Rude Manager. Can I report to MOM?

So I recently joined a new company not so long ago and I actually enjoy and like the job and it pays decently.

However, I have this very rude manager who no one really likes. I heard she has tons of complaints about her and how some people do not want to go to work cause of her. Whether it be urgent leave or MC.

The mental stress she puts on everyone and how the room feels heavier when she walks in. It was even rumoured that she was transferred out of a previous department due to her attitude.

She is generally rude to everyone, even to the people who ‘listens’ to her.

Other day, she tried to snatch my coworker’s phone from their hands. Rules were no phones allowed unless it was for family/personal matters.

Who knew if it was a personal matter. Anyways it was totally inappropriate to just take someone’s personal belongings out of their hands.

I was told that HR knew about her attitude, but nothing has been done. Another thing was she was supposed to move to another department at the end of January, but she is still currently still in the department, and no one knows why is she still in the team when nobody but 5% of the team likes her.

She is terrible to everyone except her superiors, where she puts up a fake smile.

I will not quit my job just because one person is nasty, but i do not like her pushing others around and not having any consequences. She mentioned we could complain about her, she doesn’t mind.

Another friend of mine out of the company told me I could report to MOM about her, but I am not entirely sure…it also seem that a higher up must be protecting her since she is still in the company even though there is a lot of complains about her.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you very much.

I have given up on dating

I lost my belief in true love. I met so many men and heard so many disgusting stories from friends that I just don’t want to experience any kind of disappointment anymore.

Everytime I met someone who is sweet to me, gives me attention and shows interest in me, they end up dating someone else.

They end up using me, treat me like trash and make me feel worthless.

Everytime they end things saying that I am so nice and a wonderful person and that they can’t understand why I am still single.

They meet other girls while I am loyal. I don’t want to play those stupid games. I just want someone focusing on me, wanting to get to know just me. Why is that so hard?

I just got hurt again. From a man I already knew over a year before we decided to date each other.

In the beginning he was sweet, showed interest and put effort in me. But after one month he started meeting someone else.

I thought he would be the one who would prove me wrong and would show me that not every man is the same. But instead he just strengthened me in my belief.

I am done. I will never meet someone again. I have enough.

I want to conceive my dying friend’s child. I (20f) know this sounds so freaking weird, and it probably is.

For context, we’ve been off and on with romance for about a year because he’s afraid of committing when he knows he doesn’t have long to live.

He (25m) has had cancer for years, and it was in remission. However, he now has a growth in his skull and is getting surgery soon and most likely will not make it through. I feel as though I haven’t had enough time with him.

We love each other very dearly, he reminds me of myself in so many ways, and he’s exactly the kind of person I’d want my child to be.

I suppose my thought process here is that he would live on through the child. We’ve discussed serious topics like this in the past, such as if he were to make it another year, we’d get married.

We both have a strong “screw it, let’s do it” mentality here, since we don’t have the right amount of time to deal with this.

The child would be a memento, solely as a way to remember him. I am also not suddenly deciding I want a child, I’ve been thinking about having one for around a year. I think I’ve just always wanted a future with him, and if we had a child I could live it out.

I know it’s messed up to have a child with someone knowing full well the kid will never know their father, and vice versa.

I don’t know why I keep having this thought. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I found out my dad had a secret life and I want nothing to do with him

I 31(F) just found out my dad had a whole other family. Complete with a house two kids one F(15) and one M (13). He also has another child with another woman F (35).

I have been holding in so much sadness, rage and heartbreak for the sake of my mother who just found out that her 40 year marriage has all been practically a lie.

My brothers (33 and 36) are devastated as well. Makes me think I’ve never actually known who he is and that makes me rethink my whole childhood, a difficult thing to unpack.

My mother is vulnerable financially and I want her out of his place before we confront him. So I know I need to get double the jobs plus side gigs to make this happen ASAP.

My heart absolutely breaks for her and I’m absolutely shattering inside myself knowing I have to cut him off. He is growing old and developing memory issues, which makes me feel incredibly guilty. It also isn’t how I imagined my life. I hoped to give my future kids two sets of grand parents not one and a half.

