I (21f) paid for my bf(23m) for our entire vacation.
So I (21f) recently flew to Bali for 13 days, Little back story I don’t live with my boyfriend (23m) and we have been dating for two years,
He makes about $300 more than me per week and we have similar expenses, before this we split joint expenses perfectly 50/50 and have had a stress free relationship.
So during December my parents were kind enough to book me and my boyfriend a trip to Bali as my Christmas/21st birthday present, they paid for the flights and accommodation everything else was up to us, It was booked for early March.
All went well and then a week before we were meant to leave I asked bf “hey have you saved up some money for our vacay” he responded “yeah no stress”
But two days into our holiday he ran out of money and I had to pay for everything including his, food, drinks, alcohol and cabs, he even asked for $50 for gambling, because he literally wouldn’t pay
The total was around $1700 for both of us when I confronted him he said well “sorry I can’t touch my savings, I didn’t budget right I guess”.
When I asked if he was going to make it up to me somehow he said half of my spending doesn’t count as spending anyways because it was my “birthday money” that’s referring to the about $400 cash I got from my friends to spend. His only saving grace is he paid for his half of activities we did like the zipping ect.
I just want some advice as to if I’m over reacting as I am pretty upset and hold some resentment or if I should just drop it and be grateful I had a good time. Other then this he’s loving and sweet
Netizens’ comments
What were his savings for if not to use on holiday? Does he expect you to fund most things usually?
You should consider his behaviour a red flag. Considered your parents paid for his flights and accommodation and he did not feel the need to reprocicate and to cover some of your expenses is a selfish and unkind behaviour. He is just thinking of himself and his entitlement. Like you inviting him puts all the financial burden on you.
You ask him to pay you half of the money and then you break up with him.
Hired a girl because she was hot then had to fire her.
Happened a few months ago and I still feel awful. She was a customer, absolutely gorgeous and wanted a job, so I gave her an interview.
It’s an entry level job you don’t even need much qualifications, it’s basically retail, there’s a little more too it than your average retail job, but still not too difficult.
The interview didn’t go great, she hadn’t been able to hold a job for more than a few months but I hired her anyway.
Tried to reason that I’d give her a shot but regretted it as soon I mailed her her welcome letter. So many red flags that I honestly ignored because she was pretty.
It was bad, I kept her around for three weeks hoping she would improve, but she was a total airhead, nothing was sticking. Everyday my staff was telling me to get rid of her. We have a short probation period and then it’s next to impossible to get rid of an employee.
I’ve let people go during the probation period before but this poor girl was different. She was trying so hard but failing. She had a great attitude, always on time. She was just so happy and grateful to be there but could not do the job.
It’s just always so sad to see someone try so hard and fail, like I said it’s not a difficult job but she couldn’t do it and I was 90% sure when I hired her she couldn’t.
It’s never nice to be let go but I could see this poor girls soul leave her body when I did. I felt like I broke her, I could hear her crying as she walked out of the store and down the street even.
I didn’t need to put her through that, I’ve been doing this job for 20 years and never hired someone for looks. I could have spared her that pain and said no during the interview like I would have any other person.
An 83-year-old elderly woman in Malaysia died after cooking and eating a pufferfish that she had bought from Facebook; her husband also ate the fish and is in the ICU.
According to an advisory by the Singapore Food Agency, pufferfishes contain a toxin that’s highly poisonous, without just 0.002 grams of it potent enough to kill an adult human being.
The elderly couple who ate the pufferfish suffered breathing difficulties shortly after and were rushed to the hospital, where the elderly woman died and her husband is now in a coma.
According to Sin Chew Daily, the elderly had placed an order for the pufferfish on Facebook and received it on the morning of 25 March.
The couple’s son said that his late mother Lin Xiu Wan then proceeded to fry two of the fish for lunch with her husband, 84-year-old Huang Chuan Xin, who had eaten about 2/3 of one of the fish at about 2 pm, according to China Press.
Madam Lin then started feeling numbness in her hands, feet and lips about one and a half hours later, as she started shivering and having breathing difficulties.
Mr Huang then started displaying the same symptoms about an hour later.
