Landlord’s aggressive cat keeps attacking me, and I’m told to just take it.

I came to Singapore a few months ago, and moved in to a HDB flat with a landlord, her daughter that owns 2 cats. I love cats but never owned one. I was also promised that the cats would be friendly. When they were introducing me to the cats, despite me being gentle and calm, one of the cats scratched my leg. We tried again another day, but he bit my leg, and further injured the landlord. From that day on, we followed a schedule where the cat was to be kept in the cage when I’m home, and out when I’m at work. There were instances where the cat was accidentally left out and tried to attack me, growling at me. And there were also times when the cat would scratch at me door, howl really loudly, when i opened the door, it would try to attack again.

I know that it thinks I’m intruding on his space, and he has territorial aggression. So I started eating meals beside him while he remained in the cage, and fed him treats as well. All the while, the landlord was trying to defend herself saying “if I knew the cat would respond like this, i wouldn’t have taken you in”, and “I was trying to give it a chance”, while fully telling me a history of its bad behaviour with other strangers.

Last week, we booked a cat therapist to come and advise us on what to do. To my horror, she tells me that they have to let it out while im eating my dinner, have it attack me and I cannot react to it. I have to let it get used to me not being a threat. We tried it the first time yesterday, and now I’m dreading all dinners. It was horrible. The cat bit me on my arm and left two deep marks that kept bleeding last night.

More context about the room. It’s a very nice room, spacious and has a queen bed. It is near to my workplace as well with a less than 20 minute commute. And moving out now means to dive into the high rental prices to seek for a decent place. I am very comfortable where I’m at currently, but I am at a loss. How is everyone willing to have me as a tenant, that was forced to be in this situation to compromise in this manner. On one hand, I do understand that it isn’t right to have my safety at risk like that. But on another, I know that this room is the best I can get with this price. I just want to know whether it’s reasonable for me to continue staying on until my lease ends. Will the cat eventually change his behaviour or should i just give up and move out?

Tldr: Moved into HDB with an aggressive cat, and it has to stay in cage when I’m at home. Cat will attack any chance it gets. Landlord calls in a cat therapist that asks us to let the cat roam while I’m having dinner, and not react if it attacks me. It left deep bite marks on my arm, and now I’m at a loss what to do. Love the room, location and space, just unsure whether my efforts of taking more bite marks or scars will even have an effect on it.

I love my boyfriend but he is very bad in bed.. Consumed with thoughts of cheating.

Me (34F) and my boyfriend (35m) have a great relationship and connection, I love him and love spending time with him however, he sucks in bed.

I have a very very high libido, and his is okay but it just feels like we aren’t compatible. He’s a big guy, not well endowed, and plainly put just doesn’t “hit the right spot” for me. Ever.

He goes down on me but isn’t good at that and doesn’t really listen to my advice. Even when he fingers me he doesn’t listen and isn’t good at it.

I’ve tried to gently express the issue, but he seems to think that he is great and just because I come, that it’s great for me too.

Lately I have been consumed with thoughts of cheating, I never have cheated and don’t plan to, but I don’t know what to do.

I don’t want to lose him because personality wise we are perfect.

Netizens’ comments

1. Naw you need to be direct with him and not hint or be subtle. Tell him straight that he is bad, but you want to figure out how to make it better.
   The only way for this to happen is he needs to allow you to show him how to make it better for both of you. I have been there before and it can cause tension in the relationship and if he is a great guy, he will understand and work with you.
   Never stay with someone if they are only minimally meeting your wants and needs. It causes things to go down hill
2. Don’t cheat, state the issue plainly of how you feel unsatisfied and what he could be doing to improve that (maybe not the well endowed part, he can’t change that so it would do nothing but be hurtful) and stress that he needs to listen. Make sure he is aware it is a serious discussion and important to you. Be aware it may take some time to adjust.
   But if things don’t improve and you still feel an urge to cheat then just break up. If he is an amazing person you don’t want to lose then he doesn’t deserve that. Beyond him it’s disrespectful to yourself. Better then to break up and realize that love and personality aren’t the only things you require for a successful relationship.

My friend(who I love) told me that she wishes she could find a guy like me and I couldn’t be happier.

I made it clear early in our friendship that I had feelings for her, she couldn’t reciprocate but We still remained friends. Mind you I have still loved this girl since then.

with my actions I have truly tried to give her every ounce of love that I can to her. We stopped talking for a while but tonight she was struggling and I felt like she needed me to be there.

seven hours of her drinking and she told me that she was sorry that she will never love me, but she wishes that she could find a guy like me.

she said that she believed I would give her the world and that I could love her the way she needed to be loved and that I could treat her better than any man she had been with in the past.

She told me that every woman prays to god for a guy like me( I know it’s exaggeration but I laughed at this one) and that she really didn’t understand why she didn’t want me.

Of course I told her it’s ok, I am not entitled to anything because I help her, but She has been through so much and has been hurt so many times.

I know she was drunk but hearing her say all of that made me feel like all my efforts to show her love was worth it.

Netizens’ comments

1. Bro don’t even dare I promise you it won’t end well. Be her friend if you want but don’t ever and I mean ever get into a relationship with her.
2. If OP makes her feel this way, if he took 10% of that energy and put it into himself OR SOMEONE ELSE COUGH he’d probably change another woman’s life and find what hes not getting at the same time.

Who could, you know, reciprocate? And he’d not have to wait years to feel vindicated in investing all that love and energy into someone to be single and watch them date around and be hurt by it?

Idk man I love my friends, but he needs to let this go- it’s not healthy for either of you. You because of the aforementioned, and her because it’s not conducive to a stable relationship to have people who are THAT invested proximal to her relationships, on be leaning on you in the capacity she does if you WERE in a healthy relationship. (Or at least looking for one)

Like you sound like a great guy, and I’m sure you have changed her life for the better, but this is turning staler than a microwaved oatmeal cookie and it’s not beneficial in ways that satisfy either of you.

You won’t ever get what you’re looking for if you keep thinking she’s the only one who can give that to you.

As a Malaysian guy born and raised in Johor Bahru, I can tell you firsthand that Singaporeans do love to complain about how long it takes to cross the causeway during peak hours, but at the same time, they still choose to come to Johor Bahru on holidays and peak periods.

It’s almost as if they are contradicting themselves.

Always see them complaining about the jam and then come and join the queue to make it worse

I’ve been living in Johor Bahru for my entire life and I’ve seen the increase in traffic over the years. During peak hours and holidays, the causeway is always packed with cars from Singapore.

It can take anywhere from an hour to even five to six hours just to cross the causeway.

I understand why Singaporeans would complain about the jam, it really is a hassle. But at the same time, I think it’s a little bit hypocritical for them to complain and then still choose to come over here.

I think part of the reason why Singaporeans come over to Johor Bahru is because know that in Johor Bahru it is much cheaper than Singapore if you are earning the SGD.

They also choose to come over because of the close proximity.

I just wish they would plan their trips a little better. Instead of coming over during peak hours, they should try to come during off-peak hours to avoid the long queues and traffic jams. I also wish they would plan their trips ahead of time so they’re not stuck in traffic.

This would be so much better than them complaining about the jam but still come to make it more jam.

I understand why Singaporeans come to Johor Bahru and I don’t think it’s wrong for them to do so. But at the same time, I think it’s a little hypocritical for them to complain about the jam and then still choose to come over here.