I’m 20 and my mom just said she wished I’d just die because I came home an hour late

So, I told my mom I was going out with a few friends and then to dinner since one my friends is about to move to another country.

I missed her calls and freaked out when I saw like 8 missed calls. I know from experience my mom isn’t cool when it comes to these things and she often embarrasses me in front of other people so I didn’t call back but sent a text saying I’d be coming home soon and was having dinner.

She told me to be home by 11pm. I texted her at 11:10. I got home by 12:30 and she said the most awful things to me including wishing she hadn’t given birth to me.. and that I was of no use and no one would marry me and that I had terrible friends and so much more.

She said if i had to call her back she wouldn’t have worried and would be fine if I’d come back even at 5 in the morning which is frankly a lie because i know she would’ve just told me to come home that very instance without dinner and would’ve chewed my ear off on the phone.

To be honest I just saw all the calls and panicked and didn’t want to call her back. But I still think it’s unreasonable to say the things she did for coming home just over an hour later.

Travelling with my girlfriend has been a big mistake

This year, my girlfriend and I travelled to Bali and the Maldives. I just wanted to point out that she is very into Instagram and has around 15k followers and always post selfies and stuff.

Naturally, she made me take tons of pictures. I am totally fine with that. I support her passion and I even look up to that. However, she gets mad everytime I take “bad” pictures. For example when I accidentally took pictures with a shadow on her face or whatever. She would make a grumpy sound and tell me that I “never” take good pictures of her (I have been taking pictures of her for 5 years now).

Anyways, she would also get mad when something does not go according to our planned schedule. For example when a restaurant decides to close. She would tell me that I did not plan this properly or if my friend decides to want to meet me, I would try to fit that in our schedule and whe would get mad at that because the other stuff are pushed to a later time. It almost seems like she does not know the concept of a planning. To me I would love to follow the planning but sometimes things get in the way and we would have to adapt.

We come also come from a far country and we are a little bit jetlagged. So when we were at the hotel, I immediately crashed on the bed and woke up late for a day (At around 11am). She started calling me names like being useless and irresponsible because I woke up late and did not follow the scheduled.

What made me write this post is because today at dinner, I was feeling nauseous and had a headache for some reason. I took some pills and told my girlfriend that I think I need some rest. She started to look frustrated and annoyed. She started saying that I am weak and that there is an issue with me. She was annoyed because we planned to get pictures of her by the entrance of the hotel at night. Well, she basically forced me to still take few pictures of her.

Anyway, I do not know if this is normal behaviour when “influencers” go on vacation with their husband or boyfriend. I have spent last year working really hard and thought I deserved some relaxation time travelling. But it seems like I got another job instead in different countries being a photographer and babysitter.

I quit a job but after some time they asking me to pay a damage fee

so i worked at a retail place like 3months ago and my ex manager messaged me to say one of their device is missing on one of the days i’ve worked and each worker has to pay if they worked on that day.

It’s so unfair??? I’ve already quit but still need pay money?? What do i do? what happens if i don’t pay?

Netizens’ comments

• There is absolutely NOTHING he can do to make you pay. It is the manager’s responsibility that you turn over all company property on your last day and that nothing is outstanding before you leave. For him to come to you three months later is ludicrous. Sounds like he/she is on the hook for it and they’re trying to blame anyone they can. Ignore the messages or block this ex-manager.
• I am not a lawyer but I don’t think you are legally obliged to pay anything. Even after 3 months, there is no legal responsibility on your part whatsoever.
  The reason being is thar it is the store’s responsibility, and really, the store manager’s responsibility to ensure inventory is in place.
  It is more likely that inventory had somehow gone missing and the manager is scrambling to solve his own problem by extracting money from ex-employees.
  Even worse, the whole story could be fake. There is no way to verify if the manager is even telling the truth.
• Nope. Don’t pay.
  Just for the record, check your contract.
  For another analogy, if you rent a car, and return a damage which the company only realised 3 months later: there is zero chance you would pay
• Just ignore. Anything can happen within that 3 months. Tell him to send the cctv footage to the police to investigate.
• Pull out your employment letter and see if there is any clause that covers equipment damage and or any other liability. Otherwise, just ignore..

I (F26) came while kissing, should I tell him?

I am dating a new guy and we were making out, I was wearing a skirt and kind of thrusting against his leg that was between mine.

Something about how dominant he was as he was holding my hands against the bed while kissing me just turned me up to 100 and I could feel myself getting closer and eventually came.

I’m sure he felt something, as he was wearing shorts and I was very wet, I just don’t know if it’s a weird thing to admit, or whether I should pretend like it didn’t happen.