Their son returned home and noticed that his parents were not feeling well, and he then rushed them to a nearby hospital for help.
His mother was immediately warded in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) but succumbed to the poison and died at 7 pm.
His father suffered a lung infection and is still in the ICU, in stable condition but now in a coma, and doctors have told the family that the toxins have spread to other parts of his body and things are not looking good for him.
The incident was later reported to the Malaysian Ministry of Health, who tested the puffer fish and said that Madam Lin’s death was “food poisoning with neurological manifestation resulting in respiratory failure and irregular heart rate, possibly due to toxin ingestion”.
Her family has since collected her body for the funeral.
The son said that his parents didn’t know that the pufferfish was poisonous and it was their first time eating it, and he added that he never expected such a thing to happen after just one meal.
The pufferfish was later traced back to a fisherman from Mersing, who sold the fish to a Batu Pahat distributor for processing.
The online seller was then found to have sold about 15kg of the pufferfish to 5 customers in three towns on Saturday but thankfully the customers have not eaten the fish yet.
The pufferfishes have since been seized by the authorities.
Singapore Food Agency’s guidelines on pufferfish
Introduction
Pufferfish, also known as ‘fugu’, is a popular delicacy in Japan.
But did you know, pufferfish is an infamously poisonous fish that contains a lethal toxin known as tetrodotoxin (TTX), where as little as 0.002 g is enough to kill an adult human.
In Singapore, there are restaurants with pufferfish on the menu, though there are restrictions in place for food safety. In this article, we will learn more about pufferfish poisoning and how to protect ourselves from it.
What’s is TTX?
TTX is completely colourless and odourless. Cooking also does not destroy this dangerous toxin. When the toxin enters the body, it binds to the nerves, stopping them from working and the person become paralysed, unable to breathe and can suffocate to death. This can happen rapidly within 10 minutes to a few hours depending on the dosage. There is also no antidote.
Anyone who have consumed pufferfish and feel symptoms like tingling, numbness, and any form of paralysis, should seek medical attention immediately.
Why are Pufferfish Poisonous?
Pufferfish are not born poisonous. Pufferfish have evolved to accumulate TTX in their bodies, as a defence mechanism against getting eaten by bigger fish. The bacteria that produce the toxin are eaten by plankton, which are in turn eaten by snails and worms. Pufferfish then eat these snails and worms, gradually absorbing and accumulating the TTX in their bodies. Most of the toxin accumulates in the liver and ovaries, though this depends on the species of the pufferfish.
This means that farmed pufferfish which have never eaten any prey containing TTX are not poisonous. Therefore, the farming of pufferfish in enclosed areas and fed only TTX-free pellets, is becoming increasingly popular.
Ensuring safety of pufferfish in Singapore
In Singapore, SFA permits the import of pufferfish under strict conditions. Currently, only Japan is approved to export pufferfish to Singapore. The pufferfish must have been prepared in SFA-accredited establishments by expert pufferfish chefs which have been certified and licensed by the government of Japan. These chefs have undergone training and examinations to ensure they have the required skills and knowledge to prepare pufferfish safely.
As Singapore, unlike Japan, does not have a pufferfish preparation license system, SFA requires imported pufferfish to be pre-prepared by the licensed chefs. For wild pufferfish which are of a higher risk, only the prepared muscle fillet is allowed for import. For farmed pufferfish, which are TTX-free, the muscles, skin, fins and milt may be imported.
Each import consignment must come with a health certificate from the Japanese authorities, which has detailed information on where the fish were sourced from and prepared. SFA also tests these imported pufferfish for TTX as part of our food surveillance programme.
However, to ensure safety, both the food industry and consumers must play their part
NEVER consume any pufferfish or related fish, like porcupine fish, that have been caught in the wild and prepared by amateurs. Globally, this is the most common reason for TTX poisonings and deaths.
Never consume pufferfish liver and ovaries. These are the organs that accumulate the most TTX.
Ask for farm-raised pufferfish over wild-caught ones, as the farm-raised pufferfish are likely to be toxin-free.
If prepared improperly, pufferfish can be lethal when consumed.
