Gossipy and petty boyfriend…
This is just to rant about my ex!
I recently just dated a 32 yr old boy for about a month. He was all nice and ok but I start to realise that he gets really upset when things go a little out of control.
When waiting time gets longed than the estimated time given, he gets frustrated and would need to complain (but only to me, if service staff walk pass, he quiet like mute.). If we’re late because he wanted to park further to save on parking fee, it’s because I walked too slow and have bad time management.
Like he has so much to comment and complain. A few times when we went out and say someone has pram on the escalator and he would comment on how inconsiderate they are. But he was standing at the right side of me too, which made him just as inconsiderate. Then there is the people who put bags on the MRT seats, the parents who doesn’t quiet their kids down, the shop with messy shelves, the movie that is overrated and overpriced. The food which previous restaurant tasted better.
There was once that I told him not to be so kaypoh and his face blackened. He started giving me cold shoulder for the whole day.
Everytime we went out on date, he is always talking about other people and all the gossipy dramas he heard during work. Like he enjoy these gossip sessions and forming small groups like primary school kids. But he gets so engrossed by these gossips, not even about him but he feel it’s about him in some indirect indirect ways, (you know like auntie’s grandma’s sister’s cousin, friend’s relationship kind of way) that it sometimes affected him. I tried to convince him not to overthink things and just focus on work but he can give a 10 minute speech about why the friend of a junior worker in the other department can affect his work and how people will judge him.
He would sometimes ask me for my opinion only to feel offended when I have different views. I feel really tired at times because he will just go on and on about these gossips and negative things. Sometimes he gets so affected when talking about it that he gets moody.
He often feel like people are either out to judge or look down on him but it’s all in his damn mind. Who has the free time to keep judging him? He is the one going around judging everyone.
My last straw was when I brought him home to meet my family on his request. My 7 year old niece was there and she childishly commented that he has lesser hair than her dad (my brother) and OMG, I could see his face changed. (Fact: his hair is indeed thinning) The little girl quickly ran away as she felt his change. My brother pretended he didn’t hear because it would just make things more embarrassing. Throughout the day he tried to force smiles but it’s still obvious he is unhappy.
I quickly find an excuse to bring him out. And he exploded, criticizing how no upbringing my niece was, commenting how she is too talkative, not respectful towards adults… blah and that my brother and SIL failed as parents… That’s it, you cannot even tolerate a kid’s innocent words and have to drag my family in? It seems like everyone is at fault because he is unhappy.
I told him to go home first and then called him that night to break up with him. I told him Our personality don’t click. But he think otherwise, he also think there are ways to click. In the end, I gave up trying to be nice and told him I cannot be with a boy who couldn’t regulate his own emotions and have to blame everyone but himself for everything. He was offended and then quickly turn defensive. I just hang up the phone.
I quickly got bombarded by his calls and text with curses and such. Even calculating about how much time and money he spent on me (lucky we mostly go dutch). Blocked, end of story.
Not surprising he went on to badmouth me to our mutual friends. Whatever, they know me well enough.
It’s not real love, it’s Stockholm syndrome
