I slapped my BF after I told him to stop making jokes about my father’s death, what should I do?

Me (F23) and my BF (M22) were having a joke. He was doing the dishes while I was cleaning the photos on the wall.

I was wiping the dust from my father’s photo who passed away 14 months ago from a sudden heart attack at the age of 52.

While I was telling him about his time in the army, he made jokes about his death.

At first, I told him that while I like dark humour, I would rather that he doesn’t make jokes about his death. He ignored my request and told me some joke about my father’s ashes in an ashtray.

I was pissed off at this point. I slapped him and grabbed him throat while saying that if he says anything about him, I will end him.

After he nodded, I released my grip and apologized suddenly while shaking out of emotions. He said it was fine and got into his car and drove off to perhaps his parents home.

I am still shaking now and I have already gone through a pack of cigarettes in an hour due to stress and anxiety.

We have been going out for 2 years now and he attended my father’s funeral. I honestly feel like shit and I would do anything for him to forgive me and to come back.

I’m not too sure if this is the right place to post. Admin please do not delete this. I really need some insight regarding this issue.

I’m a female 24, graduated from NUS about a year ago. To all the female solo travellers, I would like to know if this has ever happened to any of you before and how do ya’ll react to this.

As with the majority of solo traveller, we tend to stay at a hostel due to its cheap rates. I have been solo travelling and staying in hostel most of the time. Often I do not face any issue and find it to be very very safe.

However, recently while I was backpacking to Thailand and staying in a hostel, I found out that a few of my bra, panties and clothes were stolen. What’s worst was that some of my used bra and panties had cum stain in them.

I was utterly shocked as this had never happened to me before. I tried to tell the hostel staff but they said they could not do anything about it as they have placed a disclaimer to remind the tenants to take care of their belongings. They did offer to make a police report but that didn’t help much as I was about to head home in a few days. Looking through the CCTV also didn’t help as there were multiple people entering the room at different times, making it hard to tell who stole exactly.

What’s worst was that there’s this other female tenants whose lingerie was stolen and stain with cum as well.

I just want to know if this is common or has every happen to other solo female traveller before. If so, how do ya’ll react to such situation? What are your next precautionary steps.

if anybody is finding a part time job, please do not go to *company name redacted*. i am not so sure about other outlets but the outlet i work at *address redacted* is hella understaffed.

as they are under staffed, i am OTing every day.the managers are shit, pay is shit and there is no work life balance at all.

the pay is $12/hour which is mid for a job at orchard. i am now working at the food area, it is effing shit. hella understaffed and i hardly see managers doing shit.

they once made me ot untill midnight and i still have not been reimbursed for the grab ride. i work >44 hours per week which is way more than other part timers

sorry just wanted go rant abit and hopefully prevent people from working at *company name redacted*

Netizens’ comments

• “hey guys please do not work at this place. I am still working here and drawing a pay but all of you guys who are looking for a job because you need money please don’t come”
• hi OP, i suggest you check out banquet jobs! the pay is higher at around 13-14 per hour, the shifts are more flexible in the sense you get to choose your slots and you also have daily/weekly pay!
• You’re being paid on an hourly basis, so you working more hours literally means more money in your pocket.
  Most people that are complaining about OTing are people that are salaried, so the conversation is completely different.
• $12/hr is mid for a part time job???
  man, I can already hear your screams if you were born 10 years earlier. You’d be working for $5/hr at Mcds
• Work life balance is more of a myth than reality. If you’re young and already expecting this, you’re very likely going to struggle if you also expect or want financial success.

He’s 29 I am 23. We know each other from dating app and go exclusive for less than a year.

He really dotes on me a lot through monetary but sometimes I just feel insecure.

He is the one who suggests to go exclusive.

However this exclusive period for 7 months, he didn’t ask if he wants me to be his gf but we are just like in a relationship. He will introduce me to his friends and biological sisters, travel together, buy me airticket whenever I say “I miss home (Malaysia)”, delivers me food whenever I work late, links his credit card to my grab app and even talks to me about BTO.