Seek immediate medical attention if you feel any discomfort, tingling or paralysis after consuming pufferfish.
Top tip: The simplest way is to avoid consuming pufferfish entirely.
A baby’s body was found at the foot of an HDB located at Block 166 Hougang Avenue 1 earlier today.
2nd Floor Unit
According to a report by The Straits Times, a young woman who is 18 years old is currently aiding investigations after a body that resembled a foetus in size was discovered at the base of Block 166 Hougang Avenue 1 on the morning of March 29th.
The police took possession of the body, which had been wrapped in a pink towel, when the tent was relocated.
According to Shin Min Daily News, There has been a case of non-natural death at the Hougang HDB flats, where an infant has tragically lost their life. An 18-year-old woman is assisting the police in their investigations. The incident occurred at around 11 am today (29th), at Block 166 Hougang Avenue 1.
When reporters arrived on the scene after receiving the report, the police had already cordoned off a large area. There were several police officers present in front of the unit on the second floor, and a blue tent had been set up downstairs. The investigation, which drew a lot of attention from residents, is ongoing.
The police stated that they received a report of non-natural death at around 11:32 am this morning, indicating that a body had been discovered on the ground floor of the flats. An 18-year-old woman is assisting with the investigation.
TikTok user Yijing (@1800hootnimama) shared a video detailing her experience after missing her last MRT stop on the North-South Line (NSL), resulting in her going through what seemed like an endless series of underground tunnels.
Yi Jing posted her video on TikTok on 28 March detailing her experience, sharing in her caption that she had failed to alight at the last MRT stop.
She then turned the camera to show the empty train void of passengers, revealing to the viewers that she was the only person left in the cabin.
Yi Jing said that at the time, she was on her way home from work and was feeling tired – she had put on her earphones after boarding the train and listened to music without paying heed to her surroundings.
She later noticed that the train had stopped moving and all the other cabins were empty, with no people at all inside.
That was the moment she realised that she had missed her last MRT stop at Marina South Pier and was stranded inside the train cabin.
She noted that there was a last station announcement made inside the MRT but she missed it because she had her earphones in at the time.
However, an MRT staff member from the operations room came to her rescue, speaking to her through the emergency communication system.
He told her that the train would eventually head back to Jurong East, and she then remained in her seat and waited for the train to go back to the first stop.
While she was waiting for the train to move again, Yi Jing phoned her friend and started talking loudly on the phone because she was panicking.
And it was then that the MRT staff then spoke to her through the public announcement system, asking her to calm down and relax, and to keep her voice down.
She then started talking to the announcement as though she was having a casual, normal conversation, asking the staff if she should stay or leave the cabin.
The staff then responded to her via another announcement, asking her to stay and wait.
She eventually made it home after the train went back to Marina South Pier after a while and headed towards Jurong East.
I ate a guy’s lollipop over the weekend not knowing he was married and his wife is threatening me now.
Context
I met a guy while with some friends at a bar. We all went to another place and sparing the details I ate his lollipop. We exchanged phone numbers. This was Friday.
Sunday he texted me, telling me he couldn’t believe I made him release twice and he’d love to get together again. I told him I’m glad he enjoyed it, that I had a lot of fun too, and we’d have to see about getting together again.
Last night, I got a very angry text from a strange number and it was his wife. She told me if I’m going to be a ‘chicken’ and suck random guys ‘kkj’ then I should have the courtesy to make sure that they’re not married.
The thing is – I did talk to him about this. We discussed how I just got out of a long marriage and am divorced and he told me he never got married.
I told her I did ask him, and he wasn’t wearing a ring, and she just kept calling me a ‘chicken’ and I turned off my notifications and went to bed.
This morning, I woke up to 20 messages. They were all from the wife and the contents of the message was just calling me a ‘chicken’ and a homewrecker, how they have kids and I’ve just ruined their poor babies lives.
As far as I’m concerned I did nothing wrong, I went out to a bar, I asked him and he lied to me. Should I call the police?
I don’t think she has any way of knowing where I live, she just has my phone number. I don’t think I ever told him where I work, but I’m not positive. I also don’t have Facebook or anything.
