I’ll never forget the day my friend begged his father for a Rolex to look more professional.

He had recently graduated and he was on the job hunt, and wanted to make a good impression on potential employers. I could understand his logic—a nice watch could make him seem more reliable, mature, and successful—but I knew it wouldn’t make a difference in the end.

My friend had grown up in a relatively wealthy family, so his dad had plenty of money to spare.

He had always been spoiled, so when he asked his dad for a Rolex, his dad didn’t hesitate to make the purchase. I was skeptical, but I didn’t want to rain on my friend’s parade, so I kept my doubts to myself.

A few weeks later, my friend was still without a job. He had been to dozens of interviews but was never offered a position. He was beginning to get discouraged and was convinced it was because he didn’t look professional enough.

He was determined to buy a Rolex, so he went back to his dad and asked for more money. His dad was obviously spoiled him and buy it for him straight away.

My friend was still convinced that Rolex was the key to success. He went out and purchased the watch and wore it proudly to every interview. Unfortunately, he still wasn’t getting any job offers. He was increasingly frustrated, and I could tell he was blaming the Rolex for his lack of success.

It was then that I decided to speak up. I reminded him that a Rolex or any other Seiko watch doesn’t matter—it’s what you do that counts. People will judge you based on your skills, qualifications, and character, not the watch on your wrist.

I also reminded him that a flashy watch is no substitute for hard work and dedication.

Denial

He still believes that packaging is what counts, after failing to get a job he went to start a retail business but it closed down in less than a year.

But it’s ok, papa money can burn

I had always been a bit of a picky person when it came to dating. I had a list of qualities that I wanted in a potential partner and I was determined to find someone who not only fit my criteria, but also made me happy.

One of my criteria was height.

I had never been particularly tall myself and had always found myself attracted to taller men. So when I met a colleague at work who was a good 15cm taller than me, I felt a spark of attraction.

We began flirting and I started to think that maybe this could be something more. But then I noticed something that put a stop to my optimism: he was shorter than my height requirement.

At first, I thought I could look past it. He was obviously attractive and had a great personality. But my height requirement was firm and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I would be settling if I gave him a chance. So I decided to reject him before things got too serious.

I was disappointed, but I figured it was the right thing to do. I didn’t want to get too attached and then have to break his heart if it didn’t work out. Little did I know, this decision would come back to haunt me.

A few months later, I met a guy who ticked all of my boxes. He was tall, attractive, and had a great personality. I was sure that this was it and I was finally going to meet my match.

But then he said something that made my heart sink. He told me he wasn’t interested because I was “too flat-chested.”

I was devastated. After all, I had rejected the shorter guy because I thought he wouldn’t match my criteria, and here I was getting rejected for something that I couldn’t control.

It was a harsh lesson to learn. I had been so caught up in my own criteria that I hadn’t stopped to think that someone else might have their own. I had judged him solely on his height and now someone had judged me for something I couldn’t control.

It was a harsh reminder that we can’t always control who we’re attracted to, and that trying to fit into someone else’s ideal can be a fruitless endeavor.

In the end, I learned to be more open-minded when it comes to dating. I stopped focusing so much on physical traits and instead looked for qualities in a person that would make them a good partner. I also stopped trying to impose my own criteria on others and instead tried to focus on getting to know them and seeing if there was a connection.

It’s been a few years since that experience, and I’ve been much happier with my dating life since. I’ve had relationships with people of all different heights, and I’ve learned to appreciate the beauty in everyone.

I am not proud of who I used to be or the decisions I have made in the past, but I feel I owe it to the world to tell my story.

I am a typical guy from Singapore and I had the pleasure of meeting a kind, sweet, and beautiful Taiwanese xmm in my travels to Taiwan some time before the pandemic.

She was still schooling, studying in Uni when I met her.

We hit if off and sort of became a ‘couple’

We hit it off right away and I was smitten by her, you know the way these Taiwanese xmm speaks and acts around you, to me it is something that you will never find in Singapore.

We spent a few nights together in Taiwan, and she even came over to Singapore to find me a few months after I left Taiwan and we had a great time together.

I introduced her to some of my friends and even brought her back home to see my family.

One day, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. We were planning a future together and I was the happiest man alive. Little did I know, I was about to make a grave mistake and destroy her life.

Started to cheat on her repeatedly and she found out and went back to Taiwan

I started out by playing her out and cheating on her with other women. I was so caught up in my own desires that I didn’t think of the consequences of my actions. I was selfish and I didn’t care how she felt.

As a result, she started to become distant and depressed. She eventually left me and went back to Taiwan.

