Is sleeping with someone while separated cheating?

Me and the wife separated almost a year ago. We agreed not sleep with anyone until we got a divorce just in case we worked it out.

We pretended to live like we weren’t. I still paid the bills, we still slept together, still did holidays together.

Long story short, she’s been sleeping with someone pretty much the whole time. She claims it’s not cheating since we were separated.

I’m not for sure what to think anymore. Just numb.

Netizens’ comments

• Cheating or no, this should pretty much kill the working things out option.
• She lied and betrayed your trust. Arguing over the label is pointless.
  If you are separated it was unwise to pretend to live like you weren’t because this situation was likely to happen.
  Now you know it’s the right decision to end it.
• Of course she is cheating. The both of you had an agreement to not sleep with anyone during the separation, she is breaking that agreement.
  I would say the separation is over and you should proceed with divorce.
• Well everyone’s perception and idea of what constitutes cheating is different and whilst I will say her breaking her end of the agreement is pretty shitty and she should’ve had the decency to be upfront, I think after a year it’s as good as done.

I am in my 30s, married with a young child and currently working at a company in an office role that I genuinely like.

Some of the things that I like are – Working arrangements are flexible, no dress code, working relationship with the boss is great, doesn’t micromanage, the office is quite near mrt and the walking journey is sheltered.

The only thing is that the pay for my role is lower (by at least 20%) than what i know to be the market rate (based on input from peers and salary ranges on mycareersfuture).

I have reached out to my boss regarding this and he said that he will see what he can do.

Latest news was that HR is working out the numbers and have not gotten back to him. It’s been a month since I reached out. Given the recession, I would say that I do not have high hopes/expectations on the outcome. My wife thinks that I should just get out there and look for better paying opportunities.

She is not pushy on this, which is great.

Is it selfish of me to not want to look for other better paying opportunities? My primary concern is having to give up my current working conditions in exchange for the increased salary which might not be sustainable (e.g. Harsher working conditions, not flexible, etc).

What would be a good % jump (in salary) in your opinion for me to heck it all and make the plunge to look for a new role in the great unknown?

Here are what netizens think:

• The risk is that you could get paid 20% but then your working hours also increase 20%. And you might have crappy bosses/colleagues, inflexible working arrangements etc…

• there is no magic number here. Most ppl jump for a 10-20% increment. But the actual workload, office politics etc can only be seen after you joined. So that is a risk. Some ppl deal with those better some prefer a comfort zone in current company.

• If i am getting by comfortable already, I wont move. Its not about the money, I’d rather have all the working condition rather than 20% extra.

Asking for my fiance, how to deal with narc peri-menopausal future MIL that will scold and preach not to do certain things then go do the exact same thing, and never ever apologise?

“I don’t want to say sorry!” – my mother, even when clearly she’s in the wrong, but still blames my partner for something totally ????.

(For context, she shouted at my partner for blocking her fan. Yes. Blocking her fan wind. I was shocked. I thought she thought she was shouting at me, but she knew it was him. And still shouted at him to move. Told her after she’s totally in the wrong for that, she says that he did that on purpose, either that or he is inconsiderate for blocking her fan accidentally/ unknowingly. Siao.)

Today she has said to me that she doesn’t like me (not the first time she’s told me this; I know long ago so I don’t care) and my partner (27M) too. Apparently he’s “changed” and last time used to like him now cannot stand him. Started to warn me about all men are the same, will change after marriage etc. (Projection much?), that she just trying to protect me etc. Lol.

BTO ready only years later, I can’t stay at their place because of…reasons. Only he can come and stay. Initial plan was rental, but too ex for us, then changed to once a week stay over even after ROM.

How ah?

Im not new to having friends with benefits (FWB). From all the guys ive been fwb with, he is the first to ever asked for keys, wanted me to cook for him, and he even asked me to wash his shirt that he used for gym. (Note: i never cooked nor washed his laundry but he keeps requesting it from me).

