I’ve been dreaming of becoming a grandmother for as long as I can remember. I always imagined myself surrounded by a herd of grandchildren, spoiling them with attention and love.

As my children got older, I started to encourage them to think about marriage and starting a family of their own.

My oldest son was the first to get serious about a relationship.

His girlfriend was absolutely perfect in my eyes and I was ecstatic to think that I would one day become a grandmother.

However, there was one problem – they were not ready to become parents yet.

They wanted to wait a few years and build a strong relationship and then get married before bringing a child into the world.

I was patient and understanding, but I still wanted to see a grandchild of mine soon.

One day, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I asked my son to get his gf pregnant before they got married.

I rationalized that it would be a great way to start their family and that they could always get married later on.

My son was shocked by my suggestion and he said that even if his gf agreed, it was super expensive to raise up a child and very time consuming.

What’s more, his gf’s family was more traditional and they might not be able to accept it.

I thought about it for a while and realised that my son is right because things are definitely more expensive now and raising up a child is not child’s play.

Well I guess my dream of becoming a Grandmother would have to wait.

Until then, I can only watch my friends playing with their Grandkids and continue dreaming.

Without fail, my girlfriend always has to go poop in the middle of us getting nasty in bed…what can I do to stop this?

The majority of times when we get intimate, my girlfriend has to stop in the middle (during foreplay, eating out, penetration, whatever) and go take a dump.

We’ve talked about it for her to try to use the toilet before we do it, as much as possible, but it seems like she can’t always do that.

I don’t know if it’s being aroused or just the position of laying down on the bed on her back that makes her have to go, but it’s really putting a damper on our bedroom activities.

Sometimes she comes back with little tissue shreds in her genitals, because I hear her use so much in the toilet trying to wipe herself clean.

and there have been a few times she comes back and her butt smells like poop. I really don’t know what to do or what to say, please help.

Netizens’ comments

1. If you do not have a bidet, you could perhaps install one; it is easy and quick to wash one’s lower parts with one. If she needs to go, use the bidet chop chop fast game come back.
2. Intercourse actually helps relieve constipation, she might be constipated before and while you are doing it, her bowels loosened.
3. This sounds like a neurological issue, because normally arousal and stimulation causes a response in the parasympathetic nervous system that inhibits bowel contraction, effectively keeping things from “moving along”. It sounds like in her case the signalling is reversed somehow. She should talk to a doctor about this.

Physically Attractive = better opportunities at the workplace? What do you think?

Yes, i get it. Some of you will be like,’ ya duh, looks are essential!’ but some of us till cling on to that false illusion that in a “meritocratic-driven” country like Singapore, they’ll actually place more emphasis on your hard work rather than your looks.

But in the cold hard ugly reality of us unattractive folks, our 100% effort is equal to an attractive person’s 50%. The other 50% is attributed to their looks and all the benefits that come along with it.

You can’t deny that looks do play a part, i mean even in our day-to-day purchases, we will always ask ourselves “Which one looks nice ah?” before making that purchase. Pretty sure it applies to daily interactions as well.

Quick story. Some dude in my workplace who isn’t even competent in his day-to-day duties, can’t handle cases assigned, can’t manage the team well, and heck there were tons of complaints about him.

But hey, he is tall, lean, with that slick financial-advisor-esque hairstyle, well-spoken, and was then chosen to represent our company in some local documentary.

And voila, guess who was graciously awarded the “A” during performance grading for exemplary performance? Yes sir, not us ugly C-graders. hmmm. Halo-effect in play idk?

Do you guys have any stories to share on when looks triumph all at your workplace? Would be interesting to read hahaha.

Netizens’ comments

1. In Korea, doing plastic surgery is supported and they do it because being pretty and handsome do have advantages in life. Human can be superficial, it is the reality. Of course, being pretty or handsome alone are not enough but doesn’t mean it isn’t a advantage.
   Your example is not someone who just look pleasant but also capable of present themselves well. That is how simple human can be. As long they look good, speak well, even if the context is generic, they will think that person is smart. In fact, speaking well is more impactful than looking good but if you got both, wow, you will be amazed how you can talk cock your way through.
2. I guess it really depends on luck. Some get it easy by being physically attractive yet some get targeted by insecure people even if their work is good. The latter might not necessarily be drop dead gorgeous but better looking than their direct superiors.
   For example, some younger gen gets targeted by aunties at work just cos they get complimented from others in office for their youth and looks. Like imagine getting picked on for your height too like what?
3. For customer-facing roles it’s almost a truth. I look at all the insurance agents, property agents I’ve encountered, plus all the sales team members in every company I’ve worked in, and none of them are below average, like at minimum you could rate them a 5/10 in term of physical looks.

