Leading a double life.

I’m going to get bashed for this post…but here goes.

Got wooed by one of my bosses 20 years older than me

Been in this relationship since 2016 or millennials call it Situationship these days. We met at work, he’s one of the shareholders and I’m just a OL.

He was in his early 40s and me in my late 20s. He’s “unhappily” married (as they always claimed), I was unhappily about to get married because family/peer pressured(Sin’s culture of get married bcos of BTO).

I wasn’t keen in meeting someone new or the hassle of breaking off and the drama involved so I decided to just go ahead with whatever makes everyone happy.

I was professional for the first 3 years, he indirectly courted me throughout and really took good care of me.

He brought me around the world for conferences, we took business on company expenses, stayed at only the best, we really travelled the world and nothing happened and that was ALL his plan knowing I will immediately reject if he came on too strong.

He’s very smart may I add(that itself is so charming). 3 years of taking good care of me, showing me what a charming person he was and it didn’t take too long for me to accepted his advances.

Made up for all my husband’s shortcomings

Things that my now husband neglected he made up all for it. I enjoyed the romance, the chase and eventually I really enjoyed him as a person. Funny, smart, tall and speaks eloquently.

I left the company when covid happened as I wanted to study, he sponsored my studies and even gave me $5000 a month.

He even gave me his car because he didn’t want me to take grab or Public transport. I’ll be stupid to not take it.

Since covid happened till now I’m happily taking his money without guilt even though we hardly meet anymore too.

My feelings faded and I wanted to try and be right to my husband

Tbh my feelings faded, now I just want to end things off as I’m so tired of hiding and deleting texts, I’m actually tired of being the bit-h/mistress whatever names u may want to call me.

To be honest, I want to lead a decent life with my husband and try to love him again, I care for him but I won’t say I do love him.

Yes I’m going to miss the free money and even the car but I have to start somewhere. It’s honestly not e money for me as I’m able to get a job that pays the same or more but again, free money I like it.

My boss was not happy because he ‘invested’ a lot on me

I tried to break things off tactfully but drama ensues, he was mad he “invested” so much in me(I mean we both are married I don’t see where this is heading).

I saw the ugly side of him, I feel bad of course but things eventually have to end. It has not ended yet but I told him let’s cool down, things got too heated, he wanted to meet I avoided etc.

Im just venting here and I don’t know what advice I need.

Maybe an advise to fellow girls out there, don’t be pressured because your friends are getting their BTO, are talking about marriage plans and you feel like you are not young too and need to follow suit.

If he’s not the one don’t rush into it. Many of my friends now are about to get a divorce or divorced now.

Don’t settle just because and definitely is not right to be a mistress.

Troubled by ex-colleague

I had a colleague (B) whom I got to know in 2017, I have also met and spoken with his wife in his presence. We met in the arcade.

B reminded me of my late Grandpa

This colleague, B, resembled my late grandpa in many ways.. and I was drawn to him because of this reason. I saw my grandpa in him.

Missing my grandpa a lot, it was inevitable that I tried to talk to B whenever I had the chance to. Why? Just because he looked at me just like how my grandpa would look at me, and when he smiled at me, it was as if my grandpa was smiling at me again..

My other colleague back then, lets just call him H, knew that I was working closely with B on an assignment (H’s a friend of B and his wife, I knew about their relation because we had common friends whom told me about it).

For some reason, H didn’t like that I’m close with B

H wasn’t very happy about it (that me & B working on the same assignment), for what reason I really dunno.. and H suggested that I work with H instead.

However, after knowing more about H’s interest (which wasn’t quite aligned with mine), I kindly declined his suggestions to work together but we remained acquaintances.

Now, I dunno for what reason, H is showing unhappiness towards me and told my other friends things which he imagined about.

He even did something probably without B’s wife knowing it, and is he even doing the right thing? I really don’t know.

Please tell me how to stop H from throwing tantrum at things which he shouldn’t be worried about in the first place.

And please do not create further rumors about B and me, my bf will not like it.