I got quite confused and asked him few times, “what are we?” He always just shrug off the topic or just say something like “whatever you think we are.” I am a bit insecure recently because he is always on his phone these days when we date and sometimes tilted his phone away from me (which he never done that before).

Yes, monetary wise he showered me a lot, and of course I buy him things too.

Emotionally, I would say he tries to comfort me whenever I am angry at him but after apologising he will just say “I have apologise, what you want me to do?” Or “you’re just too sensitive, think whatever you like la.” And the next day after our arguments, he text like normal again.

Guys, help, I dk what are we.

Here are what netizens think:

• I’m old. Didn’t know relationships got terms like exclusive. So you do consignment too? What’s the margin?

• One thing’s for sure… you’re definitely not in a relationship. You’re just dating.

• If he refuse to give you the formal title of girlfriend, then just quit it bah. He’s just treating you like a play date. No point. If he really take you seriously, he would have ask you out formally. Instead of giving excuses like “ whatever you think we are la”

• Don’t think too much. Enjoy this friendship. He’s a friend. Only that he’s a boy. Maybe he’s trying to move on after a breakup. And finds you suitable to keep him company along the way.

I went clubbing and I randomly got kissed by a girl, my gf says it’s my fault and broke up with me after 4 years. What should I do?

Hello everyone, I (22 M) went clubbing with one of my friends (21 M). We go clubbing every two weeks, to have kind of a guys night.

My friend is single which plays a part in this story. We were standing outside for a smoke when suddenly two girls approached us and asked for a cigarette.

We got into a bit of small talk nothing flirty from my side, while one of the girls kinda flirted with my friend (I supported it, since I know he’s upset that he ain’t in a relationship).

While they were talking, I got into a conversation with the other girl and we were talking about family since they were hiding the fact from their parents that they’re clubbing (strict family, just like mine, so it was a really polite conversation).

After that we went inside all together, we went near the bar, so I was just standing there getting something to drink, while I was doing that, I saw my friend making out with that one girl.

Her friend (the one that was talking to me about her family) came over to me and told me that she didn’t expect that, so I was just saying that me neither since my friend is such an introvert normally, we had a good laugh because of that conversation.

Suddenly she tried to kiss me but I just turned my head away (she still achieved to kiss my cheek) and pushed her slightly away, my friend did the same after he noticed and she apologized and went along.

I told my GF that yesterday and she believes that there was some flirting going on. Since I didn’t drink I can truthfully say that there was nothing going on and nothing could’ve been misunderstood, I even think that girl just thought f it let’s do it.

My now ex-GF broke up with me after 4 years and believes it’s my fault. She thinks I messed up and that she had enough of me.

Can someone please help me? I really wanna fight for her, but she told me that the kiss of that girl hurt her more than breaking off contact with me.

Thanks in advance everyone!

Regarding my gambling bf. Thanks for sharing your story. And all the comments regarding my post. Appreciate all the positive and negative comments. I feel so nice writing here as I don’t really talk to my frns abt this kind of stuff.

So it all started when he get to know my brother-in-law and his friends. I brought him to meet my family members during cny. He got close to my brother-in-law real quick through poker.

My bro in law was playing poker with his frns and asked if he wanna join too. They started to play poker during cny season, most every night. I was mad but i did not say much as he would said aiya, only cny ma. Don’t worry. So I don’t really mind.

My father used to be a gambler but then he started to change at one point of life.

Idk when but i rmb was quite old like 50s? Now he is in 70s. He always regretted he gamble so much and wish he could save more money. Now he is retired and i am supporting to pay all the utility and bills with 2 of my sisters. 2 of my bros do not save money and often borrow money from us. Now my father has changed. Im grateful for that. But the worst part is, now my mum is the one keep gambling away all the money. She often borrow money from family member to pay back all the debts. Idk how much she owe but I am so tired keep nagging her over the same thing. So from my background, you can see that I don’t really like gambler. I always help them and feel like is my responsibility to help them. Of course the responsibility come with a lot of stress. I sometimes cry out of nowhere.

