Found out guy (33M) I’m (30F) dating doesn’t date women over thirty. Is this a red flag or am I overreacting?

I met “Mark” about a month and a half ago (maybe?) at the gym. He approached me and we hit it off. We’ve been seeing each other pretty often since then. We have a lot in common and he seems like a decent guy. The day after Christmas he asked me to be exclusive with him. I thought it was a little sudden but all my friends always rib me for coming off as an ice queen and uninterested when dating because I want to go so slow. I’ve always been hyper-analytical and never someone to take a risk without thoroughly thinking it through, but one of the promises I made to myself when I turned 30 was that I would be more spontaneous and take more chances. Anyway, I said yes but now I’m wondering if I should’ve stuck to what I know and slowed down.

On our very first date, he made a comment about how it was nice to finally meet someone IRL and not on an app or something. I felt the same and mentioned I’d been on dating apps. Turns out, he is too. We started talking about how it was so funny that we’d never come across each other on the app before and I asked to see his profile wondering if maybe I had swiped past him somehow. So, we pulled up our profiles and swapped phones. His profile seemed totally normal and attractive. I probably would’ve swiped on him. When he was looking at mine, he made some sort of comment being surprised that I was 30 and that I looked much younger. I’ve always gotten comments about looking a little younger than my age so I didn’t think anything of it at the time.

I hadn’t thought about those comments much until a few days ago when Mark invited me to his friends’ NYE party. I hadn’t met his friends before but they were all very nice and welcoming. All his friends also seemed like they were in their thirties and their partners seemed age appropriate. The night went on and everyone got pretty drunk. The guys seem like the type who like to tease and rag on their friends lovingly and eventually they started teasing Mark. They started making comments about how they couldn’t believe ‘Leo’ (no one clarified but I’m assuming this is a joking nickname related to Leonardo DiCaprio) was finally dating an ‘older woman’ and it was ‘about time he grew up’. They made a lot of comments about it (in a teasing way toward him, not me) and the vibe I got was that they just thought it was a funny quirk of his that he only dated younger women.

I didn’t react at the party because I didn’t want to bring things down for the whole group, but at breakfast the next day I kinda pressed him on this. He seemed to think I was joking at first and sorta just rolled his eyes. I kept pressing and leading the conversation and eventually he admitted that he’d never dated a woman in her thirties, thought I was 24ish when he approached me, and had his profile restricted to women 26 and down. When he saw I was not super positive about this, he immediately started telling me how great he thought I was and that’s he not that serious about the age thing, and how he really saw a future with me. I let it go at breakfast because I wasn’t quite sure how I was feeling.

I’ve been brewing on it for a few days now and I think it’s given me the ick. I don’t think dating a younger person is inherently bad but when you actively won’t date someone who is at least your own age and have created a pattern of exclusively dating younger people, I think it’s kinda weird. It makes me think he probably has some really gross ideas about women and aging. I mean, I may look 20s-ish to him now but what about when aging catches up to me as it inevitably will?

I talked to my friends and they agreed it’s a red flag, but I know our little group can sometimes be a bit of an echo chamber. He is nice, clean, and has a good job. I also would feel weird breaking up with someone after only a week, but on the other hand, I just feel totally unattracted to him now. Am I being totally crazy or is this valid to get creeped out over?

My parents will divorce if I don’t break up with my (21m) girlfriend (19f).

I have a girlfriend, and my parents don’t approve of our relationship at all. Last few weeks they’ve been furious about it, and threatening to divorce. They told me not to date until I get my bachelor’s. We didn’t even do anything inappropriate- we’re just close friends, often hang out together on campus, and we’re in a swing dance club. I didn’t even tell my parents about my relationship. How did they find out? My sister (18f) also goes to same uni as me, and she always saw me walking around holding hands and eating in the cafeteria with the same girl. Instead of asking me about it she told my parents. She took pictures of us from afar, and used it as evidence against me. When I told my parents that both my girlfriend and I are legal adults, and that her parents approve of the relationship, they said, “you’ll always be a child in our eyes, and her parents don’t influence us”. They’re primarily mad because I kept my relationship a secret for so long, and secondary reason is that I’m breaking their expectations about dating.

