Boyfriend’s (23M) weight gain has become a turn off (23F)

Hi everyone! I’ve seen some posts related to this, but haven’t come across advice that I could use, so I thought I’d try asking.

I (23F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (23M) for several years. It’s been great and he’s my best friend.

Since the beginning of our relationship, he’s gained about 27 to 30kg. It’s been affecting my attraction to him lately and we’ve been less intimate because of it, which I know he’s noticed but he hasn’t really questioned the reason behind it.

I’ve kind of hinted at it by saying things like to not eat dessert as dinner and bringing up my concern about extreme soda consumption, and it’s only made him upset (understandably).

I have no idea what to do or say, and I’m not sure I have a place at all to even bring it up. I need to work on my health too as I’m not a big exerciser, maybe I can suggest things like that? I don’t know!!!

Netizens’ comments

1. I think you need to find a good time and have a serious conversation with him. Tell him you want to help him. Also, tell him you want to work on yourself as well.
   Lead by example!! If you start working on yourself, and become passionate about results, maybe it will motivate him too. It makes it a lot better when you do it with someone!
2. Is it possible he’s using food as a coping mechanism? Does he have any mental health issues or new stressers that popped up around the time his weight gain started?

My (22M) boyfriend is mad at (20F) me because I don’t want to sleep with him.

We’ve been dating 1 month and also I’m a virgin, he’s definitely not. I think it’s too early but he tells me he needs it.

we couldn’t get along so he doesn’t even let me touch him, not even talking about kissings and stuff.

We’re in my home alone and I feel embarrassed because of this topic. Him and I had oral once and it was good but I still feel ashamed. Also he offered me trying it without a condom

Basically, he wants to sleep with me and I need more time, he doesn’t want to wait but he wants to stay with me. So, we can’t find a compromise, what would you recommend?

P.s. ever since he is mad at me, he’s now down for a platonic relationship!!!

Netizens’ comments

1. Leave him. He doesn’t respect you or your boundaries.
2. He can wait but he doesn’t want to. Men will not die if they don’t have it, it won’t even make them sick. He wants to punch you v card and move on. If he needs it so bad, he has a hand.
3. Manipulative and pressuring you into something you aren’t ready for. He is crap, find someone who cares about your feelings above their own.
4. If he can’t wait and you are not ready, you are incompatible. If he isn’t willing to wait, you should break up with him.

My wife (42F) is out of my league in every way, but I’m (43M) the one who is unhappy.

My wife and I have been together for almost 20 years. We initially fit together b/c we were part of the same culty-church and had a similar status there, but we have long since rejected religion and we no longer have much in common.

She’s now the sole provider while I stay home with the kids. It made sense for me to stay home b/c I’ve always been the more paternal and nurturing one, while she has been career focused. She literally makes more than 20x what I was making at my last job. We need someone to stay home b/c she travels for work about 50% of the time, and when she is home, she’s a workaholic. The kids and I don’t even expect to see her on most weekdays.

I think I’m a decent father, but my wife and I no longer exist in the same world. I die inside whenever I have to interact with her peers. but society just doesn’t regard being a stay-at-home dad in the same way, so I feel like I have no value, except to our kids. I have no friends, siblings, or peers.

My wife is also really attractive, while I’m just average. She’s fun and social, while I prefer to keep to myself. She excels at everything, in and out of work, while I don’t really excel at anything.

All this should probably make me feel lucky and she should be dissatisfied, but somehow I feel empty while she seems perfectly happy.

I think the main problem is that marriage just isn’t a priority for her. She wants to be married and have a family, so I feel like I check that husband box for her, and I enable her lifestyle by caring for the kids, but her only real passion is for her work. Our marriage is painfully basic, but she’s satisfied in it b/c that’s all she wants.

I want to be in-love with her, to pursue her, to enjoy spending time with her, but I can’t if she’s just not interested. Why bother going to marriage counseling if this is who she really is? I can’t change her, and I don’t want her to pretend to be someone she’s not.

Our bedroom activities are a good example of this problem. We do it about twice per month, and only when all the stars align and I play all my cards right. I’d be happy to be intimate every day, or satisfied with just once a week, but she has always had a lower libido. If I communicate that I’d like to do it more, she’ll go along with it, but it’s no fun if she’s not into it.

I don’t think we’re really compatible as partners, but it feels insane to think that I would ever leave her b/c she’s great on paper, and I know I would have an impossible time finding someone else. She and the kids are happy, so I’m the only one feeling alone, and I’m convinced the grass would not be greener on the other side, so I maintain the status quo. What would you do in this situation?

Thanks to anyone who read all of this.

Need advice: gf has had poop on underwear multiple times

I’ve been with my girlfriend since the holidays and we recently started getting intimate. The first time we did it I noticed she had a lot of poop stains on her thong strap. It wasn’t fresh, but rather old poop stains. I was grossed out but put it out of my mind and we just banged. It was heat of the moment so I gave her the benefit of the doubt and figured because she wasn’t expecting us to get intimate, she didn’t feel the need to be super clean.

Since then we’ve slept together about 10 times and most of the time it’s been the same thing – poop stains on her various underwear. I’ve gotten used to it and try not to look yet I always do.

Last night was different. She took off her thong and the smell was atrocious. This time it wasn’t poop stains but rather wet fresh poop on her thong. I held my breath and we finished really fast.

She could tell things were different and she asked me ‘what’s wrong?’ I didn’t have the heart to mention the poop thing so I told her it was a long day and I’m just exhausted.

If this was a one-off isolated thing then whatever. But poop stains most of the time and now fresh wet poop is too much. I don’t know how to bring this up without offending her.

