My (29M) GF (27F) of 3 years cheated on me with my brother (27M). My family is siding with them.

Despite my desire to shame them publicly, I will use alternate names. Also english is not my first language so sorry for any error.

I (29M) have a younger brother, Gabriel (27M). Until a couple of months ago, I would have described him as a people person, someone who make up for his lack of skills with his great eloquence and ability to read people. Now I would describe him as a devil with a silver tongue.

While growing up, I have sheltered him from any kind of problem. The bigger kids picked on him? I made them stop. He struggled in math? I spent hours helping him understand how to solve every exercise.

My parents are good people, they were strict with me but helped whenever I was in need, as long as they saw I was trying. Despite that, it was clear that Gabriel was always the favorite one.

This favoritism toward him only grew stronger once I got older. I decided to study computer engineering. My parents are old fashioned and don’t understand what a computer engineer’s job is. To them, I play video games from dawn to dusk. ( their words, not mine). I tried multiple times to explain to them what I do but it’s like talking to a wall.

My brother studied business. Once he graduated, he started searching for a job. The company I was ( and still am) working for was hiring people so I told him, he got the job and now he works in the sales department.

3 years ago I started dating Chelsea (27F). We dated for 3 years and after a couple of months I presented her my whole family. She and my brother got along but I never thought anything about it.

Fast forward to 1 year ago. My department was short on staff. There was a recession, people were let go and that put even more work on my and my colleagues’ shoulders. For 2 months, more or less, I worked from 7 AM to 7PM, then crawled home and basically fell asleep instantly. Even during the weekends, I was too tired to do anything special. This caused me and Chelsea to not be able to meet each other as much as usual ( normally we would go out at least twice a week. During those 2 months, we went out 1 a week or once every 2 weeks).

After those 2 months ended, things went back to normal, or so I thought. I noticed that Chelsea was distant even while we were together and her behavior was weird. She became quite possessive with her phone, she would suddenly cancel our dates and other things like that.

Anyway, fast forward to 3 months ago and I found out Chelsea had been cheating on me with my brother ( yeah, I looked through her phone, it’s a violation of her privacy, I know. ).

I think I have never been so angry in my whole life. I kicked her out, went to my brother’s house and confronted him. He laughed in my face. This man, my own brother, stole my GF after everything I did for him and even laughed in my face.

Not reacting violently in that moment was the biggest test of self-restraint I ever had.

I told him I had no brother from that moment onward and to act accordingly.

I got out, called our parents and told them what happened. They seemed to understand and said they would talk to Gabriel.

The next few months I was a mess emotionally so I tried focusing on my job.

I recently went to a family dinner and to my surprise, both Gabriel and Chelsea were there. To sum it up ( this post is already too long, sorry about that), my family decided to side with Gabriel, because apparently he and Chelsea ” found their true love in each other and, while they hurt me, I should try to forgive them and accept it.”. I told them exactly what I said to Gabriel: from now, act as if I don’t exist.

They have been storming my phone with calls ever since.

Most of my friends are having kids, and it freaks me out

I’m at an age where a lot of the people I know are starting to have kids or trying to. The majority of my close friends already have children or are trying to and I’m kind of the odd one out, but I’m also not ready – nor is my partner.

I have a good life, I really love my job, the fact I can just go do stuff and don’t feel unfulfilled in any way but I’m struggling a lot with all the changes around me.

I feel like I don’t know what to talk about anymore and get frustrated. I love my friend’s kids, don’t get me wrong!

I also just kind of miss before and get so upset that the pandemic took a lot of time away from just being able to do dumb stuff with friends.

The fact that we’re all around 30 is also just part of it, I know. It also means I’m getting a lot of questions from family and strangers about when I’ll have kids.

I’m starting to feel like maybe I don’t want them, but I really don’t know especially due to health issues.

It’s a part of life and I’m well aware, I’m also working through some stuff in therapy about my anxiety around change, my health etc, I’m also waiting for an appointment where we’re pretty sure I’m going to get an Autism diagnosis.

I guess, just like it says on the tin I wanted to get it off my chest and feel less alone.

Thanks for reading!

My boyfriend booked the cheapest hotel for our first anniversary.

