Should I resign?

I am working at this new job (less than a year) where I have very nice colleagues and the work load is manageable.

But I can’t stand working with my female boss who finds fault in everything that I do.

I have been working very hard and doing everything I can diligently but she fails to look at all the things I’ve done right and always picks on me for mistakes that I didn’t do. She doesn’t give clear instructions and blame me when things go wrong. She will tell me to do one thing and when I do it, she will scold me for doing it. There were times where she had flared out at me infront of my colleagues in office which was very embarrassing for something that went wrong and it wasn’t my fault.

My colleagues are all aware that my boss is the problem here and they have faced similar issues with her previously. I’m afraid to even ask her questions because she belittles me and makes it sound as if I’m stupid. I’m really at a breaking point now.

My husband wants me to remain in this job as recession might hit next year and I may face difficulties finding another job. We are also planning to have a baby next year and I’m afraid to join another company and conceive within the same year as I will definitely get judged by my new colleagues and boss.

But if I remain here and conceive, my mental health will be at stake. What should I do?

Here are what netizens think:

• Just apply for other jobs while staying in this one. If you find a company that wants to hire you, you can then decide whether you want to stay or leave your current job

• Before you think or talk about baby, why don’t you have a open talk with your boss. Show her your maturity that you are willing to open up all the unhappiness you face with her and both of you should decide whether you should stay or move on. In this world no one is indispensable to anyone and if she think you are not match up to her benchmark then instead of making your own life difficult you should consider to resign and move on. Likewise as a company boss cannot even listen or manage to work things out with her subordinates then this company not worth for you to stay on. It’s your choice

• you can ask your colleagues what make them stay on? then you decide for yourself whether you want to do the same to stay put. build good relations with your colleagues, get all the jobs answers from them. else, you may start looking for another job now before you tender our resignation

I never had a good relationship with my dad. Growing up, it seemed like nothing I did or said was ever good enough for him. He was always hard on me and I tried my best to make him proud, but I was never successful.

No matter how hard I tried, I always failed in his eyes and he made sure I knew it. He was distant, cold, and unsupportive. I felt like I had no one to turn to and I was lost and alone.

Hugged and cried together when dad apologised

I had grown so used to his disapproval and criticism that when he finally apologized and expressed how much he loved me, I was completely taken aback. I had never heard him say anything positive about me before, so it felt like a huge shock.

My emotions got the best of me and I started sobbing. Tears of joy, pain, and relief streamed down my face as I felt every emotion I had been bottling up for so long come pouring out.

My dad wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. We both just cried together for what felt like an eternity. I had never felt so close to him before, and it was the most beautiful moment of my life.

Never really healed from there

But unfortunately, that moment was fleeting. Our relationship never fully recovered and we were never able to get back to where we once were.

We both tried our best to make it work, but it just wasn’t meant to be.

I look back on that moment fondly, but it also serves as a reminder of what could have been. I will always cherish the memory of my dad and I crying in each other’s arms, but it’s a reminder of the fact that we were never able to fully reconcile our relationship.

I will always regret that.

Stuck in this awkful relationship

I’m sorry, I just needed a place to rant.

For context, I am a 33 years old M. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. Over the years, her sense of entitlement seems to have grown and her independence has dipped. For the past three years, I have been paying for everything. Meals (regardless of price range), dates (movie tickets, entrance fees and whatnot), her Grab/Taxi to work, gifts (I’ve bought high ticket items such as phones), and even school fees.

It is easy to say that I have been paying for 80% of the entire time that we are together. All the while, she berates me for being useless, bad at my job, and bad at my life. I’ve given up all of my hobbies because I am unable to finance them since I am spending almost every dollar I have on her.

Even if money wasn’t the issue, I don’t even have the time for myself and my hobbies. I have also stopped meeting all of my friends just because I can’t find the time to. Even if I am out with my friends, she would never stop calling or texting me.