How do you differentiate if someone is really interested in you or just a friendly gesture?

Background

I knew this guy from work but matched with him on a dating app a few years back.

He was really good-looking and some of my colleagues had a crush on him.

We chatted a bit but I was ghosted eventually which I didn’t bother too much about because (you know!) it’s a dating app. People ghost people.

I was used to it even though I was really hoping that our conversation would last.

Fast forward a few years later, we reconnected back recently via instagram. Though chats, I knew he had switched his career path and I had moved to a new city to work.

We were in different cities but not so far off by flight. We chatted a bit more and decided to meet up in his city as I had planned a visit to his city that weekend.

We met and exchanged numbers after that and continue to chat to this very day. He does send some flirty messages sometimes.

He will take his time to reply me

That’s where my dilemma starts (or it’s not). As we were in different cities and even though we chat with each other every day, he was very very slow in replies.

The replies can even come in only the very next day or 2 days later. He would still apologize every single time for late replies as he said he was drown in work.

I can understand this as he just kick started his new path and I wasn’t in the position to expect him to reply to me instantly or even reply to me at all. I have my own priorities too.

I double texted sometimes but I wouldn’t want to triple text or quadruple text even though he said it’s ok to do so because he’s a workaholic.

Nevertheless, he would still make the effort to reply to me even when the replies are very slow. But, I was also contemplating on how busy can a man be until he cannot take the time to reply to messages for 5 minutes.

The reason of me having this kind of dilemma is because I’ve met a guy, whom I really like, who is like that before.

He would still try to look for me everyday but in the end, he told me it’s just a friendly gesture, not because he took a liking for me.

Since then, I try to avoid overthinking this kind of thing even though they were potential candidates to me.

I’d probably had the answer on the back of my mind but I still don’t know if I should wait around or let others come into my life.

Out of all my potential candidates, this guy is ticking all the boxes on my list but I really don’t know if he’s interested in me or just a friendly gesture to pass time.

What should I do?

At the beginning of our 5-year relationship, we had s- almost everyday and it just went downhill as time passed.

The intimacy suddenly stopped

Reasons given were tired, lost interest in s- over time etc. I did everything I could (within her boundaries) to spice up our s- life such as purchasing s- toys but to no avail.

I thought maybe on my birthday it would be different. But no, she pushed me away as well. It really made me feel unwanted.

We had a honest talk after and she said she just doesn’t enjoy s- as much as I do. I also asked if she’s not satisfied with the “quality” of our s- life and she said it’s not the case too.

She just doesn’t want it anymore.

For the record, both of us are really loyal and faithful people so no one cheated. At least for me, I can never cheat. As long as I’m in a relationship, I’m a one-person person.

Anyway, this happened during the three-year mark and we continued a relationship with no s- for another two.

Broke up because to me, a relationship is not considered one without s-

In the end, we broke up. Physical intimacy is important to me. I loved her but we no longer gel on this point. We can never, based on the conversation we had.

It has been another two years since we broke up and neither one of us is seeing someone else right now. I tried but it didn’t work out.

You might be wondering why break up then? If you take away the s- part, we are really just like friends.

Call me selfish if you wish, I do not want to deprive myself of a potential relationship should I meet someone in the future.

World of married Netflix drama IRL

I was with this guy for about 5 years now. I only truly known him till today how is he as a person.

Background of our relationship

A little background within the time we are together, he was the sweetest the most loving and honestly some friends where even jealous how he could and can be so sweet.

Sweetest to the point that while eating, he will notice that you have hair falling and he will brush and tuck your hair back.

Always treated me as his princess that he love so much. I am not a person that trust or had anyone so long in a relationship before. He made me feel loved when I’m with him.

Knows how to talk, but its all sweet nothings

However, he doesn’t stick true to his words and always give empty promises. He is someone who eloquent and know how to speaks. I guessed, you can say he smoked me into it and I gullibly believe him words – or to say lies.

He wasn’t a person that do what he says and he will always blame someone and everything else except himself. This is one trait that I really hate and have looked pass.