My grades are fine and I’ve never gotten in trouble at school. What’s worse is that my sister was allowed to date as early as her freshman year. She’s even invited her boyfriends home and slept in the same bed as them, and went on vacations with their families. She’s had like 3 boyfriends already, as she gets into dating drama frequently. When I, 3 years older than her, asked my parents if I could date, they said no, because they don’t want me getting in trouble.

When I told my parents that I love my girlfriend and I’m not breaking up with her, they said that they will divorce each other if I don’t break up with her ASAP. They were forcing me to pull out my phone and text her, saying that I want to break up. I refused, arguing that they let my irresponsible, academically struggling younger sister date, but not me. My parents said that I value her over family, and that they spent 21 years raising a failure. (I’m not a failure; my sister is)

My dad hit me several times, giving me a black eye, while my mom lay on the floor crying, saying that she wishes she aborted me. Then he argued with my mom and screamed at each other. Meanwhile I grabbed my backpack with my stuff in it and drove off to my girlfriend’s house. My parents fortunately don’t know where she lives. When he noticed my car was missing, he called me but I didn’t pick up. Then he texted me asking where I am, and said that he would come get me. I told my girlfriend’s family what happened, and they offered to let me stay with them until we go back to campus.

I got my girlfriend’s dad to call my parents, and he told them to F off, and that if they keep treating me like this they will take legal action themselves. I know it’s only because she and I are very committed in our relationship, and her parents are supportive of it.

My 3yr old son escaped, and I was on my way back from work when this happened. Where was dad? In the house playing League of Legends.

That was the absolute last straw among the long list of offenses he did.

I have 2 children. My daughter is 7 and my son is 3. Both have autism.

My husband seems to prioritize his video games more than our children and it makes me angry. Years ago it was just a one off, sorry, I completely forgot, situations which didn’t happen nearly as frequently as the now. It started in the middle of lockdown, where I have to work longer hours than usual.

We are both gamers. Sometimes I’ll play a little game when I’m off work.

I’m a nurse that works 12 hour shifts. Sometimes a little gaming from time to time won’t hurt. But this man.

If he’s not working, he’s gaming. It doesn’t matter when he has 2 small children to look after. He will put on Netflix for them and lock himself in his room.

I lost count at the number of times I cut off the WiFi in the house and at one point straight up cancelled the internet because I was tired of his nonsense.

The only time the kids have anything healthy to eat is when I’m making them dinner. Husband will order anything that can be delivered. I have already told him to stop doing it since both kids are already gaining weight.

The absolute last straw was when my 3 yr old son escaped our house when I was at work. This was the 2nd time he escaped (we were both home) and since then I installed multiple alarms on every door in the house. He even had a wristband on with our phone number.

My son was later found and where’s my husband? He’s home. I get inside and what do I find? My husband behind closed doors playing league of legends. I cut off the internet and hid the router and that’s when he came out and literally saying to me wtf.

Husband said that he already put both kids to bed before getting on to play. I told him the same thing I tell him 30 times. If he’s watching the kids, the game is off. Period. Since it’s come to the point where our own son could have been kidnappened or killed, it’s over. I told him to pack his bags and leave.

Anyone who would endanger their own children over a video game, has a serious problem. I suggested he see a therapist.

I love him and I really want to make this marriage work for at the very least our kids. I’m seriously considering filing for separation while I consider the options.

I recently had the opportunity to do some business with a guy whose parents are rich.

I was initially excited about the prospect of working with someone who had access to vast financial resources, but that quickly changed as I got to know him better.

The person I was working with was a young man who had grown up with a considerable amount of wealth.

He was accustomed to having everything he wanted and had never had to work hard for anything. As a result, he had a very unrealistic view of life and was extremely unreliable.

I quickly found out that he was not interested in making any real effort to make our business partnership successful.

He was more interested in the idea of being successful and having the lifestyle that came with it than the hard work that it takes to get there.

He had a tendency to make big statements and promises that he could never deliver on.

It felt like he was just dreaming and not really interested in making anything happen. He also had a sense of entitlement and thought that he should be able to get whatever he wanted without any real effort.

This made it difficult to take him seriously and it was hard to get him motivated to do anything.

I eventually had to end the business relationship because I realized that he was not going to be reliable or make any real effort.

He was just living in a dream world and not taking any action to make his dreams come true.