We’ve both been working so hard and we agreed we’d just go for a staycation for our little weekend getaway.

He forgot Valentine’s Day (I didn’t – I got him flowers and tickets to a concert) and he got me a cheese platter (?!?!) for Christmas and… guh, I love him, but I don’t think I can have a life of next-to-no romantic gestures.

This place has a literal 2.8/5.0 rating and is in absultely the middle of nowhere – reviews tend towards furniture and not working applicances. It looks like the kinda dodgy place you take your affairs to.

In my head, this was like a last test… I didn’t offer any input, he said he’d take care of everything. He makes six-figures a year (twice my salary), has paid off his home, and spent $140 dollars on an anniversary hotel where I’m gonna have to bring my own sheets and plug-in my laptop to watch Netflix.

I am heartbroken, but I think this is gonna be the end of things. I f-ing hope he sees this and realises how cheap he’s made me feel.

Netizens’ comments

• Its not the price its the thought behind it. You shouldn’t have to spend ridiculous amounts to show you love someone
  • (OP) Thank you, you’re right. And he picked the mouldy, poorly-rated one the one time he had to pay for something outright (we’re 50:50 on all other experiences/dates).
• I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling disappointed with the plans your boyfriend made for your anniversary. While it’s understandable to feel let down by the hotel choice, it’s important to communicate with him about your expectations and how you’re feeling.
  Instead of assuming that this is the end of your relationship, have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend. Explain your feelings and discuss what you both can do to make the weekend special, even if the hotel isn’t ideal.
  It’s possible that your boyfriend may not have realized the significance of your anniversary or your expectations for the weekend. Communication is key in any relationship, and it’s important to express your thoughts and feelings in a constructive way.
  As for the hotel, if you’re uncomfortable with the accommodations, it’s okay to suggest finding a different place to stay. However, keep in mind that the most important thing is spending time together and celebrating your relationship. A fancy hotel doesn’t necessarily equate to a meaningful anniversary celebration.
  • (OP) I’m sorry. People are right, it does sound petty – but I keep on waiting for him to give some indication that he WANTS to look after me emotionally. It’s only a year, and I already feel like it’s going into bangmaid territory and this feels like another confirmation of it. Just doing the bare minimum in every case.

I (27F) can’t wait forever for my boyfriend (32m)

I (27f) have been dating my boyfriend (32m) for almost two years. And in that two years we have never had PIV intercourse.

I give him oral, and he just uses his hands and has only given me oral once. Basically the issue is that every time he’s about to put it in, he goes soft. But doesn’t have an issue with me blowing him.

I’ve tried to talk to him about it a few times and he said all the “it’s not you I promise, I love you and am attracted to you” and that this all started to become an issue after he and his ex-wife got a divorce (she cheated on him).

He’s mentioned doing some research on things he can do to work on it but hasn’t actually tried to do anything about it.

He says it’s anxiety, stress, afraid to get me pregnant, etc. He’s also told me that it’s not a priority to him to work on it and he doesn’t believe in taking any medicine, and is too prideful to seek professional help.

Basically, He’s content with the status of our current physical relationship and I’m not. I don’t pressure him, and I’ve been incredibly patient and understanding but I don’t know how much longer I can wait.

intercourse isn’t the MOST important part of a relationship to me, but it is important. It’s the intimacy that I want. but now I’m just starting to feel like even after 4 years of being divorced from his ex-wife, he still has unresolved feelings towards her, and I’m never going to be enough.

He shows me love and makes me feel loved in other ways, I don’t doubt that he loves me, but deep down I can’t help but feel like if his ex wife wanted to come back into his life, this wouldn’t be an issue for him.

I don’t know how much longer I can wait and I feel awful for considering ending things simply because we don’t get intimate. Any advice?

Singapore Taxi Crisis

I’m an international student (m17) living in singapore. I just came on here to vent my frustrations so apologies if my grammar is bad.

It’s been about 5 months and Ive had enough. Every other morning I wake up at 5am to do sports practice at school at 6am.

Unfortunately the first MRT doesn’t reach my nearest station early enough so I have to take taxi.

