How do you move on from someone you cannot be with?

Everything started at its peak but slowly came crashing down, causing both of us emotional stress, pain, and unhappiness.

I believe we truly have each other interests at heart and want each other to do well and thrive in life.

But with time, as we learned more about our priorities, lifestyle, belief, etc., we soon realized we weren’t compatible.

The feelings were intense, and it was hard to let go, but we are at a phase where there is too much pain to bear, and we can no longer take on the supporting role of helping each other to achieve greater heights or be the pillar for the person. At times, I could feel strong resentment, anger, and sadness toward me, which hurt me a lot.

I know it is not right of me to hold the person back, and hence I am trying my best to let go. I have been told that I am exhibiting many toxic traits, and that made me wonder why every time a disagreement happens, I am the one to put to blame. I tried my best to manage my emotion in every heated argument, and all I ever wanted was for my partner to be happy, and that is all I really wanted. For people that I care about, that matter, for them to be happy.

I am sorry this sounded negative. I really just needed a channel to let my feelings out. If you have read until here, thanks for listening, and I wish everyone a happy new year.

Here are what netizens think:

• The moment the person doesn’t wanan be with u, like it or not, u have to move on. I dunno how to move on from someone U love cos it’s super hard, but just fill ur life with other activities and remind urself life is more than just love. Love is a small component

• If ur partner calls u toxic, he/she maybe the same or worse. Just trying to make u feel guilty about it. The more u think about how this person makes u unhappy, the more u will slowly let go. No point trying to make the person happy if he/she is unhappy 24/7 & wants u to be unhappy too. Close this chapter for good and open a new chapter for a better life.

• Never allow you to believe that you are the sole toxic person and the only reason the relationship failed. Good to reflect back but it takes two to clap,

Is it okay for a mother to enforce curfews on her sons when they’re grown up?

I am a 24M in university, and I still get called up at pre-midnight hours by my mother to get back home asap.

I do like to enjoy my time with friends and s/o and that sometimes exceeds certain hours of the day. Usually the easiest solution is to ignore or appease, but the same issue keeps popping up over the years.

It sucks when your friends and s/o overhear my conversations with my mum, and to know I as an adult still get given a curfew. As far as I know, my older sibling got the same treatment as well, and the way he handled it was by ignoring all the nagging and reprimanding.

I really dislike conflicting with my mother as it gets more tiresome (she can keep rambling on and on, sometimes leaving for 2-3min and coming back/calling on the phone multiple times after she thought about what else to nag about). She claims it’s because I have work/school/etc reasons and need to be alert throughout the day (which I’ve never demonstrated my incapability for).

Honestly, the best solution was to stay in student housing, but that isn’t applicable all of the time (and won’t be after I graduate).

What should I do? Is this parenting gone too far, or am I just being a brat?

Here are what netizens think:

• I was like you once, when i was in my 20s. my mom would always call nearing midnight, even when i get to 30+ she’ll still call to check in on me any time I get home late. She does it for both me and my elder sis who’s wayyyy older.

• Tsk tsk… Your mum probably gave up ALL her nights out with friends (and sleep) after she had you… Just so that she could feed you, put you to bed, change your diaper, check your temp when you had a fever and make sure you were growing up well.

• Living under mother’s roof, must follow her rules. Want your own lifestyle, move out.

ok I may get bashed for being picky for my job hunting, but to be honest im not really in a rush and not blaming anything, but the job market is kind of bad right now, at least to me

so i just graduated and looking for a job now, didnt start early due to health issues.

My pay expectations are negotiable, as long as it corresponds to the job scope.

So I have been applying to some tech jobs and also received some calls from agents. They ask me about expected salary, I asked for 4k (can nego), they said that it was too much and offered me 3 to 3.5k, alright, the job scope looks long but I’m ok to try for interviews.

Then interviews came, tell me sometimes ot til night, maybe weekends need to come, but team very tight knit and good manager. Mind you, I was applying to MNCs and gov jobs, didnt expect sme treatment (ok I’m naive).

And this job is not those support/critical roles that req shift hours in the first place.

So am I applying to the wrong jobs, just bad luck, or is the work situation this bad? 3k and want me to work ot, i think the hourly rate maybe less than pt job. Is the possible ‘career path’ worth it? Shld I just take it that this is the norm and I’m expecting too much?

I’m fine w lower paid jobs if the job scope is reasonable, but to expect ot and possible work on weekends w a pay of 3k, to me is not worth it.

Yes I’m moving on and finding other jobs, but would like some thoughts on whther I’m too picky and shld suck it up w the pay and long job scope w possible ot.

Or since market is not gd rn, shld just accept any job and hope for the promised increment?

Thanks in advance, I’m mentally prepared for negative comments lol

As a child, I had been taught to always wish people a “Happy Chinese New Year” whenever I met them.