I also feel for my brothers because they got denied real life changing opportunities in their formative years. Ironically the timeline coincided with major financial shifts so he couldn’t afford to provide fully for them since he had to build a home or provide for his other family.

He also wants to give our childhood home to his second family which sickens me to no end. I don’t know the other family and haven’t made contact. He was a present father for us, since my mother is his first and legal wife, which makes me wonder how active a father he has been for the other kids.

I hope to confront him in a year or two, take my mum out of that situation, and maybe ask him to actually be present fully for his other kids. At least one of us needs to not have trauma.

I know I am a full adult but I can’t help feel like I was a spare child, not good enough for him to put his whole trust and weight behind us as opposed to ‘spreading risks’. It also explains why he never fought hard to make my mother happy. We weren’t the only option, just one among many and it has been soul crushing and crippling.

struggling to complete studies in SG

F21, graduated poly (CGPA 3.5) in biz, took a gap year and want to apply to uni this year.

I’m looking to apply to SMU but SUSS is also an option but the degree is not as ideal.

But the fees in SMU are really expensive and I’m not sure if I can get enough financial aid/fall into the criteria for loans.

My family situation is really bad, have been living alone since I was 19 without any financial help from them. Father is donno where, doesn’t give money, mother doesn’t earn a lot either.

Assets wise, my mother gambled a lot of my bursary and scholarship savings since I was P1. We’re talking about $300-700 worth of bursaries every year up to Sec 4. Everything was just taken away from me. My PT income since I worked from 14 years old are also gone.

I only have around 3-4k in assets that I have been investing in a low risk profile. But ofc the capital is very small so the returns are not a lot at least for now.

I have a few chronic illnesses that I have to go to the hospital around once a month/2 months, so it’s another $50-$100 per visit as well. Not to mention the other living expenses that I need to cope with since I live alone and I only work part time @ $10 per hour cause I can’t work for long hours due to my health.

I really want to pursue my studies so that I can break free from this poverty cycle but the cost of living and studying in Singapore is just too insane. All these financial worries just make me so tired and burnt out, my mental health is really bad and I’ve been to IMH a few times for S attempts.

Also please don’t leave unnecessary remarks such as selling feet pics or doing OF because I’ve gotten those before and they’re not helpful. Otherwise, I really appreciate any form of advice or information referrals thank you

Woman accused me of staring during an exercise class, and it’s stressing me out

I’m quite a big guy. I’ve decided that this will be the year that I knock the unhealthy lifestyle on the head, and I’ve been calorie counting and exercising since the start of January. So far so good, I’ve seen some losses and I’m trying to develop good habits.

Today I was at a workout class (high intensity interval training). The way the class is structured is that you all grab a workout mat, and find a space in the hall. I always go up near the back for two reasons.

Firstly, I don’t want to embarrass myself with doing the exercises as best as I can, in a room of ultra fit people. Secondly (and more importantly), my workout gear sometimes rides down my backside (I try to get the best fitting stuff as much as I can, but it never always stays up). The less of that people see the better!

Anyway, we do the workout, and at the end of every round, there’s a “finisher” that you lie on your back and alternate between crunches and bicycle kicks. After this, you get a rest before the next round. I’d sit up, drink my water, and try not to die while waiting for the rest period to be done.

We get to the end of the class, and after we do the cooldown, a woman from the front of the class turns round and marches over to me. She is waving her phone in my face, calling me a pervert for staring at her. I honestly had no idea what she was talking about, but she said that she records herself to check her form during the class, and that she saw me staring at her during the finisher rest breaks. I denied it, because that was the truth, but she showed me the video, and it kinda does look like I’m looking in her direction. I literally was just trying to recover, and I was staring into space.

I’ve now got this woman going off at me, before storming out. The instructor came over and was sympathetic when I explained the situation. He said to try not to worry about it, but it’s making me apprehensive about going back to the class. I can’t honestly remember if she’s a regular or not, so I don’t know the likelihood of bumping into her again. I’ve been happy with my progress so far, but this is mega stressing me out.

