A man shared a story disgruntling people who have the title of manager as he felt that the manager only sends an email and has no actual skills. No wonder he is still not a manager, his mindset is so wrong.

Here is the story:

Why do jobs with the “Manager” in the title warrant such high pay? Associate Manager, BD Manager, Product Manger, Project Manager etc.

Correct me if I am wrong, but these people (often) don’t have domain expertise (ie hard skills) and rely on their soft skills which arguably is so easy. ie just write reports (as long as the general proposal/direction makes sense), reply emails, user outreach, “manage” technical people (which may include designers, artists, writers, producers, engineers, on the ground staff doing manual work etc).

In this case, I am not referring to managers who are domain experts like Art Directors, Engineering Managers etc. The thing is – let these non-creative and non-technical managers switch jobs with technical people. The staff with hard skills will definitely be able to ace the hardest tasks of the manager with ease, while most managers can’t even do the easiest day to day job of the technical staff. Something as simple as design a logo, or maybe write a script to automate stuff; let’s see how long a manager – who often earns significantly higher or at least on par with the technical staff – takes to do such a task. You can say managing people is an “extremely difficult” soft skill. I beg to differ.

Soft skills are simply a byproduct of assimilation into your environment and require no special effort to hone. How many people who pride themselves on their “soft skills” have picked up a book, or gone to a class to learn it? Place someone with little soft skills in a social environment, and they will be able to pick it up automatically. Place someone who has no hard skills in a creative, technical environment, and most likely they will be able to produce results.

For those managers who actively try to learn about their domain by reading up on books and taking courses, fair enough. Or managers who actively go above and beyond to improve company culture, processes and the overall team dynamics, then sure, the manager probably deserves the high pay.

But for managers who sit on their high horse and think that the title and pay make them better than their technical staff, think again. The technical staff can replace you with a click of their fingers, it’s just that they choose not to. To people working in creative and technical industries, know your worth!

My bf owes me alot of money.

We are together for about 4 years. In the beginning of the relationship, he was still in NS, so i didnt thought much of it when i pay for our dates, sometimes giving him allowance for his own meals. I am wondering if this has become a habit for him. Even though the topic has come up a lot of times, i admit that i havent been the most patient gf to him on this. He has gym memberships paid by me, physio costs was borrowed from me as well.

He has try, in his words, to accommodate to me and we no longer eat at expensive restaurants. Nowadays when we eat out, he will even pay for my meals. We also have a joint account together, but since he have been taking a lot from there, i try not to keep any amount in there. He has also stopping taking money from the account. However, his dad’s insurance money is deducting from our joint account, so there at least have to be an amount set aside every month. He is contributing most of that amount.

We have applied for a bto, and renovations pressurising me to save a lot more now, to cater for the pricing. Since i earned more, and his pay just nice covers his monthly bills, i am saving up solely for the renovations. It is a bit taxing on me, but no choice if i want to be able to renovate the house.

Recently we are planning something for our anniversary, so he booked something online, and told me to share the price. Was due to return me an amount this month, but i get the feeling that he has forgotten about it. So i let him know about that. Before him booking online we discussed about the item, but i did not agree to it. My credit card has monthly installments auto implemented, so, we couldve delayed the payment. But he told me that im being v unappreciative of his efforts, and that he didnt do anything, but am rudely shocked awake by me telling him that he still owes me money.

There are previous times where he slept happily, thinking about the plans he made, but got scolded by me the minute he wakes up. Am i being a v bad gf? I am really stressed about the money issues..

I got my son a motorcycle for his 21st birthday this past june. My son is obssessed with automobile and loves motorcycles. In his room he has plenty of models and posters of motorcylces of all types.

His bio dad passed away when he was just 12, now I’m married to my current husband and he has kids of his own.

My husband has always been against my son’s interest in motorcycles. he thinks I’m encouraging him to be reckless, distracting him from school and by extension his future, and spoiling him and blowing away money by spending money on a motorcycle. This caused some tension between him and my son so I told him to stop complaining about it.

Around 2 weeks ago, my son’s motorcycle went missing. it just disappeared. My husband had a smirk on his face the entire time just walking around saying “I told you so!, you just wasted your money!”. This was unbearable to hear to be quite honest.

My mother-in-law visited a few days ago. She was talking about the other house my husband owns and mentioned seeing a motorcycle, one that’s similar to the one that we lost parked at my mother-in-law’s HDB carpark.

My husband plans on giving it to his kids as an inheritance. I was puzzled I asked if she was certain but she showed me a photo she took of it which confirmed that it was indeed my son’s motorcycle. I immediately rushed to call my husband and confront him about it.

