(F25)(M26) My boyfriend threatened to cheat on me if I don’t give him children

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly 10 years now and we live together, when we agreed on dating in school I had warned him multiple times that I didn’t want to have kids, he was completely okay with this and at the time he also agreed on not having kids.

however less than year ago he started bringing subtle hints about now wanting children this become a bigger issue once marriage started coming in the picture,I’ve been delaying the idea of it since now we aren’t on the same page when it comes to children.

He talked me into the idea but I’m still not comfortable with pregnancy, my mother had a really really bad pregnancy and my doctor say I’m at risk of having the same complications with honestly terrifies me, because of this I suggested a surrogate mother, he didn’t liked this idea because he thinks that the only correct way for a pregnancy is to be natural and that maybe we should get married now and delay having children until I’m no longer selfish and childish.

His attitude towards the issue really surprised me, we rarely argue, when we do he always keeps his cool, and he’s never been aggressive towards me, this time the more I tried to talk reason with him the more angry he became eventually he said that he will just marry me and get other women to have children with and that he will only financially support them but not be present with them that much so I don’t have to see them or raise them, this for me sounds extremely cruel for everyone involved, i told him how ridiculous his idea is and he said that then maybe I should just endure a little of pain and discomfort so he can have a legacy.

Eventually I suggested breaking up since I’m willing to sacrifice but he isn’t, he started getting verbally aggressive at this because he doesn’t consider our sacrifices of equal value since for him his legacy and fulfilment as man is more important than the possible complications of pregnancy, and that if I was that much against being pregnant then I just had to stay by his side and love him while he gets other women pregnant, I couldn’t take it anymore and I left the house.

I’ve been staying at an hotel for a few days and everyday I’ve been getting messages from his friends and family saying that it’s time for me to grow up and accept that I will eventually need children, I no longer know if I’m in the right, so I wanted advice from people who can see this more objectively,

¿should I break up with him or try to make things work again?

I hope this post finds you well, for it will likely be the last and give you the closure you deserve.

I think I have figured out 9 out of 10 of the truth you shared with the third party though some are not meant for me.

I like to tell you that you are still young and will have ample time to get your unicorn eventually. Everyone processes and pursues at different speeds. This is not a competition. What is meant for you will be yours and vice versa.

I believe I am the SIM dude that you are talking about. I think you are right. You are definitely a few notches above me. I do not deserve you and your elitist fam; I can never match up to that level.

The truth is you don’t truly love me or like me for who I am. The person you love is yourself as you make various forms of comparison between us and believe yourself to be the superior one. And the person you like is what makes you think about who I am. In other words, a figurative person made up in your mind. You like the external of ‘J’ but the internal of ‘M’.

You haven’t experienced true love. That is why everything is a calculated move at the back of your mind. ‘If I give in 100%, I should get back 80%. I will cut losses if it’s beyond 20%. In addition, I should diversify my basket to expand my outreach so that this 80% can reach “C”, “D”, “E”, etc. This way I can increase my chances of getting at least 1 offer back.’

A relationship can be pretty complicated. Sometimes it requires you to use your head (top, not bottom); other times, you simply have to follow your heart. And intuition helps us sieve out genuinity (from the heart) vs. calculated moves (from the head).

I must say I have known you more as a person seeing you act yourself than pretending to be someone you are not (as you have felt so yourself). Everyone deserves love; don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

If you wish to meet someone like that, perhaps the next time, you should be more certain of who and what you want first instead of playing a mathematician.

At the end of the day, we entered a relationship to embrace and love the person for who they are, not what we hope them to be. If you want to change someone, that person is not for you.

Lastly, if you think that your partner will cheat on you before even getting into a relationship, this relationship is not for both of you. We can all tell where things are going south (E.g., in an argument, A will comment on how B is behaving promiscuously. And B will comment on how A has a foulmouth.) Where do you think this is headed?

The last thing you would want to do is convince someone else that your partner is not indecent, etc., when you believe him/her to be so. A relationship is a two-way street. It doesn’t matter how much one party works hard. If the person harbors an ill mindset against the other party, the other person can sense it. Not to mention when the whole community already felt a certain way about that person’s partner. I hope you can make the decision for yourself in the future because you will be the one living with it. Love yourself more, and don’t look to seek validation from others. I have always believed in loving ourselves first, and things will fall into place.

With that said, it doesn’t mean we ignore others’ feelings, needs/wants. We should still be an empath and listen intently but filter the negativity accordingly, so we don’t end up draining ourselves. Learn the art of balance. I hope you don’t take this as a lecture but my two cents from the bottom of my heart about what I have learned about us and my love for you as a friend.

Also, I heard you felt you could click with ‘M’ but require some work from ‘M’. I believe you know how much ‘M’ likes you and is willing to work for you by now. I will give you both my blessing and not brief a single word to ‘M’ about what happened. You can have my word for that.

As we close off this chapter and move on to the next, I hope we have both learned something from this experience and take that to be a better someone for the next. I wish you the best from afar and hope the best for you.