I forgot about her after she left until one of my friends who was visiting Taiwan some time after she went back looked for her.

She turned to working as a bar hostess for companionship and money

When the conversation changed to how I was doing, she shared with my friend that when she arrived, she was a broken woman.

She had lost all hope and had no idea what to do with her life. She had already quit school when she decided to come to Singapore to find me, and it was something that I did not know.

She was alone and had no friends or family to turn to.

Out of desperation, she turned to the only thing that could provide her with a sense of companionship and love: she became a bar hostess.

She has been entertaining men at bars, nightclubs, and other places of leisure. While doing this, she is paid by the bar owners and sometimes even showered with tips and gifts from patrons of these bars.

Often, times this can lead to more intimate encounters. I can only imagine what she went through during this time in her life.

I feel immense guilt and regret for what I have done to her. I destroyed her life and her dreams. I wish I could take it all back, but it’s too late.

All I can do now is apologise in my heart and hope that she will find happiness again.

My colleague is useless, and I think it’s time to talk about it. I am in a team of five people, and we have been working together for a couple of months now.

The other four of us are hardworking and always willing to help each other out, but my colleague is a different story.

Refuses to follow instructions and then ends up making a lot of mistakes

He is always the one to make mistakes, and he never listens to instructions. Every time we try to explain something to him, he just doesn’t seem to get it.

We have to keep repeating ourselves over and over again, and it’s starting to take a toll on the rest of us. We’re all getting frustrated, and morale is slowly decreasing.

At first, we thought it was just a matter of not understanding the instructions, but soon we realized that it was more than that. He was actually sabotaging the team’s efforts.

He would do things that were completely counterproductive, like making decisions without consulting anyone else or going against the group’s plan.

It’s getting to the point where we are all exhausted. We are constantly having to fix his mistakes, which is taking up a lot of our time and energy. We have all had enough and it’s time to speak up.

We all sat down and had a meeting to try and figure out what to do. We discussed the issue and came to a consensus that we would have to talk to him about it.

Talked to him about it but he still chose to turn a deaf ear

But when we went to approach him, he completely ignored us and refused to listen.

After several attempts, it was clear that he had no intention of listening to us. We all felt defeated and helpless. We had tried to help him, but he just didn’t want it.

It’s been a few months since then, and nothing has changed. He is still making the same mistakes and sabotaging our efforts.

We are all getting more and more frustrated, and morale is at an all-time low. We have all had enough and don’t know what to do.

We have tried to help him, but he just doesn’t want it. We are all exhausted and demoralized, and it’s starting to affect our work.

We don’t know what to do anymore.

I was absolutely stunned when I found out that my boyfriend of two years was actually married and had a wife for five years.

Found out after his wife got my number and Whatsapped me

It started when I received a message on WhatsApp from a woman who identified herself as his wife.

She sent me a series of screenshots showing conversations between the two of them and told me that they had been together for five years.

I was in complete shock. How could someone who was supposed to love me do this to me? I had been with him for two years, and I had no idea he was married. I couldn’t believe that he had been lying to me the whole time.

I was so angry and hurt. I felt betrayed and lied to. I wanted to confront him and make him see what he had done to me, but I also knew that I needed to remain calm. After all, this woman was his wife. I had to put her feelings first, even if it meant I didn’t get the answers I wanted.

I decided to reach out to her and try to talk things out. We had a long conversation and I was able to get a better understanding of their relationship.

She told me that they had been together since they were in uni and had gotten married shortly after. She also revealed that he had been cheating on her with other women and that she had been trying to get a divorce for a while now.

The whole situation was heartbreaking. I felt so sorry for her and all the pain she must have been through. I also felt sorry for myself, for having been fooled into thinking he was single.

I eventually ended things with me and learnt the hard way that you can’t always trust the people you love.

My (26F) boyfriend (27M) rarely pays for things. When I bring it up he accuses me of wanting to control his finances.

Just as the title says, seldom does my boyfriend offer to pay for things. 9 times out of 10 I’ll pay for our dinner dates, activities, big furniture purchases, etc.

I’m in a commission based career where I receive large sums of pay at a time, whereas he has a steady predictable income.

What initiated our most recent disagreement was following a week of dates and activities – all of which I paid for – he asked if he could go to the golf sim (an indoor golf course) with his buddy.

I told him he doesn’t need my permission to go but that it hurts my feelings that he doesn’t contribute to our expenses, yet always finds money to pay for his own things.

For deeper context, he’s gone to the golf sim twice this week alone. I don’t golf but I offered to pay for 2 of his hours earlier in the week, and accompanied him to another hour later in this week. I also paid for both of us to go to an auto-show (a hobby he enjoys) and for the lunch beforehand.

