Have you ever heard the saying that “the private part is dark because you do it too much”? Many people are quite curious about the dull colour of the little “sister”.
Xiao Yongxian, a beautiful obstetrician and gynaecologist, explained that the colour of the private parts does change with age, but it has nothing to do with sexual experience. It is mainly affected by “three factors” including melanin precipitation caused by friction, physical fitness, and hormones in the body.
Do not wear leggings are the solution.
Xiao said in a video: “Generally, there is no obvious colour difference in the private parts of girls. After puberty, “there is an area” that will turn into a specific colour.” It is different from when I was a child, until after menopause, As we grow older, apart from some wrinkles, the colour of the lower body is not as dark as before.
In fact, it is related to hormones, not caused by too much “bedtime exercises” or eating foods that should not be eaten.
In addition, Xiao Yongxian also mentioned that wearing too tight underwear or jeans, long-term friction can also easily increase and precipitate melanin; the other is the physique some people have dark colours and some have light colours.
She reminded that because the skin is too dry, it is easy to age and cause pigmentation, so it is necessary to moisturize regularly, and not to wear tight underwear, or use laser or skin care products to lighten the dullness.
Taiwan’s most beautiful doctor said:
The Internet has also circulated the topic “Girls play with themselves too often, and the private parts are easy to turn black”. However, it is not true.
Xu Lanfang, the most beautiful doctor of sexology, emphasized that “playing with yourself will not make it black!” and pointed out that there are two main reasons for the darkening of girls’ lower body skin. Or it is often infected and easy to turn black, which has nothing to do with masturbation itself.
As for girls often “playing with themselves“, is it easy to cause infection? She explained that “this sentence cannot be wrong”, but it is a matter of probability.
When the frequency of “playing with themselves” increases, the probability of infection will also increase, but it does not mean that “playing with themselves” will definitely cause infection.
I had been casually dating the same guy for a few months and thought things were going well. We had been out on a few dates, but he was never very forthcoming with details about his life.
When I asked him where he worked, he would simply say that he was self-employed. I thought it was strange, but I didn’t push it as I figured he would tell me when he was ready.
Then one day, I received a text from a friend who had seen my boyfriend at a host bar. In case you don’t know, host bars are places where men are paid to entertain women. He was working as a host, essentially a gigolo.
At first, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had been dating this guy for a few months and I thought he was a decent person. I was devastated. I felt betrayed and angry. How could he be so deceptive?
I confronted my boyfriend about it and he admitted it was true. He told me he had been doing it for a few months to make extra money. He said he didn’t think it was a big deal and he thought I would be ok with it.
I was not ok with it. I was hurt and angry. I felt like he had been using me. It seemed like he was only dating me to satisfy his material needs. I told him I needed some space and we haven’t talked since then.
I’m still trying to process what happened. I’m still mad at him, but I can also see his side of the story. He was trying to make ends meet and he thought I would be ok with it. I can understand that, but it still doesn’t excuse how he deceived me.
It’s been a few weeks since this happened and I’m still trying to figure out what to do. I don’t know if I can forgive him or if I even want to try. All I can do is take some time to process my emotions and decide what to do next.
Overall, this has been a difficult experience for me. I’m still trying to make sense of it all and decide what to do. It’s been a tough few weeks, but I’m trying to focus on taking care of myself and figuring out what’s best for me.
For the past few months I feel that my bf doesnt prioritise me as much compared to before and has been putting less effort .. its like back then it was lvl 10 of effort and now lvl 3.
I also recently started noticing that hes becoming a mummy boy. We recently went overseas together and hes been giving live updates to her 24/7 and when I called him out for not posting me on his ig anymore like he used to, he told me he wanna enjoy the moment with me but at the same time hes busy texting his mom the entire time instead.
