Husband (36m) mad at me (35f) and seeking FWB online.

My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We have three children together. We both work full time. Of note, I am the breadwinner and more fiscally responsible, though I shoulder most of our expenses.

We’ve always been tumultuous. However, things have been at a steady decline as of late.

See, my husband, who believes that his responsibilities in life begin and end with going to work, is so god awful upset that I don’t make my genitals available to him at every waking moment.

Besides sitting on the couch, watching youtube videos and ignoring the needs of everyone and everything in the household, the only thing he seems to care about is intercourse.

He has a immature level sense of humor, at best. Just loves to sit and watch stupid ass films like American Pie, etc, because they’re all hormone driven pieces of garbage.

I am currently recovering from a very significant surgery that has left me mobility impaired for the time being. This is the latest in a long line of several procedures that also left me mobility challenged. I have a life-long injury with chronic pain due to being in an unfortunate car accident. As a result, I have had increased anxiety over the past couple of years. My career has been damaged because of it, etc.

As such, I have spent a great deal of time alone, in my (our) room. Recovering. Being sad. Planning out or next moves. Budgeting. Paying all the bills. Still working full time, of course!

But my god. Not enough of my private parts have been accessible to his pervasive need.

On my birthday (last week), he joined me for a little bit – mostly to discuss how “monogamy isn’t realistic” and how we should probably divorce because my “lack of affection” is providing a poor example about relationships for our children. He then proceeded to insult my body, and then assumed that I would want to sleep with him.

Early in the morning today I snatched his phone and went through it. He is so desperately seeking someone to screw that he’s been talking with some married woman. He tells her that he’s “100% done” with our marriage but is staying for financial security.

I’m more amused than upset. However, I did end up sending a message to the ogre woman and I plan on confronting my toddler husband later.

My question is this –

Given the cost of everything, what’s the next step? Obviously, we need to separate. He needs a teenage-minded spouse that only cares about getting nasty, too. And I need somebody I can feel secure with.

The cost of housing in my area is revolting. All three of my children have some variety of special need, including autism.

I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years and I just found out that I’m positive for chlamydia and gonorrhea. Did he cheat on me?

We had a rough time and we broke up several times this year, but he’s always assured me that he never cheated on me (edit: or have any intimate contact with anyone else before and after I told him the test results) and it was great between us lately.

So it was a shock for me to find out the results. I’m asymptomatic I guess but I’m afraid I’ve had it for several months or years and that I am infertile because of him.

The only other person I’ve slept with in my life was over 10 years ago, so I doubt I had it first.

And I guess it’s unlikely to catch it without having intercourse.

I told him and he seems panicked to have it too but didn’t confess anything.

I don’t know what to think.

Netizens’ comments

• Reread what you typed out and tell me
• “We broke up several times” yeah that told me everything I need to know.
• It’s not cheating if you broke up
• Get treated. He needs to be tested and treated. Chlamydia can be dormant for years. That’s not the case with gonorrhea. So yes, he is the likely source.
• How did he phrased things about broken up time? Did he say he did not sleep with anyone or did he say he didn’t cheat? Technically, if he slept with others while you weren’t together, he didn’t cheat.
• It’s not cheating if you were broken up. Since you describe it as cheating, I’m guessing it’s common in your relationship to be on and off. If that’s so, ask yourself why you are together if you can’t stay together.

Why do some men feel such an inherent need to comment on women’s attractiveness?

Let me preface by saying I’m not saying all men are this way, this is my experience and doesn’t reflect on how I perceive all men.

I’m just very tired of dating men who end up making comments about the women around us, Like I get my partners will find others attractive- that isn’t there issue here.

The issue is the fact they always feel the need to comment on it, and in front of me too.

I doubt they would feel all too happy if I commented on the men I found attractive, but I simply don’t do that. I don’t mention any other men, nor woman, being attractive to my partner.

Netizens’ comments

• The only time my husband mentions something like this is when he says, “omg she’s she pretty.” “Awe she a little chunkers, so cute.” And “Ugh I just wanna give that one a kiss!” …. these are all directed at dogs tho.
• Found it quite weird myself. Big turn off. I was seeing a guy for a few dates, went to the movies with him and before the show he couldn’t stop commenting on the women’s physical appearance in the previews. I definitely found him less attractive and stopped seeing him after that.
• Some men have been taught that everything they think and say is important to people that they believe have less value than them if they were taught and raised the right way they would know that their negative opinion of a woman’s body doesn’t matter there’s is someone that thinks you are the most beautiful woman to ever walk this earth we are all perfect in our own way
• This is something I’ve noticed in most men I have ever associated with too. I have no idea why it happens, but I’ve expressed distaste of comments like that, and if someone doesn’t respect my boundaries, then I just stop being around that person and find someone who does. It’s easy enough to fix with people who respect women, it’s the ones who don’t who seem to tend to find it impossible to stop doing at least while you’re around.
• Some men are insecure and have to resort to commenting on other women’s appearance in front of you to make you jealous.

I’m an escort & my job is sad.

I’ve been working as a freelance escort for a few years (27f). My clients range from early 20s to late 60s. I enjoy my job mostly because I met a lot of people & connections.

But whenever I get a new client I always offer to chat first. That’s where I sad part is. I ask them what they want me to do for them. Sometimes it’s intercourse or oral. But a lot of the time it’s just for me to give them company.

We sit around & talk.

So many men are lonely & it breaks my heart. They naturally crave human-to-human contact but aren’t getting it. I understand that’s why my job exists but it so sad sometimes. No one should be alone.

I think about it alot.

Edit: since this is doing numbers. I’d like to apologize for only discussing men here. They are my only clientele. But Women often get just as lonely. & should be added to the conversation.

Netizens’ comments

• yup, im a straight woman and once considered hiring someone to go to the movies with me
• Honestly, I believe it. The pursuit for love and companionship can lead to self worth and doubt issues, anxiety, and sometimes worse. At the end of the day most people just want to be held, comforted, loved. Hell, genuine connection and emotion with another person is more precious than diamonds.
• I’m so lonely that I may have or not, considered hiring an escort in the past few months, just for the company.
• I’d believe it. Sometimes I literally just don’t know what to do with myself if my friends won’t play online with me and none of my friends are responding to messages. When I was younger I relished being alone but as an adult I feel very lonely sometimes when I don’t have anyone to talk to