A 33-year-old woman shared how she has been married to her husband for 3 years but is unhappy.

She reasoned that it was because her S life is dull and she feels lonely.

She says that they have S on average, once every two months.

She feels that her husband has zero interest in her and she had requested to split up.

Here is the story:

“I’m a 33 yo lady married to my husband for 3 years and dated for 10 years.

To him, we are having mostly happy, friendly, and supportive relationship.

To me, I am not happy with the dull S life, in average once in 2 months. While the relationship seems fine but I feel extremely lonely, rejected, angry, and helpless, especially I have no explanation for why this is going on.

I have talked to him about this multiple times, telling him my feeling and wanting to understand his too. He always just simply brush off with lame excuses e.g. he forgot.

After several attempts of discussions, I have resigned myself to the fact that he has zero interest in me. So, I requested to split up a few times, he always reject. I don’t understand why is he so mean for dragging me down like that. Why can’t we just move on. I am stuck I don’t enjoy my marriage life.

If I am to take the chance, I have to try to accept that I will always be unfulfilled, feeling rejected by his lack of affection.”

How to save a marriage

The first step to salvaging a marriage is to communicate with your partner. You and your partner need to be honest and open with each other about what is causing the strain. You need to find out why things have gone wrong, and then come up with a plan to fix it.

The next step is to be understanding. It is important to remember that everyone has their own perspective and feelings. You and your partner should be willing to listen to each other and show understanding and respect. This kind of communication is key to salvaging a marriage.

The third step is to be willing to compromise. There will be times when it is necessary to compromise in order to move forward. This can be difficult, but it is necessary in order for the marriage to be salvaged.

The fourth step is to focus on the positive. It can be easy to focus on the negative in a marriage, but it is important to focus on the positive as well. Spend more time focusing on the things that make you both happy and the things that you both enjoy doing together.

Finally, take time for each other. Make sure that you are taking time to spend quality time together. This can be anything from going out on a date or just having a night in and watching movies. This will help to build intimacy and connection.

These are just a few tips that can help to salvage a marriage. It may not be easy, but with patience, understanding and communication, it is possible to save a marriage.

Images source: Unsplash

Divorce hurts everyone, not just you

Just a PSA to everyone to treat relationships leading to marriage seriously. Open your eyes wide before getting into a marriage. Nobody wants a failed relationship, and no doubt, and we all know a divorce hurts. For some only momentarily, before experiencing a sense of relief. But what many don’t realise, is the impact it may have on people around you, and the consequences it may have on your future relationships.

Divorce is traumatic not just for you, but the people close to you who had to support you through those difficult times. Even worse if the circumstances leading to the divorce was toxic in ways that affected your family and friends. Your loved ones are going to remember that trauma, and that trauma WILL resurface when you are finally in a good place and in a healthy relationship, when you’re about to marry a good person. Not because they can’t see that the person is different and that the circumstances are different, but because of trauma, it’s going to take time for trust to be rebuilt, for faith that history won’t repeat itself again.

And you will get secondary hurt, again, from the reactions of your loved ones around you as you prepare to get married a second time. It will make you doubt if you should even get married again if it’s going to trigger everyone so badly. Even if they admit your new partner is different. Their words and actions, advice on precautions, and reactions WILL hurt you, again. Both out of love for you, but also out of fear of having to go through the same thing all over again.

So think through it carefully, and make sure the person you’re marrying is the right person to marry. Don’t take it lightly. It’s a solemn life-changing affair. It’s not so easy and consequence free to get out of a marriage as the culture today would like us to believe.

I’m still a proponent of marriage. But just really be sure and committed before you do it.

I had been dating my boyfriend for close to two years now and things were going great, until one day he told me that his friends wanted to take him out for a night of partying.

I was immediately overwhelmed by a sense of dread. I had never been comfortable with his friends and I knew that if he went out with them, he’d end up in some kind of trouble. I begged him not to go, but he just laughed it off and said that he was going out with them.