She expects every single moment of my time to be spent with her. She constantly screens my phone as she forbids me to have any contact with females, even for work related stuff. We are constantly arguing over the smallest things just because she doesn’t that she is wrong in any sense. She thinks that everyone is against her but she can’t seem to see how she is treating people around her as well.

I really want to leave the relationship but it has been so difficult for me to end it. I don’t know what I should do. I am drinking daily just to get some peace. I’ve went for counselling but that didn’t help much too. I had been suicidal as well. I just want to start my life anew.

Here are what netizens think:

• why difficult to end? Does she lock or tie you up? No right? You just tell her you both are incompatible and her ATM run dry. After saying that don’t entertain her call or just go to your mobile company to change your phone number. Simple right? Get some peace for yourself before you start another relationship.

• The 2 of you bring out the worst in each other. There’s no way for you to get better unless both of you end this toxic relationship. The fact that you feel trapped when you aren’t even married to her shows that you really need to learn about your own boundaries. Drinking every day just harms your body. Go for a run or cycle or swim instead. Sweat your heart out. It benefits not only your mind but also your body.

• If you are a man, just tell her upfront that you are broke. She will run away from you, faster than the fastest automotive ever build.

It was our anniversary. I had been with my girlfriend for a year, and I wanted to make it special for her. I had been planning for weeks, and I wanted to surprise her with a special dinner.

I had found a restaurant that served chicken rice, her favorite dish, and I booked a table for us.

Cried after she ordered the chicken rice

I arrived at the restaurant before her and waited anxiously for her to arrive. She looked amazing in her dress and her hair was pulled back in a cute style.

I greeted her with a hug and we sat down at the table.

The waiter came to take our order, and my girlfriend ordered the usual chicken rice. I was so pleased with myself. I had remembered her favorite dish and was able to surprise her with it.

But then, something strange happened. My girlfriend suddenly began to cry.

I was taken aback and asked her what was wrong. She told me that she had been hoping for something more special than chicken rice for our anniversary dinner.

She had been expecting me to take her out for a nice dinner, not just a meal of her favorite dish.

Thought she loved it thats why I did it

I had thought that chicken rice would be a nice surprise, but it had ended up upsetting her instead. I tried to console her and reassure her that I had only wanted to make our anniversary special, but it was no use.

She was still upset and asked me to just eat by myself.

I felt dejected and disappointed. I had put so much thought and effort into planning our anniversary, and it had all gone to waste.

I had wanted to make her happy, but instead, I had only caused her more pain. I ate my meal alone, while my girlfriend watched, her face an expression of sadness and disappointment.

When I finished, I paid the bill and we left the restaurant in silence. We walked back to my car and drove home without saying a word.

When we arrived, we went our separate ways and I went to bed alone.

I matched this guy. He didn’t text much but he wanted to have dinner. I suppose he could be the type of prefers to talk in person so I agreed to meet.

Besides, overall vibes was alright so I decided to give it a shot.

Completely not what he seemed to be

Firstly, he was late. No explanation. I decided to continue the date as I was hungry.

As we spoke to each other, I noticed his hair wasn’t real. I’m fine with that too as we were just talking. He spoke louder than normal so I tried to take it that he’s just nervous.

We waited for over 20 minutes after ordering our food. He started to get upset and spoke to the waitress rudely and demanded to see the manager.

I’m not sure if he’s trying to show me that he’s a bad ass for being so considerate of my hunger or he’s just being mean because he can.

Started to be uncomfortable with his antics

By then I was starting to feel uncomfortable. It was dinner hour so I expected a little delay and I didn’t mind using the time to chit chat but he was insistent in showing that he’s unhappy even when I told him I’m ok to wait.

He made such a huge fuss I feel so embarrassed the entire duration while we were in the restaurant.

I thought we agreed to go dutch but he insisted to pay for dinner. Saying I can treat him the next time. Erm no?

After that night I rejected meeting him again. He went all out angry on me and started to throw insults.

I blocked him. What a nightmare.

Why am I so sway?

