Im tired of my friends bizarre copying of my personality

Me and him have been friends for over 15 years. For clarity, I am a woman and hes a man. We’re like defacto family. The older I got the more I became aware that whenever I talked to him about my new interests or things I’ve done, soon after he would become interested in these things too, using them as a way to get with other women. It has gotten to the point that these women thing I’m copying HIM to try and get him interested in me, then later he gets dumped because the interests and his personality come crumbling down.

I was flattered at first, don’t get me wrong, its nice that friends appreciate your interests and want to get involved as well, but its going far beyond flattery. I dye my hair – oh look so does he! I shaved my head, so does he (when he stated he never would). Me and my best friends make a DJ collective – guess what? Hes now made his own despite never DJing in his life and always claiming DJ’s ‘suck’. I go get new tattoos from a particular small stylized artist – so does he (after having none). I start wearing a small brands clothes (granted I got them for free), you bet hes gone to buy them. I learn to kayak – so does he, I learn to skydive – so does he, I start cross country running – so does he, quit driving and start cycling – hes now a fixie bike aficionado. I develop a pretty weird interest in carnivorous plants, rinse and repeat lol. I start going to this small cafe near my house (no where near him) every other day, post it on my story, now he’s obsessed and goes there without me and then posts it on his story. Me and my roommates got big into baking our own bread and then he sets up his own baking instagram. Ive caught him a few time when hes been over him rummaging through my Vinyl collection, taking photos of each, and then him buying them. Same with some of the fashion pieces I have (though not the dresses and skirts) and even with some commissioned art pieces that I have. All without asking – including going into my room. Ive even caught him once as I was going to meet him and a few friends him looking at my Instagram, screenshotting pictures and zooming in then googling the brand names etc. In group conversations, when things have gotten political or whatever, his opinion will be vastly different to mine, to then him taking my opinion and later using it to flirt with girls? He buys the games I play, books I read, magazines I read, etc. I’m a photographer and when I finally got successful and began working for myself, he bought a camera and started his own photography Instagram. The list goes on and on…

My breaking point has to be last year, I became vegetarian. Its something I worked really hard to do as I was not brought up vegetarian like some of my friends have and took a while to progress into, figuring out recipes, replacers, how to get all my vitamins in, I suffer a bit with anaemia so it was a big change. I didn’t announce the change or anything as I didn’t think much of it since most of our friends are veggie already. He has said many times that he would never do it because of his health issues which would mean he could end up in hospital. We have a friends dinner together and another friend asks me if I want meat, I tell them I don’t eat it anymore. He is now vegetarian a week later…

I had a chat with him about this last year after the veggie incident. I asked him if he liked me, he said he did not. I then tried to carefully discuss his behaviour, laying out the scenarios I’ve been uncomfortable with and he got defensive and angry at me, claiming I was trying to find any reason to blame him and that having an interest in your friends interests is normal. I agreed that I was flattered at first but this feels like its beyond an interest and bordering into an obsession. I told him that the girls he dates always end up disliking me (some being outright rude to me) because they think I like him because of it. Some days I wont see my other friends If I know hes coming with a girl because its extremely uncomfortable and they treat me this way even if Im with a guy. He then had the audacity to tell me that maybe I should stop copying him then!

After that conversation, I have taken a massive step back from him. I have no idea what his goal is with this behaviour. I won’t cut him off completely because he is a childhood friend but I think that he needs to be held at arms length. Ive restricted my stories from him and I very rarely host with that group of friends at all, and if I do, in smaller groups without him. I think the other friends have noticed this but I don’t care anymore. If they ask I’ll tell them the reason and deal with the fallout then. Ive talked to a few of them after a few drinks about it (too uncomfortable to do sober lol) and they are aware that he seems to follow a lot of my interests and personality and havent seen him do this to anyone else. His best friend (but not him) is coming over this evening with a few others to pregame for an event and Im going to try and sus out if anything has been said or anything has happened recently.

As a Singaporean driver, I’ve noticed that the driving culture here is quite different from that of Switzerland.

Singaporean drivers tend to be impatient and aggressive on the roads, like they are rushing to reincarnate, while Swiss drivers are known for their patience and courtesy.

I believe that Singaporean drivers should learn to be more patient like Swiss drivers.

This can be done by adopting the same driving etiquette that Swiss drivers practice, such as giving way to other drivers, being courteous to other road users, and following the traffic laws.

The main benefit of being patient and courteous on the roads is that it can help to reduce road rage and aggressive driving.

This can lead to better safety for everyone on the roads, including drivers, cyclists, and pedestrians.

It can also help to reduce the number of road accidents, as drivers are less likely to take risks when they are aware of the need to drive safely.

Another benefit of being patient and courteous on the roads is that it can help to reduce traffic congestion.