I for the past 5 or so months taxi prices have just skyrocketed with my journey now costing 2-3 times more than it used to.

and the worst part? I still can’t get one. i feel like everytime i try to get a taxi i’m stuck waiting on my phone for 30 mins and even if i do get one , it’s 10+ minutes away.

how is this possible? i don’t understand how it has gotten so much worse. if someone knows why taxis have been so difficult lately please, enlighten me or share alternative taxi apps.

Netizens’ comments

1. Reach school at 6am?u need to sleep more
2. Because nobody wants to drive taxis/private hire at that hour but many people want a ride at that hour. Taxi/Private hire drivers are not bus drivers, they have the freedom to decide when to start and stop work. In the end it’s just supply and demand not favouring you.
3. I don’t get it. If you are international student, why not shift nearer to your school. Paying 300-500 more stay nearer to your school will save you 10 to 20 taxi ride. If you are doing this for the past 5 months. You are probably saving the taxi fare. Also I don’t get why you need to be in school at 6am. I don’t think there’s any school open that early. Even my friend who worked as teacher, reached school around 7. Maybe give yourself a break and don’t need to be thatbearly bird. Unless of course you can afford the ride.
4. .1) You should have picked your residential place wisely. Location has always been something very crucial in a city environment. It is not a Singapore problem. Do consider a nearer location.
   .2) Singapore is a city and a country both at the same time, hence, it is impossible to have a 24/7 non-stop flow of people. Somewhere, sometime, people have to rest. 5am is very much a timing where a really low proportion of people awake.
   .3) Most Grab drivers start(day drivers) or end shift(night drivers) at this golden hour of 6-7am. You are caught in the transitionary period.
   Anyhow, 6am call time seems ridiculous. I think that really is the issue and there are definitely ways around it without having to cab or actually be training this early.

still a virgin at 25…. is it too late for me?

never been with a girl, kissed a girl, or hooked up with a girl. I’m just about 26 and feels like I missed out on being active in bed in my youth.

Can’t stop feeling sorry for myself about it. Never had the confidence to go and put myself out there because I always felt I had a lot of things against me, like my short height 1.65m and babyface that makes me still look 16.

Plus, some girls called me ugly before……idk but maybe just feels like I’m not meant to experience love and all that in this life…..

can I turn it around? And turn it around fast? This might be my last chance to I’m thinking…

Netizens’ comments

1. Something that helped me out a lot is realizing that I always went for girls out of my league. At one point, I thought a (less conventionally attractive) girl had a crush on me, so I gave it a chance even though there was less of a spark. Eventually I lost my virginity to her, and I gotta say: the feeling of being desired and validated is amazing even if the person isn’t super hot.
   Another thing to keep in mind is that if you feel lonely, there’s a lot of people who can relate. Dating apps have a skewed gender ratio—2 or 3 guys for every girl—so a lot of guys repeatedly face rejection and have to deal with loneliness. The best thing you can do is put in consistent effort, and at some point you’ll get lucky.
2. Definitely never too late! I know plenty of late bloomers and they’re doing just fine. You just have to find the right person.
   And there are plenty of us women who don’t care about height whatsoever. Don’t worry about that too much. Just try to make connections with the people around you and eventually you’ll meet someone.
3. Its ok nothing worry to about, socialise with girls ,You will find one work the system stay healthy, be confident
4. I’m short too and used to have a baby face. I’m 29 now. As you get older your face will mature, inevitably every person will look older at some point in their life and less “youthful.” Facial hair makes a difference, a lot. Guys that have facial hair look older vs without, grow facial hair. Even if you can’t get a full beard and stache its still better. Also try exercising more. Often people that are “babyfaced” have a lot of face fat. The less face fat you have, the more defined your facial features will be like your jaw, chin, cheeks, etc… I remember when I was 26 and I did look a lot younger than I do now so trust me it’ll happen in time. i’m approaching my 30s and I actually wish I look younger than I do now.

What to do when your facial salon insist that you top up, if not they can’t serve you anymore?

Bought a 10 session package for $500 about 2 years ago. I used up 5 sessions.

During my last session, they told me my package will be obsolete because they will upgrade their treatment machine soon.

