Gaming boyfriend unattractive

Not sure if it’s just me but I find my boyfriend’s obsession with gaming very childish and unattractive. He’s already approaching his 40s.

I have nothing against gaming but hey, like there are so many other fun things to do and learn. It’s just very unattractive when he spends almost all his free time sitting in front of the computer and games like an addict.

I am really trying my best to see past this but it is just REALLY UNATTRACTIVE at his age how much time he spends gaming. Help!

Here are what netizens think:

• Well, I game myself almost every night from after work till midnight, sometimes more on weekend and I’m way past 30 going 40s (and also happily married). I game since my teens. Does he have a stable job? Does he pay his own bills? Does he still go out with you for dinner and date on both your free time? If yes, then there is perfectly nothing wrong. It just a hobby and downtime for us. Everyone has different hobbies. Similar to how some ladies watch K-drama “obsessively” every night till 2am (I find K drama boring as well). My wife has other hobby different from me (dance, which she does without me because I find it only “mildly ok”). Unless he is unemployed and does nothing else but game. Then his life priority is questionable. Otherwise, I find you questionable.

• Gaming is awesome. What’s wrong with it? As long as you can keep up with other life obligations, it’s one of the cheapest and least dangerous hobbies around. One also gets to do all the things in game that aren’t so popular outside. Eg. I’m happily playing Rimworld / Warcrime Simulator and that way no one needs to be turned into human leather hats in real life.

• Gaming is better than he find habits of finding ladies outside without knowing. I rather he game all day at least u still got me time to do things for our ownself

• Eh, what’s your interest? If you have other interest then have a clean break with him before moving on to finding someone else?

• You RATHER HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC THAT BEATS U?

How do u find peace with a rs that ended years ago

My first relationship ended more than 10 years ago. It had ended quite badly but we are now each with our separate partners married/engaged.

Keep having recurring dreams

But I keep having dreams of him and us. Always not together (like back in a relationship) but in a weird kinda situation – like his partner is away, we are interacting together, just the 2 of us…

I don’t have these dreams every night but frequent enough for me to remember them and often waking up with a dull ache in my heart.

Obviously, we are not in contact anymore but I can see his socials and know bits of how he’s doing.

Would contacting/ meeting up with him be able to break off these chain of dreams? I had a bf after him before my husband, but that break-up didn’t traumatize me as much.

These dreams are kinda sweet but are nightmares when I wake up. They keep bothering me.

Here are what netizens think

• Unfriend and block him. Move on to a happier life doing the things that you love while working towards financial freedom. Good luck.
• You should contact him to see if he wants to hook up.
• Unfriend and block him. The sooner he’s invisible to you, the easier it is to move on
• Normal to have funny dream of past memories , nothing to fuss about.
• Why are you keep stalking on his social media? Why didn’t you block him and move on? How to get peace if you sub-consciously didn’t want to let him go? You have funny/fantasies dreams because you ask for it, period!
• If ur partner has this same situation, what would u like him to do? Then u hav ur ans.

I think it goes without saying that as a young woman in this day and age, I’m a huge fan of Korean Hotties. I love their style, their charisma, and their good looks.

I follow them on social media, watch their shows, and just generally enjoy the whole Korean Hotties experience.

However, it seems like my boyfriend doesn’t share the same enthusiasm for my interests. When I told him that I was following a few Korean hunks on Instagram, he told me that I was being “unreasonable” and that I should stop because it was making him uncomfortable.

I was pretty frustrated by his reaction, so I decided to confront him about it. I asked him why it was okay for me to follow hot guys but he wasn’t allowed to follow hot girls.

His response? “Because I’m your boyfriend and I don’t want you to feel disrespected.”

At first, I was really angry. I felt like he was trying to control me and dictate what I could and couldn’t do. But then I started to think about it from his perspective. Maybe he was worried that I’d be tempted to cheat or that he’d feel like he wasn’t good enough for me if I was looking at other guys all the time.

So, I decided to compromise. I told him that I would stop following all the Korean hunks if he was willing to stop following all the hot girls. He agreed and we both agreed to be more mindful of how the other person felt when it came to social media.

I think it was a good lesson for both of us. We both learned that it’s important to be respectful and considerate of each other’s feelings. We also learned that communication is key in any relationship. I’m glad we were able to reach an agreement and I’m looking forward to enjoying more Korean Hotties in my free time.

 It all started when I graduated from one of the top universities in the country with a Master’s degree in my chosen field.

All my life I had dreamt of getting a degree, and I was determined to make something of myself. With my new qualification, I was sure that I could make a difference in the world and find a job that paid well and gave me the satisfaction I craved.

Little did I know that I was in for a rude shock

After graduating, I decided to apply for jobs and start my career. I sent out many applications to various companies, but I received no response from any of them. After some months of not hearing back from anyone, I decided to reach out to the companies directly.

I was shocked to find out that the reason why I was not getting any job offers was that I was overqualified.

The companies I was applying to said that they could not afford to hire me with my level of qualification. They told me that I was overqualified for the jobs they had and that I would be too expensive for them to employ. This was a huge disappointment for me.