Hey guys hope you had a great new year. I don’t really know if I’m looking for advice or just to rant so please bear with me. Admins please post this? ????

It’s actually about this girl from my course.

She’s really quiet, looks wise not too bad and she’s really sweet. Hands down the sweetest girl I’ve ever met, she’s genuinely caring, generous and very humble even though she’s really rich and smart (typical RGS girl). There’s only one issue; she’s EXTREMELY unhygienic and filthy.

She rarely washes her oily hair and has a habit of rewarding her clothes. She also has the same unwashed hoodie that she’s been using every day for at least the 2 years that I’ve known her.

At first I thought she was just naturally oily and pimple prone until we organised an early Christmas party (second week of December). Long story short we played with fake powdered snow and it got everywhere. Our group met up again a few days later and one of the girls commented to her discreetly that she had “dandruff” but upon closer inspection I realised that it was the powdered snow. She washed/rinsed her hair afterwards and we had another get together for the New Years. She didn’t have any of the powdered snow in her hair but when she pulled her hair back behind her ears, I s2g she had it around her ear canal. I nearly threw up thinking about it because it’s been more than 2 weeks and somehow she didn’t wash her ears or shower because that powdered snow washes off really easily.

Our dinner was at this western grill place i observed her while she ate a lamb rib then look around for more tissues and couldn’t find any near her so she reached down under the table and wiped her oily fingers either on her jeans or the underside of the table then “washed” them with the condensation on her drink.

Actually she’s a really sweet girl but she’s so fucking dirty and unhygienic that it’s a massive turn off 0/10 and idk if I should say anything or just pretend not to notice. Has anyone ever met someone like that before? She’s 20+ btw

M, 29, 170.5cm tall – hoping to be taller. Friends around me are at least 180cm tall.

Recently, I came across a youtuber- a*tem*s with a 1 year old video about some height gain video via stretching exercises.

As I scrolled through the replies, I am amazed at the number of positive replies claiming that they grew a few inches taller after the exercises.

I am curious about what are you guys’ opinions on this? The claims do not seem to be fake because almost all the replies are successful testimonials with hundreds of likes. I am still having a hard time finding a negative comment to disprove the claims.

I am kinda desperate now because I have been playing basketball for 3 years but to no avail. Being someone who has been outtalled and bullied at basketball courts, I am on the verge of giving up on b ball… All the 6 footers will be challenging me to a game of basketball where I will definitely be disadvantaged, to the point I cant even play the game by myself in peace….

Here are what netizens think:

• bro, you are 29 already. I’m afraid the ship has sailed for any chance of a second growth spurt. sure you can try whatever methods but those aren’t actual gain in height, just ‘temporary stretch’, like how our height can vary over the day. live with it. your self esteem is not determined by your height

• Bro… trust me.. u don’t want to be so tall… u will encounter problems like what I encounter… walking in the mall and accidentally knee into small kids knocking them down and the parents will death stare you.

• The fact that you’re “having a hard time finding a negative comment to disprove the claims” tells me you probably have more important things to work on as an adult…

• My teammate in the local national basketball league is 10cm shorter than you but still a very impactful player. Heart over height!

So I have known this guy for a while and I think we have mutual interest in each other.

Recently he told a ‘third party’ that we know mutually that he has several frustrations towards me that I am unaware of.

Some context is that I have a lot of guy friends in my circle. I have known for over a decade, and some I knew would always have my back. We are very playful when we are together because why not? Life is too short to be serious all the time. Besides, we have been like this since we met each other.

So I heard of a few frustrations but to be honest, idk what the whole thing is also la. Like this third party blabbering this that this that. Idk what is this that la. But one thing I can relate to is having fun with my bros lo.

So one day he asks what I am doing, and I being stupid, just say the truth lo. Then you know what? He called me ‘chicken’ ley. In translation is like, you know geylang chicken? Wah I blank out sia.

Never in my life have I met someone so disrespectful. So I got real pissed off, I just stop contacting him.

Afterall you cannot teach someone to respect you when they show zero respect right? Like you cannot explain to a dumbo what is wrong when they are dumb right?

Then hor idk he ki siao or what start showing me he hang out with a group of girls. I’m like okay lo. Fair ma, I got my male friends who am I to comment about him having girlfriends right. But I won’t call him quack quack la cos I am not raised to stoop to the level when they are being rude ma. But biang as I look back still angry sia. After that he said sorry, so tho I am still angry, I decided to letgo la. Ppl make mistakes and we cant always harp on to it.

For the rest of frustrations idk what is the blabbering about. But would y’all give up friends you knew for over a decade or always have your back in life and death situation over someone you knew for a couple of months? For me is a no brainer thing. If I have to choose between friendship and relationship, maybe this is not the relationship right? Relationship is about growing, complimenting etc. The way I see it is like shrinking, devaluing me, demoralizing. Who is to blame? Me lo kiampa.