We also got into an argument bc he was going to his relative’s house and he said he will leave my place at 6pm, he then received a call from his mom and her telling him that shes otw to the location and he immediately ditched me two hours earlier than the agreed timing. He then blamed me for being selfish and taking away his family time when all i needed was to find out why the sudden change in attitude bc at the start of the rs, he would do whatever to maximise and spend more time with me knowing that both our love language is quality time.
Im more upset at the fact that i got baited than anything else? If only he didnt treat me like that from the beginning maybe i wouldnt have this high standards from him and when I told him how I felt hurt and neglected lately, he got furious and said how I dont appreciate his efforts anymore and hes loyal? As if being loyalty isnt the bare minimum.
Here are what netizens think:
U got baited? I think is the fact that u got unrealistic demands. Being ur bf doesnt mean his life has to revolve ard u coz that is very much what it sounds like u r demanding… his family will always be his family… u may nt be his gf one day… get the drift?
Welcome to the reality of dating 90% of local men. If they’re not still attached to their mom, it’s because you have become their mom. And when you start refusing to be their mom, they’ll run crying back to their mom. Either accept it or give up on them, because I’ve heard stories like this from so many Singaporean women and it’s such a sad pathetic joke by now.
think his mum either doesn’t like you, or is afraid of losing him to you. Unfortunately both are things that he needs to discover by himself. Sorry
all those reasonably attractive female commenters that say “oh im not materialistic” , “oh i dont mind going on dutch” , “character matters most”, “i dont need a condo” etc
Trust me they wont go out or marry a guy that is earning less than 4k.
This is because Even when they say want to stay in hdb, they want a big enough hdb and good location enough hdb which once again cost >600k . In addition, They still expect to be wined and dined, and with yearly regional trips and occasional staycations and gifts/flowers etc.
However you still have play the game. The reason is while you earn 4k, you also need their 4k
Ultimately society is quite realistic. While money cannot do everything, but without money you cant do anything.
Here are what netizens think:
Whether u earn 1k , 2k , 3k, 4K, be upfront lor, Tell them whether you have family commitments, need to support your parents ?? Any loan?? What you can provide ? How can you provide? Honestly I have guys who always tell me they Bo liew too. Then we go out , go Dutch lor , each pay our own , don’t be so bad to tok them too lah …. Don’t tok people’s hard earned $$$$
It’s just like a rich guy will most probably prefer to date a reasonably pretty and attractive girl right? Then can i say just because he wants to date a pretty girl, he is shallow? No. No, bec human beings are attracted to beautiful things and that is understandable. I think compatibility is not just a singular layer, it is physical, intellectual, spiritual, financial and lifestyle. Like if I’m a guy and I’m not there, I wouldn’t even dream about dating Kim lim. Or if I’m affluent but im an introvert and I don’t enjoy socialising, then I probably do not fit her bill too. We need to assess each other’s compatibility so we can enjoy longevity and fruitfulness with our partners!
But why want gf if money already struggling? Geylang settle la.. cheaper also. take money buy single scheme in geylang, be geylang VIP, life settle Liao.. good food, good life, got shelter.. settle already bruh..
my (21m) gf (20f) just broke up with me last thursday, without saying a word. she just ghosted me, blocked me on whatsapp, telegram, and even my phone number when i tried to call her.
we had been together for 9 months. she was my very first gf, while she previously had 2 exes (recent one being 30yo), and 2 fwbs (recent one being 40yo) which came as a shock to me when i found out later, but i just chose to ignore her past.
things were going well for us the first few months, going on fun dates, texting until 4am everyday.. at that time, it really felt like she was a genuinely nice person, who was easy-going and fun to be with.
the 2 of us came from vastly different family backgrounds, with me being more well-off while her having to rent a room to live in with her divorced stepmother.
knowing this, i offered for her to move in with me in my room at my house for 3 months, as it would more conducive for her studies, which my parents agreed to.
the first few weeks of living together was fun, spending time and cuddling together everyday. i gave her all the love she needed, dry her hair, bathe her everyday, and even wash her bra and underwear together with her every week. other than these chores, i even helped her edit her assignments and reports for school.