Slowly as days goes by, more things started to surfaced out. He used to smoke cigarettes before and after getting to know me, he knew that I don’t like when a guy smoke and he gradually reduced and kick it.

However there are devices like vapes, and he goes around convincing me yet again that is he using vape as a substitute in turn to try and quit. Which I agreed and know about it.

So now that I realised, he been saying that but I have not seen him vape in front of me at all. I was so stupid and have not question or asked why you didn’t vape in front of me even when I allowed.

So this is where things comes in play, there was once that I caught him with a vape device causally in his pocket and I questioned him.

He confidently answered and told me that it wasn’t his and pushed the blame to his best friend (who also vape). He cooked up a damn good story saying that the vape is his friend and that he was helping his friend to keep it.

So how the vape was with him is because of some cheap juice that they bought which he is trying to help him friend stop taking it. And that why he took it away!

I had doubts but I still give him chances and believe it. Tucked this at the back of my mind.

Long story short, I know finally know the truth now and how much efforts he actually takes to cook up, fabricate lies in order to give me the appearance that he was not vaping at all.

I was in shocked and the truth that I have learnt about. His friends told me the truth and that he was vaping all these 5 years and has no intention to quit at all.

He even got his friends to fake some evidence to send to me so that I’ll believe it. He has also asked all of his friends to keep mum about this to me.

if you even watch the show, I was literally the main lead and exactly how I felt

To top it all, this wasn’t all that he has done. I have given him chances to come clean about it and yet he didn’t took the chance and continued to lie to me.

The very fact that he has no intention to tell me the truth was shocking and I cannot believe that I was with someone who can just lie so confidently and have so much faith in it.

It was so scary and something I can never understand why was I so dumb.

What’s more? He even done illegal stuffs like taking hemp drugs and I even have evidence to prove it about the effects that he and his best friend were feeling it.

GUESS WHAT, he still can continue to deny the fact that he has done all this. Upon confrontation with his best friend – his best friend has already admit it, but yet HE STILL CONTINUE TO LIE. He can even say that it was not the product that whatever his best friend was taking. It was something else.

Can you even believe that is happening? For me now, I was shocked and speechless and was in no words that I was with someone like this. To think that I was about to have a future with him in the coming years..

This one essay won’t be enough to fill it alll, but in short. He was this kind of person.

I really like to know if anyone has faced anything like this before? Are they even considered human? Or am I just stupid?

As a former employee of a small business that closed its doors due to my boss’s rigid and inflexible thinking, I can tell you firsthand the difficulties of working with a boss who doesn’t take suggestions from others. It can be a very frustrating and disheartening experience.

Boss was too rigid and inflexible with his thinking

When I first started working for my former boss, he made it clear that he was the one calling the shots. He was not open to any kind of input or advice from his employees. We were expected to simply do as we were told without question.

This made it difficult to give any kind of constructive feedback on the company’s operations, or to suggest ways that we could improve or streamline processes.

My boss’s inflexibility and refusal to entertain any kind of change in his thinking eventually led to the company’s downfall. He was unwilling to listen to anyone else’s advice and refused to take any kind of risks.

He was content with the status quo, and refused to make any kind of adjustments that could potentially benefit the company.

The lack of willingness to explore new ideas or take risks eventually led to a loss of customers and revenue. People began to take their business elsewhere, as the company was not offering anything new or innovative.

My boss’s inability to think outside of the box and take on new challenges ultimately resulted in the company’s demise.

My experience working for a rigid and inflexible boss has taught me a great deal about the importance of being open to new ideas and suggestions from others.

As a manager, it is essential to be open-minded and willing to listen to the opinions of your employees. Without their input, a company cannot grow and evolve.

It is also important to be willing to take risks and explore new ideas. Without risk, there can be no reward. If a business owner is unwilling to take risks and try new things, the company will remain stagnant.

Finally, it is important to understand that change is inevitable. If a business refuses to change and adapt to the changing market, it will likely fail.

It is essential for managers to remain open to new ideas and suggestions from their employees if they want their companies to continue to thrive.