I had put in so much effort to get my Master’s degree, and now it seemed like it was all for nothing. I decided to take a break and try to figure out what to do next. It was during this period that I stumbled upon the world of ride-hailing.

I saw that drivers with GoJek and Grab were earning quite a bit of money, and I decided to give it a try.

At first, I was hesitant and uncertain. I had spent so much time and effort in getting my degree, and now I was going to drive a cab? But I was desperate and needed to make some money, so I decided to give it a shot.

After a few weeks of driving, I started to make some decent money.

I was surprised to find out how well I was doing and continued on.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was in control of my own destiny. I could make as much or as little money as I wanted, and I could work whenever I wanted. I was also meeting new people and learning about different cultures and lifestyles.

It has been almost a year since I started driving Grab, and I am still going strong. Although I still dream of getting a job in my field, I am no longer desperate. I have gained so much knowledge and experience by driving Grab.

As I grabbed my keys and headed out the door, I couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous.

I was about to meet my girlfriend’s mother for the first time and I had to admit, I was a bit intimidated. I had heard so many good things about her, and it had gotten me thinking.

I drove up to her house and knocked on the door. When she opened it, I was stunned. She was even more beautiful in person than I had imagined.

I had started to develop a bit of a crush on her, and I couldn’t help but think that I wanted to “try” something.

We exchanged pleasantries and I followed her into the living room. We started chatting about mundane things and I couldn’t help but feel a bit aroused. I was trying to be respectful and not let my thoughts wander, but I just couldn’t help myself.

After a few minutes, my girlfriend walked into the living room and announced that dinner was ready. We all got up and went into the dining room. I couldn’t help but feel my heart pounding as I watched her mother walk in front of me. I started to think about what it would be like to kiss her, to touch her. I started to get lost in my thoughts and I didn’t even realize that my girlfriend had been watching me.

When dinner was over, my girlfriend’s mother thanked me for coming and said she had to get going. I said goodbye and watched as she walked away. I felt a wave of guilt wash over me as I realized that I had been caught staring at her.

I drove back home, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn’t even realized my girlfriend had noticed. I knew that she would be angry if she ever found out what had been going through my head.

The next day, I was having lunch with a friend when my girlfriend called. She asked if I had enjoyed dinner the night before, and I could tell from her voice that something was wrong. I told her that I had, but she still seemed distant. Finally, she asked me if I had been staring at her mother.

I was shocked, but I knew I had to tell her the truth. I told her that I had been and that I was sorry. She was understandably upset, but she told me that she wasn’t mad and that she just wanted to make sure I knew that her mother was off-limits.

I apologized again, and we talked for a while longer before she eventually hung up. I felt terrible, but I was also relieved that she hadn’t been completely mad at me. I knew that it would take a long time before she would trust me again, but I was determined to prove to her that I would never do anything like that again.

It’s been a few weeks since the incident and things are slowly returning to normal. I still feel guilty, but I’m also grateful that she was understanding. I know I need to be more careful in the future and ensure I’m not tempted to “try” anything.

The last thing I want is to make the same mistake again.

Today, I felt my heart properly break for the first time. The course I’m studying has quite a heavy workload so I haven’t been going home for the past three weeks. My father came to visit me today.

He is rarely ever free and today is one of those days that he could make time.

My father is close to 70 years old and he is still not retired.

He works as a cleaner at a country club during the day and holds another cleaning job at the community centre near my house at night. For some reason, he had half a day off today and he said he wanted to tour my hall.

He came over and after showing him my room, we decided to get dinner at the Kopitiam at Kent Ridge MRT.

I know my father doesn’t have money so I offered to pay for his dinner. Guess what? The silly man ordered the cheapest thing he could find – fishball noodles. There was a lady (very well dressed, looks to be at least middle-class) infront of us in the queue and she left her chilli on the counter then walked away somewhere. My father didn’t see it and thought that that was an extra sauce so he just took it and put in on our tray. When the lady returned, she said very sarcastically that someone took her chilli while glancing up and down at my father.

He immediately apologised and explained to her that we were not aware and that she could have her chilli back but she replied “你动过的我才不要。肮脏死”, which loosely translates into “I don’t want what you’ve touched. You’re dirty to death”.

This was when I realised that my father was still in his uniform. I almost screamed at this lady seeing as she was clearly younger than my father and was being rude.

However, my father held me back and simply apologised again. He said that he’s used to it and it suddenly hit me that this is what he does all on a day to day basis. He apologises and lets people walk over him. He is invisible. I always knew my dad worked hard and is always at the mercy of others but seeing it with my own two eyes was an entirely different experience. I couldn’t even hold back my emotions and start tearing uncontrollably while we were eating. I had to lie that I was tearing because I got chilli in my eye but the truth is I was heartbroken by how my dad has to swallow his pride all the time.

I can’t wait for the day when I can tell him to stop working and stop apologising for everything. All my dad ever did was love and dote on me but everyone else has just been so awful to him.

Dear rich people, what did we ever do wrong to you?