over time, this became a norm, and she started taking these for granted, getting annoyed when i do not have the time to do those stuffs for her due to my own schoolwork piling up. i had no choice but to sacrifice some work and sleep just to do these for her. but it really felt like there was no appreciation for what i did.
as more weeks went by, more red flags started surfacing. she would complain to me when my parents cooks meal that she doesn’t like, or get annoyed at me for not spending enough time with her when i have got assignments to complete, and many other small things which made me see her true self.
but even with all these, i chose to forgive and forget, hoping that she will become a better version of herself one day, hoping that this could really be a long-lasting relationship.
unfortunately, i was wrong. recently, we started to drift apart, texting less, hanging out less. despite all this, i still helped her edit her personal statements in her uni applications, hoping that i can make a difference in her future, or even OUR future.
less than a week after i finished editing her final application for her, she blocked me off completely without a goodbye. i tried to meet her at her home, but she just avoided me completely.
3 days ago, i went to her workplace, hoping for a proper talk to find some closure. i saw her with another guy. she had cheated on me, after all we have been through together for the past 9 months, without even a proper goodbye. that was my last time seeing her.
my first rs was such a shitty one. living together with someone can really help you see their true colours. i regret staying in this rs for so long, even after seeing all the red flags, genuinely hoping that some day she will change.
but i guess, some people never change. some people will never be grateful for what they have, until it’s gone.
knowing that i really tried my best in providing everything for her, this breakup has hurt me so much that im not sure whether i would be capable of loving anyone else the same. i dont think i will ever be able to get over this completely. i feel used and thrown away like i meant nothing. whereever i go, our memories together would keep coming back.
what i learnt from this is: LEAVE before you get pulled even further into a hopeless rs. staying longer would just make it even more painful when it eventually ends..
Anyone feel like being Singaporean is really limiting?
I’m dead set on migrating because I feel like Singapore is extremely limiting in terms of things to do and in opportunities. It’s all about study, NS, work. I want to go hunting or something or own an airsoft gun.
And I know by saying this there will be people who think I’m crazy or something. Either way it feels like you can’t even have your own opinions on certain things in SG. Not that long ago people were scared to even talk about politics for gods sake.
Granted at the same time it also feels like for some strange reason Singaporeans really do not deserve nice things.
Netizens’ comments
ok bye, won’t miss you
Try living overseas for a short while and then see whether its for you, grass is always greener on the other side
Yeah please migrate if you feel like Singapore is not the place for you And this post just gives off the edgy, naive and unsatisfied teenager who hasn’t hit 20 yet ranting about life vibes. Your views come across as though you might be in a rather limiting social echo-chamber yourself. Take up a social or political cause and see if your views change. Grass is always greener on the other side. Do check what life will be in the country of your choice and how to get there Not happy here then migrate lor. What’s stopping u?
If hunting and wargame is what you want, then sure singapore is not a place really for you, maybe Japan? But thats not equivalent to “limiting”, just for your hobbies. In addition if you think you are free to say whatever the hell you want in western society, oh boy i cant tell you how wrong you are. West is anything but freedom of speech, you can only say whatever the hell you want if it follows the political correctness, otherwise be prepared to face actual hate and rage coming towards you. Includes and not limited to robbery, vandalism,harassment and assaults.
I always have dreams of living here, here and there but when I travel I see how gpod we have certain things sometimes
Nope. Being a Singaporean is not limiting. You are a Singaporean right? The fact that you are thinking about migrating shows how priviledged you are. If you want to go, you should definitely try (like I truly encourage it). And you are right, Singaporeans really don’t deserve nice things. The fact that you have one of the strongest passports in the world and you still have this “innocent” question of whether being a Singaporean is limiting goes to show how you, as a Singaporean, really don’t deserve nice things.
My(18m) girlfriend(18f) poked holes in the condoms
For context, we grew up together. She was the one who asked me out cause I was way too intimidated, with her being way out of my league.
