A woman shared how she was molested by her husband’s family member and that there was a 3rd party trying to wreck her marriage.
Here is the story:
“Emotional infidelity is something only when you experience it yourself then you will know how it feels.
My husband emotionally cheated on me 5 years ago and no matter how much I busy myself the thought still comes back to haunt me as and when. I don’t believe he’s cheating anymore and he has corrected his behavior towards women since but I don’t feel settled even when I have access to his phone to check anytime I want.
A lot of things happened to lead to this. I was molested by a family member of his and it took years for me to expose it and cut ties with this person.
This person had been ‘accidentally’ brushing into my chest/inner thigh/butt over the years when no one is noticing. I am aware he leers at me at times. I dread it when this person is around because he is also a narcissist, talks down and interrupts me everytime. I’m not a large sized person, and the other male family members have always respected my personal space. After the first assault, then I was sure this pervert had been doing it on purpose.
The first time this person assaulted me, I told my husband and was ignored. I know my husband values family ties and he chose to ignore what I said. Things start to go downhill and I stop telling my husband whenever I feel unsafe. I slowly dread family meetings and start to not show up and disguised it as needing ‘me time’ or purposely set up other meetings.
At time goes by, I was seeing a counselor because I cannot cope with daily life. At that time I have this phobia that the pervert will break into my house and attack me for telling the family that he had been molesting me. (I know it’s not possible anymore but I cannot help how I feel at that time)
My husband felt guilty, and was at a loss for cutting off this family member, so he start to indulge in his sports, a female friend joined his team and start to get close to him. By the time I discovered it, the daily texting/flirting had been going on for 6 months and the final month he was meeting and training her once, twice a week alone. I was seeing my counselor for the last session when I found out so fortunately by then I was mentally strong enough to ‘take the blow’. Else I think I may have committed suicide.
He insisted he had no attraction because she looked like a man, that’s why he dare to spend time with her because she ‘needed his help’ on how to improve on the sport and he also pitied her so he try to take care of her like a sister. The woman is in her late 30s and going through failed relationships one after another. He just cheer her up as a friend and share manly explicit jokes with her because she kept acting like a man. Then he admitted he was attracted to the talking because we aren’t talking much that time. I feel like he cannot be trusted. He never considered that she was interested in him.
From the texts I can tell the 3rd party was in love with my husband and kept trying to hint my husband to take things further and I can tell my husband isn’t understanding what she want. I cannot imagine if he had more time with her, what could have happened.
I have a few mutual friends who told me to be glad they didn’t sleep together. This is a small issue. If flirt for 6 months and nothing happened, nothing is going to happen. My husband was stupid and won’t do it again. They paint my husband as an innocent blur head who got manipulated by this woman. But none of them have been cheated on like this. Emotional infidelity is so painful. The pain completely wiped away the anguish of being molested and disrespected by the pervert for years.
BTW the woman tried to make contact a year later. Thankfully he told me asap.
When I see shows that mention or show infidelity, I still get triggered. I feel no matter how much our marriage has improved, how sweet, loving, attentive my husband is now, there is still a part of me wondering if he will cheat again when times get tough.”