When drivers are courteous to other drivers and follow the traffic laws, it can help to reduce the amount of time it takes for traffic to move.

This can help to reduce the amount of time drivers spend stuck in traffic jams, which can be a big inconvenience.

Finally, being patient and courteous on the roads can also help to create a more pleasant driving experience.

When drivers are more patient and courteous, it can help to create a more relaxed atmosphere on the roads and make the drive more enjoyable.

Ultimately, I believe that Singaporean drivers should learn to be more patient and courteous like Swiss drivers.

This can help to create a safer, smoother, and more pleasant driving experience for everyone.

Is it achievable dream? I am currently a sec 3 na student.

Sometimes, I’d think of going to prestigious jc (Hwa Chong institution ), but I don’t think it is possible and i am also surrounded by people who are aiming for poly.

My plan is to be promoted to sec 5 and take pure science so I can get to choose h2 subjects, such as physics in jc, but the problem is pure science is more depth and has several chapters to cover.

I don’t think I can manage this big jump, but even if I took combined science, I still can get A1 instead of consistently putting effort into pure science in sec 5.

My result have to be in o level:
English:b3
Combined(Chem+phy):A1
Combined humanities ( geog+ ss):A1
Mother tongue: a1
A math: a2
E math: a2

Nyaa:2 points

Total l1r5: 10-2=8 points

On one hand, I’d think that I am able to get into Hwa institution but on the other hand, I believe that it is possible.

Let’s see how much I can improve in 2 years.

Netizens’ comments

• one of my seniors was from na or nt i forgot and went to hwa chong so i think its possible but she grinded her a- off for it.
• Hwa chong cut off is 4 points for science stream. Anyway, don’t think too far. Just do your best in 3NA for now.
• I think you try aiming for a jc First before aiming for what jc. Aim to Walk before you aim to run. Step by step. What you’re saying is akin to asking if a NA Student can be on par with an IP Student. It’s… abit of a stretch
• Possible but you need almost ALL A1s. 8 points imo is still too high for you to aim for HCI. Meanwhile,all the best for N’s!

Image source: Hwa Chong Institution

When I was in Uni, I thought I had found the love of my life.

We had been dating for over a year. We had many great times together, and I felt like he truly understood me.

But, unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse when I discovered his grossest habit.

It all started when I was in the bathroom showering and the door suddenly opened.

My boyfriend suddenly ran in and said that he had to take a dump. There was another toilet in his house which was unoccupied but he had to come in the same toilet I was using.

I was so disgusted by the smell of his ‘pang sai’ and the fact that there was an empty toilet available but he still chose to ‘pang sai’ in front of me that I quickly changed and left the bathroom.

I was shaking with anger and humiliation. How could he do something like this without even thinking about it? Couldn’t he see how wrong and disrespectful it was to me?

I decided to confront him about it the next day. I asked him why he would do something like that. He said he didn’t think it was a big deal.

I was so mad at him. I couldn’t believe he thought it was okay to take a dump in the same toilet I was in. I told him it was completely unacceptable and I was done with him. We broke up that day.

I know it sounds silly, but I could not get over the fact that he did that.

It showed me that he had no respect for me or my boundaries. I felt like he didn’t care about me at all and this was the final straw.

I know some people might think it was an overreaction, but I had to stand up for myself.

I wanted to be with someone who respected me and my boundaries so I had to let him go.

Breaking up with someone is never easy, but sometimes it’s necessary.

I learned that it’s important to be with someone who respects you, even if it means ending a relationship.

You should never settle for anything less than that.

I always wanted an English name. I had been researching them for a while, but I couldn’t settle on the perfect one.

I wanted a name that was easy to say, but still sounded unique and interesting.

My girlfriend was a big fan of the singer Jackson Wang, so I decided to take his name for my English name.

It wasn’t an easy decision. I knew that my English name would be a big part of my identity and I wanted it to be perfect.

I wanted a name that was easy to spell and pronounce, but I also wanted it to have a certain significance. That’s when I decided to go with Jackson.

Jackson is a strong and classic name, with a lot of history behind it. It’s also a name that’s easy to remember and spell, which is always a plus.

Did I mention that my surname is Ong, which in Chinese is also wang?

And of course, it has special significance for me because of my girlfriend’s love for the singer.

When I told my girlfriend my decision, she was ecstatic. She had been pushing me to take Jackson for my English name for months, so she was thrilled that I finally decided to go with it.

She said that she was proud to have been a part of my decision-making process and that she was sure I would love the name as much as she did.

Since taking on the name Jackson, I have felt an immense sense of pride. It’s a name that I now associate with strength, confidence, and independence.

It’s a name that I’m proud to be known by and I’m sure it has a lasting impact on my life.