Im at a loss. Granted, we never discussed what our relationship status was but i always assumed he knew from the start that it was a fwb situation because i asked him to come to my place on our first date and whenever i message him it was always for him to come over (in the middle of the night). And we met on a dating app.

A few days prior, he invited me over to a party. The party consisted two of his closest childhood friends. I didnt come to the party by the way because i thought it would be weird for us to hangout if we r not sleeping together.

The next day i asked him how the party was and he said it was all right. I said im sorry i couldnt come as i was busy (i really am not) and he said its all right.. he said he was just thankful to me. I dont know what he meant by that but i didnt ask how come he was thankful. I just said “really?” And he said “really.”

I asked him “why? im pretty rude to you most of the time” and he said “its ok, still thankful”

So i dont know what this means. Is he trying to turn this into a relationship or is he developing feelings?

Can i ask for any advice on how to ask him how he feels or should i wait it out and see if he asks me to dtr? Thanks!!

Edit: I never cooked for him. I never did his laundry. I never gave him keys to my home.

He is 39 turning 40 i just turned 28. He is a professional athlete and im a law student.

(First I just want to acknowledge that in the grand scheme of things, this is a far better problem to have than so many people have here and I realize I’m lucky in that sense, but I still just need to vent.)

I’m a guy and I think I give up on being with women. I’m throwing in the towel. The reason is simply because I have a small manhood, I mean really small. I realize I’m far from the first guy to have this problem or to vent about it, I know that because I’ve read their posts and seen people trying to make them feel better, but the problem is their encouragements just don’t ring true to me.

I get it, girls don’t need guys with a huge peepee to come, the most sensitive areas are just a few inches in, it’s how you use it, you can also do oral and use fingers and toys, etc. But the fact is, most girls like the feeling of, well, being filled, and I can’t come close to that. Moreover, part of intimacy is that attraction to the other person, it’s like how you eat with your eyes before you eat with your mouth when it comes to food. Well, I have nothing on my plate and can’t expect a girl to be attracted to down there.

I also understand that there is more to life, but intimacy is part of life. Here’s the thing, if I really like a girl, I want the best for her. I don’t want her to have to “settle” in such a huge way for me. I don’t to feel like she could do better in this big aspect of life and she has to sacrifice just because she likes me.

So I’ve been in relationships. I’ve been dumped because of this, and I’ve had the other end with the girl soldiers on and “settles” for me but I feel too guilty to continue. And I’m just snapping. I give up. I don’t feel like a man. I’ve started to explore feminization and cuckold fetishes simply because I feel like at least then this massive failure might be a good thing? I know I’m not making sense but basically I hate that I love women but feel like I’m not equipped, literally, to be a fully satisfying partner.

One of the HDB flats next to me, not sure if it’s the above immediately above or by the sides likes to play loud music at late hours into the night.

Sometimes around midnight, sometimes at 3 am or 5 am.

Anyways, one time I lost my cool and shouted out the window to shut the F up because it was around 4 am and they were blasting loud music on their phone while showering. Because I didn’t know which neighbour exactly, I just yelled “whoever playing the loud music, shut up, I’m trying to sleep”.

Of course, I shouldn’t have reacted in that manner.

Anyways, it stopped for a while after that but now has resumed.

I am wondering what official and legal measures I can take to scare the living sheet out of my neighbor so that he stops.

Call the cops on them? NEA? Please give me any information on how to put the fear of God in them BUT only through proper means.

I don’t want to end up becoming a nuisance myself in dealing with these inconsiderate bastards.

I don’t want to fight fire with fire.

Here are what netizens think:

Had this same problem like yours as well but for my case, I know the culprit. Email HDB with video prove and HDB replied, “we have contacted the unit and they deny any noise.

Called the non emergency police number. They took the details but didn’t bother to visit the unit.

So what I did, I shouted at them over the window because I lost my cool and they kept their volume low for now.