I haven’t replied. I’m considering telling her once again that I did ask him, he’s the one you need to be mad at, and that I’m blocking her number and I’ll tell the police if she contacts me again, but I’m not really sure what to do.
My girlfriend and I had decided to take a weekend trip to Johor Bahru, and we checked into a hotel which we previously booked for us to stay for 2 nights.
She was looking at the hotel’s website and she realised that there was a ‘popular’ spa inside the hotel and I suggested we go there for a massage session.
Brought her there and realised that the spa is not a normal spa and the crowd were all men
It seemed like a good and a luxurious way to relax after a long drive to me, but little did I know that this place wasn’t exactly what it seemed.
When we arrived and was talking to the reception, my girlfriend immediately felt uncomfortable.
While the receptionist were relating the packages and prices to me, the crowd inside which were all men, were giving her ‘chikopek’ looks.
We did not know what was happening at first but after a while when we saw some girls of different nationalities walking out, we started to realise why this spa is only full of men and why it was so ‘popular’.
I had accidentally brought my girlfriend to a spa inside a hotel where men go to ‘relax’ and enjoy services which the women working inside provide for them.
I was so embarrassed of the mistake I made and I grabbed her and left the place. I had failed to realised that this spa was not what it seemed, and that made me feel like a complete fool.
Luckily we did not pay the receptionist yet or we might have some trouble taking the money back.
I should also have noticed the signs when my girlfriend and I approached the counter, the female receptionist gave me an awkward look and a smile with the ‘are you sure you are doing this’ face.
They were probably also holding back from telling me about the type of nature of this spa as even though a lot of spas there operate in this nature, no one blatantly spells out what the business is offering.
Thankfully, my girlfriend did not bring the matter up with me and believed that I made an honest mistake.
The Qing Ming Festival this years falls on the 5th of April, but families have already begun cleaning their deceased loved ones’ tombstones earlier.
One family in Malaysia, however, took things to a drastic turn after accidentally reversing their car into a stranger’s tombstone.
Call it divine intervention or just a stroke of luck, but the tombstone didn’t sustain much damage in the accident and remained intact.
The family members of the deceased, whom the tombstone belonged to, have also chosen not to take further action against the driver who crashed into it.
The incident happened on 26 March at a cemetery in Perak, Malaysia.
Sin Chew Daily reported that the driver was trying to reverse their car at the time, but it then started slipping downhill and eventually hit the gravestone of a tomb below.
A video of the incident was posted online on Facebook, showing the back of the car sustaining damage and being badly dented in the incident.
The damaged car was seen resting stationarily on the hill’s downslope under a tree and on top of the tombstone, with the impact being so severe that the bumper also popped out from the hood of the car.
Contrastingly, the tombstone didn’t sustain much damage in the accident and remained largely intact and in good condition.
The president of the Teluk Intan Hokkien Association, Zhan Sheng Chong, confirmed the tombstone incident at the cemetery.
He shared that following the incident, the family members of the tomb occupant went to check and inspect the tombstone after the crash.
They found not much damage done to the tombstone and ultimately decided not to press further and take further action against the driver.
Zhan also urged other tomb sweepers to practice care when performing Qing Ming tomb sweeping rituals, as well as looking out for the safety of their own and others.
My thoughts are in pieces because housing and family hood is such a big and complex issue. But would like to seek your advice on how you’ve overcome this obstacle in the past.
Context
Coming from someone who graduated during Covid-19, i am affected by the skyrocketed prices and long waiting BTO duration (I’ve bid for 8 times and just finally got my BTO queue number but I’ve to wait till 2030). Of course, younger me would not have foreseen such a huge housing availability issue being a first obstacle on my journey in adulthood.
Options
I am turning 28, and will be 35 by the time I collect my flat. I am now presented with 3 options.
Wait till a few years (maybe 30) when the housing market cools and we have greater savings to get a resale flat? However this would means that I have to sacrifice the BTO selection. But this may bring a whole new set of uncertainties.
