What should I do if I suspect my lead is a taking weird photos

I (Female 30s) joined my company less than a year. The team only consist of team lead (Married Male 50s) and an executive Z (Single Female 30s). They have a very close working relationship with another colleague Y (also Female 30s) from another department. All 3 of them have been with the company for 8-13 years and lunch together whenever they are in office.

In the recent months, I began noticing that TL’s phone would occasionally be position at weird angles directed at Z. I have a suspicion like he was capturing all the zao geng – downblouse, armhole area when she wears sleeveless and legs if she wore a dress. Z once wore shorts to a company sports event and the moment she sat down (crossed legged), I saw the weirdly angled phone again directed at her legs.

Work wise everything seems professional.

Recently during townhall, I happen to be behind TL and actually saw him sneaking photos of Z (the phone screen) before he moved away. The one I saw in action was a half body shot of Z tieing her hair up while chatting with other colleagues.

Now, I don’t know what I should do.

I can’t exactly confirm that there are indecent shots but TL’s action is kinda creepy to me. Should i tell them? But I don’t have evidence to show Z and I’m not that close enough to confide in Y especially since the 3 of them have worked together for so long.

There’s no local physical HR as well (+ no evidence).

Any advice please?

Accidently slept with coworkers daughter

I (38m) work with this guy (55m) and he and I both employ the use of escorts from time to time. We’ve even shared a few lobangs between us.

One day I meet this girl (early 30s F) and we end up sleeping together.

Later on in the week my coworker was upset. I asked him why and he says that he found his daughter on one of the escort sites.

I say the usual, I’m sorry to hear that.

We’re friends on Facebook. He makes a lengthy post about his daughter and posts a picture of her and it’s the same girl I was with earlier that week.

I feel like I need to tell him but I know we probably won’t be friends anymore.

Netizens’ comments

• Has no one on FB asked him how he found his daughter on an escort site?
• You don’t need to tell him. It’s none of his business. She’s a grown consenting adult. Don’t reduce her to less than someone making her own decisions.
• You might lose him as a friend, but, like, that’s his own fault? Like, you didn’t do it intentionally. You only got there via his recommendation. This sounds like the classic “I didn’t realize the panthers would eat my face!” says the member of face eating panther party.
• So it’s ok for him to screw escorts but it’s all woe is me when he finds out his daughter is doing exactly what the women he pays are. Then he outs her on social media?! Seriously?? What a two faced POS. Not the sort of person I’d want to be mates with but whatever floats your boat
• You have no good reason for telling him that you slept with his daughter. Do not tell him unless you plan to be in a relationship with his daughter.
• You guys are hypocrites. You gladly use the service. But your world collapses, if it is a woman you are close to. And your friend is also an AH. Shaming his daughter for a job he gladly pays for. Think about, if the friendship is really worth it. I have no problem with you using escort services as long as they are legal. You spent your money the way you want. But you shouldn’t judge.

How would you retire with $2 million cash?

Friend has $2m in cash after gambling $10,000 into s–tcoins in 2021 and cashing out in 2022.

I’ve always wondered is it possible to retire with $2m cash today and what is the best way to do it?

I’m thinking:

Put $2m into something that gives 10% returns per year. About $200k passive income per year. Do such things exists and can they payout monthly?

Use that $200K/year to pay for an apartment’s mortgage though I’m not sure where to find money for the 25% cash downpayment assuming it is a condo

Use whatever is left to travel the world and for living expenses.

Essentially, is it realistic to passively receive about $20K every month with $2m in cash right now?

Netizens’ comments

• Where got 10% passive income? Dreaming lah. If there is, everybody would already be putting all their spare cash in it.
• you know if you put it in a 4% fd, thats 80k a year? many ppl dont even earn that in a year.
• Whack it all into dbs shares la
  Every year 4- 5% dividend which is about 100k
  30 yrs later sell maybe got 3m or more
• You pay for the downpayment with the $2 million.
  Basically, the basic financial planning fundamentals apply here (and this applies to most of us)

1. What are your goals? List them out in concise, and tangible manner. The clearer you are the easier for you
2. Rank the goals you listed in #1 in order of priority. Those with highest priority, are those goals you need to be most if not almost certain. Those at the bottom are those you are ok if you don’t reach it.
3. For the goals in #1, with the degree of certainty in #2, work out how much you need to fund the goals. Each kind of goals have different attributes, and what you put in them, and how is also different for example, if marriage ranks very highly, and it is within 2 years, you need to set aside $10k for ring, $40k for banquet. Retirement is medium in certainty at this point, and it is 20 years away and you are ok to work, but how much do you need if you plan to retire 20 years later? it depends on how long your money need to last, and the retirement income strategy. It could cost more or less.
4. Take that $2 mil, and try to fund each of the goals in #1 based on the priority in #2.

I will give an example. For most, their life is made up of small goals that they need to fund in the next 10 years, and also an income stream for their FI, as well as a dwelling.

You have to rank in term of importance. USually it works out that those small goals have higher priority especially if its tied together with a partner, but lets say you entertainment me that to you financial security is more important. follow by a dwelling, then getting married.

So what you need to work out is… how much do you need to generate an income for financial security? bear in mind, this goal is highest and a lot will go to fund it because you want great certainty, but there are other goals coming after this that needs funding.

You have to think about how much income you need, which is a function of what is the lifestyle, both realistic and aspirational. Is it $2k a month, $5k a month, or $10k a month? That means an annual income difference of $24k, 60k or $120k.

Depending on how certain you wish your income stream to be, you might need to buffer for unlucky economic scenarios. A 10% returns a year, as you said, may be a base or lucky economic scenario. But would you wish to be more conservative by setting aside something safer?