She told me a few times that she really wants to have kids now. I told her we should wait until we have full time jobs and enough money to raise a child.
She protested that her parents are rich enough to support but eventually dropped it, making me think that there won’t be any issue.
We have a couple of packs of condoms at her place. One day I forgot my phone there and went back for it. That’s how I found her with a needle, poking the condoms.
She was so shocked but then said that it’s my fault she has to do this. I still love and want to be with her but how do I make her realize this is a big violation?
Logic is telling me it is safest to break up with her but I’m terrified of being without her. We’ve been dating for two years now and before this fiasco I’ve thought about marrying her one day.
Netizens’ comments
Run away as fast as you can.
Nope. No. Never talk to this maniac again. Having kids is nothing small to decide in a day. If you are not ready, you should not be forced to comply. This goes no matter which gender’s doing which. She’s going behind your back, lying to your face, and doesn’t care what you have to say about it. She crossed a line, and you shouldn’t bend to give her another chance after this. Will she learn her lesson? Who knows!? You can’t allow her to break your boundaries again. She’s gotta go.
Get her to admit to what she did by message, act like you wanna talk about it subtly Like start with “Honestly i feel so bad that you did this, ilysm but i am so confused as to why you would to this to me “ And if she doesnt say it out herself, then say “you poked holes in the condoms thats so messed up” and wait for her to say something stupid like “yeah i did but-“ It might save you if there is a hearing one day
The problem with looking at the world through rose colored glasses is that red flags, just look like regular flags.
I used to be a chiobu, how do I become a hot mum now?
I was a competitive netball player and was in beauty pageant (no shame is saying this since it’s anon online), but life has slowly wore me down.
I used to eat health food, have an exercise routine, yoga etc. But these days it just feels like I’m fighting so hard to stay afloat with caffeine, disrupted nights (I have two kids now and hubby wants one more – I don’t mind but I feel like I need to get back myself first).
Weekdays are just trying to get through the kids routine, chionging work so that I don’t have to bring work home etc.
Going to work, I put on minimal make-up on my face and I just dress in the same usual clothes that I know would look forgiving.
But deep down, I know my skin has gotten quite bad when I didn’t even need to maintain last time. Old itch scars coz of bad habits don’t seem to heal as fast or as well.
Some flabby parts are showing but I don’t have time for exercise on weekdays (hoping to squeeze some time on weekend).
I feel like my youth is over but yet it shouldn’t when I look at my peers doing all their rock climbing etc.
Something feels like self-care shouldn’t be tough, and these days I’ve been thinking if there’s those kind of beauty salon that can “fix me up”.
Just maybe let me lie there and let them make me beautiful again? I want it to help me start having healthy lifestyle, exercise routine feels like a natural part of my life (rather than to struggle to start to a routine again). How much will that cost? Is $200-300 a month sufficient? Never been to any of those places, how does it work?
Any tips or advice will be appreciate, thanks in advance.
Netizens’ comments
Instagram “hot mums” are putting in fitness classes 6x a week and following ridiculous diets. It is really that difficult to maintain after you get kids Every other advice here is just feel good crap
Hey mama you’re doing your best and you should be proud of it. You see dark circles and flabby meat but I see a responsible mum doing her best. If your child is young, this stage won’t last. Focus on having enough rest and having the best life with your spouse and kids. I’m sure to them you’re the most beautiful mum in the world. Yes rest is the most important and I know its hard right now but it will get better. Once the kids can sleep through the night you can have beauty sleep again. Outsource whatever you can and want to. Cleaning, teaching the kids, even waking up with the kids at night. It’s not your sole responsibility. Make sure husband steps up and if it’s still not enough hire helper if you can. Best if you can also tap on support network like family and friends. Drink enough water this is very important!you’re probably too busy to remember. Get those water bottle with markings so you remember to stay hydrated throughout the day. Maybe those sports bottle that you squeeze jnto your mouth so you can just drink with one hand while other hand can carry baby. Try doing YouTube workouts if your body allows it. Not right after giving birth though!! It’s free n convenient! Can even squat with baby LOL Lastly can go for facial or massage. Check out fave app there’s usually trial price like 18, 28 etc but they will usually hardshell you to buy package.. but can say no if you don’t want to. But if you want consistency can consider signing up too if price is reasonable. It’s cheaper in jb batam Bangkok etc if you’re able to go sometimes!