Tbh, there’s nothing we can do about them. Authorities are useless as well. Sometimes you just have to fight fire with fire.

No use, CMC and CDRT is useless. You can solve your problem by buying a noise cancelling headphone or a pair ear plugs.

These kind of inconsiderate people are like pests, they need negative reinforcements. Find the bathroom, it should be the only few lit up at these ungodly hours. Fling something that won’t break their bathroom windows.

Otherwise, get really thick sound absorbing black curtains and a good pair of earplugs. You can get them for pretty cheap on Shopee, try those and if they don’t work well, get customized earplugs from Faith Hearing, around $160 the last time I went.

Singaporean guys, are you ever into older girls? What about those girls make you want to date them?

Just recently graduated from uni and started a new job. Its been 2 months into my new job and I realised that there are 2 guys who seem interested in me and they are much younger than me.

I’m 24, one of them is 20 (just recently ORD) and another one really doesn’t one to declare his age to me and even told me does age even matters (He told me he is still serving NS).

These guys will tend to go up to my desk to have conversations and disturb me at times. This shocks me cause I have always been into older guys or maybe don’t mind someone 1 year younger than me.

But these 2 guys one being 4 years apart, how can they still be interested in me after I declared my age to them.

Cause I have always thought that guys prefer younger girls. Never ever once thought that younger guys will be into me until I started working

Netizens’ comments

• One of my friends married his wife who is 16 years his senior. He was 30, she was 46.
  Sometimes guys really truly love their wife regardless of age or wrinkles. Sometimes guys are just thinking with the small head and if you’re attractive even at an older age they’d still try.
  Those guys probably find you attractive in one way or another.
• Both under 25. ROFL. I thought this was a 40 year old and 25 year olds

I’m so broke I’m eating a single piece of toast a day because all I can afford for the week is a loaf of bread. oh and I had to become an escort again.. cool

Title says it all Not telling anyone in my family. Haven’t even told my parents I got fired. Too ashamed to talk to them about it.

when they asked me how my job was going, in my head I was like, “well I got fired yesterday” but i said ‘oh ya know the jobs great’

when my dad said to me, ‘well I think this is the longest job you’ve ever had’ my soul died a little tbh..

so irritated with the world and adulthood and everything. I want to go live in a tree house for the rest of my days I’m so stressed and so frustrated and overwhelmed..

adulthood was supposed to be fun, now I’m more miserable than I have ever been in my life .. once an escort, always an escort.. when all else fails. Selling your body to make ends meet.

Christmas coming up and I’m over here like not even able to afford food and people are out buying $1000 purses and shoes and shit.

‘Kelong’ is a term many have heard from their friends that likes to place bets on football matches.

But is it true?

Here is the researched

By definition:

A term used in Singapore / Malaysia to indicate cheating, to achieve an objective by non appropriate means.A football game between two teams has been fixed such that Team A will win, even before the game commences. Team A has ‘kelong’ the game.

Does Kelong ever happen?

Case 1:

Yes it does, in 2013 a Singaporean man was detained for over 2 years for suspicion of being the mastermind behind a global football match-fixing syndicate.

Tan Seet Eng, also known as Dan Tan, was imprisoned in October 2013 after Italian authorities accused him of directing a global crime ring that corrupted Italian matches and other international games. He has repeatedly denied any misconduct.

Case 2:

Wilson Raj Perumal (born in Singapore) is a convicted match-fixer.

Perumal has been charged in various match-fixing incidents, including Asiagate in 2007-2009 and the Finnish match-fixing affair in 2008-2011. In 1995, he was sentenced to prison in Singapore for match-fixing.  Perumal came to England in the same year on behalf of a Singaporean match-fixing leader to manipulate two FA Cup matches.

Do you think football matches are real?

Think twice before placing any bets as such cases exist, these are just criminals from Singapore (One of the safest and lowest crime rate city in the world.)

who’s to say it does not happen anywhere else?