So when I visited my distant relatives, I said, “Gong Xi Fa Cai” and added a ‘Hong Bao Na Lai’ as a joke without thinking twice.

Little did I know that I had made a grave mistake. My parents’ faces immediately turned sour and I felt a sharp slap across my face.

I was shocked and confused. I didn’t understand why my parents had reacted this way.

It was only after the shock subsided that I realized that they did not seemed to pleased with me ‘demanding’ for an ang bao in my greeting.

My parents had been so angry that they had slapped me. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I had let my parents down and I felt like I had failed them. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to run away and hide.

But instead, I chose to stay and face the consequences. I apologized to my distant relatives and my parents and expressed my regret for my mistake.

I had learned a valuable lesson that day – that words can be powerful and that one must always choose them carefully.

I was also reminded of the importance of respecting my elders, no matter what the situation.

It was a lesson that I would never forget. I was fortunate that my mistake had only resulted in a slap across the face.

Others were not so lucky, as they sometimes faced much worse punishments for saying the wrong thing.

But I was determined to never make the same mistake again. I made sure to always use the correct greeting for Chinese New Year and to always be mindful of my words.

Unfortunately, the experience of getting slapped by my parents still haunts me to this day. I will never forget the embarrassment and shame that I felt that day, and I will never forget the importance of choosing my words carefully.

I had been a manager at a pub in Chinatown for nearly five years, and I had enjoyed my time there.

I worked hard and earned a lot of respect from the regulars who came in every night.

My job also required me to do a bit of PR and with PR there tends to be a little flirting in my words.

All was well and fine, the patrons seem to like the way I spoke and I was also just doing my job.

But recently, things had started to change.

Over the past few months, there were a few boyfriends of these patrons who came over to the pub.

They would come and look for me, get too rowdy, and generally cause a disruption.

Apparently some of these female patrons had taken an interest in me, and kept wanting to come back to look for me and did not bother about their bfs at all.

As a result, some of them got jealous and wanted to settle the score with me.

It was getting to the point where I was starting to dread going to work each night.

I was constantly on edge, waiting for the next issue to arise. I had spoken to them numerous times to try and get them to understand that there was nothing going on between me and their gfs, but it seemed to have no effect.

After a particularly bad night, I decided enough was enough. I had had enough of the constant disruption these guys caused and I quit my job. I knew it wasn’t the smartest decision, but I just couldn’t take it anymore.

My last day at the pub was bittersweet. On the one hand, I was finally free from the stress and worry of having to deal with these guys every night.

On the other hand, I was sad to be leaving a job I had come to enjoy and a place I had grown to call home.

As I left, I felt a strange sense of relief. I had made the right decision and I was ready to move on to something new.

But I also felt a deep sadness. I realized I would never again experience the camaraderie, the laughter, and the joy of being a part of the pub family.

I had grown tired of the constant disruption caused by these patrons, and it was time for me to move on.

It was a hard decision to make, but in the end, I knew it was for the best. I just wished things could have been different.

Life is better overseas

Lol. I was a singaporean, currently Australian. Am in my 30s. Recently watch Lawrence wong video on “heart” work and income disparity. Please la.

I graduated from ITE. my whole life, everyone in sg looked down at me. When I started working as an ite grab, I was only paid $1.6k and was told I “deserve” that pay as I am from ite.

Packed my bags, left for aussie and am now a plumber. I earn more than 100k here, even after paying my taxes, I am easily earning 80k.

What kinda ite grad, in sg, doing hands work like plumbing, can earn 80k after taxes. Moreover, I am nt a boss of a plumbing company. Just a simple plumber.

Ppl like us, in nursing, construction, plumbing all should leave sg. Other places better. Pls la, minister in sg talk cock only. End of the day, the poor plumber pay will increase from 1.6k to 1.8k max lo. Coz in sg, always will have cheaper labour across the causeway mah.

Here are what netizens think:

• Nothing wrong to be a plumber, is a decent and down to earth job. And if I engage a plumber here, not cheap here lor , easily $100++ per trip. Glad that you found a better life in Australia, enjoy ur lifestyle there.

• All, groceries are not necessarily cheaper in Australia than sg. Depending on your basket of purchases. Like for like a kg of salmon fillet in sg is 1/2 to 2/3 the price of salmon in Australia. Alcohol isn’t much cheaper either for a pint.Public transport is a nightmare in some areas. At the end of the day it’s all about your choice of what you can accept.

• Nope. I rather hold my current salary than having white folks yelling at me to go back to where I came from.

• It’s quite a level playing field n most people can live a fairly decent life in terms of access to housing , healthcare etc . I guess it’s the belief in equality so most people can make it if they are willing to work hard. Less likely to be looked down upon or think your profession is lowly hence lots migrate over.