Feeling burn out

Just joined this company for 2 months, but felt like everything is very messy – no structure/ workflow and workload is crazily heavy.

I’m a manager managing 8 accounts with an assistant (not local) in e-commerce platform. Joined during the most busy period with lots of campaigns to prepare. On top of that, my boss has been bothering me to check on small things here and there which I honestly don’t have the time deal with.

I’ve been OT-ing till 7-8pm and all he said is because I’m not delegating/ prioritising well enough. I understand it’s probably bc he’s not sure about the processes – how much work I’ve to handle and thinks that everything is easy. It’s also hard for me explain cause he doesn’t really listen.

Not sure if I should talk to him and continue staying abit longer after this busy period to see how things go or just leave now?

I’m 35 years old and really like the environment and my colleagues, just not how my boss manage the work.

Here are what netizens think:

• During your yearly appraisal, sit down and talk to him about the issues that you are facing. He may not know how you feel. And then, if he doesn’t want to listen, resign, bang the table and shout, “This Is Sparta!”

• How’s your pay? If it’s extremely good…

• Apparently the tactic when your boss says your work is easy is to throw your hands up and tell them: you don’t know how to do it. Ask them for their approach, ask them questions, and they will rapidly understand the actual complexity of the work. Use quantitative examples to justify the real effort necessary, for instance by highlighting how long the task took previously

• A lot of heart disease due to work stress, be careful. It is just not worth it. If you are gone, they can find another easily

I have seen many post about comparing earning ability here.

Here is my story. I am in my mid 30s. I graduated from NUS and became a property agent a decade ago. I make about $150k to $360k a year.

I remember there was one month where I close $50k and was invited to the award ceremony. I remember feeling very down during the ceremony as most of the salesperson earn above $100k that month. I felt like I am the lowest earner there.

Fast forward these few years, every month are there 100, 200 plus salesperson making 6 figures a month. The company even had to expand the away categeory to differentiate people who make $100k, $250k, $500k and even $1m a MONTH.

Last year I clocked about $280k a year and I am satisfied. But my team mate earned over $4m. His income tax alone is almost $1m. Whats my $280k as compared to him?

Not forgeting my $280k doesnt even give me a name on the producer chart.

Here, most agent drive, if you drive a japanese car, and another agent drive a european or sportscar, you will feel damn malu.

Here, everyone owns 1 condo each, husband 1, wife 1. The company management team mostly stays in landed property.

How to compare? If I compare everyday I will die of misery. Better suck it up, ignore the competition and focus on family.

Here are what netizens think:

• Omggg wow, I have read this continously and repeatedly for 2 hours now and it changed my life. I am very successful person now . I got 6 Olympic gold medals, 6 Grammy awards, 8 Oscar. And after all this i am planning to land on Mars.

• Don’t Luan lai la. You are talking about top few % of agents. Most of them eat grass one

• All I got from this post is that you are performing below average from your peers and you should buck up

I pride myself as an successful entrepreneur and have built some small businesses over the past decade. I have been able to generate a healthy income and invest in my future.

I have been able to achieve this success by taking risks and making calculated decisions.

However, I had something to hide

Recently, a mistake which I had made earlier in the business came to haunt me. It is a mistake that I now regret.

I had been looking for ways to increase my profits and had the idea of cheating my business partners out of some of their money.

I thought it was a great idea, because I could make a lot of money without anyone knowing about it.

But I was wrong.

Got discovered

My business partners eventually found out about what I had done and were outraged. They demanded that I provide them with documentation proving that I had not taken their money.

I was panicking. I had no documents to prove my innocence.

I immediately began searching for a way out of the situation. I knew that I needed to find a way to make the documents appear and also look legitimate and to back up my story.

However, I was no match for my quick witted partner who spotted all the discrepancies immediately.

They told me to hand over whatever I cheated or else they would take legal actions against me.

Lucky that my girlfriend helped me out

I had no choice, but to look for my girlfriend for help.

Her family was rich and honest and luckily they were also forgiving people.