I came across this post the other day and I felt the strong urge to ask our community, especially those who are seeking or had seek help with regards to mental health with our public healthcare system.
Long story short. My spouse is what you consider as someone with a history of mental illness. Those who have suffered disorders know that it is not easy to just “be happy lah”. It is literally a problem that even the patient knows that they aren’t “normal” and they know they need help. Besides various ways to cope, like family support, distant from triggers, taking breaks etc, sometimes you really have to seek professional help. Not just someone to talk to. Actual medication and proper review and discussion.
My wife tried visiting private practices for a while, but unfortunately we couldn’t sustain it as private practices were REALLY expensive. We felt like only they rich could have the luxury of visiting private practices (the irony when alot of patients comes from not so well to do background)
Hence we diverted our option to public healthcare. Which is to visit the health and mind clinic in the polyclinic. In the beginning we thought we could see the light at the end of the tunnel, hoping that our public healthcare system could really deliver mental healthcare like what all the promotional advertisements or posting were suggesting.
Unfortunately we were greatly disappointed.
Throughout the past year, appointments were 3 to 4 months apart. During each appointment, the doctors asked basic questions and gave very basic replies like “How are you feeling these days / has your mood improve since the last visit/ do you have any side effects. Ok good you can proceed to the next room.” and then they’ll review to either increase or reduce dosage. Each appointment last merely 5 to 10 minutes and the next follow up is 4 months later.
Don’t get me wrong. The medications did helped. It helped reduce her anxiety attacks. The medications were designed to control their emotions, keeping them stagnant and not worst. But other than that, the clinic did nothing further to aid her in coping. They didn’t share with her coping techniques. And most of all, it felt like a lip service care without any empathy. Just throwing you the medicine and you have to deal with it yourself in the next 4 months. If you can’t deal with it, they’ll just increase your dosage and wait for another 4 months
At the end of the day, during the 3 to 4 months of wait between appointments, we have to figure out own coping techniques with the help of the medications.
My wife has since been much better but she has strongly remarked that besides the medicine, the health and mind clinic did nothing else to help her and she wouldn’t attribute her recovery to the clinic.
Perhaps what we need from the public healthcare system is a more thorough overhaul. However, it is likely that they’re understaffed. More patients to doctors ratio. So only the severe cases like severe self harm cases will get priority care. But everyone else falls through the cracks and left to struggle and deal with it on their own because they are not deemed as urgent cases. The shortage of manpower in this area needs to be fixed first so that more patients struggling with mental health issues can seek help in a more timely and regular manner, instead of being left to float by themselves and trying not to drown.
This is possibly why lots of people have second thoughts about seeking help. Precisely because it is so difficult to get through all this barriers. A lot of time, effort, money, and yet only getting irregular appointments and lack of care and empathy. We need a good look and review of our public healthcare system with regards to emotional and mental welfare. I’m not sure through what means we can communicate this feedback?
Netizens’ comments
Many years ago, when I was a university student, I went through a period of disordered eating and my mother brought me to a psychiatrist in the public sector (can’t remember which hospital)
Looking back was a really traumatic experience because all he wanted to do was to put me on medication that increase my appetite so that I can eat more and not be underweight…But wtf, I was be in the throes of an eating disorder and terrified to gain weight?! Obviously I didn’t go back, and struggled with it for a good number of years before I overcame it myself.
