Long story short, I currently got this job through 2 of my current colleagues recommendation.. been in it for 1 year plus n realised that this job is not really what I want.. loads of deadlines and expects you to put in overtime quite often without getting paid.

This 2 colleagues of mine came from a place where the working environment was obnoxious and they seem to love to compare the current one to it and boast that they have been put through the grind and this is child’s play to them.. they work on weekends and have no life outside of their work and expects everyone to be like them..

Recently I have been contemplating to leave and they have been all sorts of guilt tripping me saying I am weak and I am unable to take stress and all comparing me to them and said I should also put in extra hours like them on the weekend or even when I’m on my own personal holidays they have been badgering me to get work done.

If you were me, would you leave? And it would be nice to hear if there are other horror colleagues who behaves like a cult culture?

Netizens’ comments

Flip the script on them, they aren’t guilt tripping you, they’re giving you constructive advice.

So you can reply, “I guess you guys are right, I’m probably not a good fit for this job, I can’t to take the stress like you guys can. That’s why I’m thinking of finding a job that’s a better fit for me. And the company can also hire someone else who’s a better fit for this job’s demands, so it’s a win-win situation for everyone. Thanks for the helpful advice!”

And OP, don’t let what they’re saying about being “weaker” get to you. Different people have different strengths, and thrive under different environments. Your colleagues may thrive in this job, but it may be that this job simply doesn’t play to your strengths. It’s possible that you’ll shine when given the right roles and environment, and you can only realistically achieve that by changing jobs.

[30f][31m] my fiancée[not married]has 45k in credit card Debt. But expects me to pay her bills.

So last night I found out that my fiancée has 45k in credit card debt. She got a 15k loan because she quit her job because she didn’t like the vp.

She said it was to help her transition and find another job. She has a job but wants to quit because she wants to get married and then move shortly after.

Her current job she’s half doing. Back to the loan to “help us.” She says she factors in my bills as well as a part of “us becoming one” and all the little things she does for me. I’ve told her that I can do the little things myself.

She took the loan out without asking me, now she expects the same. For me to go out my way to pull out my pocket. I have good credit. And I have advised that if my credit goes bad. We are both screwed in the long run. So I won’t be pulling loans and such. She was talking about finding a second job. But I need to see you pull off the first one.

Anyway, I understand helping me but going into debt to do so is not a good idea to do so. And because we aren’t married yet I’m not obligated to get her out of debt. I want to help her but I wish to do so safely without ruining my credit just in case something happens. I mean she want me to pay bills in a house in her name so you can kick me out and all that money is wasted….

How can I fix this situation? Am I obligated to pay her bills

I found out that My (28M) Daughter (5F) is also my Sister.

As the title suggests I have recently discovered that my daughter is actually my half-sister. My wife and I got married about four years ago after the birth of our daughter.

We both assumed she was mine even though we weren’t exclusively dating the year prior. We met and became a FWB situation neither one of us wanting anything serious at the time.

I had partners besides her and visa versa, it wasn’t a secret to either of us. When she became pregnant she told me she couldn’t have a FWB situation anymore because she needed stability for her child.

She gave me an out to leave and never look back but I didn’t want that. I’d slowly fallen in love with her as time passed and knew that whatever her life turned into I wanted to be a part of it.

I didn’t ask for genetic testing because why ask a question if you don’t want to know the answer? I raised her and so I was her father, genetics didn’t matter to me.

We moved in together, my name is on her birth certificate, we got married and have been living very happily since.

About half a year ago I met one of her ex FWB. I was out with my daughter and wife when we ran into him at the grocery.

He was nice, and very polite to us but as soon as he saw our daughter he got this shell-shocked look on his face. He asked how old she was which quickly turned into a question of paternity but not blatantly enough that our daughter caught wind of it.

Over the next few days him and my wife texted about doing a genetic test, if she was his he wanted to be in her life as he had a bum dad and didn’t want to follow in his footsteps.

We did the test not just with his sample but mine as well. He wasn’t the father and was disappointed but wished us the best, it ended that situation on a good note.

However, I’m not the father either – my dad is.

I don’t have a good relationship with my dad because of some previous history so my wife’s never met my side of the family, any of them.

I showed her pictures of my family after the shock of the initial results came back and she pointed out my dad. During her FWB time she had connected with my dad over a dating site but had only met up with him a handful of times before they’d cut it off.

My wife apologized but I told her she has nothing to apologize for. I knew this could be a possible outcome that I wasn’t the father, though I didn’t think I’d be related to the father.

She asked if I wanted to tell my dad or not and I don’t think I will. He wasn’t a good dad to me and I can change that cycle. There’s no one I can really tell about this whole situation but I needed to get it off my chest one way or another.

I love my wife and I love my daughter. Our life won’t change because of this it’s just something that keeps sitting with me.

I’ve considered maybe seeing someone so I can work through all these weird thoughts in my head. I’m not sure how I feel, though I’m mostly relieved it wasn’t her ex FWBs child because I don’t want to share my family.

Rude Gojek driver, what can I do?

So I ordered a Gojek to go home and the driver accepted my order and told me to wait 22 mins for him even though he was only 4 mins away(and continued driving away from where I was).

