I(33F) asked my husband (31M) to wear a condom and he freaked out

In the last few months my husband had some questionable behavior, enough that I had to ask him if he had cheated.

Even though he denies it, I’ve asked him to start wearing condoms when we get intimate, just until we work some things out with a therapist.

I’m honestly conflicted about whether or not a believe him and I want to give him the benefit it of the doubt so I felt like him wearing a condom would allow us to move forward in our relationship while still keeping me “safe”. It would take a lot of anxiety away for me.

When I asked him to do this he freaked out. He said he believes a man shouldn’t have to wear a condom in a marriage and that it takes away all the pleasure for him to do this.

He told me if I’m concerned about pregnancy I should get on birth control (we have talked about this in the past and I explained that I am not able to be on birth control for a variety of reasons and that I had tried).

He’s been super mean toward me for the last couple of days and pretty much told me he won’t sleep with me if he has to wear a condom.

He told me he needs time to mentally process my request. He’s making me feel like I am asking him to do something horrible and i genuinely don’t know how to respond.

I explained very honestly why I was asking for this and that it would just be until we got through some therapy (not forever) and his response and reaction made me feel like I am just an object HE OWNS to get his D wet with however he wants. My feelings didn’t seem to be relevant at all. I’m really confused.

My mom walked in on me changing and saw whipping marks on my back, now I don’t know how to proceed

I’ve (22F) been in a relationship with Mark (27M) for around three months. We were friends for a few years before dating each other (we also had on-and-off no-strings-attached encounters over the years as well).

Mark is into domination, I am into pain, we get turned on by these extreme acts of intimacy so of course our chemistry in bed is off the charts, and chalk that in with the fact we know each other extremely well, it really helps.

I stayed over at his place for the weekend and he whipped me, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

I am into feeling the after-effects of the whipping as well because it doesn’t just last when I’m being hit but afterwards there’s a certain feeling I get when I’m the only person knowing what’s under my clothes.

Anyways, I got home yesterday morning, and while I was changing, my mother walked in and saw my back, she had an extreme reaction, a moment of absolute horror, and for me, I was embarrassed she saw that, but she also didn’t knock.

Now I am stuck not knowing how to proceed, because every single time I walk by her she looks like she’s got a multitude of questions running through her mind.

Has anyone had to explain something like this to their parents? Should I just leave it and allow time to pass and pretend as if nothing happened??

I broke up with my bf after I learned he cheated on his ex

Me (24F) and my ex (28M) have been together for 10 months now. Our relationship had been good so far, some light arguments here and there but nothing worth breaking up over.

A little context is that I despise cheaters. I have not been cheated on but I have seen the aftermath of what happened to those close to me. It affected a huge aspect of their lives and it took them a long time to get over it.

When we were still in the talking stage, I have already shown my strong dislike for cheating/cheaters. He told me he wasn’t that kind of person and that he’ll never do it to me. Fast forward from that time, he pursued me and eventually we got together. Sometimes, I would show him news about local celebrities and cheating scandals and I would trash talk the cheaters. He would mostly just keep quiet and agree with what I say.

During our relationship, we shared our dating history to each other. It was nothing too serious just the basics of what happened, how long it was, their name, and why they broke up. I was pretty happy in the relationship at this time.

It all went downhill two weeks ago when we were invited to his friend’s party. They were catching up so I decided to get drinks for my then bf and I. When I was deciding what to get, I heard one of them say “Oh damn, Maya got married.” There was another couple with me in the kitchen so I asked “Who’s Maya?” I knew the name of his friends and their gfs so I was pretty surprised since they never mentioned a Maya before. They looked uncomfortable when I asked and told me to ask my bf for it later. I didn’t have any clues to who Maya was whatsoever. I got back with the drinks and was bothered by it the whole night.