Netizens’ comments

• I would share it with him. He will probably be very pleased.
• OMG! Definitely share it with him. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to know that you finished. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
• You need to 100% tell him ASAP! Boy’s going to take that as the biggest compliment ever! I know I would!
• It’s up to you but “weird” is nowhere near the word I would use if I have been told that haha more like satisfied and excited. I’m glad you had fun!
• Well…it depends. Do you like this fellow and/or want to make him feel awesome about himself? If the answer is yes…then by all means tell him.
• Uh yeah this is the biggest ego boost of all time haha

my (21) dad(56) is dating a girl who is 26. one year older than my older sister.

So long story short my dad wasn’t too present in my life growing up as he was an alcoholic. He had cheated on my mom… the cliche… they divorced… I have been on and off talking with him and last year I cut him off because of personal reasons like how I felt he was overbearing to be around and that he wouldn’t listen to me.

Recently I was looking at my life and seeing how my daddy issues have affected me and someone advised that I should try to rekindle a relationship with my father. So I call him back today and the conversation went great. He admitted to his mistakes and apologized. I felt it was a very mature conversation and I was looking forward. Then he says he’s been seeing someone then I say I was happy for him. I am a bit surprised as he isn’t an attractive individual. I was expecting some older women not very attractive at all but a sweetheart nonetheless. To my surprise, she is not only 26, but very beautiful and seems extremely sweet. I barely spoke to her but I can’t say anything that seems upsetting about her inherent character.

I am very uncomfortable and I fear that my attempt to heal myself only made things worse and now this is going to affect me more as well. I just want to one day be able to be functional in a relationship and secure in myself. As I have a lot of issues when it comes to being with a guy. I become obsessive and lose myself in them. I feel like this put a dent in my want to have a relationship with my dad as I can’t imagine that this won’t overshadow everything. I am happy he found someone but I can’t help but feel how inappropriate this is. I am not speaking to my sister at the moment but I can’t imagine how she feels. My dad is dating someone one year older than my sister. That’s so bizarre. God forbid they have kids. I am not sure how to feel. I just want to get better but I don’t know how to process this.

Is it worth continuing to speak to him if this will continuously trigger me? Can I get over his relationship? Should I stop talking to him again? I just want to be a healthy individual but this has really sent me into a mental spiral at the moment. Let me know what you think.

I’m getting sick of dating women

I have no issue dating men or women but there is a distinct difference between dating cultures between the two and it’s really begun to strike a nerve.

If I was to go on a date with a man the dating experience is a lot like two bros who haven’t seen each other in a while and we talk about whatever, it feels like a genuine interaction.

If it doesn’t lead to anything that’s fine because even if we don’t end up sleeping or dating each other I’ve made a friend and I don’t feel like my time has been wasted.

Dating women I feel like I often have to fight for their attention just to even get to the stage of going out to meet them and often there is an expectation that I do all the work in organizing the date and paying for it, which I honestly don’t mind but the difference in expectation between genders is obvious.

The part that really Irks me though is after the date, we can get along perfectly, food was perfect, date was perfect and we kiss at the end only to then ignore my texts the next day.

I don’t expect expect anything from buying you dinner, hell you don’t even have to like me but please for the love of god just say so instead of acting like you do just to ignore me afterwards.

The worst case I had of this was with a girl I was seeing a while back and we had been out a good few times and we got along amazingly, we went to an event together one time and she acted really distant and on the way back I asked her if I had done something wrong, to which she tells me ‘no you’ve not done anything I’m just really tired’.

I get back home and she’s blocked me on everything If she was honest with me and told me how she feels I would’ve been upset but I would’ve been okay with it, this is just disrespectful.

I do feel bad for straight men if this is what they have to deal with when dating, so ladies I ask for them. If you don’t like a guy please just be honest with them

Snoring is making me want a divorce

Maybe some of you can relate. My husband snores so loudly that you can hear it everywhere in our home. There’s no getting away from it.

I sleep with earplugs but we have a young child and it’s not always practical.

He has not gotten any treatment despite my begging. I’m a good sleeper in general but last night I was up til 2am because it was just unbearable.

If I don’t get to sleep before he does, I often can’t. We have separate rooms because he’s too loud in the bed next to me. This has had a chilling effect on our romantic life.

I am considering separation for a month just so that I can get myself back in a good sleep mode. I’m desperate and exhausted.

I’ve explained how bad it is and recorded him. It’s LOUD. He apologizes but doesn’t do anything…I’ve bought breathing strips, wedge pillows, all kinds of aids and gadgets to try.

He will use them a few times and then “forget”. I’m tired of nagging and just plain tired.

Hi, I’ll be graduating in April and have started applying for a few jobs in marketing.

I’m someone who gets very anxious about my future and even though I’m actively doing things to get myself to where I want to be, I worry about many external factors.

So my question is: with the recession coming, should I take a lower pay e.g. 3.6k-3.8k (expecting 4k-4.2k as I have 1.5 years relevant experience despite not having a marketing degree) and change jobs or should I take a gap year? I heard that if your starting pay is lower, it’ll be difficult to negotiate for higher pay for future jobs.

