A man shared a story about his single mother friend who has problems with her priorities.

She felt that buying a Benz Mercedes is more important than buying a home for her and her son.

Here is the story:

After the borders opened I decided to return to Johor to find my old flame and to my surprise, she was no longer working as a pub girl but as a property agent.

It is common in not just Singapore but Asia where single mothers end up as pub girls.

So I was thinking I could revisit her and get some free “lovely” time. While we were having dinner and drinks, she said she is starting to earn money in the property industry.

She was driving a Perodua Myvi that was smaller than a mini cooper, I had trouble fitting into the car and it was tiny. It is the same car she drove before the pandemic.

So she started to brag about how making money in property is easy and said that she will get a brand new Mercedes in a few months’ time.

I asked if she had a home and she said that she is currently still staying in a rental apartment.

I asked if she had considered buying a home first as her son is getting older and it won’t make sense for her son to share the same room after he hits a certain age.

She insists that saving money to buy a Mercedes is more important as it makes her more reputable in the property industry.

I know a lot of property and insurance agents does this, but she obviously had problems managing her money as she was splurging on Chanel bags and etc.

I know it’s not my business to judge but it became my problem when she ask me to lend her RM500 to pay for the rent of her apartment.

What kind of logic does this mother have? No wonder single.

My girlfriend and I have been in a r.s since 2017. We met through Twitter & she told me that I was her twitter crush.

We don’t meet regularly but only when we both have time on the the same day as she’s working in the health care sector & we only meet on her off day.

Our relationship was going really well, we were so comfortable with each other to the point that we even considered swinging once but we didn’t go ahead with it. I graduated in 2018 with my bachelors and I was jobless at that point in time. So since she was working in the health care sector since 2017, she used to buy me meals once in a while.. book hotel room in JB and buy mini gifts for my birthday. I used to refuse for her to spend so much on me since I was financially independent before I started my degree.

I was never used to people paying for my stuffs, but she insisted throughout.

Over time she suddenly started picking stupid fights with me every now and then, I remember that a few days after my graduation, she suddenly comes to tell me that she’s travelling to Thailand with her friend and being a really understanding bf, I told her to have a good time. After a week she came back and I never saw any pics of her friend on her insta, just solo shots of her which someone helped her to click.

In 2019 our fights got worse and we even broke up once, during all these time I had a really bad feeling about her actions. She started dressing up real differently from what was her style, I mean I’m not the type of guy who would stop my woman from wearing what she likes but she never dressed that well when she meets me.

During this mini break she went out to USS and MBS with her friend whom was not in any of her pictures or stories yet again. She even disrespected me publicly on twitter once & her online friend came to defend her and I told him off which she fought with me for.

Later on one day I saw her out with an expat White man, and I tailed them secretly & they went into a hotel when she told me that she was working that day. When I confronted her, she told me that she’s sorry and that she actually enjoys being in a open relationship, which she lied when she said she didn’t want swinging.

She said she finds it hot if I watch her when she’s S-ually engaged with another man & that she’s really into White man. This was in 2020, ever since the relationship has been really good with no problems at all, but I don’t know if I should continue like this. She tells me that White men are superior on bed and that Singaporean & southeast Asian men in general are pathetic on bed, and so she needs the pleasure only a White man can give. She says that most girls in Southeast Asian & Asian countries go for White men because they know that they are superior in nature and bed.

It’s been more than a year since we both had S, all I do is watch her with a White dude, she tells me to please myself while watching if I feel like my S life is dead.

She also forces me to watch “videos” whenever this topic comes up, the White guy she sleeps with don’t even respect her. They make racist remarks to her and me while they are doing her and they tell me White men are superior. I really feel like I should discontinue this relationship, but afraid at the notion that I’m far too damaged to search for a new person even if I spend some time healing by myself.

She told me that so many women in Singapore hook up with White men but they make sure that it’s so secretive to the point that not even their friends can expose them, and that sometimes the friends are in it together with them so she tells me to make a choice on either to be like the vast majority of fools or to at least be better than the rest by knowing that his girl does sleep around with White men expats.

I’m confused.

I’m a rebound for my boyfriend ):

Okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years now… he does treat me well and I guess I am quite a lucky girl but he’s quite controlling and toxic.

To me it’s normal because it’s mainly just him wanting me all to himself. (Technically, I cannot have guy friends or talk to guys or whatever related to guys la so technically I lost some friends too but I also requested he do the same thing since it’s fair and no double standards mah).