He admitted that he took and hid the motorcycle as a last resort after I and his stepson kept brushing him and his thoughts off about the money being spent on something unnecessary that could cause issues.

I blew up at him demanding he return it, he refused and told me he had been considering selling it and giving the money back to me so “I could use it wisely this time”. I told him I was serious and that I’d call the police. He literally said “this is a family matter and cops can’t do anything about it”. I had enough I called the police as soon as I ended the call with him.

He was let go eventually but he was livid with me. He came home yelling about how awful what I did was and how crazy my behaviour was.

I refused to engage in the argument but he told his entire family about it and they judged me for calling the police on my own husband even though I already asked him to return it. he said he was just looking out for my son and that one day we’ll realize that he was right but only when it’s too late.

My son isn’t speaking to me or my husband. I feel horrible about the whole situation and am starting to think I handled this the wrong way.

I am a SAHM with 2 kids and a loving husband.

Recently I’ve found out my first love is now married. My heart broke and to the extend that I will cry and couldn’t sleep. All the good old memories came back, having sushi and buffet with him, celebrating my 21st birthday and exploring around with his friends

It has been 10 years, I didnt not expect myself to react this for a guy that I was with for only 1 year.

I was the one who initiated the break up due to some bad comments by him which I couldn’t remember now. I shredded tons of weight (it was the first time that I weight <40kg). I moved on and dating other guys through the years.

While my first love and I kept in touch through friendly messages once in a blue moon (i.e. once a year or longer). Each time after my break out he would be sending friendly texts too. My heart skipped but somehow I have no courage to tell him. Rather I had a lot of excuses – I was afraid to get hurt again, who knows if he was the same old guy I know, maybe he is dating other girls and maybe I’ve changed so much that we can never be the same.

Fast forward, I got married and he unfriended me on Facebook. OK I was sad for a while, like why can’t we be friends. To think about it now it must have been hard for him to learn about my marriage too.

All were good until few days back when I learnt about his marriage. I am bitter and sad. Asking myself why didn’t we ended up together. I looked through all my past photos including those with my other dates. I didn’t have such intense feelings except for those with my first love.

Maybe I will never get over this lost love. For consolation, maybe in the multiverse T.YS and I are happily married with kids.

I met B at the age of twenty. I was a late bloomer and had never dated before. So, when B wanted to be my boyfriend, I agreed.

I even accepted his ‘macho’ attitude thinking it was because of our five year age gap. After a four year courtship, we decided to get married.

Two weeks before the wedding, B told my mum that he had lost a lot of money in a business deal. So, my mum paid for all the wedding expenses. Although B promised to return the money, I found out later that, that was never his intention. Till today, I wish someone had stopped me from getting married then. Unfortunately, no one did or I wouldn’t be writing this now.

Within the first week of my marriage, I started having doubts about B, but he always brushed them aside and said I was overreacting. I grew up in a traditional family and was taught not to air our laundry in public.

So, I kept everything to myself. I thought that he would change and so hoping for a better future, I single handedly serviced the mortgage loan for our home.

I held two jobs to make ends meet even when I was pregnant. Yet, all these were invisible to B. It seemed whatever I did was never enough for him. He always blamed me for everything that went wrong and played the ‘tragic victim’ in front of others.

His friends placed him on a pedestal thinking he was a righteous man while I was the incompetent wife. Even though I was a beautiful person inside and outside, his manipulation affected my self-esteem and confidence. I isolated myself from family and friends. They thought I was just being my usual self, the ‘anti-social’ girl; a common misconception about introverts. So, the change in me wasn’t obvious to them.

I detached myself from all emotions and instead focused on my career. I ensured I made enough to put food on the table. I prioritized his needs just to keep the peace within the family. Yet, B continued being a self-serving and manipulative evil j with no soul or compassion.

He treated me like an ATM and spent all his earnings on booze and entertainment.

Maid and KTV

One day, I caught him initiating s with my Indo maid. The pandora box was then unearthed. I found out that he had affairs with women ranging from mutual friends to the maids in the neighbourhood and KTV hostesses. I felt disgusted that despite having so many flings, he still had s with me regularly. I gathered as much evidence as possible and confronted B.

He denied everything and smashed it into pieces. I picked up my left-over dignity and initiated a divorce. B did not expect that from me. He always thought that I would never leave him and took me for granted. This time he knew I meant it and begged me to change my mind.

When I refused, he hurled insults and blamed me for the breakdown of the marriage. He became violent and threatened to harm me. I had no choice but to file a PPO/DEO against him.