So I told him to cancel or I would report him and he started giving me attitude. In the end, I just canceled since I got another grab.

Apart from reporting him to Gojek customer service which I already did, what else can I do?

Netizens’ comments

• Not sure why some of the redditors here are dissing OP. Based on this post obviously the Gojek Rider was in the wrong and he have the right to lodge a complaint. I would be angry too if I was him because that driver shouldn’t even have accepted the request in the first place. Don’t claim the moral high ground please.
  OP, I think it’s best you let it go thereafter. You have reported him, that’s good enough. Pursue the matter any longer and you will just be wasting your time.
  For God’s sake people. Learn to discern between right and wrong.
• This happens a lot on Gojek, as much as I hate the high prices by Grab. I would 100% avoid Gojek and Foodpanda as their customer support really sucks. Try Tada, it has the best price to offer.
• Report to Gojek
  Give 1 star
  Send personal email to Gojek staff and management
  Feedback to customer support
  Do all 4
• Just report and move on lah. Why waste precious time letting a random stranger live rent free in your head? Being vindictive serves no real purpose either.

My wife is suddenly wanting to end a 10+ years of marriage because she fell in love with a stranger she saw on the street.

As messed as it might sound but she said something happened “inside of her” she could not explain when saw this stranger (a guy) on the street.

She said she felt like her world stopped and she found herself exiting her car and following him to the petrol station.

She swore she didn’t do anything not even take his phone number (but hey he frequents this outlet so her plan is to wait for him to come back? WTF??).

She said didn’t know why she felt this and “failed” to explain it or put it into words. So she’s now asking for a divorce…after 10+ years she’s willing to just turn around and walk away to go chase someone she doesn’t even know their name.

I’m so shocked and shaken up my reaction is to laugh even when I think about it. Like…Maybe this was a “love from first sight..” or some shit she experienced but to go as far as dnd our happy marriage just like that? I can’t believe it!.

I..I really don’t know what to say or do. I think about how my home just got wrecked by a stranger. I just feel so terrible right now.

Found out guy (33M) I’m (30F) dating doesn’t date women over thirty. Is this a red flag or am I overreacting?

I met “Mark” about a month and a half ago (maybe?) at the gym. He approached me and we hit it off. We’ve been seeing each other pretty often since then. We have a lot in common and he seems like a decent guy. The day after Christmas he asked me to be exclusive with him. I thought it was a little sudden but all my friends always rib me for coming off as an ice queen and uninterested when dating because I want to go so slow. I’ve always been hyper-analytical and never someone to take a risk without thoroughly thinking it through, but one of the promises I made to myself when I turned 30 was that I would be more spontaneous and take more chances. Anyway, I said yes but now I’m wondering if I should’ve stuck to what I know and slowed down.

On our very first date, he made a comment about how it was nice to finally meet someone IRL and not on an app or something. I felt the same and mentioned I’d been on dating apps. Turns out, he is too. We started talking about how it was so funny that we’d never come across each other on the app before and I asked to see his profile wondering if maybe I had swiped past him somehow. So, we pulled up our profiles and swapped phones. His profile seemed totally normal and attractive. I probably would’ve swiped on him. When he was looking at mine, he made some sort of comment being surprised that I was 30 and that I looked much younger. I’ve always gotten comments about looking a little younger than my age so I didn’t think anything of it at the time.

I hadn’t thought about those comments much until a few days ago when Mark invited me to his friends’ NYE party. I hadn’t met his friends before but they were all very nice and welcoming. All his friends also seemed like they were in their thirties and their partners seemed age appropriate. The night went on and everyone got pretty drunk. The guys seem like the type who like to tease and rag on their friends lovingly and eventually they started teasing Mark. They started making comments about how they couldn’t believe ‘Leo’ (no one clarified but I’m assuming this is a joking nickname related to Leonardo DiCaprio) was finally dating an ‘older woman’ and it was ‘about time he grew up’. They made a lot of comments about it (in a teasing way toward him, not me) and the vibe I got was that they just thought it was a funny quirk of his that he only dated younger women.

I didn’t react at the party because I didn’t want to bring things down for the whole group, but at breakfast the next day I kinda pressed him on this. He seemed to think I was joking at first and sorta just rolled his eyes. I kept pressing and leading the conversation and eventually he admitted that he’d never dated a woman in her thirties, thought I was 24ish when he approached me, and had his profile restricted to women 26 and down. When he saw I was not super positive about this, he immediately started telling me how great he thought I was and that’s he not that serious about the age thing, and how he really saw a future with me. I let it go at breakfast because I wasn’t quite sure how I was feeling.

I’ve been brewing on it for a few days now and I think it’s given me the ick. I don’t think dating a younger person is inherently bad but when you actively won’t date someone who is at least your own age and have created a pattern of exclusively dating younger people, I think it’s kinda weird. It makes me think he probably has some really gross ideas about women and aging. I mean, I may look 20s-ish to him now but what about when aging catches up to me as it inevitably will?

I talked to my friends and they agreed it’s a red flag, but I know our little group can sometimes be a bit of an echo chamber. He is nice, clean, and has a good job. I also would feel weird breaking up with someone after only a week, but on the other hand, I just feel totally unattracted to him now. Am I being totally crazy or is this valid to get creeped out over?