The funny thing is he said he told me many times he didn’t like this that this this this. whatto??? Like what is this what is that and when huh?? Biang idk ley. halp la. Then I found out he string many girls along and still dared call me chicken??? kns ley. I said aiya you like so much then you go find one of the girls lo. Then he went. Haahha I give up la. Thanks for listening to the rant but would love to hear your thoughts too

I’m a single dad, my son is 20, as is his wife. His mom has never really been in his life so I truly did the parenting solo. My approach, especially when he got older was that I will give him the freedom to make his own decisions, but, the consequences are his as well.

He met his now wife when they were both barely 19, 6 months later they were married, he said it was fine, he was in love, she was great. He told her she didn’t have to work and, rather than get their own place, they were living in one of his childhood friends’ place, paying him rent.

He lost his job in November. I will say this, it sounds like it was kind of a shitty situation because the manager who hired him quit a month after hiring him, and it sounds like the new manager was looking to clean house, so, they started with him.

He immediately calls me, tells me he’s fired and wants to come home. I thought at that moment that, this was a massive blow to him, and that I’d be a terrible dad to turn him away. I also figured that he would be super motivated to find another job and get out of my place.

In the almost 2 months they’ve lived here, he hasn’t looked for a job, nor has she.From what I gather, they sleep until lunch, then just hang out.

When I bring up jobs and rent, he tells me he just needs a little ” breathing room” or his wife will tell him I need to give him ” time to bounce back”.

Yet, when I ask them to do chores, oh, then it’s ” I can’t do all these chores & job hunt” and with her it’s ” I’ve never done (insert any chore here).

A couple of nights ago, I told them they were going to start paying rent, whether that means he or she take a job they don’t want, I don’t care. He argued it would screw up his resume, her response is just ” I don’t want to”. I said that they can pay me using their savings. They said that wasn’t fair.

[33F 32M] my fiancé left me 3 weeks after I gave birth to our premature child.

We were together for a little more than 2 years. We were opposites but I saw it as our strength. He has been more and more distant from me around the 7th month of pregnancy.

We argued often, always about the same topics. He used to spend 3-4 days per week at his mother’s place in order to work and have access to his documents and tools.

I was then spending 3-4 nights alone in our apartment because he was used to spending the night at his mother’s place. That would frustrate me a lot and we would argue about this often.

Then our child was born 6 weeks preterm (34 weeks). I was at the hospital everyday until we got the green light to go home.

I would sleep at home and would often go home to an empty house, him spending the night at his mother’s place.

I would ask for his support and ask for him to sleep at home with me but he said that he needed to work and that it was my responsibility as a woman to take care of our child.

My heart was broken, I started to have dark thoughts and I told him about it. He decided to cancel our reservation for our wedding venue without telling me.

He said that he did not cancel but wished to postpone but did not tell me because I was down and that I would not react well to you the news.

A few days later he broke up with me. Telling me that he did not want to raise a child with me. That he’d rather comparent with me. That I’m too emotional, that I think that there’s 2 captain in the relationship and that he doesn’t have any control over his family.

Please tell me if it makes any sense ? I’m lost and heartbroken.

i bit my boyfriend’s junk because he wouldn’t stop head pushing, but i feel really guilty

it didn’t seem like a big deal at the time but it’s keeping me up. we’ve known each other for around 6 months, and started hu in october. the head pushing has never been a problem until a few weeks ago. i don’t mind a little, but he gets so aggressive that it hurts. i’ve communicated with him in more ways than one that i don’t like how aggressive he is. i’ll stop him when he’s doing it just for him to resume not even a minute later. i’ve told him during and outside of us being intimate so i really don’t think i could’ve been anymore clear.

earlier today i was going down on him and he started again. like usual, i moved his hands off my head, i told him to be gentle, i told him it hurts when he does it all within 5 minutes. he just wouldn’t stop. at first i just bit down a little with my front teeth. that didn’t work so i but the head with my molars. not that hard, probably enough to break a baby carrot. he yelled and pushed me off of him and started yelling and asking what what wrong with me. i told him he’s the one that can’t do the one single thing i’ve asked him so many times to not do when i’m doing something for HIM. he kept telling me it doesn’t matter, that you should never do that to anyone, blah blah blah. we bickered for a couple minutes, and he eventually left while calling me dirty names on his way out.

i honestly wasn’t expecting to do it. i’m just so tired of having my boundaries broken. i have been extremely clear and direct when telling him to simply not push my head. i don’t understand why that is so hard to comprehend. is there something i’m not understanding?? does it make the head better?? i just feel like i’m doing this one thing only for him. i get no pleasure out of it. i don’t even like doing it. and he can’t even give me the peace of not trying to suffocate me. it just feels so dirty and disrespectful with the amount of times i had to ask him not to. but i can’t help but feel bad. i’m worried i might’ve hurt him more than i intended to. i don’t want to call or message him but i don’t even know where he is right now. i know i shouldn’t be worried about him but i am. i really don’t know if i should’ve taken a different approach to this because i don’t know if our relationship will come back from this with how upset he was when he left.