Working with someone who had access to vast financial resources, but was unreliable and only interested in dreaming was a huge waste of my time and energy.

Even if he had access to resources, he still needed to take action and make an effort if he wanted to make his dreams come true.

I learned a valuable lesson from this experience and that is that money alone does not guarantee success.

It is important to surround yourself with people who are reliable, hardworking and have a realistic view of life.

People who are only interested in dreaming and not taking any action will only hold you back.

No matter how much money someone has, that does not make them reliable or successful. It is important to not get caught up in the idea of working with someone who has access to vast financial resources.

Instead, it is important to look for people who are reliable, hardworking and have a realistic view of life. This way, you can ensure that you are getting the most out of your business partnerships.

I’ve failed at life. I’m a loser.

I’m a 30 year old man with not a cent in savings, living paycheck to paycheck with my only friend in life (my dog), and working a tedious job as an oil and tire mechanic.

My wife left me after 8 years together. She said herself I’m a loser and that’s why I’ve got no friends and my family doesn’t love me (mine or hers).

But… she’s not completely wrong. My own family doesn’t like me. My dad hasn’t and never will include me in the family business, my mom pities me which is why she speaks to me at all, my sister and her husband are put off by me, and I’ve got to say none of them do or have said they love me in years.

My only “friend” speaks to me once a month and sees me less than that, but he doesn’t include me in his personal life or circle of friends. When I ask why he brushes it off, but I know it’s because he wants to keep me at arm’s length from his real friends.

Since my divorce I’ve put on weight because I drink excessively now. If I stop for too long I get the shakes. The jitteriness is terrible. But times like this week I’m too broke for booze and have to deal with it until payday Wednesday.

I’m desperate for any sort of affection that I chased away the only woman to show interest in me since the divorce. We went on two dates and my constant texting resulted in her saying we should just be friends. It wasn’t like I was professing my love in Shakespearean soliloquies, but was a steady barrage of, “How’s your day?” and “Wyd?” Because otherwise nobody but my mom talks to me anymore.

I got so lonely last year that I literally paid to get laid.

My job is dead end, but might just be getting worse because while I can do this job without any certificates or degrees, new management says he wants the yard staffed with mechanics. I can’t afford to go to school and he’s not paying for an employee to get training when he can just hire an established mechanic.

Speaking of work and school, I’ve never held a job longer than 4 or 5 years. I’ve done warehouse work, construction, and electrical before this. I’ve routinely been fired or replaced.

So there it is. Frankly, I’m certain my dog is the only living soul that loves me and she’s getting older. Once she’s gone, I’ll actually have nothing and no one at this rate.

(F25)(M26) My boyfriend threatened to cheat on me if I don’t give him children

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly 10 years now and we live together, when we agreed on dating in school I had warned him multiple times that I didn’t want to have kids, he was completely okay with this and at the time he also agreed on not having kids.

however less than year ago he started bringing subtle hints about now wanting children this become a bigger issue once marriage started coming in the picture,I’ve been delaying the idea of it since now we aren’t on the same page when it comes to children.

He talked me into the idea but I’m still not comfortable with pregnancy, my mother had a really really bad pregnancy and my doctor say I’m at risk of having the same complications with honestly terrifies me, because of this I suggested a surrogate mother, he didn’t liked this idea because he thinks that the only correct way for a pregnancy is to be natural and that maybe we should get married now and delay having children until I’m no longer selfish and childish.

His attitude towards the issue really surprised me, we rarely argue, when we do he always keeps his cool, and he’s never been aggressive towards me, this time the more I tried to talk reason with him the more angry he became eventually he said that he will just marry me and get other women to have children with and that he will only financially support them but not be present with them that much so I don’t have to see them or raise them, this for me sounds extremely cruel for everyone involved, i told him how ridiculous his idea is and he said that then maybe I should just endure a little of pain and discomfort so he can have a legacy.

Eventually I suggested breaking up since I’m willing to sacrifice but he isn’t, he started getting verbally aggressive at this because he doesn’t consider our sacrifices of equal value since for him his legacy and fulfilment as man is more important than the possible complications of pregnancy, and that if I was that much against being pregnant then I just had to stay by his side and love him while he gets other women pregnant, I couldn’t take it anymore and I left the house.