Okok so what happened was I had a flashback to the past recently .. When we first started dating. I was 15 and he was 20.. He lied to me saying he was 17 cause he just couldn’t trust anyone yet. And at this point I didn’t even know he was still talking to his ex. (I cannot really explain the whole scenario to you guys but I’ll try my best.. )

The first week we hadn’t started dating so he was texting his ex while meeting me and his ex just basically wants him back and idk what did he say but I guess he misses her ?? I just felt like a two timer at that point of time and it went on for about 3 months and i guess I was very insecure.. that was how I felt la but I didn’t tell him about it cause at that point of time I was just 15… what was I supposed to say!!!

And today I saw his ig archive story and it was all about those douyin post and It was just about “ break ups “ and stuffs like as if he misses her a lot and wants her back in his life when I was already there. I already talked to him about this and he says “ ur not a rebound “ blahblahblah. Whatever a guy can say to make u feel better although I know it’s probably true that I was a rebound ..

When I saw it I just felt hurt .. deeply hurt by it and I have no one to rant to as I’ve distanced from all my friends. I loved him so much at that point of time, but turns out he was missing his ex and I feel so betrayed now. Btw we dated 2 weeks after I met him so that means ah I was aware he was talking to his ex!!! BUTTTTT He told me he was just trying to tell her to fk off from his life despite the fact that he could just block her but whatever I was blinded by love.

He was with me everyday from the day we started dating and usually he would go home and voice chat his ex and then ignore her but honestly when I think back. I don’t think he should have done that and made me feel like it was ok to be in a rs with a guy who cannot let go of his ex. Honestly I was insecure for so many months and I still hold on and till today I’m still holding on to the love I have for him and ya I guess i just cannot seem to forget the past..

idk man i m actually quite numb to this and when I saw those douyin post ah. I tell you. My love for him dropped and honestly u can tell it really dropped cause I felt quite betrayed. Why? Because it feels like I was a rebound for him to move on and to me I didn’t want that KIND OF RS TO START! Whatever thanks for hearing my rant and I hope you have a good day. A better day than mine

When it comes to relationships, trust is essential. Without it, it’s impossible to form a strong bond with someone.

That’s why when I started to have doubts about my girlfriend’s loyalty to me, I was incredibly hesitant to do anything about it.

Got my friend to test her loyalty

Ultimately, I decided the only way to truly know if she was trustworthy was to test her loyalty. I asked my friend to hit on her to see if she’d take the bait and cheat on me.

It wasn’t an easy decision to make, not just because of the risk of losing my girlfriend, but because of the guilt I felt for even considering such a thing.

I didn’t want to put her in a situation where she was put to the test and I was worried I’d be taking advantage of her. But, in the end, I felt it was the only way to know for sure if I could trust her.

I discussed my plan with my friend and he reluctantly agreed to help me out.

He was afraid that if anything happened, my friendship and his would be greatly affected.

Sat at a corner while my friend approached her

I got him to go to a bar where my gf and her friends were hanging out at as I sat at a discreet corner to observe.

He started talking to her and flirting with her, and she seemed to be into it. I was getting more and more anxious as the conversation went on.

After a few minutes, my friend asked my girlfriend to dance and she said yes. She started to move towards him and slowly brushed her body against his.

I could see that my friend was awkward and wanted to give in to the temptation in front of him but yet at the same time, he had to control himself.

Suddenly, she flipped around to face him and gave him a kiss on his lips.

Confronted her for cheating

My friend pushed her away and that was when I decided it was enough and went up towards her to confront her.

I ended things there and then with her and while she was sad, she announced in front of my friend and I that since she is single now, my friend and her can continue kissing and doing whatever they want to.

Thankfully, my friend had the bro code and scolded her for it and we left the bar after the big hoo haa.

Work Life is a Chore

I have been struggling a little as to what I should do about my life from here on. My life outside work is not 10/10, but it’s okay.

Recently, I am a little worn out from work (maybe a little is an understatement), and here’s why.

I used to have a junior contract staff, A, under my wing, who has since converted to full time and I am absolutely happy for them. It is just that this same colleague would always complain about how they are overworked and they have a lot of things to do. We all are, really. In response, the superiors have allocated and continue to allocate resources for A so they are able to delegate some work out.

A is barely using the manpower allocated to them and continues to talk about how busy they are every single day.

As a senior, I have advised countless times that they can assign some of the easier and more straightforward work out for them to focus on the more important stuff or the things they have expertise in. It is always fallen on deaf ears and I find myself repeating the advice like a broken record.

On my end, I’ve been feeling very demoralised every single time A talks about how they have a lot of work that they have to do. We all do have a lot on our plate, as we have different portfolios and we all have our fair share of problems at work.