I was so angry and scared that I forbade him from going, telling him that if he did, I would break up with him. I thought that would be the end of it, but the next day he was still planning to go out with them. I had to do something, so I took away his car keys and told him that he couldn’t leave the house.

He was furious and yelled at me, telling me that I was being ridiculous and controlling. I was hurt and scared, but I held my ground and told him that I wasn’t going to let him go. I was sure I was doing the right thing, but before I knew it, he had slammed the door and stormed out of the house.

I was so worried, I called his friends to see if he had gone out with them, but they said that he hadn’t turned up. I was frantic and my heart was pounding in my chest as I tried to think of where he could have gone. I searched everywhere for him and eventually, I almost went to the police.

After hours of searching, I eventually found him at a friend’s house. He was safe, but he refused to talk to me when I got there. He was so angry at me for forbidding him from going out with his friends that he wouldn’t even look at me.

I begged him to talk to me, but he just said that I had ruined his life and that he never wanted to speak to me again.

He got in his car and drove away, leaving me standing in the street, sobbing.

I never heard from him again. I called his friends and family, but no one knew where he was. I was so worried and scared that something had happened to him, but I had no way of finding out.

I felt guilty and helpless and I blamed myself for his disappearance. I had tried to protect him, but instead, I had driven him away. I had no idea where he was or if he was even alive.

It’s been almost two years since he disappeared and I still feel the same guilt and worry. I hope that one day he’ll come back, but I know that it’s unlikely. He was my first love and I’ll never forget him, but it’s too late now. He’s gone and all I can do is hope that he’s safe and happy wherever he is.

Power struggle in a relationship

I’ve been together with my partner for 1.5 years and do think that he is someone I would like to live my life with. Personally I believe that everyone is imperfect in some way, and that all relationships has its ups and downs in its lifetime.

I’ve always been attracted to “drive”, to have someone not just to grow old together, but to “grow” together.

To start the story, my relationship with my boyfriend is not a traditional one and it comes with an imbalance of financials. I (female) am currently drawing a salary of more than 2x that of my partner (male).

In all honesty, I do think money can be earned and is not a representative of a person’s ability. I am also more of a “earn more and save more” person whilst he is a “spend within your means” person. Both of which are equally correct.

There are many parts of my partner that I admire, the fact that he treats the less fortunate well (is nice towards cleaners, elderly), a natural “people person” and also a smart guy, in both EQ and IQ. He treats me well, dotes on me and looks after me.

Over our period of dating, my partner has been relatively resistant to the growth mindset, happy with the status quo and has constantly voiced that he is happy being a supportive partner & a house husband.

I have always believed that people shouldn’t be forced to do what they do not want to do, and have come to terms that my partner has no plans to hustle at work (or out). A part of me sees it as such a huge waste of his amazing potential but it’s fine – I don’t want to see him unhappy.

With that being said, I do think it is right for me to keep him to his word of being a “supportive partner”.

Till today, he has refused to meet 90% of my close friends even though I had mentioned that it would mean a lot to me (the relationships are extremely important to me and my career). FYI – we have already met each others family and his close friends. Because of this, I often feel sad not having the support I really need.

He also constantly makes it a point for me to feel small. He would nitpick on my mistakes, making sure I paid for it by doing the same thing against me in days/months/years later just to proof a point that I was wrong.

Oftentimes, he would see me as a villain in the relationship. In one instance, he accused me of trapping him into applying for a BTO for the sake of me wanting to own a home when it was really for his sake (income ceiling issues) Like bruv, I can buy my own house.

I’d like to emphasise here that he really does treat me well and makes me happy. He takes care of me, cooks for me and takes long walks with me. But like I said, it’s not always sunshine and rainbows (no relationship is). Trying to think positive here.

I think my partner acts the way he does because of financial inferiority but i do hope he knows that I see him as an equal.

Not asking for advice to stay/ break-up, I’ve already decided that I would like for this to be a lifelong relationship.

