forgotten some paperwork I would need for a meeting I had at 3pm. I shrugged it off and told myself I would just go home at lunch to get it.

L texted me throughout the day talking about all the casual stuff a couple talks about like what do you want for dinner, I did the laundry do you want me to hang it up for you blah blah blah. I didn’t think it necessary to text her I was coming home for lunch so when it came around, I just left work and went home.

When I got home, I opened the door, I was met with a scene out of a movie where a man comes home early and catches his spouse cheating such a cliche.

There was the sound of faint moans echoed through my apartment. I stood at the door in utter shock my brain was a mix of rage, sadness and disgust but if you were a fly on my wall, you would see what looked like a statue I just couldn’t move.

When I finally snapped too, not knowing how much time had passed, I took out my phone to record, I picked up all the clothes that were on the floor and threw them out. After, I filmed the walk to my bedroom, the door was open I stood in the doorway filming for about a minute then flipped on the lights.

They both jumped at the sudden light and looked at me and to my utter shock it was my father in the bed with her, after the initial stun my father noticed I was recording and started to panic trying to find anything to cover himself and telling me to stop recording.

He found a towel and wrapped it around himself and started to walk toward me, I told him if you don’t want to get hurt stop coming to me, he either didn’t care or didn’t hear me and reached for my phone.

I hit him square on the jaw his head bounced off the door and slumped to the ground. L shrieked I aimed the camera at L and said concerned about your f–buddy but nothing to say to your fiancé?

My father woke up after about a minute nap and I told them I just needed to come pick something up for work so I’m heading back now if either of you are here when I get back, I’ll send this video to everyone you know.

I ended the video looked at my dad who was still coming to and said you’re dead to me you’re no longer my father, but you might want to go home and talk to mum because I’ll be talking to her very soon.

one of the bosses at work called to ask where I was, I told her I was on my way back right now. When I got to her office to hand her the paperwork, I must have looked awful because she started asking what was wrong with me. I told her it was nothing and I’d be okay.

I could see her scanning me up and down and she noticed some blood on my collar and stood up rushed to me and said your bleeding. I looked down and said it was my fathers, she looked confused, so I pulled out my phone and showed her the video.

She watched it in it’s entirety she was introduced to L a few times but never my father. She sat there silent for a moment until it finally clicked that my fiancé was cheating on me but not only was she cheating, it was with my father.

She asked if there was anything she could do suggesting I take some time off, but I told her I can’t go back there right now. That I just need a minute and I’d be fine for the meeting, and I have another shirt in my office. The meeting went over fine I put on a smile for everyone like nothing had happened.

My boss came up to me after the meeting and asked how I could do that, but I just said I don’t know and went to my office. I then came home, and I was alone for the first time in a very long time.

I was kicked out of house for asking my girlfriend to marry me

Yesterday I asked my girlfriend for her hand in marriage, after 2 years of dating, and she accepted. When I got home and told my parents about it, they got furious, and said that I couldn’t have done it, said she will be a burden all my life, and said other things that I prefer not to repeat. All this just because she is blind.

I’m not a child, I’m 25 years old, I work hard and get paid well, I only lived with them for convenience. I’m absolutely sure of what I’m doing, she is the woman of my life, she’s beautiful, happy, she follows the same principles that I do and it’s with her that I want to share my life.

The fact that she can’t see doesn’t annul the thousands of qualities she has. But when I told this to my parents all I got was “get out of this house and only come back when you come to your senses”.

I did exactly as they asked, gathered my clothes, got my computer and left. I’m staying at a friend’s house until I find a place to rent

We are going to get married, we are going to build a beautiful family and no prejudice will stop us. I am not angry with my parents, but I don’t want any contact with them until they apologize for what they said, not to me but to my fiancée, and I want them to know that no one will disrespect or hurt my future wife, I will never let this happen.

Netizens’ comments

1. Congratulations for the future wedding. I’m sorry your family is so ableist and reacted that way. You’ll be better without them.
2. Congrats on the engagement. Hopefully you guys have a long and happy marriage.
3. Congratulations, your parents are trash if they’re knocking your future mrs over being visually impaired. Don’t pass on their last name.
4. Congrats!!
   Also I just find it funny people wait till people get engaged to complain about people’s partners.. like welp too late. Weirdos.