How do I proceed …

Lengthy read, please bear with me…

Background:

>only child, parents had me in their early 40s

>Mom has always been verbally and physically tormenting, she left when I was 10-11 years old as she wanted to go overseas and only came back when I was in my 20s

>Mom went overseas for 10+ years , she NEVER sent any support at all to me or my Dad, despite demanding my Dad to pay a lot of money for her to go overseas every time and she would only quickly call maybe 1x every 2-3 weeks and if she does come home it will only be for approx 1-2 months every 2-3 years and she’s out with “friends” on a daily basis

>Mom have her boyfriend/s wherein she spends $$$, all her overseas earnings and other sources (relatives)

>I started working full time when I was 21 to help my Dad with the living expenses, thus didn’t get to graduate

>I left to work overseas to better support my parents since mid 20s, as my Dad retired and finances were very tight

>Dad passed away prematurely about 10 years ago due to Mom’s shady actions to try to get $$$

>No formal investigation was done for my Dad’s passing as my Mom’s side relatives told me to just let it go since she’s quite old and old people have such years more to live plus she is still my mother and I only have one parent left

Current:

>Mom’s is playing the victim and her narrative to everyone is that I have abandoned her and never spoke or visit or send support especially since my Dad passing which is untrue

>Relatives/Friends/Acquaintances would always confront me and scold me on how I “abandoned” my mother

>I would show evidences such as bank remittances, pictures, call logs and etc. which will make people quiet down their anger but never apologize to me on how they treated me based on my mother’s false narratives

>It’s tiring on my part to explain and defend myself against my own mother’s lies

>Mom demands for me to apply for credit cards and get her the supplementary cards for her usage when my salary doesn’t even qualify

>Mom also pushing for me to have a child… according to her so that in case something happens to me my child can take care of her

>Mom still has boyfriend/s until now who she spends my hard earned money on

>Unable to even consider marriage as Mom will surely wreck my marriage , my relationship with my in laws and extort money from them too and exploit them for her means

How I Feel:

> I feel so depressed, sometimes I wonder why God took my Dad instead of the other one and where’s the justice for his death

> I feel regret and should’ve pushed for my Dad’s death investigation and let the law punish my Mom

> I feel my mother just bore me as just to be her retirement plan and to secure $$$ from my Dad

> I feel so drained in all aspects and having the need to deal with Mom’s demands, drama, verbal abuse and antics

> As the only child, I have made life insurance arrangements so if anything happens to me, my mother will have well enough funds to live off for her remaining years but she is unaware of these life insurances as I very much fear for my life.

> I’m already in my 40s, I do my best to do my duties and obligations as an only child but I pray to be free of her, how many more years of my life should I suffer , when can I finally start living my own life….is it even possible?

> My heart feels very heavy ….its been 10+years now ….how does one try to deal with one tormenting toxic selfish parent especially when you know she caused your own father’s untimely death…

How do I proceed …

I am in my early 30s. Went for a career switch programme 5 years ago.

Graduated 2 years later. Got married, got a house, gave birth to a lovable daughter. Wanted to further my studies for a degree a year after my diploma but I got pregnant instead.

So waited until she was 2(now), so basically, my cert is 3 years old already.

I told my husband I wanted to study again. He was hesitant at first but he agreed. I told him I was accepted in NUS and my classes are in the evening, studying part time while working full time. After a month of school, he expressed that he cannot handle the stress of being with our daughter alone.

He needs me around and he’d rather I stopped schooling until she’s older. I have 3 years of school. Only went through 1 freaking semester.

I told him I can’t quit, I just started and it’s not as if I have not been helping out. During the days I have zoom classes, I will do it while my daughter is on my lap. The only days he has to handle her alone is when I am on campus and it’s 3 hours of school. Husband is easily stressed as a person. He has anxiety attacks whenever I am not around, super introvert person while I am a total opposite.

I am upset that he is not fully on board with me schooling again. He told me if we do not have a daughter, he will be happy for me but now, he can’t and I can’t be mad at him for expressing himself cause that is what he feels and he wants to share it with me.

I am conflicted ???

Here are what netizens think:

• Let’s imagine a woman said – “I have diagnosed anxiety disorder, I work 9-5, when I come home, I’m left with working, household maintenance and taking care of the baby alone because my husband decided he was going for evening classes. I can’t handle it & I feel alone in this”. Would you say mother up? Woman up? Double standards. They both are hurting, they need help. Yes, her dream is to get her NUS cert. Doesn’t he have things he wants too? Both their feelings are valid. It might take creative solutions but I believe this is workable, OP. Find a compromise with your husband, but don’t give in either. Hang in there.

• Helpers, Neighbours, family or friends? U are not alone. Dun force hubby if he can’t do it, adding strain to your marriage. I assume it’s nite classes since u didn’t mention. U can get him to pick her up later if using nanny so tat they still have some short bonding time together but dun come with so much stress and maybe danger. Cheaper too, since it’s just for a few hours for a few days every week.

• Totally feel you. Same experience and similar character spouse with outgoinig personality wife. Hi five!

• I studied part time 3 times over the course of my career. The last 2 was done with either one or two kids. In between, my wife changed jobs which requires her to travel a couple of times, each time 2 weeks or more. So we both have our share of ‘alone time’ with babies.