Women sometimes say to me “you can do whatever you want to me” and then they get disappointed when I try to cuddle

Apparently “do whatever you want to me” actually means “I want you to read my mind and dominate me in a specific way that I like.”

I’m a huge 1.9m tall, bearded tatted dude. Women assume I’m this rough daddy-dom or something. But I’m a teddy bear.

If you tell me I can do whatever I want I will cuddle you, eat you out, give you a massage, finger you, make out, etc.

But this often disappoints women who say this to me who apparently expected me to know that “do whatever you want” meant “choke me” “spank me” and “call me a wh*re.”

This might be a specific to me problem but it’s come up enough that I just find it odd. It’s cool if you want a spanking but just say that! I can’t read your mind. I don’t want to slap you I want to hug you.

Netizens’ comments

1. No, that’s a them problem. People need to accept that if they don’t clearly communicate what they want, they get what they ask for.
2. I’ve learned that when women say “You can do whatever you want to me” it is their way of saying they like it rough… because when they say that they are opening the doors to rough territory which is usually something off limits….
   so when they say that and you go gentle, it’s not what they expect and are let down… but if gentle is what you like, you just gotta find someone who also likes it
3. I love a good cuddle. I think there are other women out there who do as well.
   My advice is to ask them exactly what they mean, flat out ask them if they’re saying they like it rough, or if they truly mean anything. Then tell them that you’re a cuddler, that you mean to be gentle and affectionate.

Context: My (F) bf (M) and I have been together for about xyrs, recently he lost money in crypto and borrowed from the bank, hoping to recoup his losses, but was not able to do so.

At the same time, he was also changing jobs hence had no income. I lent him $ to tide him over and we both scrimped together, now he has a job and healthy savings.

He has been paying off his loan monthly and also saving decently, and would return me my $. We are also planning to marry in the next few years.

recently he told me that he has placed about Xk into crypto because the market has been doing well recently, and only has cash of Xk, but he has a loan to be paid off.

I shared that it doesn’t seem safe to place so much money in cryptop when he has a loan to be paid off, because he could lose money again and not be able to pay off the loan.

He then said that worse comes to worse, I could lend him some money to tide him over again, as he doesn’t want to cash out his investments at a loss. I do have healthy savings and can afford to lend him the money.

But somehow I felt that it wasn’t right? Because I shouldn’t really be his back up and if he knows he might make a loss, then he should reduce the amount set aside for investment?

But on the other hand, we are already planning a future together and our finances will combine, so I am not sure if I am being an AH by being calculative?

I (F21) am a student with no income. My boyfriend of 2 years (M23) runs his own company and makes quite a lot of money.

A couple of months ago, we went on a trip that we paid for fifty-fifty. I really enjoyed it, but I basically spent all of my money on it.

My boyfriend now asked me if I wanted to go on another trip, to which I replied that I no longer had any money (he didn’t know the last trip made me broke).

He replied that he didn’t care and that he could pay for everything since he wanted to go and would much rather go there with me than alone, even if he had to pay.

I refused because I didn’t want to feel like I was living off his money. He got offended by the fact that I wouldn’t allow him to pay for the trip.

I usually have no problem with him paying for dinner or other small things, but a trip is too much to accept.

Netizens’ comments

1. Depends on how he reacts to spending money on you. Does he hold it against you? Use it as leverage for things you ‘owe’ him? If not, I would go and have fun. Life is pretty short and shitty, being able to enjoy things from time to time is what helps us all stay sane.
2. If he offered out of consideration and love, no wonder he got offended. He still has to accept your decision though. You also have a right to feel the way you feel.
3. This income disparity isn’t going to go away, though. And he isn’t going to stop wanting nice things, fun trips, decent meals, etc. because you’re skint. If it really is a big issue for you, then it may end up driving a wedge between you before long. Sometimes, it’s just nice to accept a gift in the way it is intended.
4. I understand not wanting to have him pay for it. But this isn’t just about you, it’s also about him and what he wants. A trip for 1 person costs $X. A trip for two people costs $2X. He has $2X to spend and would immensely enjoy a trip with his girlfriend more than he would a trip alone.