I’ve been staying at an hotel for a few days and everyday I’ve been getting messages from his friends and family saying that it’s time for me to grow up and accept that I will eventually need children, I no longer know if I’m in the right, so I wanted advice from people who can see this more objectively,

¿should I break up with him or try to make things work again?

I hope this post finds you well, for it will likely be the last and give you the closure you deserve.

I think I have figured out 9 out of 10 of the truth you shared with the third party though some are not meant for me.

I like to tell you that you are still young and will have ample time to get your unicorn eventually. Everyone processes and pursues at different speeds. This is not a competition. What is meant for you will be yours and vice versa.

I believe I am the SIM dude that you are talking about. I think you are right. You are definitely a few notches above me. I do not deserve you and your elitist fam; I can never match up to that level.

The truth is you don’t truly love me or like me for who I am. The person you love is yourself as you make various forms of comparison between us and believe yourself to be the superior one. And the person you like is what makes you think about who I am. In other words, a figurative person made up in your mind. You like the external of ‘J’ but the internal of ‘M’.

You haven’t experienced true love. That is why everything is a calculated move at the back of your mind. ‘If I give in 100%, I should get back 80%. I will cut losses if it’s beyond 20%. In addition, I should diversify my basket to expand my outreach so that this 80% can reach “C”, “D”, “E”, etc. This way I can increase my chances of getting at least 1 offer back.’

A relationship can be pretty complicated. Sometimes it requires you to use your head (top, not bottom); other times, you simply have to follow your heart. And intuition helps us sieve out genuinity (from the heart) vs. calculated moves (from the head).

I must say I have known you more as a person seeing you act yourself than pretending to be someone you are not (as you have felt so yourself). Everyone deserves love; don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

If you wish to meet someone like that, perhaps the next time, you should be more certain of who and what you want first instead of playing a mathematician.

At the end of the day, we entered a relationship to embrace and love the person for who they are, not what we hope them to be. If you want to change someone, that person is not for you.

Lastly, if you think that your partner will cheat on you before even getting into a relationship, this relationship is not for both of you. We can all tell where things are going south (E.g., in an argument, A will comment on how B is behaving promiscuously. And B will comment on how A has a foulmouth.) Where do you think this is headed?

The last thing you would want to do is convince someone else that your partner is not indecent, etc., when you believe him/her to be so. A relationship is a two-way street. It doesn’t matter how much one party works hard. If the person harbors an ill mindset against the other party, the other person can sense it. Not to mention when the whole community already felt a certain way about that person’s partner. I hope you can make the decision for yourself in the future because you will be the one living with it. Love yourself more, and don’t look to seek validation from others. I have always believed in loving ourselves first, and things will fall into place.

With that said, it doesn’t mean we ignore others’ feelings, needs/wants. We should still be an empath and listen intently but filter the negativity accordingly, so we don’t end up draining ourselves. Learn the art of balance. I hope you don’t take this as a lecture but my two cents from the bottom of my heart about what I have learned about us and my love for you as a friend.

Also, I heard you felt you could click with ‘M’ but require some work from ‘M’. I believe you know how much ‘M’ likes you and is willing to work for you by now. I will give you both my blessing and not brief a single word to ‘M’ about what happened. You can have my word for that.

As we close off this chapter and move on to the next, I hope we have both learned something from this experience and take that to be a better someone for the next. I wish you the best from afar and hope the best for you.

Hey guys hope you had a great new year. I don’t really know if I’m looking for advice or just to rant so please bear with me. Admins please post this? ????

It’s actually about this girl from my course.

She’s really quiet, looks wise not too bad and she’s really sweet. Hands down the sweetest girl I’ve ever met, she’s genuinely caring, generous and very humble even though she’s really rich and smart (typical RGS girl). There’s only one issue; she’s EXTREMELY unhygienic and filthy.

She rarely washes her oily hair and has a habit of rewarding her clothes. She also has the same unwashed hoodie that she’s been using every day for at least the 2 years that I’ve known her.

At first I thought she was just naturally oily and pimple prone until we organised an early Christmas party (second week of December). Long story short we played with fake powdered snow and it got everywhere. Our group met up again a few days later and one of the girls commented to her discreetly that she had “dandruff” but upon closer inspection I realised that it was the powdered snow. She washed/rinsed her hair afterwards and we had another get together for the New Years. She didn’t have any of the powdered snow in her hair but when she pulled her hair back behind her ears, I s2g she had it around her ear canal. I nearly threw up thinking about it because it’s been more than 2 weeks and somehow she didn’t wash her ears or shower because that powdered snow washes off really easily.