Stay with my parent and my sister and invite my partner to stay over. Only shift in after 35. This has its pros for financial capability but it breaks down the norm of having a flat before settling.
Renting a flat after marriage while waiting till 35. However, the rental price currently is insane I might consider paying my parent the rental fee rather than other landlords.
Would like to also seek your views if there are other alternatives to my options.
Concerns
My main concern comes from the long waiting time. 7 years is around 1/10 of our lifespan only to wait for a flat and it really will affect all the family planning. Or maybe I should change my mentality that it is okay not to have a flat to start a family.
Most of my friends are single but I don’t see many of them starting a family at my age as well. It seems like alot of them (around me) a encountering each of their own issues.
Background
My partner is 1 year younger than me. We are both working for the government so i consider our income as average (if this helps).
Personal (More feelings than thoughts)
I can’t believe after getting my BTO queue after so many fails, felt more concerned than happy. I know life can’t be all glamorous and fair but it feels really daunting that all I could do is wait if I am opting for the traditional housing route.
In hindsight I should have started bidding earlier but not many have that foresight. I bidded for a mixture of mature and non mature estate but it took me 8 tries to get a number within queue. I am not sure if this is the norm as well.
Thanks for any inputs and really appreciate your time. Adulthood is tough
Here are what netizens think
I see so many of these posts.. why don’t you buy a resale 3 room? What’s with the idea that you need 5 room right off the bat. Are you gonna pop 3 kids year after year, or are you hoping for that bto lottery?
I got a 3 room resale in Serangoon, and now I have a 3yo kid, and I try to bto nice locations when they appear atm. Heck if I don’t get it in a year or two, I’m upgrading to 5 room across the road once MOP is up so that I can get a maid and a second child. Meanwhile, life is good with low loan repayment (no cash) and my wife and I get a separate room for our work/play. Our CPF has also grown tremendously (above BRS) compared to when we had to rely on grants to get the 3room. Rightsizing applies to your first home too, not just retirees.
Adulting isn’t as tough as it is. Your expectations make it tough. And living without parents is the best thing ever.
If you are both ok, and parents ok then stay with parents. Many parties involved tho and can turn from ok to not ok.
“Easiest” is rent. Only both of you involved (plus landlord). Paying rent is just what it is. It’s not wasting money, but actually reality. Have to give up some comfort to make this work e.g. smaller place, share with friends/other couple/live in landlord or move further away.
It was previously reported that 5 people were arrested at a hotel in Bugis on Monday, where weapons were seized and a woman was also found injured.
Following the incident, a 23-year-old Singaporean woman, Norliana Hazuliana; and an 18-year-old Indonesia, were charged with assault earlier today (29 March).
The 18-year-old was previously charged in court last year for allegedly committing assault in 2021, but he jumped bail and a warrant of arrest was issued against him.
He then allegedly took part in the attack in Bugis while being wanted by the police.
The 18-year-old cannot be named because he was 17 years old during his alleged earlier offences in 2021 under the Children and Young Persons Act.
The 18-year-old and Norliana, along with a 22-year-old Mohammad Ghufran Sinarfadhli, had allegedly used a serrated knife to attack a man on Monday at about 11.30 am, at the Rest Bugis Hotel in Jalan Kubor.
The former two’s cases have been adjourned to 5 April while Ghufran is set to be charged on Thursday (30 March).
A spokesperson for the Singapore Police Force said that their officers arrived at the scene and found blood stains in a hotel room, as well as a 19-year-old injured woman who was found with lacerations on her body.
She was then conveyed to the hospital conscious.
The spokesperson added that the woman was also arrested for voluntarily causing hurt by dangerous means with common intention, as well as suspected drug related offences.
The identities of the people involved in the incident were established by officers from the Central Police Division and the group of 5 were then arrested within 24 hours of a police report being lodged.
The 18-year-old Indonesian boy has also allegedly taken part in an unlawful assembly with 4 other people in an unrelated case, at Block 99C Lorong 2 Toa Payoh on 25 July 2021 at about 2 pm.
He is also being accused of kicking another man on the chest that day.
He is set to return to court on 5 April, along with Norliana Hazuliana.