Everyone backed out of going to my kid’s bday dinner

My kid turns 17 this week and we had planned a family dinner. Everyone was going to meet up at the restaurant of my kid’s choice.

I’ve been planning this since the middle of last month. I reminded everyone just two days ago and everyone was on board.

Today I call my mom to tell them when and where to meet us. She declines because the restaurant isn’t one she likes.

If she doesn’t go then my aunt and cousin also won’t be there. My other cousin told me just now she and her husband can’t go because she procrastinated on a project and now has to time crunch. (She works for herself and sets her own timeline. She knew for weeks the dinner was coming up and when her “deadline” was but continued to procrastinate anyways.)

My kid has Asperger’s; making friends and keeping them is very hard for her. So she has no friends to invite or anything.

I’m disappointed in my family. How could they just blow her off like this? So disappointed and so angry.

On top of just being an all around great kid, she has worked so hard this year. She deserves a day that’s all about her. A day where she is surrounded by her favorite people.

I am just so so angry

Mom has forced herself into my home and it seems I have no say! I am so miserable!

I am a single mother. I recently started living alone with my little son. I was looking forward to having time to myself to reflect, re strategize and re-build my life. But my mother decided to temporarily move in to “help” me with the baby.

While I appreciate the kind gesture, we have never gotten along and we do not enjoy each other’s company. I don’t want her help and I certainly don’t need her help.

Despite her presence, I end up doing 70% of the housework and pay for 100% of the bills. She does a halfhearted job taking care of my son, so I do 85% of the child raring myself. I also had to furnish a room for her. There is also additional pressure to entertain her and ensure she is okay. She also acts helplessness in most scenarios, so in the absence of my father, I have to do all adult things for her (such as taxes).

I have tried positive thinking, I have tried and adjusting my attitude. But the truth is, her presence is enraging me.

When I suggest that it’s time for her to return to her home and her husband because I don’t need her help- she ignores me and tells me she is here for “x months”. It seems I have no say in how long she stays in my home yet she adds little value. Mind you, she is happily married and has a beautiful home and a wealthy husband.

I have concluded that she is here to feel better about herself. Savior complex.

I am getting quite resentful and agitated. These are months of my life I will never get back. I found myself counting how many months, weeks and days I have to endure her. I almost want to run away from my own house. I am done asking her to leave as she has decided how long she is staying despite my wishes. My sibling keeps telling me to make “the most out of it”. She thinks she’s such a good mother. Sacrificing her freedom and good life to be with me.

Am I wrong? Am I ungrateful? How should I handle this?

Every night, I can be found at pubs and dius, drinking away my time and life.

I have no real friends, so I am stuck with my bad company friends instead. They’re not the greatest people, but they’re all I have.

I used to have real friends, but they all left me behind. I guess I am not the most likable person. I spend too much time in bars and not enough time making real connections or keeping people that are close to me close.

I am not sure why I can’t seem to make friends or keep them, but I am tired of being alone.

My bad company friends are not the best influence on me. I can feel myself slowly slipping down a dark path. I drink more and more every night, and I’m not doing anything to stop it.

I can feel my life slowly slipping away from me, and I know it’s because of the bad company I’m keeping.

They encourage me to drink more, and they laugh at me when I make a fool of myself. I don’t know why I keep going back to them, but I can’t seem to stay away.

I need someone to show me that there is a better way. I need someone to be there for me and show me that I can do better.

I know that if I don’t make a change soon, I will end up in a very bad place. I can’t keep living like this. I have to make a change, but I don’t know how.

I am so lost and lonely, and I just want to be happy.

Unfortunately, my bad company friends don’t care about me. They just want me to keep drinking with them and partying until the sun comes up.