Edit: I really appreciate all the advice from people that have dealt with something similar in their own relationships. I’m not in a headspace to be reading comments from people exclaiming that I’m an “idiot” or that my standards “bar is in hell.”

Moving forward, I’m not going to financially contribute to anything over-and-above, and if that doesn’t help and the relationship dissolves, then so be it.

Edit 2: I approached him with the concerns and explained that moving forward I can’t be expending myself in the ways I have been. We do live together so we’re going to create a monthly budget.

On dates we’ll go Dutch. I told him I’m not paying for anything over-and-above and he apologized for gaslighting me last night.

He offered to pay me for the recent expenses and I’m going to take him up on it. Thanks all. This is my last shot at having an equitable relationship and working toward rebuilding my self-esteem. If it doesn’t work out, I’m at peace with the fact that I did my best!

I (31M) took my terminally ill friend’s virginity before she passed

Today is her one year anniversary since she passed and I can’t stop thinking about her. She was my friend for 6 years.

Her cancer came back aggressively, she told us she doesn’t want to go through chemo again so she planned to enjoy the time she had left.

Before that she was also kind of a homebody who was only close to a small group of friends which was us. One night when we were all drinking she admitted to me she was still a virgin but she doesn’t want to lose it to just any stranger. At least somebody she trusts before she goes.

That person was me. She didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to, she asked but was willing to drop it and pretend it never happened if I decided no.

We decided to make it extra special. Got a nice hotel room, got those fake candles all over the room to make it more “romantic.”

Was the first time I ever had sex with someone I loved but wasn’t in love with if that makes sense. It was still a very intense experience. Not in a bad way.

There was still lots of emotions. Even though she seemed so happy she got to lose her virginity to someone she trusts part of me wonders if I did take advantage.

If I was wrong for saying yes. It’s just hard because I miss her so much. But I’m still glad at least I got to give her something before she left.

Edit: I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your beautiful words and support. Today has been such a hard day but you have all made me feel lighter

Times when you think things are just ridiculously priced in SG?

I had a cavity in one of my teeth after having braces and wanted to get it filled. I went to the dentist, and he quoted $150. Since it wasn’t urgent and my tooth wasn’t decaying, I told myself that I’ll get it done the next time I go to the dentist ($150 just made my heart ache).

Last year I went to India and I saw a nice dental clinic (not those shady ones). I went in, asked for a filling and they got it done.

The price BLEW my mind. After conversion, $10. T E N.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how crazy the price difference was. I thought the Indian dentist MUST have done a shitty job for how cheap it was.

Went for my braces appointment recently in sg and I asked my orthodontist to check if the filling was ok and he said it was.

Went to Malaysia recently and got gel nails done for 25 ringgit. It’ll be easily $70-90 here. Why such a huge discrepancy when I see absolutely no difference in the service provided?

Any times in sg you thought “This is daylight robbery.”?

Netizens’ comments

1. Same reason why services and COL of living is cheaper in Zimbabwe vs here. It’s not a fair comparison.
2. Land cost and other overheads in sg is very high. You can’t expect same pricing for the same good or service in a developing economy/ country. That said, some business owners may use this as a reason to overcharge.
   My own take is that many of them have their hands tied because they don’t own the land or premises on which they run their business. Landlords, both private and corporate, are squeezing as much as they can from society and this is a main driver of prices.
3. dental care in SG is just crazy. far better to just cross the border to do any dental work. often get my scaling and polishing done in JB instead

How do I (23F) get my boyfriend (28M) to be rougher with me in bed?

I want to start off by saying I have communicated with my boyfriend on countless occasions telling him how rough I like things in bed (or out of bed).

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now, and he is okay in bed..but what really gets me off is when someone is extremely rough with me.

He’s more gentle with me during and prefers being passionate over being rough and dirty in bed

I like to be used, played with, slapped, and would even go far enough to say i like bondage-esque intimacy (well really to be tied up and what not).

I’ve voiced to him what I like, told him about a few of my fantasies and even asked about his fantasies.

But when we have intercourse he’s rarely rough with me, and when he is it’s not to the extent that i’ve voiced that i like, it’s always the same almost vanilla passionate PIV that he likes…

It’s pretty boring honestly, i try to get him going by talking dirty while we’re fucking but it doesn’t really work.

we also don’t get intimate enough as is (yes i’ve communicated this concern with him as well) so on top of not having enough intercourse and feeling frustrated i feel like my needs/wants aren’t being met.

What else can i do/say to get him to be rougher with me?