(And no, this isn’t a post about being grossed out that women take poop or fart. And also, these are not spotting stains from her period. These are straight up poop stains/wet poop. I’m just trying to figure out how to bring up a topic that most people, especially women, would be grossed out by.)

MIL went to my husband’s bed to spoon him every morning. Is it normal?

I just learned about this today for the first time. Mother in law went to her son’s bed every morning, spooned and scratched his back.

Is this normal? this is weird. I don’t want to jump to conclusions or anything, just pure concern about common sense.

She even bragged about it to his friends when they came over while he was in school, and he felt so embarrassed by that.

He couldn’t tell her to stop because he didn’t want her to blow off on him.

I asked husband what did he do when she snuggled into his bed when he had a b*ner, he said he just pretended that he was sleeping and tried to lay down at the angle when his bottom was far from her body.

She only stopped when he went to uni and had a GF, and he had to specifically told her to stop.

She then went to the younger brother’s bed instead. Hubby said he felt relieved that it was not him anymore when he saw his mom spooned his brother on the same bed every morning.

Netizens’ comments

1. No, not common to have dear old mom crawl into bed with her teenaged son and spoon him. He should have told her to get forked and leave him alone. That’s honestly creepy.
2. Very scary, not normal- something is wrong
3. My 9 year old asks to sleep with me once a week but he’s usually on one end of the bed while I’m on the other. I think he just likes the comfort of knowing I’m there. But to share a bed with a teenager? What the f.
4. The FACE I just made. As a mother, NO. This is very NOT normal.

Why can’t I find men who are okay with hairy woman?

This might have to do with the types of guys I date but am I the only one that finds everyone I meet on the dating sites have very strong opinions on hair in the nether regions.

This might be TMI but I (24 F) don’t shave. It’s not a forest down there by any means, I still keep it tidy but don’t go bald for a few reasons. I just trim it short and although it’s not a forest, it’s more of like a small bush.

Things will be going so well with a guy (I typically go for men 26-32 y/o) and we’ll have that conversation and he’ll tell me how much he likes it bald, I’ll say I don’t and then things are over between us. Can anyone relate? Any tips (aside from “well just shave”)?

I’m getting frustrated and embarrassed at this point. I have tried to give in to the norms and did for many years but I just can’t and won’t do it anymore.

(On that note I don’t expect a man to shave either. Tbh I prefer if he doesn’t and ime it’s been rare to find one that does shave-which is good for me lol.)

a lot of people have said they prefer a shaved look so they don’t get hair in their mouth, with me, oral is off the table. I will happily give it but I HATE to receive it and I tell my partner’s that as well.

Some of them say I’ll change my mind if I let them do it but it’s just something I’m not into. So if they really like giving them we’re not a match but most of them are happy with THAT preference of mine but not the no shaving because they find when I’m bald it “feels better”. Idk tho.

My girlfriend was not okay taking the bus in Singapore, but whenever we were overseas, she wanted to take the bus to act like a local there.

She said that it would be a great way to learn about the country and its culture, and that it would be much more interesting than taking taxi everywhere.

Always complains about public transport in Singapore

In Singapore, she always complains that there are a lot of passengers on the public transport and it felt like she had no sense of personal space.

She would always want to spend money on taxis even if the distance might just be two to three bus stops away.

It didn’t matter if the prices for taxis were surging at that moment or even if it was peak hour, she would rather spend $20 dollars on a short 5 to 10 minutes journey instead of just taking the bus for a much lower fare.

She would also think that it is a waste of time to take public transport in Singapore and insists that taxis are faster, even when there is a traffic jam.

I tried explaining to her that sometimes in traffic jams, taking the bus might also be faster as there are lanes specially delegated for bus usage in certain hours but she does not want to listen to me.

Acts like a local overseas

Whenever we go overseas, for instance in our recent trip to Bangkok, she would always want to take public transport.

She would say that we need to act more ‘local’ and blend in with them and by achieving that, we need to take public transport.

She would then go on about coming to holiday means must save money.

Even when times where a one end to the other end train ride overseas takes a long time but Grab takes maybe 20 minutes maximum, she would still insist on taking public transport.

I don’t know how she can contradict herself so well, there might be something wrong with her but well it was my choice to date her.

I never thought I’d be in this position, staring down at my beloved car, the one I’d spent so much time and effort making perfect, knowing that soon it would be gone.

My wife had asked me to sell it so she could buy a Hermes limited edition bag, and I had reluctantly agreed.

Couldn’t believe that she would do this

It was hard for me to believe that she was willing to sacrifice something that I had cherished for so long in order to buy something that she wanted.

And yet, here I was, trying to figure out how to get the most money for my car so she could fulfill her dream.

I had done some research and I knew that the car was worth a decent amount, but I also knew that it might take some time to find a buyer.

I started to worry about how long it would take, and if I would be able to get enough for the car to buy the bag.

Finally, after weeks of tirelessly searching, I found a buyer. He was willing to pay what I was asking, and I was relieved. I quickly transferred the money to my wife, and she was ecstatic.

She couldn’t wait to buy the bag and I was happy that she was so excited.

I was super sian afterwards, it made me question my marriage

But when the bag arrived, I wasn’t as thrilled. It was beautiful, yes, but it felt wrong. I knew that my car was worth more than this bag, and that it was wrong to sacrifice something I loved for something so fleeting.

I was angry and hurt, but I kept my emotions in check because I wanted my wife to be happy. We both kept up the facade of happiness, but deep down I was seething.

We had been married for almost a decade, and I had always been the one to make sure she was happy and taken care of, and now it felt like she was taking advantage of me.

It was hard for me to accept that she had asked me to sell something that I had worked so hard to make perfect, in order to buy something that she wanted.

I felt like it was a sign that our marriage was not as strong as I had thought it was.