I can’t keep living like this, but I don’t know how to get out.

I’m stuck in this endless cycle of drinking and misery, and I don’t know how to break it.

I know that I will eventually hit rock bottom if I keep going down this path. I just hope that I can find a way out before it’s too late.

I am so lonely and scared, and I just want someone to show me that there is hope.

Sadly, I don’t think that will ever happen.

I just started work at a new place 6 months ago at a government agency. I was asked to work on a new one-year project. 6 months in and there has been ZERO progress, not because I haven’t been doing anything but because management keeps changing direction. I can work on a deck of slides with over 10 versions, but I never ever get to present it to my Group Head because the direction of the project keeps changing and the slides become useless. This has happened more times than I can count.

The team is very lean, with just me, my RO (supervisor), and his RO, working on this project. My HOD is another flip flopper, with no backbone. He doesn’t fight for our ideas, but just floats around in whatever direction his boss pulls him in (which is why I work on different version of slides all day long).

I’m very frustrated everyday as my work has zero impact, zero meaning, and I’m just editing slides to the whims and fancy of management. I have been actively applying elsewhere and have an interview lined up this week.

I know I’m jumping the gun, but I’ve been thinking if I would look bad if I resigned halfway through the project, knowing that the team is already quite stretched? (Stretched not because we’re busy doing productive work, but because management always flip flops…) My RO has been swamped with taking on other people’s work cos we have had so many resignations (I have seen 5 people resign in my 6 months here, mostly because the HOD is a grade A asshole work-wise, but that’s a different story 🚩).

For my mental health, I really need to leave, but I feel bad for my RO… Crowd sourcing reality checks and words of wisdom please…

ETA: I suppose what is also pushing me out the door is the toxic work culture. Won’t go into details but some of the horror stories I’ve heard and witnessed in 6 months really scares me (e.g., asking a pregnant woman what she could contribute to the department when she’s away on maternity).

Just want to rant here hahaa

Gg to grad soon, and my mum is like faster go find job, any job just take. I recently declined a super lowball 2.5k job, and she has been nagging at me ever since, totally regret telling her.

Her perspective is like, lowball or what, she doesnt unds, hv money go work, people looking for jobs shld get any job they can. Then I ask her, so you want me to be depressed and low pay? Then my mum said, still got pay what, how difficult can the work be, isn’t it just typing (tech job btw), dont think too much wont be depressed, interview say OT and weekend work just scaring ppl, wont happen one.

She has only worked pt jobs w low qualifications so she dont unds me, like at all. And she die die dont believe me when I said OT work no extra pay, she kept insisting that OT work is good cos got extra money.

Everyday is like this. “Pay ok what, any pay just say yes la, there is no pay that is low, the companies know what to pay you, dont big mouth. Work tiring meh? Sit down get fat only, move fingers. Unhappy resign also ok what, got money”. Wha she so money minded I really cannot than.

Everything is money money money, not like we living in rental flat or damn poor.

Ok I really dont unds her and it’s not like I’m shaking my legs at home or not paying my part of the bills, she keeps nagging me to find any job, like literally 2k also ok range to her.

How to get through to her idk. Other parents hv high expectations of their kids, then there’s mine, 2.5k is very good for a degree holder, on the other extreme end.

I give up alrdy, just job search in silence.

telling my boyfriend I’ll shave my legs if he shaves his?

I know this post sounds super petty, but this is the most ridiculous fight I’ve had with my boyfriend, and unfortunately it’s where we’re at.

I [F28] have never shaved in my life. I think it’s up to the person regardless, but I’ve also just never really had a lot of hair.

My boyfriend recently stayed over and asked to borrow a razor. Since I don’t shave, I didn’t have one on hand, and apparently that grossed him out.

He told me that it was unhygienic to not shave and that it traps a lot of dirt inside and we argued back and forth about the issue when I finally told him that I’d only start shaving my legs if he shaved his first.

He called me immature and petty, whereas I think he’s being super fixated on this weird thing.

It honestly wouldn’t really bother me to shave, but I’m just more irked at his statements where he basically called me dirty. I was serious though: I’ll shave whenever he shaves too.

We’re at an impasse but I wonder if I am being a little too petty about the whole thing.