At primary 4. I had to start helping out my mother at the hawker centre. Age the age of 15, parents divorced and I had to start working part time after my O levels. I supported myself thru part time job, juggled between PT and poly school days, paid for my own daily expenses, school fees and etc.
I met my boyfriend when I was 18 and we got married when I was 24. My husband was very nice to my mother, seen thru gifts (here and there, not in cash). Egg tarts, snacks, fruits, and anything else he buys for his mum, he will buy 1 for my mum.
At the age of 26, I gave birth to a baby girl. Since then we spent lesser than sending “snacks / small gifts” to my mother. Of course, occasions like birthday, mothers day, we still bring her out for a meal. My mother don’t celebrate Xmas when I was young as I never receive Xmas pressie from her. Somehow as we age, my mum has expectations on this. For CNY, she expects gifts, money to buy CNY goodies, money to bao angbao and money from AWS received in Dec. (PS: my company don’t practice AWS so I hv none).
My elder sister recently got married and my new brother-in-law shows no respect for our family at all. BUT, since his family is rich and he often gives my mother money (probably $50 or $100 each time they meet, erm 2-3 times a week), my mother grew to like him despite him being disrespectful to our family. (Actions like pulling a black face every time we meet, demanding us to crawl and avoid his webex when he is having video call while working from home, treat me and my husband transparent, pulled black face and walked away when asked to take family photo together and etc).
I feel tired reaching out to my mum now. It seems like money is the solver for everything and I cannot afford to fill up her pocket with it, my husband and i are consideded as unfilial.
I cannot understand why my mum doesn’t understands that I have my own financial burden as well when she herself has been thru thru the path? Though I’m seen with having a BTO flat, car, helper, 2 kids, everything costs me money! Every month I give her $300 allowance and she is still asking for more.
Some people told me my mum probably is just lonely. But honestly, when my husband and I bought her “snacks” like the old days, she doesn’t appreciates anymore. She will find it as “cheap food”. She prefers to eat atas food where she can take photo upload on Facebook to show off to her friends. CNY we bought her goodies, she doesn’t even take a glance at it.
My husband tells me to just ignore her, there’s nothing we can do when she is just looking at more money = the more filial you are. As much as I told him “ya I don’t care alr la”, deep down in my heart I’m pretty affected by it. I cannot just pretend that I’m OK…
A tourist who purportedly visited a library in Singapore recently, wrote a complaint to the National Library Board (NLB), complaining about the types of plugs that we use and the procedure of booking tables.
He said that he wanted to book a table at the VivoCity library but found out that he needed a Singpass in order to do so.
He then added that the charging station only allows a certain type of plug that was different from his device’s plug, and surmised that the public library was not welcoming for use by foreigners.
Here is his complaint in full
To be able to book a table at the VivoCity library, you need Singpass or NRIC/FIN.
As a visitor, the library is a great resource that allows non-locals to plan their trip, or read up on local culture.
The charging station also only allows a certain type of plug. The public library seems like it is not welcoming for use by foreigners.
Please improve library facilities so that visitors to your lovely country can enjoy them.
NLB’s response
Thank you for your email.
The Seat Booking System in our libraries helps in the self-management of seats and enables fairer use of seats at our libraries.
You may consider other seats such as sofas or lounge-type seating that can be used without booking and it will be subject to availability.
The powerpoints in our libraries are meant for operational use such as general maintenance works and the setup of exhibitions. Patrons are also encouraged to fully charge their devices prior to visiting the library.
Regards
Netizens’ comments
Why tourists no bring adapter? First time tourist?
Library is already paid for by taxpayers like you and me. It’s free for tourists. They still want to chope seats and use electricity for charging? What next? Massage and 3-course meal?
Who the hell go library to READ A BOOK as tourist? Most people go to fancy library just to take ig-worthy picture tbh.
my(21F) boyfriend(22M) getting upset for me paying for lunch?
Hi guys, for some context, my bf and i have been together for about 1 year now.
hes the type of person that always wants to pay for food whenever we go out to eat. He said it makes him feel like a man and that be could provide for me.
time to time he’ll let me buy icecreams and smaller orders as such.
Recently though i know he’s been struggling with money and work is slow. Because of that he hasn’t been initiating going out because i feel like be thinks we have to spend money if we do.