I did a rotation at IMH as a pharmacy graduate and got to experience the providence of mental health services, pretty intimately I would say. I guess it helped me understand the position of specific healthcare professionals for each part of the patient journey. The psychiatrist assess your condition, look for side effects from medication, make sure it’s doing its job keeping you stable and that’s pretty much the bulk of it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a really essential role. Private sector doctors may be more empathetic (I know a good number professionally) I think just by virtue of them having more time with each patient.
But by and large psychotherapy is (and should be) referred to therapists who is more trained in handling such the therapy part of things. Some psychiatrists may be trained in psychotherapy, but why do it when you have a trained therapist to offload that segment for you while you focus on the medication part of things for all the patients waiting in the line?
It’s unfortunate due to lack of manpower and abysmal working conditions, you don’t have enough therapists in the public sector to service everybody timely.
There are many very good psychotherapy and counselling services operating privately and they can be very good choices for those who need more intensive follow-up. I’ve had the opportunity to work (professionally) with a few and I’m happy to share resources – slide in my DMs. I’m sure they would have been very helpful in my own recovery journey if I knew about them early.
But as many rightly pointed out, specific conditions like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder require lifelong medication that is prescribed by the psychiatrist. There’s also a lot of overlap in symptoms for different conditions and misdiagnosis may happen (of course unfortunate) so that is why many people may not feel the mood stabilising despite medication from the psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist keeps changing medication in order to find the right one, and sometimes it may be helpful to seek second opinion et cetera. I understand that it is frustrating and makes some lose the little faith they have in the system but that is the nature of diagnosis and treatment of complex cases.
At the same time, regular therapy to learn coping mechanisms are really important and should not be overlooked (as it tends to be in Singapore). For those who find their mental health journey disappointing and/or traumatic, looking for someone to talk to, feeling lost or lonely or stuck, you might want to speak to a private therapist to a counsellor instead/as well? They can be pretty pricey, but for good reason, being professionals.
Anybody else had experience with aggressive insurance agents at MRT stations?
I was at Kovan MRT this evening walking towards the gantry to tap in when I saw a insurance ‘booth’ so I faster gehsiao take out phone to avoid eye contact, as I was reaching the gantry I thought I was safe but this lady literally jumped in front of me and blocked me from tapping in to offer me a $1 coupon.
I had my earbuds on so I smiled back and put my hand up to signal ‘no thanks’ politely but she continued to block me and kept shoving the coupon in my face.
I was rushing for time and really didn’t have the energy to deal with what was going on so I RAN to another gantry.
Guess what, she also RAN to follow me and continued to block me with her entire body while reaching her hand out to stop me from tapping in.
I was starting to get irritated so I just death stared her back and I think after like 5 seconds she got the hint and walked away.
Anybody else had similar experiences before?
Netizens’ comments
I just pretend I’m deaf and start inventing sign languages on the spot, using my fingers to weave all the Naruto hand signs and they leave me alone.
For me I pretend I’m on the phone with my doctor and say out loud “my disease is contagious?!” and then i pretend to cough really loud and they will walk away.
I just tell them i’m a convicted rapist.
I usually make up a new language and start speaking gibberish and they will give up because of the “language barrier”.
I had similar experiences at Tampines bus interchange years ago. Not sure what product or service the guy was selling, but once I realized he was a promoter, I tried to siam. He followed me. So I literally ran to escape from him. He ran after me until I hid behind a pillar and he lost me. Siao…
Once at Clarke Quay mrt, I had a chick kept following me. I had to verbally say ‘please stop following or else I’ll call the police’ and she gave a ‘okay’ look at the goddamn escalator up to Clarke Quay Central. That’s a good 5 to 10 metres away from the booth beside the gantry. Like how desperate are you for money
Female insurance agents mainly target young gullible men, thinking their looks can sell you shit. They also like to target young adults who, after years of ‘courtesy’ indoctrination in schools, cannot seem to get out of uncomfortable situations without sounding impolite.