IF this is a once in a lifetime money and you wish to be safer, maybe use a 3% or lower initial withdrawal rate. Google up “Safe withdrawal rate studies” to understand that more.

If it is 3%, that means you need to set aside, $24k/0.03 = $800k, $60k/0.03 = $2 mil or $120k/0.03 = $4 mil.

As you can see… if your income needs is $5k a month, it will eat up that $2 mil, leaving nothing for your other goals.

depending on the size of your goals $2 mil might not be that much.

Returns are usually not uniform. You don’t get $200k, $200k, $200k, $200k. To get 10% which is a high return, it usually involves higher risk or volatility, so do expect years where returns are -$400,000. How would you spend if the portfolio is down $400k? It may need more thinking.

I have to admit that I used to think that I was rich because I could afford to order fish in my cai fan meal.

In my mind, I was living in luxury simply because I could afford a few more dollars for my meal.

The truth is, I was wrong. Being able to buy an extra item in an economic meal does not mean I’m rich.

It only means that I have a little extra money to spare. In the grand scheme of things, it does not make a huge difference to my financial security.

I recently realized that being able to afford fish in a cai fan meal does not necessarily mean that I’m wealthy.

It only means that I can afford to pay a little bit more for a particular item. It may be a luxury, but it’s not a sign of true wealth.

True wealth comes from having a steady income, a good job, and a solid financial plan.

It comes from making wise financial decisions and having the ability to invest in assets that will give you a return.

It comes from having a secure retirement plan and the ability to create a legacy for future generations.

The truth is, I may be able to afford to order fish in my cai fan meal, but that does not make me rich.

I still need to make sure that I’m making the right financial decisions and investing my money wisely so that I can build true wealth.

I now understand that being able to purchase an extra item in an economic meal does not make me wealthy.

Sure, it’s a luxury, but it’s not a sign of true wealth.

True wealth comes from understanding the importance of financial planning and making wise investments.

It’s something that I need to focus on if I’m serious about building true wealth.

My coworkers are effin gross

So this morning, despite my best efforts, I had to do the deed at work.

As I’m sitting there, trying to time my plops in between hearing people entering and exiting the bathroom, I realized that almost none of them actually washed their hands.

5 people came and went, and only one actually “washed” his hands including the guy that washed his hands, then took a leak and walked out.

On Monday, I think I’ll be putting an impressively passive-aggressive note in the bathroom and hopefully shame some people into better hygiene.

Netizens’ comments

• There was a lady who would turn the sink on so you’d think she’s washing her hands, but no, she was just running the water and leaving. I can’t believe people don’t wash their hands after what we all collectively just went through the last few years.
  • Why would anyone take the effort of turning the sink on and pretending to wash their hands?!?!??!???? In that same time you could have actually washed your hands!!!!!
• Duuude, saw a new coworker that was working in a bakery not wash her hands after getting out of the stall and I reported it immediately. Thats disgusting and theres no excuse for not washing you hands even if you didnt actually go. Its even in the training.
• At my job if someone goes to the toilet and doesn’t wash their hands and it is witnessed by another that person will then tell everyone else they are not a hand washer. There is this one female dr that never does. It’s so gross.

It all started in secondary school. I was the typical, shy teenager who was too scared to talk to girls.

My friends and I would joke about it, but deep down I felt embarrassed and ashamed of my inability to start a conversation with someone I was attracted to.

Fast forward to today, I’m 25 years old and still single. The years have gone by, and I still haven’t found a partner.

I tried online dating, but it didn’t work out. I tried joining clubs, but nothing ever came of it. I was starting to get desperate, so I decided to try something else.

I started hitting on teenage girls, eight to ten years younger than me.

At first, I thought it was harmless. I figured if I couldn’t find someone my age, I might as well try something different.

I would go places where there were lots of teenagers. I would approach them and start a conversation, and then try to take things further.

At first, I was getting away with it. I was able to get numbers, dates, and even a few make-out sessions.

But eventually, people started to catch on. People around me started talking about me, and said that I was preying on their gullibility.

That was a wake-up call for me. I realized that what I was doing was wrong, and that I shouldn’t be preying on teenage girls.

I felt ashamed and embarrassed for what I had done, and I vowed never to do it again.

But that experience has left me with a deep sense of regret. I still haven’t found someone my age, and I feel like I’m running out of time.

I still haven’t been able to get over my fear of talking to women, and I’m not sure what to do.

All I know is that I need to do something, and quick of not I might be forever alone.

Is this fixable? 34m partner of 6 years has tantrums.

I don’t like to talk bad at my partner to friends or family so I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. I also just never find that friend or family advice is objective.

My husband of 3 years and partner of almost 6 goes right to anger very often. He is not violent to me. He will punch things sometimes, often hits himself hard in the head with his fists/hands. He’s broken his own glasses on his face.

I can tell him to do something benign and he gets so irritated if he doesn’t want to do it that he clenches his fists, looks like he has extreme tension in his body, grunts and stomps around.

I wish it didn’t affect me. I try to tell him to have a more mature response. I don’t know what to do. But I’m drained and exhausted by it. I want to laugh, smile, enjoy my life.

He’s so grumpy, and it’s the moment he gets home from work, moment he wakes up. It feels like he comes at everything with a bad energy for the last few years.

If I express any negative emotion he EXPLODES on me. Yells at me instantly. I don’t know what to do.

Please feel free to ask more questions I don’t know how to summarize this very well.

Side note: I’m not perfect. But I do try my best to think of ways to help. When I hug him if he’s really grumpy it often helps but sometimes I don’t feel comfortable doing that. Depending what he’s done or said.