We decided to get burgers for lunch and as it came time to pay i quickly used my card to pay for the meal.
He made a face and caught an attitude. I immediately saw the change and behaviour and thought “ yeah i messed up”
i thought it was a sweet thing to do not only bc he’s struggling but because i wanted to.
we sat down and he stares at me and says” don’t ever embarrass me like that again” that was humiliating and embarrassing.
maybe im a girl and i just dont understand so maybe im overthinking it. ive been in a terrible relationship in the past so i dont wanna overlook anything.
Hello. I just got to 30 and it really just dawned on me that I am very ugly. I never thought that I was attractive, but I thought I would be at least average.
After my breakup with a long term relationship a few years ago, I’ve decided to go to the gym and shape up. It has been a year now and I’m improving, I just need to lose the stubborn belly fat with a strict diet.
It’s my head that’s the problem. I am balding despite being young and my forehead is on the wider side. I kind of look like Megamind with my weak jaw large head. I also have large eyes and perpetual dark circles around them (I look like a raccoon or a Tim Burton Cartoon).
I can’t help comparing myself with other men who either looked normal enough or absolutely gorgeous. It seems some people around me are looking like models and kpop idols while I look like… me. I’m also a bit short, which makes the size of my head comical. I’m trying to bulk a bit so it would not be as noticeable but my baldness is making it difficult. I think I kind of look like a pug.
I have been in two dates in the past three years, and both girls ghosted me after. One of them was a friend from work (although we don’t work together in the same building or compound or see each other often), but she now actively avoids me on the rare times we meet.
A mutual friend told me that she does not like me and I should not bother her anymore (which I don’t), the mutual friend also told me she is planning to set the girl up with someone she knows.
The mutual friend also told me she was surprised the girl even went with me for that first date. So both of those interactions just made me feel that I was absolutely beneath them, which annoyed me at first but later made me realize that she was really out of my league.
I just feel like I am just too ugly to find someone. Besides my physical appearance, I’m also not that good a catch in other matters.
I have a good paying job but I am not rich. I also talk a lot, which my ex tells me is an unattractive quality for a man. I am also very knowledgeable on a lot of topics but I am not at all intelligent.
I also kind of suspect I have ADD or ADHD because of my quirks like spacing out, hyper focusing on random things, restlessness, inattentiveness, and forgetfulness, but people just find me annoying.
I really just want to vent this out since I feel so lost and honestly just tired of it all. I posted on offmychest before and some people just told me I was being a creep. I don’t really have friends that I could share this with
Alrighty, I know I’m not the first one to fall in love with married boss… But god damn this is giving me a hard time.
He’s married with a small daughter, chronically unhappy up to the point he rather doesn’t go home for several days in row, his wife resents him for pretty weird reasons and literally everyone around agrees that divorce would be the healthy option for all, and especially the kid. He loves his kid, he talks rather well about his wife, but he admits things suck long-term. She is definitely holding on for the (financial) comfort and most likely because she doesn’t know anything else (she has incredibly limited life experience). The divorce would be brutal due to financial ties and kid of course.
I’m not married but in 8 years of very up and down relationship that lacks any intimacy, have recently learned what the term “gaslighting” means and realised how bloody foolish I have been the whole time. Trying not to beat myself up over it and silently planning possible exit strategy that I’d like to execute in next half a year, unless something changes drastically and very fast.
We have spent hundreds of hours working together, side by side, in high stress environment and I went through it all. The attraction, the hardly controllable lust, the denial from my side, the first deepening of feelings, the flirt, the heavy flirt, denial and complete distancing for 2 months from his side (in obvious and failed attempt to work on his marriage – I totally pulled back and left him to it), the slow “hey, I miss talking to you”, the explosion of want and need… And finally the realisation that after a year of this shitty ping-pong I’m just… In love.
I’m a bit socially awkward and totally struggle to judge into what level are my feelings reciprocated, but I do know I mean something to him for sure. I know he cares, I know he enjoys talking to me, I know he likes to work with me, I know he’s flirting… But he’s very hot and cold and that keeps me very unsure.