When he drove me home, I decided to ask him who Maya was and told him I overheard them say her name. He got nervous and told me not to hate him after what he’ll tell me. He also told me he didn’t mean to keep this from me but he was scared of how I’ll react to it. At this time, I got a bad feeling in my gut. He then proceeded to share how Maya was his ex gf who he cheated on. They were together for 3 years but 2 years into the relationship, he wanted to find some spice in his life so he cheated on her with Lily for almost a year. They had a bad breakup when Maya knew and he dated Lily shortly after. He told me it was the stupidest decision he’s ever made and that he was young and dumb at that time. He assured me that he would never cheat on me and that he changed.

Obviously, I was dumbfounded. I told him I needed some time to think and for a whole week we had no contact. When I was ready to talk, I texted him to meet in a café we frequented in and I told him I was breaking up with him. He was very upset and begged me to rethink my decision. I was firm and so we split ways. Our mutual friends eventually knew of the breakup and days after, some of them called me AH because I was punishing him for a mistake he made years ago. They told me he planned to propose to me during our 1 year anniversary. I do feel bad for him but I still think I did right by breaking up because my perception of him changed when he told me. Even if I did stay, I don’t think I could ever trust him fully.

My(19m) son is dating my boss(50f)

I found out about it yesterday when I came home two hours early and found the two of them making out and getting it on.

It’s been going on for a month now, according to them. He insists that he knows what he’s doing but the age gap and the dynamics are both worrying.

My son said she was the one who made the first move and she admitted to this as well. They both tell me they are serious and my son begged me to accept the relationship.

Netizens’ comments

1. Of course, she made the 1st move and will bet if you and him talk more, he may come to his own conclusion how disgusting this is.
2. Gender swap it and ask the same question. No reason why the answer needs to be different.
   Not sure what you can do though. Does your son work at the same place? HR issue?
   Maybe you just have to let it play out because I don’t see what other options you have. Outside of just being there for if/when it falls apart.
3. This sounds like a conflict of interest for your boss.
   Does your son understand you can be in deep trouble at work? If you get fired because your boss got fed up with your son or whatever, does your son understand you won’t be able to pay the bills and getting a job right now is difficult?
   Is this a big company with HR or is this like a business in which your boss is the owner?
   You need to tell HR because this person cannot be your supervisor anymore. Your boss can retaliate at work if you do not accept their relationship, or if they break, or for whatever reason. That’s highly problematic.
4. it is super creepy of her, your son is totally blinded by it, HOWEVER if you so much as try to split them up, chances are you will create distance with your son and when things go south, he may not come to you or may feel stuck. The only thing you can do is make sure he still sees his friends, still studies and takes the necessary steps to build his future and allow this to crumble as it will. Also, make sure people know about this. Shame is a strong deterrent.

Solo valentine date ideas

Hello everyone, I’m a 24 F and I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day (romantically) before. Despite having two short-term relationships in the past, and not long enough that we get to celebrate valentine’s day together.

I’ve always treated the day like any other. But this year, I want to do something special for myself as a way to show gratitude and practice self-love.

Does anyone have any creative ideas for how to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a single person? I want to make the day meaningful and enjoyable, without feeling sad or left out.

Any suggestions are welcome!

Go out for a meal alone

Wouldn’t call these suggestions creative, but I think they might make alone time enjoyable:

Take yourself out for a good meal, maybe at a place you’ve been wanting to eat for some time but didn’t for whatever reason (no time, costs a little more than what you would usually pay for etc). Some people think too much about what others might think of them if they’re eating alone in a restaurant or just eating alone in general, but that’s just the spotlight effect.

Buy yourself a gift you can appreciate, doesn’t necessarily need to be expensive.

Spend time on hobbies you can enjoy alone and appreciate that alone time. Usually I find this to be the most enjoyable, time is something we all have a very limited supply of, and being able to spend time with myself enjoying the hobby and peace that comes with it can help boost my mood.

Write down things you always wanted to do

Best thing about taking yourself on a date is you know yourself best! Write 5-10 things you been meaning to do (like go to a restaurant you’ve been wanting to go to, get spa treatment and eat your favorite dessert etc) on pieces of paper then pick three randomly.