As for my girlfriend, she has been so happy ever since i adopted that name.

Every time we meet her friends or just strangers who talked to us at pubs and clubs, she would excitedly tell them that this is my boyfriend, Jackson.

Can I check if this clause in a contract is normal?

“Company A may review your monthly salary, salary range, and variable components as appropriate and reserves the right to change your monthly salary, salary range, and variable components at Company A’s sole discretion.”

This is my first job so I don’t really know what to expect.

I’m slightly paranoid because I successfully negotiated the pay with them, so I’m just wondering if there’s a chance they’ll change my pay back to their original offered sum after I sign the contract?

Or is this something I don’t have to worry about? For additional context, it’s a government-linked company.

Would be very grateful if someone with more experience could kindly advise me! Thank you so much in advance!

I need to clarify that I’m stupid because I actually already signed the contract and am starting work next Monday…

I don’t really know what to do now because it’s apparently not a normal clause, but I guess I should be prepared to leave (1-month notice) the moment they deduct my salary disingenuously? 🙁

Netizens’ comments

• Companies are not allowed to change key employment terms at their sole discretion, especially not fixed terms like your base salary Amendments to your contract terms must only be made with consent of both parties. Check with the MOM if you’re unsure of your rights.
• Hey, while I think it might be normal for a company to say they will annually/ bianually/ sth normal review your salary and any future increase is at sole discretion of company, I think the wording you quoted sounds like a potential loophole for company to basically void your renumerations without your knowledge or consent.
  Unless you have reasons to believe in your company’s goodwill, it isnt about whether they will or will not dock your pay, but that they can. I would be alarmed if I were you, it’s like a rental contract that says landlord can change your rent anytime. I would not want to live with that insecurity if a job is meant to provide security.
• Kinda sus and you’re right to be concerned that the clause is in place for the company to reduce your salary later. I’ve worked before at several scammy companies and none of them had this clause, so it’s not super standard.
  Most important thing is how long is your notice period and are there non-termination conditions? If you are getting paid less and want to leave, how easily can you run?

I’m 20 and my mom just said she wished I’d just die because I came home an hour late

So, I told my mom I was going out with a few friends and then to dinner since one my friends is about to move to another country.

I missed her calls and freaked out when I saw like 8 missed calls. I know from experience my mom isn’t cool when it comes to these things and she often embarrasses me in front of other people so I didn’t call back but sent a text saying I’d be coming home soon and was having dinner.

She told me to be home by 11pm. I texted her at 11:10. I got home by 12:30 and she said the most awful things to me including wishing she hadn’t given birth to me.. and that I was of no use and no one would marry me and that I had terrible friends and so much more.

She said if i had to call her back she wouldn’t have worried and would be fine if I’d come back even at 5 in the morning which is frankly a lie because i know she would’ve just told me to come home that very instance without dinner and would’ve chewed my ear off on the phone.

To be honest I just saw all the calls and panicked and didn’t want to call her back. But I still think it’s unreasonable to say the things she did for coming home just over an hour later.

Travelling with my girlfriend has been a big mistake

This year, my girlfriend and I travelled to Bali and the Maldives. I just wanted to point out that she is very into Instagram and has around 15k followers and always post selfies and stuff.

Naturally, she made me take tons of pictures. I am totally fine with that. I support her passion and I even look up to that. However, she gets mad everytime I take “bad” pictures. For example when I accidentally took pictures with a shadow on her face or whatever. She would make a grumpy sound and tell me that I “never” take good pictures of her (I have been taking pictures of her for 5 years now).

Anyways, she would also get mad when something does not go according to our planned schedule. For example when a restaurant decides to close. She would tell me that I did not plan this properly or if my friend decides to want to meet me, I would try to fit that in our schedule and whe would get mad at that because the other stuff are pushed to a later time. It almost seems like she does not know the concept of a planning. To me I would love to follow the planning but sometimes things get in the way and we would have to adapt.

We come also come from a far country and we are a little bit jetlagged. So when we were at the hotel, I immediately crashed on the bed and woke up late for a day (At around 11am). She started calling me names like being useless and irresponsible because I woke up late and did not follow the scheduled.

What made me write this post is because today at dinner, I was feeling nauseous and had a headache for some reason. I took some pills and told my girlfriend that I think I need some rest. She started to look frustrated and annoyed. She started saying that I am weak and that there is an issue with me. She was annoyed because we planned to get pictures of her by the entrance of the hotel at night. Well, she basically forced me to still take few pictures of her.

Anyway, I do not know if this is normal behaviour when “influencers” go on vacation with their husband or boyfriend. I have spent last year working really hard and thought I deserved some relaxation time travelling. But it seems like I got another job instead in different countries being a photographer and babysitter.