Some comments mentioned that it’s just a phase and it’s normal that guys play poker as a hobby as it is a probability and social game. I do really hope that it’s just a phase. Sorry for the long story, back to my bf. My brother actually came back from oversea few months back and he kinda knw my bf likes to play poker through my brother in law. So he invited my bf to join so I thought it was ok. One time only ma. And my brother gonna fly soon. Soon i regretted, as everything started from there. They created a whatsapp group and he often play poker like almost every weekend or sometimes even weekdays. He reduces it to 2 days per month now as i used the break up card. If im in a good mood, i would allow him to go more as he will randomly hint me the whatsapp group got ppl jio.

Now my brother fly back oversea dy, he still ply often as he is close to my brother’ frns now. Lmao I don’t even know whether this is a good thing.

Lets talk abt winning. He losses quite alot in the first few mths, paying tuition fees. Often time, he would mentioned that he use alot of money and the fact i know he losses money as he usually don’t mention abt this since he is earning quite a decent salary. He would pay for most of our meals. Even when he losses money, he still bought me a bag and perfume. I would buy expensive gift for him during some occasion as well. He is telling me now he is getting the hang of the poker game and always sharing me the fun thing during the game.

The thing I’m concerned is, he bought a condo and probably can get the house key nx year. If he continues like this, will he able to save up money for renovations and furniture or even house loan. I just feel insecure. We have discussed about this concern of mine and he mentioned that he will control the limit and reassure me that i do not have to worry.

I will give it some time and if this is phase won’t change or is getting worse then i will eventually give up.

Basically about 9 months ago I met a girl off a dating app, who completely hid the fact that 18 months prior suffered a stroke leaving her paralysed in her legs and most of her arm and in a wheelchair.

Already when we matched she wasn’t my type but her comment on my profile was witty so I matched with her anyway.

I was quite shocked when I saw the motorised wheelchair, but decided to give her a chance and continued with the date.

The date went well however I noticed that she struggled a bit with talking for long stretches because of her stroke and she said that it was like trying to think after doing a 18 hour shift but all the time.

by the second date, she invited herself up to my home where we made out and took things further. I was the first guy she’d been with since the accident since most guys would ghost her once they saw the wheelchair, so she hadn’t been with any guys in over 2 years. She said she hadn’t really given “b” jobs before, but when I say this girl was a master, it was the truth. She was mindblowing.

Her throat game was unbelievable.. I swear she didn’t stop for air for at least 45 seconds at some point, and she completely loved every second of it.

I remember it was so good she had me scratching my forehead, over my eyes, down to my cheeks and when I “came”, I think my soul left my body, to which she stopped, stuck out her tongue, swallowed it and told me “you’re not done yet”, and then continued until I came yet again super quick like 3 mins later.

We kept seeing each other a couple of more times, unfortunately, she wanted a relationship. and I really contemplated having one with her but something felt wrong being with her, with her brain difficulties.

I felt like if it was only physical disabilities, it’s not really a deal breaker, but I felt like that there was such a large mental gap it felt predatory, I know in my heart and actions I was nothing but respectful and treated her like a genuine human being putting aside her disabilities.

But the mental difference wasn’t something I could get over personally. It felt like i was doing the wrong thing with an imbalanced power dynamic between us. even though I did nothing wrong technically, it felt wrong to me, So I ended it and stopped seeing her.

Was I wrong to break up with her? Or was I wrong to even go out with her in the first place?

Is it true that taller girls tend to look more ‘airport’?

I am a girl and most of my taller female friends (17X + cm) doesnt seem to have any assets, front or back. They have been working out at the gym for months but still, it doesnt accentuate their curves from what I see.

Not that I am trying to show off, but I am naturally born with a nice figure and tend to get more attention from guys (Maybe being shorter is good?) The fact is, I dont even hit the gym and yet I have an athletic figure.