Apart from A, there have been times where I felt utterly incompetent. I have 1,001 things that I need to do and also want to try to boost our strategy but I can’t seem to, because there is a lot of new work coming in and I can’t find time to complete them all (unless of course, I slug my life away like A).

After all these experiences, I really don’t know if this is a place that I want to work at for long or even see myself working at in the coming year. I know I am not incompetent, but no matter how much I work, it never feels enough. Working from home helps to keep my sanity alive but it’s no longer happening either.

I was scrolling through my emails when my phone started to buzz.

I glanced down and saw that it was a notification from the work group chat.

Accidentally sent some gossip into the work group chat

I quickly tapped on the message and my heart sank when I saw that I had accidentally sent a screenshot of me gossiping about one of my colleagues into the chat.

It had all started earlier that day when I was texting in another group chat with a few of my coworkers. We had been talking about the latest office gossip when one of them asked me my opinion about a certain colleague.

I had been caught off guard and without thinking, I had blurted out a few harsh words about them.

I accidentally screenshot the conversation without noticing and while sending something into the work group chat, i had accidentally included the screenshot.

Instantaneously, I felt my heart sink into my stomach and my face flush with embarrassment. I quickly tried to delete the message, but it was too late. Everyone had seen it and the air in the office was suddenly filled with uncomfortable tension.

I was sure that I was going to be fired. I had broken the company’s code of conduct by gossiping and then I had made matters worse by sending the screenshot to the group chat.

I was sure that I was going to be reprimanded and would have to apologize to the colleague I had been gossiping about.

Lucky to be let off with a warning

Thankfully, I was let off with only a warning. HR got me and this colleague to come together and talk out our issues and then reminded me on the code of conduct.

Although the incident had been embarrassing, it had taught me an important lesson about digital etiquette.

I had learned to be more careful when using my phone and to always be mindful of the potential consequences of my actions.

I also learned to be more respectful of my colleagues and to think twice before speaking ill of anyone.

I was so excited when I strike Toto group 2. I couldn’t believe it was true! Finally, I had the money I had dreamed of—all I had to do was to find a way to manage it properly.

Little did I know that my windfall was going to be gone almost immediately.

Never had so much cash before, doesn’t know how to manage it

I had never managed so much cash before, and I had no idea how to do it right. I thought I could just spend it as I pleased and that everything would be fine.

So I started to splurge on things I had never been able to afford before. I bought a new car, expensive clothes, and jewelry.

I took lavish vacations and went out to eat at fancy restaurants.

I thought I was living the life I had always wanted. But I was wrong. I realized too late that I had been careless with my money. I had no savings and no plan for the future.

I hadn’t done any research on how to manage my finances, and I had no idea how to invest my money.

Spent everything, ended up in debt

I quickly found myself in debt and I had no way to pay it off. All of my money was gone, and I was left with nothing. I had made some bad decisions and I had no one to turn to for help. I felt like a fool.

I had gone from riches to rags in the blink of an eye. I had been so excited to win the lottery, but it had all been taken away from me.

I had been so naive to think I could manage so much cash without any advice or help. I had made a costly mistake and now I had to live with the consequences.

I had been foolish to think I could have it all. I had been so careless with my money, and now I had nothing to show for it.

I had learned a hard lesson, and I would never make the same mistake again.

I knew now that money wasn’t everything, and that I had to be smarter when it came to managing my finances.

I recently knew a girl from dating app.

The first 2 months were great, we chatted alot and met up weekly.

She is my type and i could totally see myself falling for her. All of a sudden, her reply to me become very slow. From texting very frequently, we now barely exchange (only) 2-3 messages daily (she can take 5-6 hours to reply a simple text).

I told her i was interested in her, but she ask me to give her more time. But her replies to me continue to be very slow.

Is this a sign that i should give up on her?

Here are what netizens think:

• She just converted you to spare tyre. Since she ghosted you. You can just ghosted her too. If she really into you, she will initiate conversation. Don’t need think so much about her.

• Yes. She wants you to give her more time to reply to other guys. Don’t expect anything from this lovely bubble of yours hor. Confirm pop.

• Meeting wkly for 2 mths wo action, gals will feel you aren’t interested in them anymore. V obv that she has better options & you became her spare ~ Skip her & move on.

• She’s slow ghosting you. People who reply slow usually means they are not interested. Should move on to other girls. Dating app leh. You should know.

• Sad for you and me bro. U just became a spare tyre. I was a spare tyre recently but deleted her contact. Dun waste time on her already. It’s tough to let her go, lots of cars have spare tyres, seems like its the dating economics. Spare tyres seems common.