The legal process lasted three years and finally I gained freedom from twenty-one years of soul-crushing hell. Counselling helped me understand that sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way we want it to be. We make mistakes but we must learn to move on. I still wonder where I went wrong. Then, I tell myself that a creep like him will never change and it wasn’t my fault. It was time to let go of the past and heal.

B still harasses me and I have cut all contact from him.

His female ‘friend’ sends me threatening messages with derogatory remarks. Deep inside I know that she is now his next ‘prime grade narcissistic supply’. I could have warned her but the irony is B had squandered away his earnings on such ‘women’ while his own children ate instant noodles. I may forget but forgiving won’t be easy.

B now lives in a rented room and can’t even afford a studio apartment. He has to work for a living and his senior years will be spent in isolation without savings.

His female friend has abandoned him because she has to support her children from previous marriages. He is no longer a good catch at the age of fifty. I believe that the law of Karma is fair and we will reap what we sow.

To all the women out there who are suffering in such marriages, please do not sacrifice your mental peace for the sake of your children. Kids are smart and they sense things.

My teenage son asked me, “Mummy, do you think we will be happy when we find out how much you suffered? Just to keep the family together? You don’t deserve this and you know that.”. And that was my hope for a better future without B.

* Names have been changed to protect family’s privacy.

on handling finances for elderly parents too old to work and has resorted to gambling.

My husband and I come from a middle income family. We’re not well to do but very comfortable, just had a baby so I left my job (both of our decision after lots of contemplation) to take care of her, at least until she is 1.

My husband is very filial, that’s what I love about him. He gives his mom a monthly allowance and is always the one in his family planning birthdays/festivities. He has a brother who doesn’t contribute at all to his parents, he has a big family on his so in a way we didn’t blame him.

My FIL lost his job 2 years ago and has started gambling to “make ends meet”, according to him. I only just learned of this. My MIL works part time so she doesn’t earn much and uses her earnings for her own meals and to upkeep the household – think groceries and whatnot.

Here’s the problem: my FIL has made great losses and have been borrowing from money lenders. This is the first time I heard about it from my husband; but there has been previous incidents, and he’s always only looked for my husband to pay his debts. This time, it is $10,000.

I’m very troubled. My husband is too but he says his dad would say he needed the money to pay utilities and there’s no other job he can do out there. Physically, this may be true because he’s part disabled. My husband had asked his brother for help, but his brother says he is incapable of helping financially.

My in laws are both receiving about $400 a month from selling their HDB back to the government. They have no health insurance.

My husband has been the only one that has to handle both his parents’ monetary issues for a really long time and it’s become a heavy burden to him, especially when we think about healthcare down the road. We both love my in laws very much. Other than being bad financial planners they still brought my husband up very well.

What can he do to help his parents be more independent should we be unable to help for much longer now that we have a newborn? Are there any govt schemes or subsidies we can apply for them as a low income household? Or trusts/bonds to invest their money in instead of spending it all on gambling and lottery? We really don’t think forking out money to cover gambling losses is going to help anything at all and it’s just going to spiral out of control.

Need some help in planning finances for parents who are too old to work and has no savings. Please help!

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Honestly, this does not apply to everyone. Ultimately it still depends on the individual.

But I’ve heard repeated stories and I myself have encountered many similar incidents before, here’s one:

I have a relative from my paternal grandmother’s side who filed for divorce after his wife (born and raise in Thailand) got her PR approved. Based on what he said, she has changed 360 degrees and even pushed all responsibilities of their children upon him (that’s what my birth mom did to my dad too).

In the past, she was kind, nurturing and gentle. Immediately after the divorce, she got involved in new relationships/hookups and used the monthly allowance she attained from her previous husband (my relative) to support a new family besides her own.

Did I mention that her personality changed 180 degrees too? From kind, nurturing and gentle to someone who would cuss at any moment and became extremely rowdy and violent – I think this is the answer that you’re looking for. Sorry OP, I don’t have any advice to give but my own experience

I’m not saying that all Thais/Vietnamese would be like that. Obviously, you have to determine if her ultimate intention in being together with you is because of her Singapore citizenship or if she genuinely loves you. Just a heads up because such incidents aren’t uncommon.

Here are what netizens think:

• Ouch thats pretty sad to hear… But yea i’m looking for things like that coz this is something practical to think about. Thanks

• I think he meant that she flipped into a totally different person that she initially was.

• if you are sus of your gf already, it means smth has changed. its better to rethink again on the decision to settle in (my personal opinion)