I’d like to ask the readers how should I proceed, although I know very well that the most realistic, adult and responsible solution is just to quit, forget and focus on something… Realistic. Right? Right. I’m not ready to do that. It’s probably the potential I see. I never thought I’d meet someone who could be my missing part of Power couple. We could be fantastic together! Could be…
Now the time came we won’t see each other for a month due to our holiday and today I was so, so ready to cheekily ask him out for drinks… But it was obvious that something happened at home as he was showing behaviours typical to when shit goes south with his wife. And I just couldn’t bring myself to do it for the feeling I would put even more stress on him.
Well. I know that when there is something to say, silence is a lie. But have no clue how to play this one.
Oh and btw if some would be concerned about the impact on my career it could have in case things would go wrong – I really can’t care less for quite few reasons. This is not valid here.
Thanks for reading and please, give me a piece of your mind, I’m desperate for different outlook.
Ok so im 19 and im still in studying and living with my parents. Last weekend I decided to watch a movie with my friends.
After I watched the movie my parents were upset because I didnt tell them that I was going out. So I initially thought that it was kind of nice of them to worry but at the same time I was wondering why because Im already 19.
Thats when my parents told me that they were concerned for my security and that they wanted me to stay home and study because I was their investment and that they technically ‘own’ me.
I didnt realize that they see me as an object rather than a person this entire time.
At that moment it kind of clicked to me that the reason why they’ve always been so strict with my grades like asking me every single time I come home what my score was on a quiz, but never asking me how my day was was because I was their retirement plan.
They’ve also added CCTVs around the house so they could see what I was doing.
I know I come from a privileged background since they provided me with food, shelter and all that stuff and I dont want this to come off as self pity because other people definitely have it worse than me.
But at the same time the idea of my parents implying that im just an object to them and that they want something back from me straight to my face just wont get out of my head.
It makes me think that every time they’ve said something nice to me, or all the gifts theyve given me on my birthday weren’t from the kindness of their own hearts or that they loved me.
As a female Grab driver, I get a lot of tips from my passengers. It has nothing to do with my driving skills, rather, it has everything to do with the fact that I’m young, pretty and attractive.
You see, I’m one of the few female grab drivers out there and the difference between me and the other female Grab drivers is that most of them are ‘older’ while I am still young, in my early 30s and also still good looking.
I’m sure many people have heard of the stereotype that female drivers are not as good as their male counterparts.
In the past, even I had the same belief. I was a bit hesitant to become a Grab driver myself, thinking that I wouldn’t be able to measure up. But I decided to give it a try, and it turns out that I’m actually quite a good driver!
I get tipped very frequently
I get a lot of tips from my passengers. Why? It is probably because they find it refreshing to see a pretty female Grab driver, which is a rarity.
It’s a pleasant surprise for them because every time someone books Grab, they would be expecting a male or even if it is female, it would be some aunty.
I also find that my Grab passengers tend to be more understanding and tolerant when it comes to traffic problems.
I heard of other Grab drivers complaining before that they get into arguments with their passengers sometimes because of which route to take etc but this has never happened to me, even if I accidentally took a wrong turn which prolonged the journey.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a woman or because I’m pretty and attractive, but I like to think it’s the former.
There’s no denying that I’m a minority in the profession but it does not matter as who can complain about getting extra tips?
Driving Grab as a female is not always a bed of roses
Of course, being a female Grab driver doesn’t just have its perks. I’m often subjected to catcalling and other uncomfortable comments, which can make the job unpleasant at times.
However, I’m grateful that most of my Grab passengers are respectful and understanding.
Whatever it is, I am not complaining about my job as a Grab driver and the frequent tipping that I get due to the reason that I am pretty.
How much allowance is reasonable to give a father who has not financially contributed to the family?
Hello, I was hoping to get some advice in regards to a situation. Admin please consider publishing this!
I have been married for 5-6 years, and we have no major issues in our marriage. We are both in our early thirties and we work in a field where most people would think pays a lot. In reality, I would say that we are just middle income earners. For some context, we are Singaporeans, but have been living and working overseas for many years now. We have a house and no children yet. I think financially we were doing alright. However, last year, my husband quit his job due to burnout and worked on a casual basis. This meant that our finances did suffer a bit of a hit. As I was getting a stable income and approaching a guaranteed “promotion” soon, I gave him my blessings. I still contributed religiously to our mortgage income without asking him to, and paid for most of the household expenses.