I told them honestly about everything and was lucky that they decided to help me out and gave me the money to repay my partners or I might have already ended up in jail

This experience has taught me to be more careful with my decisions and to think twice before taking any risks. I have also learned that honesty is always the best policy.

I will never forget the panic and fear I felt when my business partners asked for documentation. It was a moment that I will never forget.

Just graduated, working now. Average pay.

I honestly don’t care about promotions or salary increase. As long as I earn enough to eat at food court or hawker centre, occasionally some low end restaurants like Collins or Saizeriya, I am content.

I don’t care much for travelling or cars.

As long as I can grab/gojek occasionally, I’m fine with public transport the rest of the time. For entertainment watching movies or watching Netflix at home is good enough for me. Also I need to set aside some money for my parents.

I just want to have as little stress as possible, chill and cruise through life. My only goal is to get a HDb flat when I am 35 because I’m single. If I stay single when I’m 35, so be it. If I get attached, that’s cool too.

Everyone around me seems so tense and I just can’t relate. As a girl my parents of course hope I get married soon. I just can’t be bothered. My dog is good enough company and the only one I’d splurge on. I just don’t care much about anything that’s not life or death. Am I damn weird or lazy or what lol.

Here are what netizens think:

• Not weird! i have the same thinking too, just gonna wait till 35 and get my own hdb 

• I think you’re doing okay. As long as you’re happy that’s all that matters.

• Contentment is blessing, but as you grow, obligations isn’t going to be easy.

• I just started working and I honestly 100% relate. Travelling has never been fun for me. Eating expensive food feels like wasteful and greedy behavior ($6.50 chicken rice tastes even better than $50 hai di lao to me).And everyone around me seems really focused on the money too which is what for the longest time I cannot relate to, and has been making me question myself (like you too) if I am damn weird or lazy or what

My (F23) boyfriend (M27) keeps hanging out with his ex, who is now his best friend, and it’s making me uncomfortable
Context: my boyfriend and I met in our student building, we’ve been together for 4 months, practically living together.

I’m a student and I go home for the weekend, and a couple of weeks ago a picture of him, his ex and her friends pops up on Instagram. I was hurt and asked him to tell me when he would meet up with her, which he agreed to.

This weekend, I call him up in the evening and it turns out they went to eat sushi together, then they went to her place to study and ended up watching a movie. He did not tell me any of this and told me it was bc it was quite spontaneous. We call to talk things through, and everything is fine again, but an hour later I get a message from his ex (first ever message she’s sent me) saying that I shouldn’t be concerned, that nothing would happen between them.

Now, I’m absolutely shocked. My boyfriend knows his relationship with her is a very big insecurity of mine, and now he’s apparently decided to share that with her. I really don’t want to be the girlfriend that keeps him away from his best friend, but their relationship is hurting me a lot and I have trouble trusting him with this.

How should I handle this?

Netizens’ comments

1. OP it sounds like he doesn’t care especially when all you’ve said you want him to do in terms of this, is to let you know when he’s hanging out with her. Have a conversation about that and if nothing changes, I’d just leave. If he doesn’t change it, he won’t change it. That’s all it appears you asked of him.
2. Agree with the other responses let it go, move on and save yourself more heartache. You are a student and school is a great place to meet someone new.
3. There is no easy way to say this. But it is in your best to break up with him. There is no relationship between you you BF if he is hanging out with his EX. Do not accept this level of disrespect .
4. You’ve already asked him to let you know when he hangs with his ex. He did not do that this last time, claiming it was spontaneous, as if he doesn’t have a cell phone. He didn’t bother to tell you despite knowing that you felt insecure about their “friendship”.
   You’ve already made your requests. He has now shown you what he was willing to do with the requests & information you’ve given him concerning his ex: absolutely nothing. He doesn’t care & will continue to hang with her. He likely wouldn’t have told you the first time if the picture never showed up on insta.
   He’s established the amount of Fs he gives, so now you have to establish what you wish to do with those Fs.