Just wondering if there’s anyone out there with a similar experience, happily married and can provide some words of encouragement that I can keep for life.

When I was still a kid (14) a 40-something-year-old man exposed himself to me in a parking lot. HAHA so funny, right? Get over it, it’s not a violent act.

Well, actually he ended up hopping in his car and began following me. I didn’t know what to do, I was petrified and small and knew that I wouldn’t stand much of a chance if he was able to get me into a secluded area where he could possibly attack.

The only thing I could think to do was memorize the plates on the car and book it.

Luckily as I ran, I happened to stumble upon a security patrolling by the library, where I was able to report the incident (later had to ID him, though he plead guilty prior to the trial). I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t come across the police, how far he would have kept following, or if he would have dragged me into his vehicle once I reached a more deserted area.

I looked up his record later to find he had been charged with violent crimes in the past.

A man exposing himself is always a potential threat because the situation can quickly escalate into a full-on assault, and you have no idea whether that will happen or not. What happened to me may not seem like a big deal to most people. However, as a child, having to come home with the police and explain what happened to my parents, and later in detail to a prosecutor, was humiliating and, to some extent, traumatizing.

The point of me posting this is not to say whether the guy in the picture was a threat or not or to discuss his actions specifically, but more to discuss how the act of a man exposing himself to a woman against her will, is threatening in many contexts, though it seems that many people view it as immature at worst.

Of course, many men and women already realize this, but not all of them. Sometimes I feel like brushing off or excusing actions such as exposing oneself to an unwilling bystander allows institutional sexism to continue. By affirming, and not condemning such actions, we are saying, hey its okay to make women feel uncomfortable because it’s just how things work.

Anyway, it’s late so I’m getting off topic, the point was, I consider the action threatening because it can and sometimes does lead to a more serious offense.

It could have escalated in my situation had I not found help.

I hope this gets posted..I just want to let this out of my heart.. Hoping that it’ll help me get through it a lil.

I was in an extremely abusive relationship for 5 years. It was my first relationship too. My ex was the girl I love at the beginning. But over the years…she got very abusive.

She has kicked me, punched me, pulled my hair, screamed at me in public, destroyed my belongings, gaslitted me, stole my money, and threaten to k**l herself whenever there’s a fight or when I said we should break up. And the things she said was my fault? When I didn’t text her cause I was in a meeting, when another woman happens to walk by my line of sight, when I was talking to a female friend regarding assignments, and other things in those lines.

I was always the one taking the blame. Always the one apologizing. Always the one fighting for the relationship to work. Always the one on my knees begging her to stop hurting me. She knows I have abandonment issues, so to hurt me more, she will start a fight out of thin air, and immediately block me everywhere under the excuse that she needs time. It was my first relationship… I thought this is normal…. I never did the same to her at all..

Unfortunately, I didn’t feel the love anymore… I want to break up… But society keeps telling me that as a man, it’s always my fault. And as a man, I shall never leave a relationship and always need to accept her flaws and work through it. I gaslighted myself so hard that I blame myself for everything. I stayed and tried to make it work, to make my love for her spark again.

One day.. I found out that she cheated on me more than 20 times. When I confronted her, she proudly said she did, and felt no remorse. I held back tears. I looked at her, turned around, and walked away. I never seen her again. I blamed myself for her cheating. I told myself it’s my fault. I harm myself every night, asking myself where did I go wrong…what did I do… Many occasions, I tried to take my own life. She on the other hand told everyone that I’m the abusive one. Everyone just listens cause “believe all woman”, right?

It’s been 10 years since that happened, and I’m still traumatized. I have severe PTSD and Severe Depression. Whenever I see people arguing, broken glass, broken furnitures, I immediately couldn’t breathe properly. I have to take pills everyday.

I don’t remember what it feels like to smile or laugh. I don’t know how to do that anymore…

I’ve lost so much.. And the biggest thing I’ve lost is myself..