Send a letter to yourself

• Send a letter to yourself (like, actually mail it in)
• go for an early morning/late night walk
• buy a good candle, bath/shower bomb, face mask, and a good bottle of wine
• go fishing (the wacky out of the way choice)
• watch Avatar Way of the Water (it’s so fking long it’d take the whole night, and munch on the biggest sizing popcorn)
• take the downtown line and just sit with a switch/book and people watch to jewel, and go have tanuki raw on top floor. Oh I heard the mirror maze is quite fun too (the weird sounds creepy but might be cool)

Do community work

Depending on what you personally enjoy… some ideas

• Give back. Go find a cause that you feel passionate about and go volunteer there. Willing Hearts, SPCA, kids home.
• Learn something new. Latte art, cooking class, baking class, pottery, archery, make your own perfume
• tourist for a day. Go explore different parts of SG you’ve not been to before. Plan an itinerary, find the best foods in that region. Bring a camera and pretend to be a tourist. Better still, if got time and got money, stay at hotel for the full works
• live the good life. spa, massage, go to the hair salon, high tea (or just normal tea)

Enjoy the day!

I (24M) know that a lot of people will just just say I’m in the wrong because of the stigma, but hear me out.

I’m consistently not really sweating or anything. I usually shower when I feel gross and it usually takes me 5-6 days before I actually start to feel gross. I’m not crazy, when it’s hot and sticky I shower every 2-3 days like normal but it just doesn’t feel necessary.

Anyway, the inciting incident here was on Sunday. I was buying more shampoo and commented on how the price had almost doubled since last time.

My girlfriend (29F) asked when I last ordered it and it was some time in mid-2020. She was shocked “how did it take you almost 3 years to go through a bottle of shampoo?”

I told her that I don’t use a lot and eventually we got into how frequently I showered and she acted like I was crazy. She didn’t even know that I was averaging one shower a week because I keep good hygiene.

I groom myself regularly and wear deodorant so I don’t think anyone can really tell the difference. Then my girlfriend, we’ll call her Granet, starts going on about “oh that explains the smell” and stuff like that.

I totally think she was just making it up at this point. I’ve been dating her for 2 years and she’s never commented about smell or anything.

There’s no way she just happened to decide that I smell bad now that she knows my shower schedule. She’s just trying to shame me. We argued for a while about it and then she went home.

Am I a wrong just because I’m not following the societal norm? I remember reading that overshowering can cause head lice but no one even talks about that.

I had been with my girlfriend for a few years now and I had always thought that our relationship was pretty good. We had fun together, we had good conversations, and we both seemed to understand each other pretty well.

Started to be jealous of my best friend

But lately, something had been off.

At first, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but then I noticed that my girlfriend was acting a little differently around me.

She seemed to be jealous of my best friend. We had been friends since secondary school, and he was like a brother to me.

But it seemed like every time we would hang out, she would get mad and accuse me of spending more time with him than with her.

At first, I tried to brush it off and reassure her that I still cared about her. I even went out of my way to make sure that I was spending time with her and not my best friend.

But no matter what I did, Jenny was still jealous.

Jealousy turned into argument

One day, we had a huge argument about it and she stormed out of my house. I couldn’t believe it had come to this. I had to do something to fix this.

I called my best friend and asked him to meet me. I told him about the situation and he offered to talk to her.

He said he would try to explain to her that he was just my friend and we had a strong bromance going on and that I still loved her.

I agreed and I asked him to come over to my house.

When he arrived, my girlfriend was already there. I could tell that she was still angry, but he managed to convince her that it was just a misunderstanding.

He reassured her that I still cared about her and that I would never do anything to hurt her even though he and I were spending a good amount of time together.

To my surprise, she agreed and even apologized for her behavior. It seemed like everything was going to be okay.

Girlfriend still left me because she wanted to be my priority

The next day, I found out that she had broken up with me. She said that she could never trust me again and that she couldn’t handle the idea of me spending more time with my best friend than with her.

I was heartbroken.

I had lost the woman I loved because of something small like spending more time with my best friend instead of her.