In fact, some of my female friends have been eating sour grapes lately, claiming that a rich guy who is trying to court me is purely after my looks. I mean cmon, in this era, where can you find a non pragmatic person? If you have the assets to offer, by all means you deserve a rich guy, so I dont understand what rights do they have to complain???

They really need to get good first in terms of their appearance before trashtalking.

Here are what netizens think:

• Which derelict airport runway have you been living under that you haven’t seen girls upward of 170-180 and not decently endowed? There’s no point being a supposed shortstack with a distasteful attitude towards other girls.

• So the main thing is to tell us you are curvy and all la? Here’s my thumbs-up: I only give thumbs-up for people who needa self-validate.

• Mirror mirror on the wall….be nice!! Looks alone do don’t make a person beautiful including how tall they are.

what is the worst case of princess syndrome that you have heard of?

I have this friend that is 35 years old and she told me that she has never did any household chores before. She does not know how to wash dishes and fold clothes and refuses to learn.

She is barely making 3k a mth and she spends her money lavishly every mth racking up credit card bills.

She spends her whole day gaming at work, and refuses to take on responsibilities whenever she is needed.

Whenever her credit card bill gets too ridiculous, she just requests her mum to clear her debt for her. She does not come from a rich family and her parents are retired.

She demands that her bf meet her 3x a week and send her home every time even though they stay far apart. I am quite appalled to know that someone can actually live her life like this. Is this common?

Netizens’ comments

1. Wah this friend of yours still got a bf???
2. Sorry to say but she is dead weight
3. Not knowing chores is fine, not learning if there’s a need is not. Getting others to settle your shit is really really terrible.

Got ghosted after a 2-month situation and I don’t know how to save this rs.

I don’t want to ask for closure or just end things, but want to give her a way to start talking again without feeling the pressure to explain herself.

Or if I’m the reason she’s ghosting, I want to talk it out with her and try to fix things. How should I talk to her about this?

How it started

So I met a girl and it’s pretty obvious we have mutual interests in each other. We text every day and go out every week, we reciprocated each other’s flirting and physical touch. We were damn sweet like the kind that’ll cook for each other, prepare surprise gifts or like stand there to watch each other leave when saying goodbye

I was planning to confess but out of nowhere she hasn’t replied for 10 days and ignored all texts to meet. I triple-texted her already. I feel like she’s intentionally cutting it off.

I know if she really intends to cut that I should just let it go and not pester her but it really feels sad to let this go like this. I rlly value her and want to at least try to save this rs, please dun tell me to just leave her in the comments :’)

She’s also the quiet, shy, non-confrontational type, if I don’t reply it will probably just fizzle out. I don’t think I should pressure her to explain the ghosting cause she will prob be too shy to explain the real reason. And if she feels too pressured or awkward it might ruin any opportunity to start talking again in the future (say after finals when she’s in a better headspace)

I just thought we’re off to a good start, but I hope we can talk things out to see if there’s any misunderstanding or if there’s anything I can do to change or make things right. Honestly if it’s because she saw some red flag in me, I’d like to see if it’s something I can do to change. How can I communicate with her without sounding needy or stressful to her?

Admins, please help this lost soul and dun filter this:( I really like her

Here are what netizens think:

• chill. if she’s willing to open up and talk to you again.. she will, eventually. stop pestering her. give her some peace and quiet. it’s very clear she doesn’t wanna talk, okay. respect her decision. if you guys are meant to be, you’ll meet her again. chill. it’s good you do want to reflect and make changes for the better. but sometimes you may not be the problem. don’t always find fault in yourself for other people’s action.

• I get ghosted too. But Ive got other things going on for me. Or maybe I already expected this to happen. Either way Im not too affected by it.

• Maybe try to talk face 2 face in real life. ( not sure if you can ask her out if she is still ignored your message) Make sure the environment is chill and she is comfortable to share her side of story. I’m sure she has her reason or she’s just recovering from her past relationship. And she is not obligated to stay with you if this is ‘situationship’ in the first place. Don’t pester her more if she doesn’t give any reply as this will probably be a turn off