However, I found out that my husband was still giving a lump sum of money to his father during his (my husband’s) year of unemployment. For background, my mother-in-law was the sole breadwinner for many years. My husband’s version of story was that his mother wanted his father to work for her. But I think the truth is that my father-in-law got retrenched and couldn’t/wouldn’t find another job. My MIL probably asked him to work for her as she didn’t want him to stay at home and do nothing (fair enough). But sadly, my in laws divorced a few years back. My MIL kept everything, which made sense since she was the one paying for everything for everything. Since then, my FIL has been sorta destitute and had to move back to his family’s home and work in rideshare etc.
Upon finding out that my husband was still giving his father a lump sum of money on a monthly basis while he was unemployed and relying on me to pay most of our big bills, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit resentful and irritated. Honestly, our field of work is highly stressful (hence my husband suffered burnout) and I felt that it wasn’t fair to me. I brought it up with my husband and fights ensued. He then agreed to reduce the amount.
On one hand, I feel a bit guilty because FIL is elderly and has limited means to support himself. Also, I have decent income so technically I SHOULD help out, even if indirectly. But on the other hand, he has no biological ties to me. Additionally, I have no idea where went wrong with FIL career-wise, because FIL seemed to have a good education (he went overseas to study at university, which at his time was a big deal). I feel that he has no one to blame for his position but himself. Of course, I rather my husband keeps his money for us, as we are thinking of starting a family soon.
My question is – how much is a reasonable amount to give an elderly person to survive in Singapore if we were to just give out of obligation (on a monthly basis)?
Another attacker who was part of a group that attacked a stranger at Clarke Quay, has pleaded to his crimes that were committed a mere 18 days after he was released on a supervision order for drug offences.
20-year-old Taitus Wong Wei Zhi was previously sent to the Drug Rehabilitation Centre (DRC) for the consumption of methamphetamine, before reoffending and ordered to go through informative training two years later.
He was released under a supervision order on 2 March 2022, and was required to stay out of trouble until 15 November 2024, which he failed to adhere to.
He ganged up on 30-year-old Justin Chua Yong Jie and attacked him with his friends near Clarke Quay on 20 March 2022, smashing a glass bottle on his head repeatedly, because his friend thought the victim was staring at hime.
Wong pleaded guilty earlier today (1 February) to one count of assault and one count of consuming methamphetamine.
His accomplice in the assault, Dani Zulastri Mohamad Salim, was sentenced yesterday to 8 months and 3 weeks imprisonment.
The case involving the third accomplice, 23-year-old Mohamad Amirul Shafi Abdullah, is currently still pending; while a fourth man who was present during the attack, 20-year-old Noor Shah Ryzwa Azman, was given a discharge not amounting to an acquittal back in August.
Context
The group of guys were drinking at Circular Road on 20 March 2022 at about 7pm when Amirul showed Dani the knife that he had in his possession.
Dani Zulastri Mohamad Salim, Taitus Wong Wei Zhi and Mohamad Amirul Shafi Abdullah were drinking alcohol on 20 March 2022 at about 7pm at The Mask Restaurant and Bar along Circular Road.
Another Noor Shah Ryzqa Azman was also with the trio at the time, and they shared a bottle of whiskey before leaving the bar at about 10.30pm.
Wong was carrying the bottle of whiskey with him and drinking from it as they walked around the area, and the four drunk men then ended up near the Riverside Point mall along Merchant Road.
They wanted to buy cigarettes and asked a security guard for directions to a nearby 7-Eleven.
The victim was with his friends nearby drinking at a bar before he left and went to the 7-Eleven by himself, crossing paths with Amirul.
Amirul thought Chua was staring at him and attacked him from behind with Wong, who smashed the whiskey bottle on Chua’s head, resulting in him losing a patch of his hair,
They also rained punches on Chua, who had fallen onto the ground by this point, and Dani Zulastri then ran towards them and joined in the assault after hearing the commotion, kicking Chua.
Ryzwa was watching the attack from afar, before fleeing from the crime scene with the trio, running towards the State Courts.
After fleeing, Amirul called Wong and told him that during the attack, he used a karambit knife and slashed the victim three times.
Chua then went back to the bar while he was bleeding to seek help from his friends, and an ambulance was then called.
He was conveyed to the Singapore General Hospital with cuts to his scalp, diagnosed with post-concussion syndrome and given 17 days of medical leave.
Wong was arrested on 29 March 2022 and a sample of his urine was found to have traces of methamphetamine.