I have to top up $30 x 5 sessions making it a total of $150 so that they can continue my treatments using the upgraded machine. I told them I will need to think about it and I walked out.

What can I do?

Netizens’ comments

• ask for money back then since they refusing to perform on the terms they took ur money to begin with
• Report to CASE
• This is why you don’t buy “packages”. Once they have the money, you as a consumer has no power.
• Oh wow, it is bad that the salon is doing this. If there is no expiry date for your package, I don’t see why they would not honor the terms at signing – after all, they chose to set those terms as a business.
  The whole marketing behind ‘locking in a package’ at one shot is so that you don’t have to pay for increases in future pricing, so this seems to put you as a consumer in a lose – lost situation.
• Ask them for a refund (they will probably refuse), then back down to converting the remaining 5 sessions ($50 x 5 = $250) into 3 sessions on the new machine ($80 x 3 = $240). If they don’t agree, tell them that you are already being very reasonable, otherwise you will report to CASE.
• This is like paying for 10 years coe but at the 9th year you have to top up to use the remaining one year or else you cannot drive your car
• Sounds like a scam, can be reported to CASE as someone else mentioned in another comment.
  Another scammy tactic is when you buy a package and have trouble booking slots. Because they have oversold and now you can never spend the amount due to scheduling.
• What are the terms of the contract between you and the salon? Was there an expiry date for the package? If there is none, then the salon is obliged to perform.

Grab driver flexed his financial muscles at me.

So I was going home from work late yesterday and had to call a grab as I missed the last train.

I got into the car and after the driver confirmed my name, the very next thing he asked was “Guess how much I earned today after working 14 hours on a Sun?”

I was tired and a little sad because Grab was charging me 50% more than usual, but I tried to play nice. At this point, I didn’t know if he wanted to complain he made too little, or brag that he made a lot. But I assumed that people were generally humble and just wanted to find common ground that Money No Enough.

So I told him I had no idea what Grab drivers made, but he insisted I hazard a guess. Ok sure, I blindly said $300. He looked offended and told me $800+, after all incentives, his own car, minus petrol etc. Sorry la, I dunno. But I humoured him and said Wow good good. Then he said like that every month can earn 5 figures.

So I said it must be tiring to drive like that. But he told me he only drives when he’s free, because he’s got a business outside as well.

Then he told me about where he stays, his pri school which was near my home. Then he told me he Pri 5 already got girlfriend. Wah, want to flex his Buaya muscles also.

Then he proceeded to tell me he graduated from NTU and got a MBA from New York.

So basically, smart, works hard, entrepreneurial, got money, and good with ladies. Anyone here wants an intro?

So exhausting la. More exhausting than my work. Does he want validation from me?

Btw I’m a guy.

I found my fathers confession letter 9 years after his death. I am in tears.

My father passed away 9 years ago due to a combination of health complications. I didn’t keep much of his things after I cleaned out his apartment.

The only thing I took was a fire-safe lockbox. I was afraid to open it because of what I might find for my dads apartment was filled with a lot of things that I wasn’t expecting.

Yesterday while organizing my closet I couldn’t stop staring at the box and for the first time I opened it. At the top were a bunch of expired credit cards and bank statements.

At the very bottom was a Manila envelope. I opened it up and it contained a picture of a toddler that looked like me but wasn’t and a two page letter in his handwriting.

The first page was more or less information about his life that I already knew. The second page is what got me.

The boy in the picture was my older brother that I never knew about. In the letter he confessed to me that he and the mother had a baby boy.

My older brother and his mother according to the letter died a year after that picture was taken in a car accident.

He never mentally recovered or truly grieved. He met my mom a year and a half after my brother’s death and they got married within the next year.

I understand now why my dad had such a hard time showing me affection for so long and why he fell into the bad habits he had helped shorten his life.

He was a man in pain not only from his traumatic childhood (that’s a whole other post) but losing your first born son. I haven’t cried this much in years it brought out the suppressed tears and pain I have felt for losing him years ago.

How I wished he had told me all of this while he was living and how I could’ve helped if possible. Despite it all I love my dad, I miss him, and I finally have some clarity and closure why he was the way he was. I just wanted to get this off my chest.