A good-paying job is my top priority now as I’m looking to move out (toxic family situation). I don’t mind less work-life balance for now.

I’m also on a bond so I’ll need to work in SG for 3 years upon graduation so a gap year would affect the duration of bond. Not too sure what will happen if I take a gap year, but that’s not a worry yet.

Thanks and appreciate any advice!

Here are what netizens think:

• Secure a job with the highest pay offer u can get now. If the company decides to reduce pay due to recession, u are already prepared for it. Rather than now go for a lower pay and get pay cut, makes it even lower right?

• If you have a toxic family situation, I don’t think you can finance a gap year. As you rightly pointed out, recession is coming, so my advise is to just secure a job with a somewhat recession-proof company if possible. You can always venture out later. If you think you are worth your salt, and are underpaid, go private sector. You can climb up fast enough, if you are really worth your salt.

• Low pay doesn’t mean u cant advance fast enough. Know when to bargain for a higher pay if the company relies on u for alot of info. Know when to keep a low profile when necessary.

My bf is a mama’s boy and at first I thought it was pretty cute, now it’s starting to annoy the S out of me.

Everytime I jio him to somewhere nice, he’ll always wants to bring his mother cos he says she never try before also want to let her try.

He’s always talking about her and telling me stories about her. He loves to go out for dinner with her and he calls her every day. I thought it was really sweet that he was so close to his mother and not embarrassed by it.

But then, I started to notice that my boyfriend always seemed to be doing what his mom wanted him to do. For example, when it came time to pick a school or course, he chose the one his mom preferred, even though it wasn’t the best fit for him. He also always asked his mom’s advice before making any decisions, which was fine, but it started to get a little excessive.

I get it that his mom is a single parent and he’s the only child so he feels the duty to take care of her but what about me?

Every time we pak tor also got one light bulb, how to continue like that?

The worse part is I can sense that his mom doesn’t like me. In front of him, she pretends to treat me nicely but when he’s not around, she will tell me things like she doesn’t understand what her son sees in me, I better know my own worth and she will continue to join us for our dates to keep an eye on me.

Like wtf?

She’s really damn toxic I can’t take it. I’m only just his gf and she’s doing this alr. I can’t imagine what will happen if I actually marry him.

I just turned 52, and I still never made a single friend or had a significant other in my life

It isn’t like I didn’t try hard. I tried so hard to try to make friends in my life only to fail, fail, fail, fail, and fail. I just want to scream and cry right now.

Humans aren’t meant to be lonely and isolated throughout their whole life like this.

It feels like I am going to die early because of my poor health, and I just can’t believe that I never got to see any of the beauties of life.

Netizens’ comments

• Im so sorry you feel this way. Did you join hobby clubs or groups for singles where they go to meet up for a couple of times a month?
• I’m sorry that you feel like that but maybe you should stop forcing yourself and putting so much pressure on your shoulders! Finding good tru friends is very hard so please don’t hurt yourself like that,try to see the beauty of life and enjoy every moment of it on your own way. Sometime happiness come later to the game so don’t give up and keep believe. I wish you well
• Why do you think your attempts to make friends have failed?
  I sometimes feel this way, and I’m about the same age as you. I have only two friends right now. I had four friends before covid and during covid, three of them moved out of state so I was down to one friend. Since then I’ve made one so I have two.
  It is very hard to make friends later in life. I had more friends in my 20’s when everyone was single. Then people got married and had families. I married too, but it didn’t last very long- only 4 years. I’ve had a few boyfriends since then, but now not for a long time. This is made worse by the fact that everyone is busy with their families now. I don’t have a family, so I’m alone a lot. A LOT.
  I know why this happened: I am the victim of narcissistic abuse. My mother was a horrible person and never loved us; only manipulated us. And so I learned patterns of behavior – ‘tapes’ – that have played out again and again in my life. I see a psychiatrist, do meditation, listen to Buddhist CDs in my car that help me, and am on happy pills, but I’m not sure I will ever be fully healed. It sucks. But I know I’m doing my best, so that’s all I can do.
  I have done a lot of things tho. I made sure to do that, anyway. I have traveled all over the world. Most of it alone. But it was a goal and I did it. I try to do what I can alone so that I don’t miss out on life completely.
  Try to do what you can to make your life better. That’s what I do. I know how much it hurts to be so lonely that you feel it in your bones. I get it and totally feel your pain. I do. And I don’t think we are the only ones. I think there are a lot more people like us than we realize.
  Can you maybe make a friend at work? Do you have a hobby that can be done in a group?
  If you don’t mind my asking, are you male or female? What worked for me for a while was taking up knitting. Many cities have yarn stores and tables where you can just go and sit and knit. You go any time the store is open and just sit and knit with whoever is there. The friend I made since the pandemic came from that group. Since then, the pandemic closed that store and so now I’m stuck with no outlet to make more friends like that. But maybe I will try something else. Learning to throw pottery maybe?