Why are most Singaporeans cynical and bitter?
23M Singaporean aspiring artist here.
For the majority of my schooling days, I’ve always been somewhat of a social outcast in terms of my passion and ambitions, with exception of a few teachers and friends who have been very encouraging and supportive.
I initially thought it might be the fact that kids can be harsh and narrow-minded due to the lack of exposure.
But as it turns out, I’ve come to realise that this problem is not limited to students but also adults. I find that with unconventional endeavours, Singaporeans generally (in my experience) tend to be really cynical, like they try to talk me out of it or they end up humblebragging about their own paths and fitting in to the norm.
And even when I make progress and achieve little successes, people here tend to be quite critical of how things can be, instead of seeing what got me here in the first place and what potentially lies ahead.
I don’t know why exactly, maybe it’s the herd mentality or the overly-competitive nature. I don’t understand why most Singaporeans find it a need to have opinions on something they have no idea or prior experience things with, and how they intentionally/unintentionally discourage people with the things they say rather than to be truly happy for people enjoying what they do and making progress, whether mainstream or not.
Why is it so difficult for people here to be happy for others and to embrace individualism?
Or worse, invalidate their work and to get them to prove that it’s worthy?
Netizens’ comments
Big city problems. We are raised in an environment where your entire worth as a human being in measured in material wealth and social status. As a guy growing up, no matter be it school, NS, work, it all revolves to a few things people almost immediately size you up with: Do you have a car? Do you have a girlfriend/wife? Do you have active social life? Do you have your own house? How much are you earning a month?
Rarely do people instead focus on what you like, what you find fun in doing. Because the only thing that matters to them, is how to size you up in relation to themselves so that they can find a way to prove they are ‘better’ than you.
We are in a competitive society that also values face a lot, so people have a need to justify themselves and present as a worthwhile person to others. Obviously, they do it the wrong way, since they think worth is determined in things like salary etc. “If you do not think of hustling your way to the top you must lack ambition and are a boring individual/ lazy.” is a very common phrase.
Individualism doesn’t matter, its all about rank and standing in their social circles. It is not just a Singapore thing. Go to any major city where the economy is developed enough to enable competitive workforces. I’m sure you have heard countless stories of Korea’s discrimination and bullying if you don’t present yourself as the upper class. Japan, China etc.. Its all the same. When we are put in large social circles in a stressful city environment, our societies develop an emphasis on pushing others down so you stand out more.
In order to cultivate a society that values individualism and appreciation of the arts, it takes a lot of effort. You need to change the societal stigmas and mindset. Culture, etc.
When people invalidate your work and life choices, its almost always because they feel that you work far less hard than them in their opinion, and they need to justify their own efforts. They also do not like to acknowledge that their worldview is not the best view.
I’m 26, just fresh grad from uni and drawing 3.4k monthly, and the amount of scrutiny and laughs from my peers who earn 4-6k asking me why I lack to ambition to topple people over and take higher paying salaries can be irritating. But you do you. Don’t be disheartened. There are still plenty of genuine people out there, its just that the loud ones are always the a-holes.