Our dinner was at this western grill place i observed her while she ate a lamb rib then look around for more tissues and couldn’t find any near her so she reached down under the table and wiped her oily fingers either on her jeans or the underside of the table then “washed” them with the condensation on her drink.

Actually she’s a really sweet girl but she’s so fucking dirty and unhygienic that it’s a massive turn off 0/10 and idk if I should say anything or just pretend not to notice. Has anyone ever met someone like that before? She’s 20+ btw

M, 29, 170.5cm tall – hoping to be taller. Friends around me are at least 180cm tall.

Recently, I came across a youtuber- a*tem*s with a 1 year old video about some height gain video via stretching exercises.

As I scrolled through the replies, I am amazed at the number of positive replies claiming that they grew a few inches taller after the exercises.

I am curious about what are you guys’ opinions on this? The claims do not seem to be fake because almost all the replies are successful testimonials with hundreds of likes. I am still having a hard time finding a negative comment to disprove the claims.

I am kinda desperate now because I have been playing basketball for 3 years but to no avail. Being someone who has been outtalled and bullied at basketball courts, I am on the verge of giving up on b ball… All the 6 footers will be challenging me to a game of basketball where I will definitely be disadvantaged, to the point I cant even play the game by myself in peace….

Here are what netizens think:

• bro, you are 29 already. I’m afraid the ship has sailed for any chance of a second growth spurt. sure you can try whatever methods but those aren’t actual gain in height, just ‘temporary stretch’, like how our height can vary over the day. live with it. your self esteem is not determined by your height

• Bro… trust me.. u don’t want to be so tall… u will encounter problems like what I encounter… walking in the mall and accidentally knee into small kids knocking them down and the parents will death stare you.

• The fact that you’re “having a hard time finding a negative comment to disprove the claims” tells me you probably have more important things to work on as an adult…

• My teammate in the local national basketball league is 10cm shorter than you but still a very impactful player. Heart over height!

So I have known this guy for a while and I think we have mutual interest in each other.

Recently he told a ‘third party’ that we know mutually that he has several frustrations towards me that I am unaware of.

Some context is that I have a lot of guy friends in my circle. I have known for over a decade, and some I knew would always have my back. We are very playful when we are together because why not? Life is too short to be serious all the time. Besides, we have been like this since we met each other.

So I heard of a few frustrations but to be honest, idk what the whole thing is also la. Like this third party blabbering this that this that. Idk what is this that la. But one thing I can relate to is having fun with my bros lo.

So one day he asks what I am doing, and I being stupid, just say the truth lo. Then you know what? He called me ‘chicken’ ley. In translation is like, you know geylang chicken? Wah I blank out sia.

Never in my life have I met someone so disrespectful. So I got real pissed off, I just stop contacting him.

Afterall you cannot teach someone to respect you when they show zero respect right? Like you cannot explain to a dumbo what is wrong when they are dumb right?

Then hor idk he ki siao or what start showing me he hang out with a group of girls. I’m like okay lo. Fair ma, I got my male friends who am I to comment about him having girlfriends right. But I won’t call him quack quack la cos I am not raised to stoop to the level when they are being rude ma. But biang as I look back still angry sia. After that he said sorry, so tho I am still angry, I decided to letgo la. Ppl make mistakes and we cant always harp on to it.

For the rest of frustrations idk what is the blabbering about. But would y’all give up friends you knew for over a decade or always have your back in life and death situation over someone you knew for a couple of months? For me is a no brainer thing. If I have to choose between friendship and relationship, maybe this is not the relationship right? Relationship is about growing, complimenting etc. The way I see it is like shrinking, devaluing me, demoralizing. Who is to blame? Me lo kiampa.

The funny thing is he said he told me many times he didn’t like this that this this this. whatto??? Like what is this what is that and when huh?? Biang idk ley. halp la. Then I found out he string many girls along and still dared call me chicken??? kns ley. I said aiya you like so much then you go find one of the girls lo. Then he went. Haahha I give up la. Thanks for listening to the rant but would love to hear your thoughts too